This SS is my version of the truth revelation of Arnav's contract marriage. After he tells Khushi on the terrace, the real reason for forcing her to marry him, she tells him her side of the story. They both go home. And everything that follows... And NO! It is not a tragedy... 😉
Note : The paragraphs in italics are Arnav and Khushi thinking to themselves.
Part 1
Ruswa hui hain
tanhaiyan,
dard ki yeh gehraiyan,
phir chahe dil woh mastiyan,
zubaan par basi bas khamoshiyan...
Khushi stood by the poolside gazing at the stunning sky adorned with tiny twinkling stars. But today their illumination could not brighten up her wounded heart. She gazed at them dazedly. Her body limp with no strength to even blink her eyes. Even her usually beautiful long tresses lacked luster today. They wedged around snugly to her thin frame. The wind seemed to be experiencing her inner turmoil because it stayed as still as death.
The past 24 hours had shook her to the core... Nothing in life had ever affected her to this extent. Not when Arnav had insulted her time and again about being a gold digger. Not when he had sent her to the almost crumbling building. Not when she had seen him getting engaged to Lavanya after their scorching almost kiss. Not when he had left the sentence 'farak padta hai kyon ki...' incomplete. Not when she pondered over telling Arnav about Shyam's truth. Not when he had blatantly flirted with her. Not when he had kissed her cheek. Not when he had forcefully married her, shattering all her dreams. Neither all the times he insulted her, emotionally abused her, disgraced her, annoyed her or hated her. She had never-ever felt so broken. A sudden surge of anger took over, her whole body trembling with fury.
How could he? Hey Devi Maiyya, how could he think that I could ever do this to Di? How could he think of me to be so vile as to being in a relationship with a married man? He forced me to marry him only because of his atrocious belief that Shyam and me were together? All this while I kept wondering that what had I done to deserve his hatred. I had only but ever loved him. Yes. I loved him with all my heart. I don't even know since when but I did. Even in my hatred there was love for him, even in my tears there was joy for him, even in my anger there was concern for him. Was he this blind to not see all that we had been through? And he still believed Shyam? How could he still believe that? Oh God! How could he believe that I could ever love Shyam and try to destroy Di's life? I love his family like my own. I could go to any extent to protect them and that's what I did. And he just crushed me like I was a non-living thing. He did not have the damned guts to ask me if it was the truth or not. He did not even bother to verify the facts. Did he not remember that I was once engaged to someone named Shyam? Why did he break my heart so ruthlessly. I can't believe he could even think of me as such a cheap woman. I feel disgusted.
And slowly tears trickled down her soft cheeks. A moment later she just dropped down on the floor sobbing hysterically. The pain finally engulfing her entire heart. All the past, all the hurt coming crashing down on her like hail. It pierced through her already broken heart. The shattered pieces could never be put back together again. She cried till her tears dried up, she cried till she could wail no more, she cried till she could feel pain no more. In fact, she cried till she could feel no more. A cold shiver ran down her body. The warmth pumping heart, constricted icily. She looked up and wiped the remaining traces of tears slowly. She sat there for a long while hugging her legs to her fragile body, staring at the reflection of the sky in the pool. Thinking nothing. Feeling nothing. Seeing nothing. She did not realize for how long she sat there aimlessly.
Had he completely forgotten that he had always saved me from falling? Had he forgotten what we shared before Jiji's wedding? Was every moment, every look, every touch, every kiss fake? Did I never mean anything to him or did he never care enough? All the flirting, the possessiveness and jealousy that he showed, was it just for winning the trophy? All those eye-conversations meant nothing to him? One misunderstanding and he threw me away like a ragged doll. He broke my heart every chance that he got. I spent sleepless nights while he slept serenely. Wait actually he is still sleeping. Because if he would have been awake, he would have seen the reality. The real face of that scumbag Shyam. He should have seen that Shyam had destroyed all their lives and entangled them into such a complicated web, that it would have to be cut through to save all of them. Breaking all of them apart was the only way out.
She felt the air around her change. She felt him close-by. His gaze boring into her. As always she sensed him before seeing him. But this time she did not feel her usual 'dhak dhak'. In fact she felt nothing. The coldness of her heart had spread across her body now. It was getting difficult for her to move. She stiffly got up from the floor, gathered her fallen dupatta and walked steadily towards the french windows. She slid the doors quietly and walked through them ignoring Arnav, behaving like he never existed. She slowly pulled down the Salman Khan poster that had adorned the wall to irk him. Then walking towards her side of the bed she pulled down the stars that shined down on her in those cold nights. She took a small stool and perched over it to bring down the tinkling wind-chimes that were as noisy as she was. Now the room looked like him. Deserted, devoid of any colour, lacking life. She gathered all these things in a bag and kept it at a corner. While walking past him, she looked up for a second into his warm caramel eyes. 'Guilt', she saw guilt, despair, sorrow, agony, anger in them. 24 hours ago her heart would have cried to see so much sorrow in this man's eyes. But now, it was too late. Too late for any emotion to overwhelm her. She hauled her eyes away from his and slowly walked out of the room, leaving him alone. Alone once again.
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Arnav dragged himself into the room dreading to face her. How could he, after what he had done to her? The biggest mistake of his life, the worst decision that could cost him his life. A few hours ago, in a fit of rage he had blurted out the truth of their contract marriage to Khushi. Yes, finally he had told her the goddamn truth! He had seen anger in those hazel eyes, which turned to hurt instantly. For a moment he thought he had made a huge mistake, but the flashes of what he had seen on the terrace struck him like a fire bolt. He had walked away from her that instant.
When she had divulged her side of the story later, he had still doubted her every intention. He had seen her with Shyam on the terrace hugging him, she had told him to leave Di. He had to save his Di's life. He kept thinking about it while driving to Shantivan. Did she say she was engaged to Shyam? Ohhh Shit! The moment he had reached home and Khushi had gotten down from the car, it had hit him hard in the head. His heart thudded dangerously in his chest almost about to explode. He remembered the day Khushi had cried on his chest because her fiance had hurt her. That was the day she was introduced to Shyam and she had run away. She had told him a while later about her broken engagement. He dialed a few numbers while driving through the streets of Delhi as he dared not go home. And very soon Arnav Singh Raizada realized that he had made an irrevocable mistake.
What have I done? I hurt her. I literally broke her loving heart. She hid the truth to save Di from getting hurt and I thought such despicable things about her. How could I trust that hideous Shyam? Why didn't I check on the truth earlier? I have been such a fool to damage such a pure soul. She is Khushi, my Khushi. Or is she still? Have I lost her forever? I crushed all her dreams of a fairytale marriage. I was never the prince she dreamed of. I was always the beast. Damn it! My love for Di blinded my love for her. But was it love? Because I would have trusted her if it was. My emotions for her have been so weak compared to hers. She has always spread happiness around me and my family. But all I gave her was pain. How did she bear all those cold nights by the poolside? How did she tolerate my anger, grabbing, pushing when she was innocent all the while? She loved me. Yes, she loved me to such an extent that she kept questioning the reason for our marriage without complaining about the hurt. But do I really deserve her love?
Arnav drove aimlessly through the empty streets of Delhi till late night. He could not gather the courage to face her. How was he going to apologize to her when he could never forgive himself? But he had to see her, touch her, soothe her pain. He had hurt her enough and now it was time to repent. To beg for, if not forgiveness then a chance to make it up to her for the rest of his life. To shower her all the happiness that he had taken away from his Khushi. But did he even deserve that chance? His SUV came to a standstill outside the huge gates of Shantivan. He slowly trudged up the staircase to his room. Fear overcoming his entire body as to see the hurt in her eyes again. He walked into his room to see it empty. Panic mounted through his entire frame. He ran a desperate hand through his hair and looked outside the windows. There she sat on the floor, curled into a ball, staring at the pool water aimlessly. Her body stiffened immediately and he realized that she knew he was here. He saw her swiftly get up and walk through those gigantic windows avoiding looking at him. He looked at her tear streaked face and his heart twisted in his chest.
There are no more questions. Only statements. I have lost her. I have hurt her to the point till she cracked and crumbled to pieces. I would never ever be able to join all those pieces together. And even if I did they would leave those ugly scars of my repulsive behavior towards her. But she is my life. How will I survive if I let her go? Damn it! Even now I am thinking about only myself. What about her happiness? All I have ever given her is pain, hurt and regret. She deserves better. She deserves to be as happy as she makes others. I can't see the pain she is going through. My every action is going to haunt me forever. But how will I breathe without her? She has become the center of my existence, the purpose of my being. No! No! I can't let her go. I will make it up to her. Every single day, every single moment I shall beg her for forgiveness. Mend her broken heart with all the love I have. Fill up those scars with all my heart and soul. From now on, I shall live only for her.
He saw her pulling out the poster of Salman Khan, the stars and the wind-chimes. The loud noise of the wind-chimes echoing through his hollow heart and then going to a complete standstill. Dread and silence filled up his room. What was she doing? No, she could not take all this happiness away from him. He hated his barren room now, colorless, lifeless. Just like it had been before Khushi had entered his life. A machine without a heart, which was now on the verge of freezing. He saw her petite body walking slowly to a corner to put her things in her bag and she turned towards the door. Just when he thought of holding her hand to stop her she looked at him directly into his eyes. His heart stopped beating with what he saw there. Or actually what he didn't. There was no happiness, no smile, no fear, no anger, no hurt, no pain. There was nothing in them. Just hazel orbs boring into his defeated ones. She pulled her gaze away from him, and he saw her retreating back walk out of his door leaving him in the deathly silence of his room. Silence once again.
Kaatonsi chubhti yeh
dooriyan,
jaane yeh kaisi majbooriyan,
yaad aati woh shaitaniyan,
par milti hai sirf khamoshiyan...
Index:
PART 1 - Above
PART 2 - Page 11
PART 3 - Page 22
PART 4 - Page 31
PART 5 - Page 44
PART 6 - Page 54
PART 7 - Page 64
PART 8 - Page 74
PART 9 - Page 84
PART 10 - Page 94
PART 11 - Page 106
PART 12 - Page 120
PART 13 - Page 129
Epilogue - Page 141
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