Suchhe Dil Mein Pyar Karne wale-True love will win - Page 6

Originally posted by: Opti

The reason why people find it difficult to accept age mismatched couple is that the probability of the younger partners outliving the older one by several years increases, especially in cases such as this where the man is older than the woman by over thirty years. So other things remaining the same, it would be inevitable that Santo would spend a good part of her prime as a widow. Widow remarriages are not as common, especially in a society such as hers. In the case of a younger man marrying an older woman, there would not be as much problems finding another woman after her death.

One can always say that it is not how long you live with your partner that counts but how you live with him. So a few good years with DM may keep Santo happy. That does not take away the fact that she may have to face life on her own for many years unless ofcourse she too dies young (which is still a possibility) or DM lives for a 100 odd years. Even if he does, Santo's burden will only increase, taking care of an ageing man (nobody can defy age associated ailments).

Such things may be fine for a fiction but I am sure many of us would not want such a situation either for ourselves or for our loved ones.

Life has no guarantees, who knows maybe DM would outlive Santo. As for as taking care of a sick partner, maybe Santo could have a debilitating disease in which case DM might have to care for Santo or maybe DM would live a long and healthy life and would not need anyone to take care of him (I know people who have lived a long, healthy, self-dependant life until the day they died).

Yes, no one would want a situation like this for themselves or their loved ones, if given a choice Santo wouldn't have chosen this for herself either. But the question is when you already are in a situation like this how do you deal with it? You could either curse your fate and live an unhappy life or you could try to make the best of what life has dealt you and try to be happy. Like they say, when life deals you lemons, make lemonade.

Originally posted by: Nupur9

A Saudi Sheikh visiting our forum will LOVE the way we are making the whole 50 year old man & 18 year old girl-in-the-cradle relationship acceptable.....admissable...appropriate & legitimate!!!
Talk about regressed thinking!!!

First of all, don't think an 18 year old can be called a girl-in-the-cradle. Isn't 18 the legal age for marriage in India and also the age when you can vote? Though I am in no way advocating that girls should get married as early as 18, but don't think an 18 year old is a child.

Is the Saudi Sheikh unwillingly marrying the girl because he is being blamed by the villagers for her to-be groom running away since he set up the marriage and being blamed that no-one would ever marry the girl now and she would be a destitute because of him and because the villagers refuse to accept another groom whom he says he will set-up for life and because if he does not marry her his employees would not go back to work and complete his order or is he just adding her to his harem? Is he forcing himself on the girl or letting her be? Does the girl grow to respect him and develop genuine feelings for him once she starts seeing him for the man he is. Does he grow to respect her opinions and listen to her and show some caring towards her? I am sorry but I don't see a parallel between a Saudi sheikh and DM.

^ Totally with you on that, sg ..

There is nothing illegal if a 50+ man marries an 18 year old girl
because she has gone past her minimum age to marry .. true for many it is unappropriate and wrong to do so , but there is no legal provision to stop it..

But a bhanja marrying a maasi is just NOT done ..
It may not be illegal .. but it borders on an incestuous relationship .. so what if Santo is not treated as DM's wife, it does not change the fact that she is his wife..

Originally posted by: ronitfan

^ Totally with you on that, sg ..

There is nothing illegal if a 50+ man marries an 18 year old girl
because she has gone past her minimum age to marry .. true for many it is unappropriate and wrong to do so , but there is no legal provision to stop it..

But a bhanja marrying a maasi is just NOT done ..
It may not be illegal .. but it borders on an incestuous relationship .. so what if Santo is not treated as DM's wife, it does not change the fact that she is his wife..

Opti ,

As to acceptability many of us have problems digesting this 18-50 relationship especially when it is hurting an eligible couple.

Just WHAT does that mean?
In no way are SanRaj an ineligible couple or something that should
never have happened.. and if you think of it that way, if SanRaj would not have happened.. Hiten would never have landed at Nanaji's house because it was Santo who made the decision.. a right that she got after she was malkin for the villagers!

Originally posted by: Opti

My point is, is it necessary to sacrifice three lives for the sake of regressive social practice which has resulted in this convoluted situation?

Why do we keep saying ruining three lives? Shambhu would not have been a part of this mess if not for Hiten-Khemi, atleast he had a lucky escape, good for him. And with their actions haven't they ruined more lives. Haven't they ruined Nanaji's honor by eloping? Is anyone going to let him forget that his granddaughter eloped on the day of her wedding? What about Moongi - she lives in what is being referred to as a regressive society, isn't the fact that her sister ran away with a guy on the day of her marriage going to affect her future? Which eligible guy in this regressive society would agree to marry her some day? But then people would say Khemi should not sacrifice her "true love" for anyone. And all this is definitely going to affect Santo adversely. So basically Hit-Mi can ruin as many lives as they want as long as they get their "true love".

Ahaahhaah so true Sg,

Why are only SanRaj being seen as the people responsible for ruining three lives?

As a sanskrit verse says,

Vinash kale viparit buddhi ...
It aptly describes Hiten-Khemi and their folly..

Originally posted by: sg08

Why do we keep saying ruining three lives? Shambhu would not have been a part of this mess if not for Hiten-Khemi, atleast he had a lucky escape, good for him. And with their actions haven't they ruined more lives. Haven't they ruined Nanaji's honor by eloping? Is anyone going to let him forget that his granddaughter eloped on the day of her wedding? What about Moongi - she lives in what is being referred to as a regressive society, isn't the fact that her sister ran away with a guy on the day of her marriage going to affect her future? Which eligible guy in this regressive society would agree to marry her some day? But then people would say Khemi should not sacrifice her "true love" for anyone. And all this is definitely going to affect Santo adversely. So basically Hit-Mi can ruin as many lives as they want as long as they get their "true love".

Originally posted by: sg08

Why do we keep saying ruining three lives? Shambhu would not have been a part of this mess if not for Hiten-Khemi, atleast he had a lucky escape, good for him. And with their actions haven't they ruined more lives. Haven't they ruined Nanaji's honor by eloping? Is anyone going to let him forget that his granddaughter eloped on the day of her wedding? What about Moongi - she lives in what is being referred to as a regressive society, isn't the fact that her sister ran away with a guy on the day of her marriage going to affect her future? Which eligible guy in this regressive society would agree to marry her some day? But then people would say Khemi should not sacrifice her "true love" for anyone. And all this is definitely going to affect Santo adversely. So basically Hit-Mi can ruin as many lives as they want as long as they get their "true love".

Sg08 i totally agree with you again 👏

It seems that khemi and hiten are allowed everything just becaus dm made a mistake marriying a young girl.. Now they got a free ticket to do whatever they want 😕 Nothing they do will be called selfish just because they are doing it for their "true love".. As if true love can't be between a 50 year old and a 18 year old, as if true love cant be between a father and a son or between a nana and his granddaughter... NO only hiten and khemis love and actions are justifiable🥱

Originally posted by: Opti

Shambu's life would be ruined if he was to marry Khemi and find that the woman cannot give him love. Yes, the guy is wise and escaped before it came to that but didn't the rest of the village including the great DM want him to marry Khemi even after knowing what Khemi and Hiten feel for each other? As to Monghi, one can only hope that by the time she grows up, with radical people like Hiten, her society will be mroe progressive. I would say the entire village is ruining Hi-Mi, not the oher way around.

Yeah, one can only hope and if the society does not forget her sister's actions, too bad, she will just have to live with the consequences of having a sister like Khemi.

As for Hiten, he is too self-centred to do anything for the village. Let him get a job first, stand on his own two feet, prove his identity as someone other than DM's son, then talk about bringing change in society. Wonder where is he going to live now - in DM's home? Or in Nanaji's? And what is he going to do for a living?