Ishita was dressed up, she wasn't sure she liked it. Dressed in this super trendy neon citrus sari with touches of coral and pink, her hair pin straight and parted on one side Ishita for once felt like a bomb shell. So this must be what Shagun felt when she dressed to the nines on a daily basis. Like she ruled the world. Putting a bit more effort on a daily basis was suddenly a part of Ishita's do to list. She was going to take Raman's breath away if it was the last thing she did.
And the minute she snapped back to reality and found herself in unknown company with no one she recognised but Subbu's mother, in that moment she felt that she she was in Azkaban and the dementors were approaching - to suck her soul away.
It all happened in a flash. Ishita was sitting in a quiet place for a moment, minding her own business and the next she was pulled off her seat and pushed right into the middle the room. Her offender pushed away with such force that she could have been flung onto the same floor if the offender hadn't held onto her.
And Ishita saw red. She could tolerate people gossiping about her to an extent. But she couldn't ever tolerate someone misbehaving with her. She couldn't tolerate someone or anyone insulting her mere existence by pushing her around as if she were their play thing. Ishita Iyer was a self made woman who had come a long way on her own. She hadn't been backed by her family, friends or any any connections not had she gained her identity by marrying. She was her own person before she was someone's wife daughter or mother. And Ishita Iyer respected that the most. Her self respect. Without which she would fail to look to look at herself in the mirror every morning. Her self respect was her armour and anyone attempting to hurt it called for war.
Clenching her teeth and preparing to sucker punch any male chauvinist right in his face for attempting to assault her. And when her perpetrator turned out to be no one other that Subbu's mother Ishita rolled her eyes, cracked her neck muscles and begged murugan for strength.
"Tumhari himmat kaise hui," screeched the wench and Ishita on Ishita's covered her ears. Trust this woman to be as loud as a banshee.
"How dare you instigate my daughter-in-law?" she screeched.
Ishita visibly rolled her eyes mentally asking the woman to skip to the next line. She laughed at her own thought which the woman took as a clear sign of impudence.
"Main Akka se kyun kahungi ki Jiju ko talaaq de de."
"Iski himmat to dekho," fumed the older woman.
And she aimed for Ishita's head in a fit on anger - to hold Ishita by her hair and speak right into her face.
Ishita saw her hand move, she had predicted her next move. And the humor and tolerance turned into rage. This woman had ruined her future. This very woman hadn't allowed her Ishita to marry her son. Ishita was okay with that. Instead she was truly happy that she didn't marry this woman's son. She was thankful to every power in the universe that it saved her from a miserable life. What Ishita couldn't get was why this woman never let Ishita live her own life. Neither had she allowed Ishita's to marry into her family and neither had she allowed Ishita to move on.
Tonight, she needed no Raman no support. Nor did she need anyone else. She was done being down by the liked of Devyani Reddy. She was done being her play thing. She was done humoring. She was done tolerating the woman who neither deserved love nor tolerance. Ishita was no village bumpkin. She was no prime time television bahu who would tolerate this nonsense without a word. Ishita was a woman scorned. Not once but time and again. Ishita was that porcelain doll that was flung across time and again. She was the girl who was respected by all, that very twenty one year old who had lost her stand and family due to this very woman. Ishita wasn't Ishita Iyer anymore. She didn't belong to any conservative community. She had ko links to this woman standing infront of her. And that woman deserved no respect from Ishita's end. She was no elder, instead she was a pitiful, vengeful old hag for whom Ishita wouldn't take the blame for any longer. She was done crying. She was done weeping. She was done pretending to be the docile and fragile Ishita. If Ishita had the nerve to go against her very husband and in-laws then there was nothing on this very universe or even in this Galaxy that could keep her from losing her calm in front of this woman.
She was Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla and the very name Raman Kumar Bhalla brought in fear when mentioned. She was Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla. Ishita. If Raman was bad, Ishita as his wife was worse. Ishita Iyer was long gone. Ishita had let go of the girl who hadn't known to love, respect or even appreciate herself. This Ishita had the strength and perseverance to face so much more than a nagging sixty year old pissed off with her life choices.
Devyani Reddy had stopped being a source of humor. Something to be laughed at. She had turned into this tumor that had to extracted from Ishita's life. Removed before it affected and took control of Ishita's. And Ishita would do it now. And Ishita would need no one but herself to do this.
"Tameez se. Badtameezi par hum bhi uth sakte," she said as she caught the older ladies hand mid air and flung it onto the ground.
Devyani looked visibly shocked at Ishita. It had taken her a second to compose herself.
"Beighairat (dishonorable) toh tum ho Ishita. Apna toh basne wala ghar apni phuti kismat ki vajah se thod diya. Par ek shadi shuda aadmi se shadi karna, woh kaha ki izzat ki bat hui. Tumne apni zidd aur bache ke liye ek aise aadmi se shadi kar li jisse iss baat ki parvah bhi nahi ki uski biwi aur beta kisi ghair mard ke saath rehte the. Tumne kisi ka ghar thoda, Ishita. Raman se shadi ke liye tumne ek aisi chaal chalayi jisse sab kuch tumhara ho gaya. Tumhari beti. Raman. Aur tum society se bhi bach gayi. Aur iski saza? Iski saza Raman ka beta bhugat raha hai. Aur aj tum, tum voh mere Abhilan ke saath karna chahti ho. Kis baath ka badla lena chahti ho tum. Ki maine Tumhari Shadi thodi. Ki maine Subbu ki shadi Nalini se karwa di. Ki Subbu aage bad raha hai aur tum ek aadmi ke saath ho jo jisse tumhari parvah toh door, jisse tumhari shakal bhi dekhna manzoor nahin. Mein toh vahi soch rahi hoon ki kis aadmi se tum kuch mahine pehle talak maangne wali thi. Jis aadmi ne apni pehle biwi ko tumhare upar chuna. Aaj tum ussi aadmi ke saath yaha palat ke aayi ho. Socha kya tha tumne ki tum yaha aaogi aur sabko dikhao gi ki Ishita sabse acchi hai. Ishita ne ek rich aadmi ko fast liya. Ishita ne ek aise parivaar mein shaadi kar liya hai jo usse devi ka darja deta hai. Deta hoga Ishita. Your in-laws must love you to the moon and back. You may have the perfect life. The perfect family. The perfect kid. The perfect husband. Even when you dared to have none of it. Even if you were destined to have none of it. But do you know what matters? What matters is that no one wants you here. Tum Hum sab ke naam pe ek kala kalank ho. Tum humare naam pe ek daag ho
And to that Ishita threw her head back and laughed. She then ruffled her hair and seated herself on the nearest seat she could find and dared the older lady to continue.
"You clearly know more about my life than I do," she said in a tone which shared no warmth but pure disdain. The sweetness was overdone as if she was mocking the older woman. "I mean, obviously tumhari list thodi zyada hogi and by the time I hear about the last seven years of my life from your point of view, time to lagega na. Aur vaise bhi your level of bakwaas is never ending. Raman theek kehta hai. Tumhe toh Neta banna chahiye. Jitni surerity se aap apni kahani pesh karti ho, I almost believed you, if it wasn't for the fact that this is my life aur tumhe mujpe koi haq. Na is ghar pe, na is parivaar pe. Yaad hai, Shagun ne tumse kya kaha tha - just because Vandita Akka is married to your son and Bala jiju by sheer bad luck happens to be your biological son doesn't really give you the right to rank yourself with us. Common knowledge hai, jab charity cases start crossing their boundaries toh kisi ko accha nahi lagta. Then we cut off their roots and leave them to dry out."
Ishita now stood up, dusted the imaginary specks of dust off her saree and continued, "Tumhara and mera stand ek nahi hai. And mein is mukam par kissi ki beti bankar ya kisi ki patni bankar nahi pahunchi hoon. Mein yaha khud apni bal pe yaha pahunchi hoon. Kyunki main tum nahi hoon na, mujhe har subah meri shakal ayine mein dekhna accha lagta hai. Aur tum lagti kaun ho meri. Tum lagti kya ho humari. Tumhari parivaar se mera kya lena dena that you barge into my life time again. That you attempt to disrupt it all over again. That you dare enough to visit my in-laws and badmouth me. That I have feel apologetic that they have to tolerate you and your bull shit time and again. Who am I? Tum kehna kya chahti ho. That I married a divorcee? Yes, I did. And what can you do about it? That Raman divorced Shagun because he wanted to marry me. You're wrong. Raman divorced Shagun because their separation was legal for years but their divorce was in the courts pending for a long time and the both of them wanted to move on. That Shagun lived with her lover? So? That Raman never told me that he had a son? It didn't matter to me if he had a son? It was none of my business. That I married Raman for Ruhi? Sabko pata hai that I married Raman because of Ruhi. That my in-laws adore me? I don't think so, but they love he unconditionally. That Raman obsesses over his ex wife? Tum janti kya jo mere pati ke batein mein? That mein Raman ko taras dene wali thi? Kab? Kyunki maine aise faisle ke barein mein socha tak nahi? Tum janti kya ho mere barein mein? Tum janti kya ho meri beti ke barein mein. Kuch toh sharam karo. Buzurg ho. Behave like one. Because here's a hard cold fact Mrs Devyani Reddy - you're nothing but a joke. Act all high and mighty as you can but you fail to be both loved and respected. Your son's don't look at you in the eye. Your own husband can't tolerate you and your bills hit. No one wants your presence. You're nothing but a pain who forces it's way in our lives. You're that dramatic quotient that upon who's appearance everyone switches the tv channel. Aur tumne kya kaha tha? That I was plotting and planning to break your son and his wife. Here's the fact. I don't care. Aur mujhe kya milega by breaking them apart. Tumhara beta? Voh toh mujhe chahiye hi nahi. Agar hamari shaadi ho bhi leti, voh rishta too jata. How can you trust yourself to be with someone who weighed your against an assumption? Tumhara bakwaas, beta, bahu and sab kuch tumhe mubarak ho. Because I want nothing to do with you. And agli baar, aise bakwaas karne se pehle dus bar soch lena because it won't be any Raman you'll be dealing with. It will be be me and you, face to face. One mother against another and don't make me regret my momentarily consideration to marry your son more than I already do."
And with that Ishita walked away. Her fingers quivering. Not in fear but in pride. She had been disrespectful, yes. Very. And the fact that she had lost her last bit of innocence tonight. She had nothing left of her past. Nothing to hold her back. Nothing would hold her back from achieving what she wanted.
And if she wanted Raman. She would get him. She needed him. His presence and his company. Not his love. Love was what the weak used to reassure themselves that everything was fine and that. The same way unicorns pooped do noughts and farted rainbows. She knew that none of it was true. That she needed no love. She needed company. That she needed to quit acting like a shy almost 60 year old Virgin spinster. The world was no better place. Love only illusioned one of its goodness when she for one knew that there was none.
There were no happily endings.
They were happily ever afters.
They were no prince charming.
There were just just people struggling to live by each day.
And she?
She was one of them.
A part of the crowd.
She had nothing left to lose.
She had nothing to turn back to.
No family. Past. Ties. Whatsoever.
All she had was her husband and daughter.
And they were all that mattered.
No more would she let things that didn't matter to her pull her.
No more would she live by rules put forward by others.
She was her person.
And no one could and no one would ever change that.
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Jodha Akbar
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