Lo Siento: IshRa TS | FINAL: Page 11 [04/09] (Sht 1: Pg 1,Sht 2: Pg 5) - Page 8

"Hallo!"

Thank god! It wasn't her.

"Hello, mummy jee? Something urgent has come up in the office, I won't be able to make home on time today. Please tell Ishita not to wait for me and have dinner," he said in one breath and disconnected the call, afraid his mother might figure out the shaking in his voice and ask questions to which he wouldn't have any answers right now.

"Ishita, puttar you have dinner on time today. Raman called to say he'll be late. He has some important work, didn't even wait for me to acknowledge."

Relieved! That's what she felt in the moment. Relieved to know that she still has more time to compose herself, to gather strength, before she has to break him. Though she knew, it was momentary, but she felt grateful for every second that prolonged this pain from crashing on him.

At around 1:39 am, he entered his room to find her in deep slumber, clutching his night shirt tightly. His eyes welled up at the sight. How much does she love him! Sighing, he kept his belongings on the couch, came towards her sleeping self, caressed her forehead and planted a soft kiss there, before proceeding to grab another shirt from the closet.

She opened her eyes the moment he entered the washroom. Touching the spot on her forehead where his lips touched her a few seconds ago, she felt over-whelmed by his love. Her hands clenched on his shirt, she didn't even realize when did the tumult of tears start. Before she knew, her face and his shirt were both wet.

That is how he found her, sobbing quietly into his shirt. He was shocked was an understatement.

"Ishita??"

Recognizing his presence, she quickly turned her face towards the couch and wiped her face. But he was too quick for her. He ran towards her and grabbed both her hands.

"Ishita? Ishita, what happened? Why are you crying?"

She whimpered at the concern in his voice and broke down.

Sobbing, she managed to utter, "Ram... mann... I... I am... so... sorry."

She knows!

There was only one reason that could make her lose control this way. Was this why she stayed away from him the entire day? Didn't even call once when she knew he'd be late?

"Ishita!" he cried, worried out of his mind. HOW does she know? He didn't tell her, he didn't give her any hint, he didn't even talk to her the entire day.

She looked up to find tears streaming down his face, his eyes reflecting the same sorrow.

He knows!

There was only one reason big enough to make his voice crumble this way. Was this why he stayed away from her the entire day? Called up landline, came home late?

"How do you know, Raman?"

"How do YOU know?"

"Dr. Manoj called me soon as the reports were prepared."

"Which was when?"

"Yesterday evening"

"Are you crazy?" he shouted.

"Raman... I..."

"Shut up! Just shut the hell up! Who the hell do you think you are?"

"I know... I am soo sorry, Raman! You can lash at me as much as you want. I know I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, shouldn't have encouraged Ruhi's prayers. I'm sorry," she cried in a low voice.

He was flabbergasted. Here he was worried sick since this morning about her, and she, she was carrying the storm inside her all through Romi's wedding. Everyone was teasing her about the baby, and she knew, and she didn't utter a word. What was this woman made of!

He wrapped her in his arms in a bone-crushing hug, afraid of letting her go. She was selfless, and he knew that, but today, he witnessed the strength of her love for him and it scared him. This was HER dream, and here she was, apologizing to him, ready for his outburst. If he was guilty before, there was no word to describe what he felt now in this moment.

"I am sorry na Raman! Please, please don't cry. I can't see you like this."

"Shut up Ishita! One more word and I don't know what will I do, but trust me, it won't be good," he whispered in her ears.

"Raman?"

"What ARE you? You've known this all along and you chose to keep mum. WHY?"

"How could I have disrupted Romi's wedding? Every one was so delighted, it was a happy occasion, the entire family was together in the celebration."

"No, the entire family wasn't together in the celebration. The soul of this family was breaking down and I had no clue. You were suffering, and I, I couldn't even comprehend. You didn't look me in the eyes all day and I couldn't even see through your pain. I was the one who gave you the hope, and you bore the brunt of it, all alone. I am sorry Ishita, I'm really sorry. We were fine, and I wanted more, and I did this to you, to us. Everyone was talking about our baby, and you listened to it all with a smile, when you knew there was to be no baby, and I... I don't know what to say..."

She was shocked. Here she was, ready to face his temper, because she knows he hides his pain with his anger, and he, he was blaming himself for something he thinks he did wrong. What was this man made of!

She tightened her arms around her. He loved her too much, and she knew that, but the intensity of his love knocks her out every time she realizes the extent of his feelings for him. This was HIS dream, and here he was, apologizing to her, ready to drink all her tears. If she felt apprehensive before, there was no word to describe what she felt now in this moment.

"When did you come to know?"

"Morning. A nurse from the clinic called to inform about your reports."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't YOU tell me?"

She broke from the hug and looked at him intently. Cupping his face in her hands, she laughed softly.

"Look I love you too much to see you go mad like this. WHAT IS MAKING YOU SMILE WHILE YOU CRY?"

"We are both mad, Raman," she said, touching her forehead with his.

"We're so madly, deeply in love that we ourselves don't understand the depth of our emotions for each other. We were both worried, not for ourselves, but for each other. I was afraid of letting you down, and you were afraid of seeing me devastated. In our sorrow for the other, we didn't realize, it was not my dream, it was not your dream, it was OUR dream, and yes, it has now crashed, but what remains, is US, and that will remain forever."

She will make him go crazy one day. They're both still reeling in from the after effects of their collapsed dream, and how simply did she remind him of what's now important in her life, in their life. Yes, what remains is THEM, and them, it'll always be.

"And we have Adi and Ruhi, our kids, YOUR kids. We don't need any more to prove our love, or the fact that you're the best mother in this whole wide world. We even have a trophy as an evidence, you know."

He will be the death of her one day. They're both still engulfed in the sadness that has surrounded them, and how simply did he remind her of their kids, her kids. Yes, she is a mother, and will always be.

"We have our own family, Ishita, and we complete each other. That's all that matters. WE are each other's dream, the one that will never get crushed."

"We're imperfectly perfect," she smiled.

"Hmm...," he responded wiping the last tear off her face.

"So we're not going to cry any more. Ok?"

"And no more sorries too."

"Done! By the way, since when did Raavan Kumars of this world start shedding tears and apologizing, instead of terrorizing people?"

"Ever since this Raavan Kumar got married to a madrassan Jhansi ki rani! He can do nothing but weep on his misfortune."

"Kuch bhi!"

"And look who's talking? The only thing that YOU know well, is to cry."

"There are a few other things that I know very well, Mister," said she, with a sly smile.

"Prove it," he added with a wink, grabbing her waist and pulling her towards him, while as she crashed into his chest and nuzzled deeper into his neck.

The strength of their relationship was not in the tears they shed for each other, but in the tears they shed with each other, and the night once again witnessed their love over powering their agony.