Was Safeena spunky or toxic? - Page 5

Safeena was almost like a female Kabir Singh (even had the same career goal come to think of it 😲) but minus the money and all the multiple addictions 😆...

But funny how it had to be women who were on the receiving end of both KS and Safeena's violence...

Originally posted by: Anjalika01

Safeena was almost like a female Kabir Singh (even had the same career goal come to think of it 😲) but minus the money and all the multiple addictions 😆...

But funny how it had to be women who were on the receiving end of both KS and Safeena's violence...

I keep saying if Murad wants to be with that type woman its his choice 😆

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

IT IS UNHEALTHY and TOXIC when men do it too.

There is absolutely no reason to fight for a mate, and no, it is not natural.

Stop propagating myths. Everything you said is a myth used to pit women against each other. They have no basis in reality.

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/06/queen-bee/488144/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1048984317305179

https://journals.aom.org/doi/abs/10.5465/ambpp.2014.11654abstract

https://thebaffler.com/war-of-nerves/non-compete

https://www.stitcher.com/show/more-please/episode/episode-50-female-rivalry-and-internalized-sexism-70056404

Jealousy is natural and normal. There is nothing wrong in getting upset at another woman who is eyeing your significant other and confronting them about it. But if the rage is only directed at other women - it is worth questioning - why is the man not being questioned or confronted - especially if he is guilty of philandering. Fighting patriarchy means confronting men when they use women, cheat on women, instead of blaming only other women.

On the contrary to everything, you said female friendships are natural and valuable to women. There is a lot of data suggesting that strong female friendships contribute more to female happiness than romances or marriage.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201808/the-importance-female-friendships-among-women

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/10/people-who-prioritize-friendship-over-romance/616779/

A large driving force behind witch hunts was the fear of female collectives. Society has always been afraid of women coming together and forming communities of their own and keeps finding ways to keep them as rivals instead of supporters.

Healthy rivalry is good. It is perfectly fine to compete with other women at the workplace, in sports arenas, and even in finding mates. I am not opposed to a natural sense of rivalry or competition people feel. And sometimes two people are not meant to be friends. But I am opposed to the notion that women always have to be at odds or have to always fight to keep their man. That shits demeaning. Women can do so much better than fight over some shitty guy.

Myths? Tell this to those Indian women who day in and out tell their parents to not choose a guy who has an unmarried sister at home (multiple first and second hand experiences). Or to those 90% women who are shit scared of getting an overly dominating mother-in-law---heck, we have 10-year-long soaps based on that! 🤣

Also, there is a shit ton of research on the 'Queen Bee' syndrome. Do some reading. Also, please read what I wrote. I NEVER denied that social factors encourage female rivalries. I just said that some of it (a LOT of it is due to the way women and society have evolved).

And who ever denied that women derive happiness from strong female friendships? 🤪 I only stated that it's not possible for EVERY woman to be 'sisters' with every other woman, especially if it's in a competitive space such as fighting for a romantic partner, the workspace, or even an in-laws' home where there is a joint family setting with multiple females in one place.

Originally posted by: Mahisa22

And who ever denied that women derive happiness from strong female friendships? 🤪 I only stated that it's not possible for EVERY woman to be 'sisters' with every other woman, especially if it's in a competitive space such as fighting for a romantic partner, the workspace, or even an in-laws' home where there is a joint family setting with multiple females in one place.

Women will fight other women to death over men 😆

Tell this to those Indian women who day in and out tell their parents to not choose a guy who has an unmarried sister at home

^Is this even real? I have not met one person who even thinks of it this way. I've been far from reality then...

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

IT IS UNHEALTHY and TOXIC when men do it too.

There is absolutely no reason to fight for a mate, and no, it is not natural.

Stop propagating myths. Everything you said is a myth used to pit women against each other. They have no basis in reality.

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/06/queen-bee/488144/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1048984317305179

https://journals.aom.org/doi/abs/10.5465/ambpp.2014.11654abstract

https://thebaffler.com/war-of-nerves/non-compete

https://www.stitcher.com/show/more-please/episode/episode-50-female-rivalry-and-internalized-sexism-70056404

Jealousy is natural and normal. There is nothing wrong in getting upset at another woman who is eyeing your significant other and confronting them about it. But if the rage is only directed at other women - it is worth questioning - why is the man not being questioned or confronted - especially if he is guilty of philandering. Fighting patriarchy means confronting men when they use women, cheat on women, instead of blaming only other women.

On the contrary to everything, you said female friendships are natural and valuable to women. There is a lot of data suggesting that strong female friendships contribute more to female happiness than romances or marriage.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201808/the-importance-female-friendships-among-women

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/10/people-who-prioritize-friendship-over-romance/616779/

A large driving force behind witch hunts was the fear of female collectives. Society has always been afraid of women coming together and forming communities of their own and keeps finding ways to keep them as rivals instead of supporters.

Healthy rivalry is good. It is perfectly fine to compete with other women at the workplace, in sports arenas, and even in finding mates. I am not opposed to a natural sense of rivalry or competition people feel. And sometimes two people are not meant to be friends. But I am opposed to the notion that women always have to be at odds or have to always fight to keep their man. That shits demeaning. Women can do so much better than fight over some shitty guy.

@bold literally this !!

and your entire post 👏

Originally posted by: aish.

Tell this to those Indian women who day in and out tell their parents to not choose a guy who has an unmarried sister at home

^Is this even real? I have not met one person who even thinks of it this way. I've been far from reality then...

Well you clearly either don't stay in India, or go out much. It's something people hear from their moms and aunts right from childhood: Do not get your daughter married in a household which has an unmarried nanad. I saw and heard it in multiple states all over India. Its as common as the proverbial bad saas. Even my PG room-mate rejected a guy a few days ago for this very reason: He had a sister living at home. My own cousin faced stiff opposition over marrying a guy (though it was an arranged match) because her mother was apprehensive about the guy having a college-going sister who was a few years younger than my cousin.

Originally posted by: Mahisa22

Well you clearly either don't stay in India, or go out much. It's something people hear from their moms and aunts right from childhood: Do not get your daughter married in a household which has an unmarried nanad. I saw and heard it in multiple states all over India. Its as common as the proverbial bad saas. Even my PG room-mate rejected a guy a few days ago for this very reason: He had a sister living at home. My own cousin faced stiff opposition over marrying a guy (though it was an arranged match) because her mother was apprehensive about the guy having a college-going sister who was a few years younger than my cousin.

This has got nothing to do with dominance or rivalry. This was because of dowry culture. Families would take dowry for the son and use that dowry to marry the daughter. So many women who brought jewellery etc from their parents had to part with it to be given to sister in law.

Yes it is still very rampant. That is why aunts and mothers would tell daughters to avoid getting married to a man with unmarried sister. As she will take away your dowry.

This has nothing to do with toxicity of safeena or similar woman who think it is ok to abuse and assault other woman instead of the man who cheated on them

Originally posted by: mintyblue

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcgYBDQ5a94

I have heard so many people label Safeena as spunky, but to me she comes across as a toxic character. The way she breaks the bottle on Sky's head is nothing less than psychotic.

Taking it out on the girl is so wrong. One should confront one's boyfriend first.

The toxicity in the character passes off as 'spunky' by some. How is that?

Discuss.

First of all, she could be BOTH "spunky" and "toxic". It's incorrect to think of people as basic as "good people" and "bad people". We all have shades, which change with time or not. Was she spunky? Hell yes. What she toxic? Well let's explore that for a second...

Her boyfriend spends the night with another woman and lies to her about it - when she finds out, she gets angry and smacks the b*tch over the head with a bottle after the girl chases after her and provokes reaction.

But it's very interesting how the man can cheat and lie and he's fine, but the girl gets upset and she's toxic???

IF the roles were reversed, and it was a guy feeling protective over his girl getting too close to another guy and hit him with a bottle, nobody would even flinch or notice and say "toxic"...

Therefore making Safeena my personal HERO. I would have probably gone as far as pouring a pint of beer over the boyfriend's head instead but, this worked better in the film obviously.

Murad was actually the toxic one in this case, if we really wanna talk about it, clearly. He's a liar, he lies to the woman he loves, the woman who was willing to sacrifice everything for him. He broke her trust. He made a FOOL out of her, in PUBLIC. You just don't do that to someone. She should have smashed him through a table thinking about it now.

But anyway... I think mintyblue is just trying to find new and innovative ways to show how much she dislikes Alia Bhatt, and that's what this topic is really all about :)

Originally posted by: Chiillii

This has got nothing to do with dominance or rivalry. This was because of dowry culture. Families would take dowry for the son and use that dowry to marry the daughter. So many women who brought jewellery etc from their parents had to part with it to be given to sister in law.

Yes it is still very rampant. That is why aunts and mothers would tell daughters to avoid getting married to a man with unmarried sister. As she will take away your dowry.

This has nothing to do with toxicity of safeena or similar woman who think it is ok to abuse and assault other woman instead of the man who cheated on them

I belong to a family and culture (Bengali) where dowry is almost a taboo. Ladke wale who even hint at it get shown the door in my family and extended family. So.

My own mom gives me the same advice, and it's because "Having another woman in your personal space will be a huge hassle", in her own words, as are my aunts' and female neighbors who had daughters married off.

So yes, it has EVERYTHING to do with the general toxicity of "nanad-bhabhi" relationship. No woman wants to deal with another woman living 24*7 in her homestead, because clashes are inevitable. Same goes for saas-bahu relationship. It's difficult to adjust with another woman in your personal space, because too much ego creeps in. This is why many brides' relationships with their nanads, devranis and jethanis are toxic, while relationships with male in-laws are absolutely fine.