Is not wanting to work also a woman's choice? - Page 3

Originally posted by: SmithaRam

Why do you feel kicking pakhi is going to be counter productive? Nor challenging your thoughts, but trying to understand the reason.

I think she must be let go off, so she learns it the hard way.

Because 1) she is not working as Anupamaa expected given she has a husband providing for her, she is chewing the life out of her husband in the quest for a comfortable or luxurious life on top of that her insolence has been driven to its peak because now she has unilaterally cut off any emotional ties with Anupamaa and the rest. Let's suppose as a scenario had my parents ever kicked me out of the house just so that I become independent as per their perspective but kept my freeloading siblings around then I would never forgive them for it or even maintain any sort of ties with them even if they were in dire need of my help later on when I am financially well off on my own, in short I would disown them. I don't know about you or the rest but this is how I would feel if this were to happen to me.

2) even if she was kicked out what could she do for a living when she has no degree? Maybe she could work part time but then would she be able to sustain herself with just that if she were to pay rent? Let's say with the salary she earns after paying rent would she have enough to pay for her college after paying the living expenses? No? Let's say she takes up two jobs then when will she study? At the end she will still not be able to study and will only end up hating her parents and family. Let imagine one day if she gets kicked out of her accommodation due to not having enough money to pay the rent, then she could pretty much end up in a vulnerable state where some random men would either harass or assault her like how it happened to Dimple that even in broad daylight when she got kicked out by her family for eloping and getting married. How would Anupamaa and Dimple's parents be any different here? If you say Dimple is trying to earn a living which is true but how exactly? She got a job based on sympathy or more rather like a type of help and that even because she has been abandoned by her husband.

3) In the process of trying to teach Pakhi a lesson Anupamaa and the rest are literally burning the bridge as a result of which Pakhi will only resent everyone and become even more hateful towards them given how her elder brother was shown leniency when he has done much worse, forget her brother even that Barkha is still in KM.

Originally posted by: Rein123

Would your opinion change, if Pakhi was a man and Adhik a woman? Rest all things would be the same.

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

There are too many things that need to be addressed here.

1. Definition of a Homemaker

2. What Rich Pampered Homemakers do? (Frankly I cannot comment on this)

My rich homemaking aunt this is when she was still married used to sit at home watching TV, she had a maid who would do all the chores including the cooking and besides this shopping every other day or invite her high society friends over to gossip. I dont know about other women but this is what i saw of my aunt given she would sort of brag about it whenever she would visit over.

A Homemaker, regardless of which strata of society one belongs manages a household.

Limiting the definition of a homemaker to a woman who stays at home, in my opinion, is a Huge disservice to ALL the women.

Mind you, a Homemaker is also not one who does household work.

Homemaker supports and stands by her family emotionally, manages the household finances and knows when and how much she can afford to spend. She takes decisions for the family in their best interest. It is a full-time, thankless, highly critical and Highly responsible job.

Yes it is, but there are men who think of it as nothing since it doesnt generate income while completely ignoring the fact that its an income saving activity. Men think that homemaking is easy and that that their wifes just spend money carelessly which is true in Pakhi's case but gets applied to everyone else as well.

I would assume even a rich "pampered" Homemaker manages a household. Rich pampered homemakers also, I would think, know when and how much they should splurge.

Cant comment on this

According to the introduction sequence, reiterated a few times on the show and Anuj's own admission, she was a responsible person as a daughter-in-law, a loving sister-in-law and a mother figure to Adhik when Ankush-Barkha got married. There has been one sequence where she has appreciated her acceptance by her in-laws which also means (including Anuj's statement) she stayed in a joint family.

Maybe that was how she projected herself and played her cards. Judging by how she kept instigating Ankush to usurp everything can you really say all of that wasnt a pretense?

Hence, it can safely be concluded that she did take care of her family. Regardless, someone instigating another is no conclusive evidence of her not having managed her family. Then what would we call when she rightly recognised that Pakhi has only married for money and luxury and does not love Adhik? In any case, Pakhi's reaction to her instigation proved her theory absolutely right. Infact, in this case, she did a favour by instigating her to bring out her true intentions😆.

For that matter Barkha made the same allegations about Anupamaa as well, In short barkha also called anupamaa a gold digger in reference to Pakhi. Also of she thinks this way about other women marrying into the family then how can you say she is any different from what she accuses others of being? Also how do we know what Barkh was like when she was newly married?

Originally posted by: Shri_12

Would your opinion change, if Pakhi was a man and Adhik a woman? Rest all things would be the same.

I think I already responded to this earlier when I said men too have a choice to become homemakers. If Pakhi were a man then also she or he would have the right to choose between being a homemaker or being the breadwinner. Same goes for Adhik. If Pakhi's ego didn't allow her to live off Adhik's earnings then I wouldn't be shocked.

Originally posted by: Rein123

According to the introduction sequence, reiterated a few times on the show and Anuj's own admission, she was a responsible person as a daughter-in-law, a loving sister-in-law and a mother figure to Adhik when Ankush-Barkha got married. There has been one sequence where she has appreciated her acceptance by her in-laws which also means (including Anuj's statement) she stayed in a joint family.

Maybe that was how she projected herself and played her cards. Judging by how she kept instigating Ankush to usurp everything can you really say all of that wasnt a pretense?

There was reason for it, right?

Her own brother usurped their property rendering her and Adhik homeless. She had on a couple of occasions mentioned, she knows what it is, to be homeless and without money. Once bitten, twice shy. When their business collapsed and with their thinking that, because her father-in-law helped Anuj's parents set up the business, they had rights on it, she wanted to exercise those rights to secure her daughter Sara's and Adhik's future.

Also, she did try to pitch in a high-end fashion line project for funding which Anupama refused which added insult to injury.

If her intention was to usurp the property, she would not have waited in pretense for 20 odd years, isn't it?

Hence, it can safely be concluded that she did take care of her family. Regardless, someone instigating another is no conclusive evidence of her not having managed her family. Then what would we call when she rightly recognised that Pakhi has only married for money and luxury and does not love Adhik? In any case, Pakhi's reaction to her instigation proved her theory absolutely right. Infact, in this case, she did a favour by instigating her to bring out her true intentions😆.

For that matter Barkha made the same allegations about Anupamaa as well, In short barkha also called anupamaa a gold digger in reference to Pakhi. Also of she thinks this way about other women marrying into the family then how can you say she is any different from what she accuses others of being? Also how do we know what Barkh was like when she was newly married?

In the resort sequence, Barkha mentioned she was angry because she was far more qualified and had a good business acumen and had been a daughter-in-law for so long but she was never considered worthy of helping with business or considered part of the family whereas, Anuj handed over everything to Anupama during their marriage much less handling the business which she thought was very unlike Anuj. Given Anupama's past, she suspected her to be a gold digger.

Regarding how do we know what she was like when she was newly married, the only references we have are from Anuj and Barkha herself are contradictory and more conclusive that:

Anuj mentioning that She was a nice daughter-in-law, loving sister-in-law, mother figure to Adhik but he did not bat an eye lid before warning/threatening her are contradictory, also meaning that her assumptions of always being considered an outsider despite her qualities are true.

Also, why assume the worst if there is no conclusive reference, right?

If Rakhi is any example to go by.

Inline responses.

If her brother usurped their business that gives her the right to make a plan to usurp Anuj's business? I will call it usurping because she had initially colluded with Adhik into wooing Pakhi to control Anupamaa.

Whatever the reason may have been it is still no excuse to call or suspect someone is a gold digger unless she is indeed one herself too. Maybe she is salty about not being trusted with the business despite being the bahu for such a long time but she could have started her own business instead when it was all good now couldn't she?

I don't get why Barkha's actions are questioned and scrutinized so much and assumptions are also made, but Pakhi's are justified with a million excuses. It can't be just the age I mean, if Pakhi is old enough to take her own decisions and old enough to get married without her parent's consent, she's old enough to take responsibility for the way she is and change it.

Also, obviously her parents will pay for her education. Anupamaa even said so. They won't leave her in a situation where she is completely stranded and helpless. All they want is for her to take some responsibility, to see how wrong her entitlement is and to actually go do something with her life. Pretty sure if she even agreed to continue her studies, they would help them a lot more. There won't ever be a situation where she works two jobs, has to quit her studies etc., that's definitely not happening Their main intention is for her to learn a lesson and change the way she thinks. They've not washed their hands off her for life.

Originally posted by: Rein123

If her brother usurped their business that gives her the right to make a plan to usurp Anuj's business? I will call it usurping because she had initially colluded with Adhik into wooing Pakhi to control Anupamaa.

Whatever the reason may have been it is still no excuse to call or suspect someone is a gold digger unless she is indeed one herself too. Maybe she is salty about not being trusted with the business despite being the bahu for such a long time but she could have started her own business instead when it was all good now couldn't she?

When did I mention that what she did was right?

Even trapping Pakhi to control Anupama was wrong and she knew it. Anyway, it was wrong.

ALL I am saying is, there is a past or a reason for her insecurities.

Waise dekha jaaye toh jo insab ne socha woh Vanraj ne kar dikhaya na? Infact he went one step ahead in jealousy and almost killed him.

Vanraj ko toh maafi bhi mili aur ab toh Vanraj aur Anuj "besties" hain.

Ankush-Barkha were humiliated and made to apologise to, hold your breath, Shahs as well. I mean, really? These are the yardsticks?

About Barkha starting her own business, she clearly mentioned that she was not allowed to and none supported her. Hence, when she saw Anupama had started partnering in his business, she made a pitch for her own business.

In that case, isn't it a question for Anuj? If he is so progressive, what stopped him from encouraging his bhabhi ALL these years? Another contradiction?

Also, have you seen the number of "influencers", especially fashion influencers lately? The field is absolutely saturated and unless you bring something unique to the table, you aren't going to get anywhere. And anyway forget all that, let's say Pakhi could do something in this field, where have they got to the point of having a conversation about this? She's SO rude and entitled, she doesn't even listen to anything. All she does is roll her eyes, her mother has spoken for days on end, Kavya and Kinjal have given it to her straight to her face and to the point, but nope no effect on Papa ki absolutely useless Pari Pakhi. Before anyone suggests ANYTHING, she shuts them off saying she just wants to chill. She said that to Adhik as well today when he just asked her to think about what she wanted to do in life. Sorry but she's 21, her parents can guide her but they can't do everything for her. Normally kids realise they have an interest in something different, like Samar did, and tell their parents. In this case, at least if Pakhi told her parents she's confused and doesn't know what she wants to do they can help her. She seems very sure of her decision to be a useless oaf and won't listen to anyone's advice against it.

And why isn't she doing any work in her house now? Anupama isn't even there to spite. She hated having to make it at Kavya's house as well, she even complained about it quite a bit, not like she loved doing it. I'm sorry but there's no excuse for her, maybe it's the way they've written her character but she needs to be given a very harsh lesson, or she'll never learn.

Does she wants to be a housewife, no she wants to sit and just eat at her husbands hard earned money and throw tantrum if wants to be housewife why does she not do household chores, she wants Adhik to do office work and house work and what will she do just sit and misbehave, this choice should be respected ?

Aur Pakhi to housewife bhi nahi banana chahti housewife means full time job no holiday even on Sunday to don't insult them by talking and comparing them with Pakhi

Yes I agree that women should be independent both financially and emotionally but not all women are career oriented in that sense and only wish to become or remain as homemakers not that I support it or think alike but not everyone is the same now aren't they? So why judge? Kavya was judged earlier for being a poor homemaker as she was more into her job and couldn't do the chores properly and here Pakhi is being judged for not wanting to study and remain as a housewife?

If Pakhi is not interested in having a career why isn't her choice being respected? If she is happy as a housewife who wants to be supported by her husband financially why is that such a bad thing? There are so many women just like her who are just fine with not having a career. Yes keeping aside her entitled and bratty nature, I don't think her choosing to be just a housewife is such a big deal, so why is that so hard for anupamaa to understand?