Is not wanting to work also a woman's choice? - Page 2

Yeah Anupama's bhashans are highly ineffective, everyone knows that. She gets insulted, she gives a loooong bhashan for a few episodes, everyone remains the same and insults her even more, she leaves the house and then they're all celebrating festivals together again. This, in a loop, is the show Anupamaa.

Originally posted by: Rein123

r-yes it's not easy but not impossible too,but if she doesn't complete her degree then it is definitely impossible.

Anupamaa managed to find a job and a career without a degree

Yes she did because she had the talent of cooking and passion & talent for dance,sadly dear sweetudi doesn't seem to have any talent or passion in the world apart from insulting her mother.

@g-she didn't pressurize samar regarding studies because he had a passion & he is also earning a decent living becauseof it,so yeah no problem,what passion does Pakhi have?Insulting her mother seems to be her only passion

Pakhi seems to be into fashion, social media in the sense instagramming, she could be directed into that field if she receives the right guidance, why is no one helping her see and discover that as a career instead of pressuring her into completing college? As far as I know this does not even require a degree.

@p-Pakhi didn't want to go abroad to study,but to explore America and live the American teen life, studies was just an excuse.Also if she really wanted to go abroad then she should have studied that hard & gained scholarships.Did she do that?NO,because Madam wants everything to be served to her on a plate whether or not she deserves it,whether her parents are able to afford it or not,all that is secondary for her.

There are many who want to do that, she could explore America and study at the same time. Also at that time her father was sending her because he could afford it, there are so many rich kids who don't even score high for a scholarship but they get to study abroad just for the experience. Atleast she did not throw a tantrum then and listened to her mother

Her father was sending her,lol🤣Vannu baby was ready to send his princess to America using Malvika's money and not his own money,big difference.Also the rest of the other kids who get into foreign universities without being capable enough are able to do that because their OWN parents are able to afford it,with Pakhi that is not the case,her freeloader dad was planning to use Anuj's money to send her abroad.Amd yeah,badi meherbaani uski that she listened to her mother, as if she had any other option, lol.

@b-if she thinks getting married to a rich guy will settle ur life and make u a socialite, then I feel nothing but sorry for her sick mentality and perception.Also Anupama married Anuj when he was a pauper,it's only later that he got back everything.And if she wants the same thing for herself then she should have done a better job in her gold digging pursuit and married an actual heir of a wealthy family & not a guy who himself is dependent on her step father & try to loot Anuj.

This I agree

@b-why should everyone bend to her demands & tantrums?What has she done for anyone that she expects everyone to act according to her?Maybe in childhood all her wrong demands too were fulfilled,but we can excuse that too thinking they fulfilled all that because she was a kid,but now she is an adult,she has her own brain, conciousness & sense of right & wrong,if she wants anything then she should work to get it & stop throwing her good for nothing tantrums because ppl are not obligated to listen to her nonsense.

Because that is how things have been for her since the beginning so she expects it to continue on. If they wanted her to be responsible and independent from the start then they should have trained her since the beginning by not giving into her unnecessary demands from the start.

I agree she was spoiled by Vanraj & Baa in her childhood, but now she is a grown up right?Now she has the sense of right from wrong,then why can't she use her own brain to see & realize how wrong she is.Being given a wrong upbringing is no lifelong excuse for her selfish & bratty behavior, sometimes ppl need to reflect upon themselves and see what wrong they are doing, as human beings we all have the capability to understand when we are right & when we are wrong.

Originally posted by: lalaland23

Yes it is also her parents and family's fault but at least now they need to do something about it, undo the wrongs of the past. That's why I agree with the decision to kick her out of the house, no other way she'll learn.

And getting into fashion and social media is not at all easy, it's a lot of hard work and effort that goes beyond wanting to wear fancy clothes and post your pictures on instagram. Don't we all like doing that? A career in it requires creativity, lots of hard work, patience, sleepless nights (especially in the fashion industry), a functioning BRAIN, which she doesn't seem to have lol.

Pakhi has it in her, a girl who was passionate about the extra curricular activities in her school would definitely have it. She is also a dancer just like Anupamaa why is everyone forgetting that? As for as creativity, hardwork, patience and sleepless nights is required she will learn that eventually when she starts or directed towards it. If we go by this logic then Pakhi is not fit for any job at all since she doesnt have a functioning brain so why should anyone bother asking to work or study?

But I think the main issue with Pakhi is that she's very lazy and uninterested in anything that requires effort. If she at least showed that she could put in effort for things she liked, they could steer her towards this direction but I'm sure her "hard work" ends with posting a couple of selfies and buying new clothes (again the need to spend money and own things, than a pure interest in fashion). She loves coffee, how often does she make her own? 😆

That is how people start their journey as influencer on social media now don't they? That is how they gain followers initially before they get brands to approach them for promotions. Half the amatuer people I see on social media are only either posting selfies and flaunting new clothes. When she was living with Kavya in her flat that time I think she was preparing her own food and coffee so it's not like she can't do it herself, it's rather she is having some sort of adamance to not do anything just to get back at Anupamaa.

Originally posted by: ItsmeAzra

r-yes it's not easy but not impossible too,but if she doesn't complete her degree then it is definitely impossible.

Anupamaa managed to find a job and a career without a degree

Yes she did because she had the talent of cooking and passion & talent for dance,sadly dear sweetudi doesn't seem to have any talent or passion in the world apart from insulting her mother.

@g-she didn't pressurize samar regarding studies because he had a passion & he is also earning a decent living becauseof it,so yeah no problem,what passion does Pakhi have?Insulting her mother seems to be her only passion

Pakhi seems to be into fashion, social media in the sense instagramming, she could be directed into that field if she receives the right guidance, why is no one helping her see and discover that as a career instead of pressuring her into completing college? As far as I know this does not even require a degree.

@p-Pakhi didn't want to go abroad to study,but to explore America and live the American teen life, studies was just an excuse.Also if she really wanted to go abroad then she should have studied that hard & gained scholarships.Did she do that?NO,because Madam wants everything to be served to her on a plate whether or not she deserves it,whether her parents are able to afford it or not,all that is secondary for her.

There are many who want to do that, she could explore America and study at the same time. Also at that time her father was sending her because he could afford it, there are so many rich kids who don't even score high for a scholarship but they get to study abroad just for the experience. Atleast she did not throw a tantrum then and listened to her mother

Her father was sending her,lol🤣Vannu baby was ready to send his princess to America using Malvika's money and not his own money,big difference.Also the rest of the other kids who get into foreign universities without being capable enough are able to do that because their OWN parents are able to afford it,with Pakhi that is not the case,her freeloader dad was planning to use Anuj's money to send her abroad.

@b-if she thinks getting married to a rich guy will settle ur life and make u a socialite, then I feel nothing but sorry for her sick mentality and perception.Also Anupama married Anuj when he was a pauper,it's only later that he got back everything.And if she wants the same thing for herself then she should have done a better job in her gold digging pursuit and married an actual heir of a wealthy family & not a guy who himself is dependent on her step father & try to loot Anuj.

This I agree

@b-why should everyone bend to her demands & tantrums?What has she done for anyone that she expects everyone to act according to her?Maybe in childhood all her wrong demands too were fulfilled,but we can excuse that too thinking they fulfilled all that because she was a kid,but now she is an adult,she has her own brain, conciousness & sense of right & wrong,if she wants anything then she should work to get it & stop throwing her good for nothing tantrums because ppl are not obligated to listen to her nonsense.

Because that is how things have been for her since the beginning so she expects it to continue on. If they wanted her to be responsible and independent from the start then they should have trained her since the beginning by not giving into her unnecessary demands from the start.

I agree she was spoiled by Vanraj & Baa in her childhood, but now she is a grown up right?Now she has the sense of right from wrong,then why can't she use her own brain to see & realize how wrong she is.Being given a wrong upbringing is no lifelong excuse for her selfish & bratty behavior, sometimes ppl need to reflect upon themselves and see what wrong they are doing, as human beings we all have the capability to understand when we are right & when we are wrong.

*Expecting her to change overnight is not going to work because that just doesn't happen. It will require some time.

So only women have the choice to choose between working and managing home? Men do not have a choice. They have to work outside, irrespective of their career orientation. What would be your opinion if the genders were reversed?

I will try to put in gender neutral opinion. Every relationship works on 50-50 partnership. It may not 50-50 every single day, but overall it should be. Otherwise it will result in burnout of the partner giving more. Food and chores need to be done for every person. Money is a necessity that needs to be earned. Who does what doesn't matter. When both partners are working and earning money, chores also get divided. When one is homemaker, the bread winner has complete responsibility of money and homemaker has complete responsibility of house. The point is both partners need to contribute something. A man whose wife works, can't afford to do overtime because he has some domestic chores but he can afford to lose the overtime money because his wife earns. A man whose wife stays at home can't afford to let go overtime money but he can stay up because his wife has got the chores covered. The reason why Vanraj could be successful in a short time was Anupama having his back. He need not had to worry about food, washing clothes, running errands so he could give extra time to work.

But the problem is Pakhi is doing neither. She isn't bringing money nor she is taking care of chores. With this Adhik is bound to be burner out. That's the issue.

Originally posted by: Rein123

Being a mother obviously barha will care for her family but how do we know she managed her home judging by how she was manipulating and instigating Pakhi for demanding luxuries and expensive gifts and functions? Saying stuff like Pakhi deserves all that since she married into a rich household? Anupamaa did not have a choice other than managing the household due to lack of education. But here it is about willfully choosing not to have a career post marriage.

Pakhi wants to be a home maker but not a middle class homemaker, she wants to be a 'rich pampered' home maker

There are too many things that need to be addressed here.

1. Definition of a Homemaker

2. What Rich Pampered Homemakers do? (Frankly I cannot comment on this)

A Homemaker, regardless of which strata of society one belongs manages a household.

Limiting the definition of a homemaker to a woman who stays at home, in my opinion, is a Huge disservice to ALL the women.

Mind you, a Homemaker is also not one who does household work.

Homemaker supports and stands by her family emotionally, manages the household finances and knows when and how much she can afford to spend. She takes decisions for the family in their best interest. It is a full-time, thankless, highly critical and Highly responsible job.

I would assume even a rich "pampered" Homemaker manages a household. Rich pampered homemakers also, I would think, know when and how much they should splurge.

According to the introduction sequence, reiterated a few times on the show and Anuj's own admission, she was a responsible person as a daughter-in-law, a loving sister-in-law and a mother figure to Adhik when Ankush-Barkha got married. There has been one sequence where she has appreciated her acceptance by her in-laws which also means (including Anuj's statement) she stayed in a joint family.

Hence, it can safely be concluded that she did take care of her family. Regardless, someone instigating another is no conclusive evidence of her not having managed her family. Then what would we call when she rightly recognised that Pakhi has only married for money and luxury and does not love Adhik? In any case, Pakhi's reaction to her instigation proved her theory absolutely right. Infact, in this case, she did a favour by instigating her to bring out her true intentions😆.

Pakhis definition of a house wife is to sit idle, shop, watch tv, order out & probably get someone to do the chores. That’s not a house wife. Pakhi’s ambition is to be a free loading coach potato

Originally posted by: Rein123

I feel Pakhi should be shown why she should be independent rather than being told by mere words and kicking her put especially after she got married is not useless but counter productive. If Pakhi isn't ready to listen to Anupamaa they should get another person who could actually help her understand the value of financial independence because Anupamaa is clearly not an example Pakhi would consider.

I think she must be let go off, so she learns it the hard way.

Housewife sabse pehle apme husband ke salary ke hisaab Ghar mein cheej laati hai

Pehle dekhti hai ki Ghar mein use sabse jyaada kisi jaroorat hai

Sabse pehle house wife basic item kharidete Hai Jaise tea milk pulse rice aata Dabbey balti utensils surf soap brush wiper jhaadoo fridge washing machine mattress table kurs crockery

Directly sabse pehle koi Ac nahi khareedta hai

Beginning mein cooler se kaam Chalayan jaa sakta.

House wife uth ke sabse pehle khana ki tayari mein. Lagti hai check karna Hoya basic need available hai ki nahi phir sabhi ko maintain Kara hota hai kahin ghun jaala to.nahi lag raha koi cheej tooti to nahi .Ghar se clutter nikalna yeh sub house wife ke kaam Hota hai

Aise 750.rs ki coffee order karke aur phir use fek kar Chale jaane use saaf bhi nahi karna ko.house wife nahi kehte

Originally posted by: Shri_12

So only women have the choice to choose between working and managing home? Men do not have a choice. They have to work outside, irrespective of their career orientation. What would be your opinion if the genders were reversed?

I will try to put in gender neutral opinion. Every relationship works on 50-50 partnership. It may not 50-50 every single day, but overall it should be. Otherwise it will result in burnout of the partner giving more. Food and chores need to be done for every person. Money is a necessity that needs to be earned. Who does what doesn't matter. When both partners are working and earning money, chores also get divided. When one is homemaker, the bread winner has complete responsibility of money and homemaker has complete responsibility of house. The point is both partners need to contribute something. A man whose wife works, can't afford to do overtime because he has some domestic chores but he can afford to lose the overtime money because his wife earns. A man whose wife stays at home can't afford to let go overtime money but he can stay up because his wife has got the chores covered. The reason why Vanraj could be successful in a short time was Anupama having his back. He need not had to worry about food, washing clothes, running errands so he could give extra time to work.

But the problem is Pakhi is doing neither. She isn't bringing money nor she is taking care of chores. With this Adhik is bound to be burner out. That's the issue.

Bang on👏!