Is not wanting to work also a woman's choice?

Yes I agree that women should be independent both financially and emotionally but not all women are career oriented in that sense and only wish to become or remain as homemakers not that I support it or think alike but not everyone is the same now aren't they? So why judge? Kavya was judged earlier for being a poor homemaker as she was more into her job and couldn't do the chores properly and here Pakhi is being judged for not wanting to study and remain as a housewife?

If Pakhi is not interested in having a career why isn't her choice being respected? If she is happy as a housewife who wants to be supported by her husband financially why is that such a bad thing? There are so many women just like her who are just fine with not having a career. Yes keeping aside her entitled and bratty nature, I don't think her choosing to be just a housewife is such a big deal, so why is that so hard for anupamaa to understand?

I think Pakhi has not even finished her studies and her family keeps asking her to atleast finish her studies, imagine she wanted to go to US for higher studies (although her real reasons were different) but now she is not even interested in finishing the degree she is pursuing

Also being a house wife is a 24*7 job, but for Pakhi it’s just a title and an excuse to sit idle all day, you cannot just sit at home and file your nails do makeup or do social media all day, she doesn’t want to do a single house work, didn’t even help her husband lift a single box and set up the house, she orders a simple thing like a coffee from outside instead of making it for herself or her husband, infact even if she would need a glass of water she would ask her husband to get it for her

Her sole intention of marrying Adhik was to get rich quickly and enjoy luxuries, attend kitty parties and sport designer wears, but like she herself said, her mother ruined her plan

She wants everything easy in life, and for her actual definition of a housewife is being a Maid, which she called her mother in today’s episode

She recently met her friend who appreciated her for marrying Adhik saying ‘what a catch’ and this girl was ashamed to say that she lives separately and not in Shah house and is not going for any Honeymoon, infact she lied, for her everything is about showing off something which doesn’t belong to her

Not wanting to go outside for work outside to earn money and not wanting to work at all in life, just live a luxurious life, order servants all day, just get decked up click selfies and upload to show off your life are two different things

Of course not working can be a choice and Anupama understands this very well,but completing ur education irrespective of what u want to become is a must so that whatever may happen in life that degree will always stay with a person & that is the only thing that comes to ur rescue during financial crisis as it helps u fetch a job.Here Anupama is not wrong in wanting Pakhi to complete her education and even becoming independent by doing a job,as it always better to earn ur own living than being dependent on ur spouse,agar Anupama yeh chahti hai toh kya galat hai?Also Pakhi wants to be a HOUSEWIFE but when has Madam actually done any work that a housewife is supposed to do?All she does is order coffee, paint her nails & scroll SM.Pakhi's definition of housewife is no work only aish on husband's money,which is completely opposite of the reality of a housewife. Pakhi's problem is that she doesn't want to do any sort of work and wants everything to be served to her in a golden plate.So it's not about Pakhi not wanting to do a job,it is about Pakhi not wanting to do anything but wanting to get everything, she's a lazy,selfish, freeloader.

Ofcourse a woman's choice of having a career or not should be respected.

That is not the bone of contention here in this context which is why I have mentioned on multiple occasions that the show fails in Reasoning Actions or Bhashans and terribly so. There has to be good reason and logic when we preach something.

Pakhi's decision of not opting a career is her stubbornness or zidd. She does NOT want a marriage. To her, marriage is a means or a reason to escape from things and responsibilities.

Being a homemaker is a huge responsibility which she does not intend to shoulder.

Barkha may not have had a career but she still was a homemaker. She cared for her family and managed their home.

Similarly, Anupama did not have a career, did not pursue education but managed Shah family. She was a homemaker.

Exactly what does she want out of life?

Originally posted by: ItsmeAzra

Of course not working can be a choice and Anupama understands this very well,but completing ur education irrespective of what u want to become is a must so that whatever may happen in life that degree will always stay with a person & that is the only thing that comes to ur rescue during financial crisis as it helps u fetch a job.Here Anupama is not wrong in wanting Pakhi to complete her education and even becoming independent by doing a job,as it always better to earn ur own living than being dependent on ur spouse,agar Anupama yeh chahti hai toh kya galat hai?Also Pakhi wants to be a HOUSEWIFE but when has Madam actually done any work that a housewife is supposed to do?All she does is order coffee, paint her nails & scroll SM.Pakhi's definition of housewife is no work only aish on husband's money,which is completely opposite of the reality of a housewife. Pakhi's problem is that she doesn't want to do any sort of work and wants everything to be served to her in a golden plate.So it's not about Pakhi not wanting to do a job,it is about Pakhi not wanting to do anything but wanting to get everything, she's a lazy,selfish, freeloader.

Actually no, if you haven't worked right after you completed college then no company considers you for a job because of your age, lack of experience and even their own prejudices. At the most you will be able to find an entry level job that even if your competition is worse than you during the interviews.

I agree with the fact that she just sits idle all day and isn't working like a housewife but keeping all that aside my question relates to the very notion of Anupamaa pressuring to Pakhi to study or get a degree or having a career while she was cool with Samar not wanting to study or having a degree just because he wants to be a dancer.

Yes Pakhi wanted to study abroad perhaps that is what she wanted all along and isn't very into the local institutes? As per her maybe studying abroad is the best form of education, maybe it really is. That happens right? Kids who aspire for one thing tend to look down on anything they believe is below their aspirations. As for getting rich quick, that is her perception that her mother became rich after marriage so she also wants the same thing for herself. Like that day Anupamaa was like she still commutes in an auto but that's not really true given she is now commuting in a car so this reinforced her beliefs over the same.

Pakhi's problem isn't that she wants everything on the plate, she wants people especially her family to bend to her demands and hence she is throwing those tantrums because that is how things have always been for her since childhood. Maybe she wants to do a job but doesn't want her mother to have things go as per her way or the way she expects.

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

Ofcourse a woman's choice of having a career or not should be respected.

That is not the bone of contention here in this context which is why I have mentioned on multiple occasions that the show fails in Reasoning Actions or Bhashans and terribly so. There has to be good reason and logic when we preach something.

Pakhi's decision of not opting a career is her stubbornness or zidd. She does NOT want a marriage. To her, marriage is a means or a reason to escape from things and responsibilities.

Being a homemaker is a huge responsibility which she does not intend to shoulder.

Barkha may not have had a career but she still was a homemaker. She cared for her family and managed their home.

Similarly, Anupama did not have a career, did not pursue education but managed Shah family. She was a homemaker.

Exactly what does she want out of life?

Being a mother obviously barha will care for her family but how do we know she managed her home judging by how she was manipulating and instigating Pakhi for demanding luxuries and expensive gifts and functions? Saying stuff like Pakhi deserves all that since she married into a rich household? Anupamaa did not have a choice other than managing the household due to lack of education. But here it is about willfully choosing not to have a career post marriage.

Pakhi wants to be a home maker but not a middle class homemaker, she wants to be a 'rich pampered' home maker

Originally posted by: Rein123

Actually no, if you haven't worked right after you completed college then no company considers you for a job because of your age, lack of experience and even their own prejudices. At the most you will be able to find an entry level job that even if your competition is worse than you during the interviews.

I agree with the fact that she just sits idle all day and isn't working like a housewife but keeping all that aside my question relates to the very notion of Anupamaa pressuring to Pakhi to study or get a degree or having a career while she was cool with Samar not wanting to study or having a degree just because he wants to be a dancer.

Yes Pakhi wanted to study abroad perhaps that is what she wanted all along and isn't very into the local institutes? As per her maybe studying abroad is the best form of education, maybe it really is. That happens right? Kids who aspire for one thing tend to look down on anything they believe is below their aspirations. As for getting rich quick, that is her perception that her mother became rich after marriage so she also wants the same thing for herself. Like that day Anupamaa was like she still commutes in an auto but that's not really true given she is now commuting in a car so this reinforced her beliefs over the same.

Pakhi's problem isn't that she wants everything on the plate, she wants people especially her family to bend to her demands and hence she is throwing those tantrums because that is how things have always been for her since childhood. Maybe she wants to do a job but doesn't want her mother to have things go as per her way or the way she expects.

@g-she didn't pressurize samar regarding studies because he had a passion & he is also earning a decent living becauseof it,so yeah no problem,what passion does Pakhi have?Insulting her mother seems to be her only passion

@p-Pakhi didn't want to go abroad to study,but to explore America and live the American teen life, studies was just an excuse.Also if she really wanted to go abroad then she should have studied that hard & gained scholarships.Did she do that?NO,because Madam wants everything to be served to her on a plate whether or not she deserves it,whether her parents are able to afford it or not,all that is secondary for her.

@b-if she thinks getting married to a rich guy will settle ur life and make u a socialite, then I feel nothing but sorry for her sick mentality and perception.Also Anupama married Anuj when he was a pauper,it's only later that he got back everything.And if she wants the same thing for herself then she should have done a better job in her gold digging pursuit and married an actual heir of a wealthy family & not a guy who himself is dependent on her step father & try to loot Anuj.

@b-why should everyone bend to her demands & tantrums?What has she done for anyone that she expects everyone to act according to her?Maybe in childhood all her wrong demands too were fulfilled,but we can excuse that too thinking they fulfilled all that because she was a kid,but now she is an adult,she has her own brain, conciousness & sense of right & wrong,if she wants anything then she should work to get it & stop throwing her good for nothing tantrums because ppl are not obligated to listen to her nonsense.

Pakhi just wanted to go abroad because Kavya and Kinjal had and a lot of other people were doing it. It was clear she wanted to because of the "luxury" and "fun" associated with it. Nothing to do with the education.

And yes it's completely okay for a woman to be a housewife, just that Pakhi's idea of a housewife is completely different. As you said, she wants to be the rich and pampered housewife who does nothing. She does ZERO work! At least if she took up SOME responsibility at home, you could say this is what she wanted. Her intention from the beginning was the money and lifestyle but her husband, who she claimed to have loved initially, is struggling to make a life for them both, so how can she behave like this? It's different if she married some super rich businessman and he was okay with her living this life. Then that would be her life, who are we to judge? But even then you'd say it's not the best idea because these days financial independence is everything. And you never know how a person can turn out to be, so being wholly dependent on them is not a good idea.

And I think Anupama just said it because of her personal experience. Any mother will pass on lessons she has learnt to her child. Of course the CVs committed the blunder of introducing Anuj too early on in her journey, but for a regular woman without a completed education or financial safety/independence, what would she have done in such a situation? She would be helpless if her husband cheats on her or decides to leave her. And I'm sure if Pakhi wanted to be a singer/dancer or she was actually interested in something other than being on her phone, filing her nails and partying, they would've been okay.

Yes it is also her parents and family's fault but at least now they need to do something about it, undo the wrongs of the past. That's why I agree with the decision to kick her out of the house, no other way she'll learn.

And getting into fashion and social media is not at all easy, it's a lot of hard work and effort that goes beyond wanting to wear fancy clothes and post your pictures on instagram. Don't we all like doing that? A career in it requires creativity, lots of hard work, patience, sleepless nights (especially in the fashion industry), a functioning BRAIN, which she doesn't seem to have lol. But I think the main issue with Pakhi is that she's very lazy and uninterested in anything that requires effort. If she at least showed that she could put in effort for things she liked, they could steer her towards this direction but I'm sure her "hard work" ends with posting a couple of selfies and buying new clothes (again the need to spend money and own things, than a pure interest in fashion). She loves coffee, how often does she make her own? 😆

Originally posted by: lalaland23

Pakhi just wanted to go abroad because Kavya and Kinjal had and a lot of other people were doing it. It was clear she wanted to because of the "luxury" and "fun" associated with it. Nothing to do with the education.

And yes it's completely okay for a woman to be a housewife, just that Pakhi's idea of a housewife is completely different. As you said, she wants to be the rich and pampered housewife who does nothing. She does ZERO work! At least if she took up SOME responsibility at home, you could say this is what she wanted. Her intention from the beginning was the money and lifestyle but her husband, who she claimed to have loved initially, is struggling to make a life for them both, so how can she behave like this? It's different if she married some super rich businessman and he was okay with her living this life. Then that would be her life, who are we to judge? But even then you'd say it's not the best idea because these days financial independence is everything. And you never know how a person can turn out to be, so being wholly dependent on them is not a good idea.

And I think Anupama just said it because of her personal experience. Any mother will pass on lessons she has learnt to her child. Of course the CVs committed the blunder of introducing Anuj too early on in her journey, but for a regular woman without a completed education or financial safety/independence, what would she have done in such a situation? She would be helpless if her husband cheats on her or decides to leave her. And I'm sure if Pakhi wanted to be a singer/dancer or she was actually interested in something other than being on her phone, filing her nails and partying, they would've been okay.

See I agree with what you say on not being dependent on others for money or anything, and Anupamaa seems to be completely against the idea of just being a housewife which is also right but this is not what Pakhi wants for herself.

I feel Pakhi should be shown why she should be independent rather than being told by mere words and kicking her put especially after she got married is not useless but counter productive. If Pakhi isn't ready to listen to Anupamaa they should get another person who could actually help her understand the value of financial independence because Anupamaa is clearly not an example Pakhi would consider.