Hello all, this is my first one shot in my own thread and I'm too excited. 😃 First of all, I'd like to thank Simi (or Keanufan as you all know) for coming up with such a great idea. I don't know whether I had satisfied what she was expecting *nail biting*. Hope she likes it and you all too.
||Sequel to It's not good-bye||
Anurag's POV:
I knocked the door and eagerly waited for Neha to open the door. Though she did, I hadn't had the happiness that I should actually have. Suddenly, a strangeness and disappointment surged through me. Something was missing.
I know what is missing. Taani's smile when she opens the door for me.
She came out and hugged me. I let out a weak smile and hugged back half-heartedly.
"Come in", she invited and went inside without waiting for me.
This again gave me disappointment. Taani would not go inside until I enter the house.
What am I thinking? I came for Neha, the one I love, and I had left Taani. Why should I think about her now? I now have what I really wanted.
I tried to leave all the thoughts of Taani at the door step. But I know I'll fail.
I entered the door with my suitcase, left it near and sat on the couch. Neha was flipping through the channels and started to watch her favorite program on TV.
I was not comfortable. I tossed from my position and tried to make myself comfort. Still there was something lump inside my throat and I felt hard to swallow it.
"Taani'Sorry, Neha, can you get me some water?" I asked her, so that, she might know that I'm not well and she could help me get through it.
"The water purifier is behind the kitchen counter", she pointed the kitchen with her remote control without turning her face from the TV.
I sighed and went to take a glass for myself.
I don't know where these thoughts come from. Though I hate to admit, I felt it irresistible. Taani would have almost run to the kitchen to get me water before I could finish telling her that I need water.
I gulped the water down, closed my eyes and leant on the counter and breathed heavily to get out of this.
Flashback:
"Taani, my dream has come true. I'm going to live with Neha. Hope you'll take care of yourself and find one for you."
"As I promised you, I'm still supporting your decision and I'll break our marriage for your happiness".
End of flashback.
Though the happiness and easiness she had when she was young was not there on her words, she somewhat managed to blurt it out.
Her shock, disappointment and the way she went numb lingered before my eyes. What she'd be doing now?
Would she be thinking of me? At least to curse me that I left her? No, she would never curse me.
The relationship we shared was pure. Though, I married her when I don't know what a marriage is, I had never regretted what my parents had made me go through.
The minute, I met Neha, I had an urge to sleep with her. She was that arousing in her glamorous attire. But I've been living with Taani in the same house for years. But until now I didn't even looked at her with a seducing look. Or is it because Taani was a decent girl?
I snapped myself into reality. What I was thinking? Am I thinking that the girl I came for is not decent enough?
I shook my head and left to the living room. Neha was still drowned into her world. I flopped on the couch and leaned my head back.
The ceiling above me was spinning. I shook my head again and tried to make myself better with Neha.
I tried for this and have worked hard for this all these years. Now, I have it and why my conscience is not happy with it? I let out a huge sigh now.
Neha still didn't pay any attention to me and that made me fume. "Neha, could you please off the TV? I'm having headache!" Though I wanted to say it lightly, it came out the other way.
Without looking at me, she replied, "Go and sleep upstairs, Anurag. It is not fair to ask me to switch off the TV".
I had no words to reply. Is she the same Neha who treated me lovingly when I gifted her, a pair of diamond earrings? No, she's not.
"Or at least talk with me, Neha. I'm not feeling comfortable", I uttered bitterly.
"What's wrong with you, Anurag? Can't you leave me alone for sometime? Just because of you, I missed an important dialogue. Why are you behaving weird?" she threw the remote and strode to her room.
I thought how I used to snatch the remote from Taani and watch the programs without saying a sorry. She would be all calm and see whatever I watch.
I slapped my forehead and went behind Neha. "Neha, wait."
She was in her bed already.
I went near her and gently turned her to face me.
"What?" She spat the words.
Sudden anger surged through me when she asked that way. I retorted, "Nothing."
I sank in the bed next to her and thought sleeplessly.
I've never been used to this kind of treatment. Nobody treated me this way. Even Taani. I had left her all alone. But she didn't throw even an angry look at me.
How she's so matured and clear? From where she got all these patience and tolerance?
Without my own conscious, I blurted, "Taani was always adorable".
"What did you just say?" Neha stormed up from the bed. Her nose flared in anger.
"What did I say? I said 'nothing'", I replied shrugging.
"No. After that", she pointed her index finger at me.
"I don't remember", I said without caring.
"Oh, really? You can't forget that witch, Taani, right?"
That was it. I jumped from the bed and held her neck tightly with my hand and threw my other hand to slap her. But I stopped and showed my index finger on her face, warning. "Don't ever call her that".
Neha, who was speechless by my actions, stood there numb. "Is she that important to you? For that country brute you are raising your hands at me?"
"Just stop it or get lost from here. You don't even possess the honor of calling her name. You got it, don't you?" I shouted at her and ran my fingers through my hair.
"Why should I go--?"
"Because this house is mine!" I cut her off. The moment she spoke the other way about Taani, she is not going to be mine anymore.
Taani has given me up for my happiness. For Neha. For our happiness.
Taani don't deserve any of this. Not even me. She in fact deserves someone better than me.
I fell on the bed holding my head and Neha should have stormed out of the house. I'm sure because the door downstairs was slammed shut.
I felt relieved in my heart. Was I waiting for her to go out of my life? I smiled to myself.
The moment I felt disappointed seeing Neha, I learnt that I was in love with Taani.
I rushed downstairs and opened my suitcase. I took the frame which had a picture of Taani and me.
I, without my knowledge, ran my finger over Taani's face. My eyes emerged tears and a drop fell on Taani's face.
I hugged the frame and fell on the floor flat. I sighed.
I hurt her. I hurt her badly. Will Taani forgive me if I go again? I would be standing like a loser before her. She would look at me like a stupid.
I stood up suddenly.
Whatever she reacts, I'm going to go to her. To my Taani. I'm ready to be slapped by her. I'd be happy if she humiliates me for me coming over again.
My hands trembled in uncertainty.
I looked at the frame and took a huge breathe and rushed towards Taani.
I reached the house and looked at the door that was wide open.
I hesitantly went in. I looked around to find the home calmer than usual.
I took a glance around the whole house to find nobody.
I climbed the stairs and my heart slowly climbed the temperature level in fear. My heart beat fast than usual and I slowly looked around.
Taani seemed to be nowhere. Fear crept up on my face and I was turning red.
I peeped into her room and found Taani standing at the same place where I left her.
The same place near window. I let out a relieved breath.
The same shock was visible in the way she stood facing outside the window clutching its sill.
I walked to her and thought of calling her name out. But I had no strength to tell her name. So, I kept my hand on her shoulder slowly.
It took about a minute for her to turn. I know she must have felt me when I touched her. The furrowing of her brow told me that she knew it was me. Tears had run down her cheek. Her face was dry and her red shot eyes told me that she has been crying since I went.
"Taani'", tears started to stream down my cheeks.
She quickly brought her hands to my face and wiped the tears. "Wha... What happened, Anurag? Did you left anything?" her face was filled with concern and tension. I don't know what I did to her to get such love filed heart for myself.
"Yes. Yes, I left something' Something that is more important' to me", I said as I fought with words to come out.
She knew it is not just a shirt or a phone or a file or anything that is worth some money. She knew it is something more. Her face told me that.
"What' is 'is it?" she stammered.
"It's you Taani. I left you", I hugged her tightly and cried my heart out. She hugged me back after few minutes and her body shook so hard that I came to know how much she missed me in these last few hours. She clutched my shirt tightly like she is not ready to leave me again.
Chaahenge Tumhe Bas Tumhari Baat Karenge
Ab tumse mohabbat hum sanam din raat karenge
I learnt how much it is hard to live without you and how hard it was for me not to think about you. I thought I was in need of something else. But now I'm clear about what I want and I'm going to love you, love you day and night.
Dil ko tumse pyar hai kitna lafjo mein mushkil hai keh pana
Tumse kayam jaane tamanna in saanson ka aana jaana
Only I know how hard it was to frame words when I wanted to tell what I was feeling now. I know how much I struggled to call your name. I also learnt that my system of breathing totally depends on you. I now remember how I forgot to breathe when I didn't found you at home downstairs.
Aankhein jhuk jaati hain aaye humko sharam
Tumse kaise kahe haal-e-dil sanam
She looked up at me and realized what she's doing now. She shyly took her hands off my shirt and looked down. Her cheeks were red burnt. She again looked at me and that told me how much her heart felt when I left her in the middle of our love journey.
Khwaabon mein bhi tum hi se mulakat karenge
Ab tumse mohabbat hum sanam din raat karenge
I looked intently at her and that must have told her that even in my dreams I'll meet her only. That no one can ever replace her. That no one can ever even go near her own qualities. I badly wanted her to understand that I'm now free to love her all the time. All the day and all the night.
Saari duniya pass thi apne sirf tumhari ek kami thi
Chu ke tumko pighal rahi hain in hothon pe barf jami thi
When I went to Neha, she was mine. The house was mine. The whole appliances were mine. I thought the whole things around me are mine. But somewhere in my heart I learnt something is missing. Within sometime, I realized what I'm missing.
I cupped her face by my palms and slowly lifted her face to meet my eyes. I lowered my face to hers and touched her lips with mine. I seriously wanted to teach her what my heart has for her. To break the hesitant and modest that was standing between us all these years. At this moment it came up to my lips and was stagnated. And I broke it.
Aaya kaisa sama aayi kaisi ghadi
Chain jaane laga bekaraari badhi
"I want this moment to stay forever", she told what she tried to tell during the kiss. She hugged me again and started to look at the moon through the window. I hugged her back, smoothed her hair that was flowing on my chest and promised to myself that I'll love her day and night.
That's how it end up like *looks nervous*. I have a very poor hindi knowledge 😭 and chose this song with the the help of the English translation. I'm not sure how it fitted into the whole concept. Hope it at least worth a 'like' button.
Love,
Nafee.
Edited by azfee - 15 years ago
