Birds And The Bees With Ishita & Shagun - Page 8

Will reply to others in a while my hands are killing me at the moment 😳

Originally posted by: EkPaheli

Raman; behavior tonight cannot be commented on right now as per me because we dont know the entiretly of the situation so shall talk about this when we see things as for Raman being unwilling to do it - no thats not what I said - what I said is earlier when we saw Raman initiate anything - be it holi or the night when he wanted those papers things werent as they should have been. On holi he said he has Adi now - which is entirely irrelevant to him consummating his marriage with Ishita isnt it? Had Adi stayed with Shagun forever as it happens in the book where he is Arjun would it mean that IshRa stay as monks forever and on that night Raman seduced her to steal those papers, maybe he wanted to spend some moments with her before he hurts her so badly the next day, but that moment is tainted by the fact that it wasnt entirely desire there speaking, it had guilt muddled there along with it.

Aani ... loved the write up 👏. But then when you write, I always know it would be that.

Physical intimacy is one of the bases of a marriage. I no longer want to say that Ishita or Raman are responsible for the exasperatingly idiotic dry spell going on in their marriage. Somehow both (actually the CV's) completely missed the train on this one aspect in the show.

After the initial confession of their feelings, the first few instances when Ishita & Raman had hit-&-miss situations was acceptable. Yes they weren't able to take their relationship further because an ex dropped, their family just wouldn't leave them alone, coz the cook was on leave for a week, etc, etc. But later it just becomes ridiculous. The couple has side hugs & night time coffee rituals going but the bedroom f'course is not the right place to do it (they probably need a hut or a jungle abode). The whole thing is just ...strange.

But what just upped this unbelievable situation was Raman & Ishita's baby talk, their visits to the hospital (I mean, come on !!!). Somehow I could not accept the whole "lets do it for a baby" track.
I think CV's really lost the plot there. They could have saved this for the future but ...ah well.

Coming to Shagun being the one to point out the light, well its funny & creepy in equal measures to see the ex-wife (who not so long ago was quite bitter & hated the new wife to hilt) taunts the current wife of her husband so that they finally consummate their marriage after 2 years. Errr. Umm.

While I agree that Shagun is the only one who knows the sexual side of and the lover within Raman, but my question to the CV's is completely different -- why does a third person have to convey this message to Ishita or Raman?

Being the mature adults that they are, why haven't they been able to talk about this aspect of their marriage. Given it the due attention it deserved and done something about finding the time for themselves ...as husband & wife, as lovers, as a hot blooded couple who is attracted to the person he/she loves.
I wished that is how the story of this unique couple was taken forward ... based on desire, love, attraction and a need for each other. Not because someone taunted someone, someone wants a baby, someone wants you to wear a sexy outfit.

However, as you said, I am equally glad that they did not get Ruhi to convey this message *phew*.

On a lighter note, I know the leads of a desi soap supposedly lose steam if they have sex too early in the show. But YHM also taught us -- the leads' desire for sex (& the viewer's patience) loses steam too if they leave it for long 😛😆

PS -- Aani, as usual your post made me write more than I meant to. Some of the points might be a bit off the tangent but I haven't really ranted on this whole "we need to procreate asap" track till date. Hope you don't mind.

Lovely comments..enjoyed reading them all...my thoughts matched most with Hema's (OnePiece).

Originally posted by: avni_19

Great post, very well written and apt stuffs! I just loved what you wrote. Nothing more to say just 👏👏👏 and 🤗🤗🤗 for u Aani dear...

Originally posted by: yhmmylife

The tittle and the author caught my eye 😆.it is always a pleasure to read your pov...nothing more to add to it Aani 🤗

Originally posted by: Aru.Divan

Aani this is a brilliant post and the title just cracked me up 😆.

Coming to the episode, I never meant to watch it after the Written update but then after reading your take on the episode I did go back against my words and saw the one. Yes it was really crude but then somewhere after reading the WU I felt this was one conversation which was required. I am just sorry that only Ishitha had to hear it and not Raman. Shagun is the only person who could talk about her sex life with Raman and at the same time I was kinda irked hearing it from the fact that, she shouldn't really be bothered cos she never liked him near her except when it has to be gloated about. Example: Vandu Bala anniversary.

The same conversation from someone else like Vandu cos she is the only eligible person could have also been effective but not sure if Ishitha would have taken her words seriously. But I have always felt Iyer sisters love listening to one another advice sincerely so this could have also been a hit but a little dicey as well. Had it been from Vandu, we could have seen the conversation similar to something what she had with the doctor 😕

Raman equally deserves this lecture cos more than anyone he always spoke about doing IT just for the sake of babies. Yes he wanted to have babies for her to feel the motherhood but leaving all that behind did he really take the initiative normally even once? During holi, He took the step but announced that as promised we should take our relationship ahead bacause Adi will join us soon. Second when she had a fracture, He approached her that night but that was to get the legal document concerning Ruhi's custody to get Adi to his side. After Vandu's baby was born both once again spoke for babies and similarly happened after Rohit came home. If Ishitha required a round of lecture from Shagun for whatever reason it maybe which the CVs tried justifying, someone should clearly drill sense in to Raman about the fact that babies are not everything. Even after knowing the fact there are very little chances to have babies, harping on and on about it would only create discomfort in a relationship which is what has happened between IshRa.

Ishitha never deeply looked in to the aspect that she was not desired, but she only heard from him "Lets do IT to have babies". Being diagnosed with blocked fallopian tubes medically its tough to have babies naturally. So whenever Raman spoke about having babies having some kind of a natural apprehension is not something bizzare. Today hearing all the sex talk and need for sex beyond children from Shagun, it brought out one set of her insecurities. Now the next step even if Raman wants to do IT for babies, I don't think Ishitha would go around blushing and be happy. He better get lectured on that fact by Ishitha or if not CVs propose Shagun is the best at business then be it straight from her. Raman this way has to clearly move on from his past. The other set of insecurities being her ability to conceive and not disappoint the family. I really want an open conversation, heart to heart before they do IT.

There are many viewers out there who are gutted after yesterday's episode, maybe some sort of feeler for all of them before hitting the top scene. Also, those who are upset after the episode must read your post. It's beautiful Aani. Take a bow 👏

P.S: Really sorry Aani if my write up somewhere matched yours. Never intended to

Originally posted by: Pooja_Chavan

I have almost finished reading all the posts here and I'm surprised to know that Raman is being primarily held responsible for not getting physically intimate with Ishita! If I'm not mistaken it is the same Raman who had been labelled as DESPO in the forum again and again because he couldn't resist his sex drive. From last seven to eight months, Raman mostly had one thing in his mind and one thing to do on the show other than shouting and barking at his wife---how to find a way to romance with his biwi. It was Ishita who always shied away and the reason behind Ishita's reluctance was termed as the results of her insecurities from the past.

Bang on. Despo Raman was soo desperate for physical intimacy and now khotte Raman doesn't want his wife. No wonder Raman is the favorite escape goat for ALL.

Had it been real life, the amount of effort Raman has put in last 8 months to make Ishita comfortable around him and shed her invisible inhibitions yet hardly his efforts have been reciprocated, the marriage would end in divorce by now. It's as simple as that.

Originally posted by: mreshma

Res...Edited

I have majority of times found that my thoughts are almost in line with yours but today I beg to differ...

With yesterdays episode the Cv's( n ur words too) made it look like the reason why IshRa didn't consummate was solely Raman's inconsistent libido...and Ishita was made to feel that she is not at all appealing to Raman as woman...When blaming the 7.30 slot is a trend in this forum, why is yesterdays episode an exclusion?...Is it just bcoz it dared to speak about sexual relation between a husband and wife at least this openly? But then why is the man in a relation solely being blamed for inconsistent libido and not the woman also who is an equal partner in the relation?

Hi Reshma, I hope I can call you that I am not blaming Raman for the lack of intimacy here, but yes I am not a fan of his lets do it to have a baby mantra, why should a couple not enjoy sex just for the sake of it? Is the baby making only purpose of the act? Which woman would want to only be considered a baby making machine and not desired by him aside from that aspect ?I have not blamed the episode or the slot last night rather written them talking about sex in this one was something amazing and unexpected.

You mentioned some instances where Ishita never backed off when Raman wanted to get physical with her but was hindered at the right time by countless haddis...So, was Raman deliberately getting intimate with her only when he wanted the haddis to interrupt them? As you said there would have been number of nights where the couple was undisturbed...Why was it only Raman who should have made a move on those nights? I have always found the excuse that Ishita is inexperienced in this matter, lame...I don't think any girl, before marriage, will attend coaching classes for it or should have a trial n error...And moreover, Ishita is that wife who became bold and sensuous exclusively for her husband, twice, that too at a time when they did not confess their love in words...So, what was stopping her from taking a step after having admitted that they love each other deeply?So, does that mean that Raman is not appealing as a man to Ishita? Very recently the two times she made an attempt was at a a time when he was under the hypochondriac effect and that is known to her ... also she have seen Raman getting frustrated when they were interrupted always... So, for me both are to be blamed for an inconsistent libido...

Have I said Raman chooses those moments where they could be interrupted or that he is aware that they would be interrupted beforehand? No, I havent just that once the moment passes over there' no follow up and there have been only a handful of times they have tried to get intimate and it isnt for a lack of time or oppurtunity, fine they got interrupted when they did, but what about those nights when there was no interruption? And where has Ishita stopped you yourself said she became bold and recently she wore that nighty and practically threw herself at Raman was that her stopping? I dont think so.

But I agree with the last line - they both need to take the blame for the funk in their sex life, since they havent even had a decent convo regarding the same and just saying lets have a baby isnt a conversation

A lot of them (including me) are unhappy with Ishita-Doc convo...But as u said, even if I assume that it was just Ishita's attempt to avoid the possible very direct questions that can be expected from a fertility specialist, I will not be happy 100%...later she was badly hurt by the rudest words that a woman can hear, from none other than her husband's ex and mother of his two kids...But from her words out of frustration (to her sisters), it is also clear that the very emotional bonding she boasted of to share with Raman was also shaken by a third person's words... All the love, care and concern he gave her as a wife, almost went down the drain when she said that, to him, she was just a governess for his kids...For not even once was she shown to be unhappy when Raman said about taking the next step for a baby(when there are a lot of instances also where he made her desirable as a woman too)... but instead even she was instantly ready to do IT just bcoz Ruhi wanted a bro or sis because according to her they have already passed that stage where they physically desire each other...So, why all of a sudden, this change in thought process...

Ishita has as per me not started being ready to do it just for Ruhi, had that been the case she would have rebuffed Raman the times they were interrupted and they wouldnt have had to stop cause of xyz person or situation. Ishita was even very happy to go to the hotel suite on the night of the earthquake and this was before Ruhi' I want a sibling mantra, it was when Raman wanted them to have a special night, he even asked her before that is she ready for it in clear words and she had said a yes in precise terms so how can it be said Ishita wants to have a baby and that is the only reason she is now fine with having sex with Raman or thinking about it? Also her not being happy when Raman says lets have a baby is her fear - she has been diagnosed with blocked fallopian tubes and chances are there they can have a baby but they are slim - the apprehension she has then is fearing the failure that they can possibly have and if that happens Raman would be hurt wouldnt he? Shouldnt that matter to her

So, for me the episode was just about some awful dialogues and bad execution...The execution, to show that a happy sex life is needed for a healthy husband-wife relation, is quite disappointing... I say specifically the episode because Cv's do have the habit of giving good episodes too...

And today I guess they are going to do almost the same with Raman...Anyways if at all (keeping least hopes) the Cv's aim is to transfer the frustration building up inside IshRa to end up in a fiery passionate intimacy then I only hope that it should just not be that...There should also be some very serious sensible convo to overcome the points that put their emotional bonding also in question just by the words of an outsider...

Not meant to offend in any way , just my POV...

No offence taken and while I find them dwindling too, this time I am happy that they decided to address this issue at last

Originally posted by: mayasundar

Hi Aani,

I have not seen the episode but I like the way you are thinking.