This is one of the heaviest poems I have ever written..a very very heavy update ...
Dedication:This goes to a friend ...a very close one ..for whom i started writing, they say if you love someone purely words flow ..it was this special person that i started writing almost 17 years back, though I am not in contact with ..for several years ..its a gift of words that I owe to that special friend ..I know you would never read this, but thanks to you ..I write ..especially my shayris ...this ones for you Motu
A special shayri ..A extremely emotional update
Chapter 8
Ghutan
His routine was fixed ...every night picking up the rose from the thrash can and waving and kissing her goodnight ...Aaliya could see he was hiding something from her ...every day when he came back from his second job he looked hurt ...his puppy face made her want to hug him tight ...what was hurting him from within ...puzzled her...
The sadness kept on piling till one day,when she was watering the plants ...he stood close to her ...
She looked up ...his face looked tensed ..as though he was fighting something ...she coldly walked away ...
he walked behind her one step at a time ...till she stopped and turned back...he stopped too and starred back.
The intensity in his eyes was scaring Aaliya, they spoke a story of his loneliness ...her constant ignorance her taunts ...and her indifference was taking a toll on him ...
Kya hua ...aise kyu ghoor rahe ho ...
He came close to her ...she walked back towards the wall...he kept his arms on both sides trapping her ...
Aaliya ...he was about to speak but then kept quiet ...
Seeing his face ...she was worried something was bothering him ...hurting him ...his breath touched her neck...it made an invisible mark ...that was sliding its edge like a knife on her flesh ...
Aaliya ...please ek baat maan lo...Mai sach mai tumhare saath sirf paanch minute baithna chahata hu ...
chachu kea lava koi nahi hai yaha ..aur woh bhi aaj shear se bahar gaye hai..
sirf paanch minute saath de do ...jaise tum kahogi waisa karunga ...promise...par sirf aaj ke liye ...
Nahi ...she moved his hand and started walking away ..
As he stood there frozen in his thoughts ...she realized his loneliness was too much today ...she turned back, he had already started walking away, disappointed and heartbroken ...
...accha theek hai ..aao mere saath ...Aaliya said after a thought of few seconds
he was happy she had finally relented to his demands ...
They both walked to a guest room ...she asked him to sit on the chair ...when he was about to sit ...she spoke ...agar tumhe baat karni hai toh kar lo ...par haa mujhse koi javab nahi milega ...
aur us khursi se tab tak nahi uthoge jab tak mai yaha se chali nahi jaati ...sirf paanch minute ke baad mai kamre se chali jaungi ...joh bolna hai bolo ...
He smiled ..theek hai ...
she closed the door...his heart was racing ...finally he had a chance to talk ...
she pulled the heavy curtains , cutting off the natural light and he was wondering what was she upto...suddenly she moved towards the lights and switched them off...it was pitch dark and he had no clue where she was ...
Zains eyes couldn't adjust to the sudden darkness ...for a few miliseconds it grobbed in the dark...he sat there still , knowing she was around him ...where he had no clue now ...it was only silence and a never ending eerie loneliness that were haunting him now..
He was with her ...yet lonely ...her way of letting him pour his heart out ... being along with him ..yet keeping him physically away from his senses, her feel ... confining him in a swaddled blanket of exile didn't go well on his heart ...
For the first two minute he kept quiet ...gently groping on the harsh reality ...she was going to in humane extent of breaking him ...he couldn't belive the brutal blow ...the muteness ...he finally held himself ...
Da...bas paanch minute maanga tha ..usme mai bhi sivya khamoshi aur andhere ke mere saath mai kuch nahi.
Sorry tumse kuch maang liya, shayad galat kiya ...agar aise hi akele andhere mai baat karna tha toh khud ki kar leta ...
Rehne do ...meri ghutan mere seene mai hi dafan rehne do ...tarash khan eke liye shukriya ...chali jaao ..
The door opened and Zain closed his eyes ...in the brightness she walked out ...and he looked on the ground ...he couldn't tell her what was bothering him ...was worse than death ...
Aaliya reached her room and cried ...every hatred towards him was killing her soul...and he needed her, but she didn't want to move with him...the roads had dried up ...but she had to find what was hurting him ...it was more than her hatred ...he was still fighting with her ..but his soul was losing a battle against a pain ...
That night he still came as usual ...though he didn't talk much ...just the usual davai le lena ...I love you and the rose ...after he walked out she laid on the bed ...she had to find out ...his sadness had some deep roots ...
The next day it had been almost 2 weeks, since he had started his mysterious job ...Aaliya was inquisitive ...where was Zain getting the money from ...what did he do from 2:00-7:00 , what job was he doing ...the thought was bothering her ...his dirty clothes ...and his tired face were still not giving away what job he was doing ...
Every morning he woke at 4 and slept at 11:00 ...every moment he kept on trying to please her ...gulp down all her hatred ...the more she spitted the venom ...the more he ...bore the burden , but he never ever complained ...
Aaliya was getting tensed ...he was not talking out ...the last time she had spoken to Fahad ..he had felt better only to be sad again ...every day when he returned at 7pm , he looked disturbed ...she decided to see what he was doing ...
She decided to follow him out of School one day ...taking a special leave from the principal ...
Once he had told her bye, she quietly followed him out of the school...he was walking fast and Aaliya was having a difficult time catching up pace with him ...
Almost after a walk of half hour, he turned towards a gate and entered in ...
Aaliya took a break of 2 mins to catch her breath and looked up at the board on the gate...she was shocked ...her face fell...slowly she walked around the barred walls and saw a broken brick, trying her best to avoid being seen ...she peeked inside the small opening ...
When she heard him talking ...aree ...aap roz mujhe yehi savaal kyu poochte hai ...
Jee mujhe pata hai...mai yeh kaam aapne marzi se hi kar raha hoon... Nahi koi nahi jabardasti se karva raha hai mujhse ...yakeen manaiye mera ...ab dijiya mere paise ...keeping the 800 rs in his pockets ...
He slowly walked aside and started disrobing his pants, took off his shoes and socks ...and just in shorts ...gently folding them and putting aside ...his full sleeve shirt was pulled away till his elbow ...and he wore the skull cap that he had hidden in his pockets of his trouser ...
Aaliyas heart bleeded ...when she saw Zain takin the khurpi (hand showel) and spade digging the ground ...She walked away unable to bear ...what her hatred was making him do ...
Her wait for him till 7:00 was unbearable today ...she saw him walking towards the car, just like every day ...his clothes...his shirt was dirty ...she could still smell the mud of the fresh grave that he had dug few hours back...
Ghutan...
Gaur se dekh mujhe ...kya se kya ban gaya hu...
tere judai mai...kaise tanha jal gaya hu ...
maut ki sarhodon koh roz gehriyai se dekhta hoo mai...
badua ke kafila mai ...har lamha ...khada rehta hu mai ...
shayad teri khamoshi kam thi ..ki yeh sannate ke paas chala aaya ...
apne wajood koh ...tere hasraton se mita aaya ...
Kabar par mitte roz dalta hu...
ek toote rishte ki keemat ...apni bezubaani se har pal chukata hu ...
log janaze mai lipte aate hai yaha ...
meri rooh koh ghotkar najane chale jaate hai kaha ...
Mujhe ajnabee banakar ...aise chali na jaana ...
kaha dafan ho gaya hu ...
ek baar is ghutan koh mehsoos karne zaroor laut aana ...
SIM
Pre-cap: Showdown ...what happens when she asks him why ?
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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