Why we hate the 'mahaan' ? - Page 5

TM, a very nice article. A very thought provoking post indeed. What an awesome debate going on here...such wonderful answers. It feels like I'm doing my high sc LD debate all over again. Talking about morality 😳. In reality... morality means making the best possible choices according to my understanding... regardless of who agrees or not. If Anandi has taken some illogical decisions according to some here...that is her prerogative. Anandi while reasoning with Saanchi said ... "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" ...she may not find her at par with her Bro... but the Shekhers have accepted Anandi period. This reason stretches further then just preferences in men & women. It deals with the theory that truths are relative to what a person perceives of the world. It states that there are no moral absolutes. This is a concept I disagree with because even though some issues like abortion or gay marriage may not have a distinct answer to all, there are some things we can all agree on just as we can all agree on when we talk about what we see as beauty.😳

I feel Anandi has too much active and excitable Goodness Modules in her ... what she wants is absolute complete universal happiness and good stuff for everybody around her'.. Always Everything! Everyone! Always! Now! Complete happiness in every possible way for everybody forever and always. She gets hurt also for the same reason but that's how she is ...selfless, PATIENT & TOLERANT. Being with Jagia who has the coping skills of a two year old. ...she has mastered the art of never getting frustrated. Here we audience get

Such a lovely insight Anatara 🤗

But as elders say we can only wake people who are sleeping not the ones who are acting of sleeping.

We had mahan because being not so mahan is very easy. You need not do any sacrifices on any sort of thing. Being good consumes so much of energy, so much of life.

If you help your colleagues with their work they will take help, you end up working more and end of the day you get the same pay. But people do so for the feel good factor. A feel good factor about themselves. Once this feel good factor bites you there is no going back. You crave for it more and people who can't end up like that end up bickering hard that the other person is trying to be mahan. talking bitter just eases of their egos. Patience , sacrifice, love, commitment ... all these qualities engulf your energy and at times your life as well.

Originally posted by: hima_123

I am ok with little disparity in men and women roles...but not with huge gaps that such shows and their leads stand for. about men and women equal weightage...I think it should be about the number of hours--I think a woman who is spending 8 hours in child-care is doing no less than the one who spends 8 hours working outside her /his home. Also men do not work or bring incomes for the wife's parents/brothers/sisters...why are women in such shows expected to live for everybody in the husband's family?? About women who don't want to share work-load--yes, there are some lazy women...but there are some lazy men too--whose wives would work outside home, and do the household work too...while the men wouldn't share that work. However, the point is about the "sacrifices" women are making in such shows for husband's family---why should lead women be depicted doing this ALL the time? So I will be happy...if I see some men also so "mahaaan", then probably I wouldn't mind the women being "mahaan" too---I just don't like to see the onus of being "mahaan"(in terms of putting up with in-laws trash) exclusively on one gender in Tv shows...as long as both men and women are doing it, I am happy!

Also about why I find all this un-real--is because I find the link between depicted problems, chracterization, and solutions--very, very impractical and illogical.

I don't think this show is about rural women and the problems and solutions? What solutions are the creatives suggesting to rural women's problems?? That marry the 'collector' who goes crazy about you? Or wait for your in-laws to disown their son for you?? Duhh...these are hardly "real" scenarios(if they exist they're not commonplace).

These stories seem to be cinderella kind of fairy tales that only say "good things happen to good girls!"...I am neither a fairy-tale person and there is no "hook" for me in Anandi's story, as I can't even relate to her in terms of her situations. She would have touched my heart if I saw Anandi being a woman with problematic situations--and how she is struggling to overcome those--- but the fairy-tale aspect of her story doesn't make me feel anything for her.

And yes, I don't think a lot of people do things like Anandi does. And that, according to me, doesn't stem from being judgmental towards myself or towards anyone else.My opinion towards Anandi, not similar to the people I have seen or met in my life, is just an observation. Everyone might have a different observations as per their experiences. those who have met Anandi-like women, might feel her characterization is "real"...but I think differently. And yes, like other students, I have done hundreds of hours of community service---weekly we collect and raise funds for the poor and the disabled, distributing food and donations...I am not the only one--my friends do it too...many, many school and college students do it here--its just another part of education here. But we can be nasty and bitchy too---we compete...we argue and fight about what we want...we talk back...we are not "great"...Doing community service--and showing Anandi's tolerance levels, are two different things---while I have seen too much of the former...I have seen very little of the latter...as I said everyone has different observations.

congrats on both your posts ...u've hit the nail on the head in terms of problems many of us have had while watching BV while being absorbed by the characters and storyline which almost become real for us...while i agree with the analysis in the article put forward by TM in general, i dont think it puts forward the entire picture...a lot of frustation with anandi's character at points has arisen not because people find themselves not measuring up to her standards ( that happens more in our everyday contexts with people around us not so much with fictional characters and heroines with whom we start identifying)...the frustation when u start identifying with a character or have sympathy/empathy with her situation arises when we feel they are actually not doing what ought to be done under certain circumstances ...more so when we are looking at serials with a social message and based on a social tradition ...not fairytale romances where we expect characters to be almost perfect...but when we are looking at a serial which claims to represent a social reality of which we are a part and which affects us, our emotions , our ideas about equality and justice , we want more real life portrayals which portray ordinary men and women with whom we can relate dealing with these situations in a way we feel is just and fits our conceptualisation of the ideal way to react and behave in such situations...hence when people are frustated by anandi endlessly being patient, sweet and the ideal bahu at all times whatever comes her way , it is because they identify with her as the heroine and want the heroine to be perfect ...not 'perfect' in the traditional 'good bahu' sense but in the way we would like the 'ideal woman' or even us to ideally behave ...we dont want her to affirm societal prejudices , and injustices thru behaving in the traditional way but we want her to question those , be strong and assertive about her rights and the respect due to her as an 'EQUAL' not an idealised woman ...we want people - men and women to be treated equally in terms of expectations and demands we make of them because it matters to us...because if anandi is to be idealised then it makes superhuman and not necessarily just demands for those aspiring to be like her - the problem is not whether we can or cannot be like her, the problem is that demand and expectation should not be made on any ordinary woman to conform to such standards ...not because one cant measure to them ( ofcourse many of us cant 😆) but to say that any ordinary woman whether she has anandi's patience, traditional goodness and virtue or not - should never go thru what anandi had gone thru ...and we want serials to make that point in a way that we can relate to it without distancing ourselves by putting the heroine on a pedestal and coming up with a fairytale like story which makes it far far easier for ordinary men and women to distance themselves from the heroine, the story and hence even the social message in it ...

and here yes shiv is shown as the ideal man but that is besides the point - he is not the balika vadhu so whatever he does and says is pleasant and admirable to us without people having those expectations beforehand about the ideal ' son in law ' or 'husband' . Our problem is that anadi's portrayal despite certain radical departures at points, comes too close to the kind of portrayal of 'ideal woman' which society demands and oppresses ordinary woman with... and which few can or should be even asked to measure upto before they can lead lives as equals with basic dignities and freedoms gauranteed to them...

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People are irked by 'Mahaan' characters cuz they are jealous of them ! 😆..

I donno abt others, but this is my POV -

Anandi is really amazing.. I LOVE this girl 😊.. But personally, I have seen in other shows that directors try to make a character 'Mahaan' even though the character is extremely annoying, have ruined lives of many, but even then is shown as an innocent 'helpless' one when he is nt ! Directors ridicule the idea of Mahaanta with Helplessness.. And this is something which irks me cuz those so called mahaan-characters get themselves into the situations with their own stupidity and cry foul and act all innocent ones when they are NOT ! And directors try to cover up the mistakes of those characters by showing some Mahaan acts .. I hate that !

To understand what I mean, try character called - Mona Singh from Kya Hua Tera Vaada atm ! 🤢 One more I can name, but that serial ended long back so jz let it go ! 😵

Anandi is amazingg... And she should remain so.. AnSh are MFEO !! ❤️

Originally posted by: Suchi-Virmanian

well said. I have said that many times.

The people who have issues with people like Anandi is cause they themselves see that they are not up to par ...

This was clearly shown during Anandi vs Gauri war

Originally posted by: aparnauma

Nice and also a very thought provoking post from you.😊

It is so right.We often compare ourselves with people who are considered as great or known for their moral high ground they take and realise that we are not upto the mark.

That's why people hate Anandi and it is so obvious from the posts that we see everyday.

We probably get satisfaction by trying to find faults in such personalities be it a fictitious character or a historical personality or any contemporary social activists.And it probably gives comforting feel.and we tell ourselves they are not so great after all.

May be we wont hate mahaan people so much if we analysed them rather than comparing ourselves with them.

We should try and look for faults in them and tell ourselves that if a person with these faults could reach the heights that we aspire to probably we will be able to reach those heights with all our faults if we took lessons from him or her.

Anandi's speech in yesterday's episode was a big take home lesson for me.She said all the things that we would have said if we were in her place but she said in such a beautiful and graceful way.

Originally posted by: dsupriya

Agree with your post completely Antara. People in their eagerness for women's lib and or sometimes spice and drama, are forgetting that we women espeically Indian women have been very patient. And smarter women especially housewifes have known how to get the point across without excessive nagging or impatience. As my mother always puts it, that we as women have an innate quality of adjustment, patience and tolerance, which we should not lose completely. We should definitely fight, but at times in the family, to maintain relationships, we also show our patience and bow down gracefully, This could happen with your parents as well, This has happened with me too when I may not agree with my father, but would be patient and calm, especially when he is angry on something, just not to spoil the relationship, And then calmly explain.

I think many of the members here forget that and try to bash them, as they may not be able to do the same.

Excellent post once again👏👏👏

Originally posted by: BUDDH

Woman11,

Salute to you for the following line:

However, the least we can do to kill the little goodness that is left in this world is stop ridiculing people who are morally better than us, or snigger at people who are trying to make a difference

Reading through your original mail and subsequent posts was so interesting. Had gotten fed up with this meaningless and barbaric assault on Anandi and sometimes even Shiv. Albeit they are fictional characters, but they convey a message of how the microcosm of society can behave, hence the reactions were interesting.

Excellent piece, my congratulations once again 😃

Originally posted by: ankit111

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Wht i hv seen during discussion of a serial character, generally people try to judge a character on their own mapdand. They imagine, wht they wd hv done in tht situation and whn tht character does not the same, they start criticizing it, without understanding the other factors, like upbringings, surrounding culture etc. even on the basis of some weakness, which present in any person, becoz no one is perfect, even if tht weaknesses r far less thn their strong ness, people tag tht character as doormat, mahan ( in negative sense) etc, forgetting all their pluses.

Ankit - with all due respect, you say criticism is done because we dont understand their upbringing, their culture, their environmental context etc. and therefore we criticize because the character is not like the way we would behave in the situation though our upbringing and culture may be different.