Un-Res
What an exhilarating journey this little gem of a piece was---filled with joy, intense love and romance; as well as a poignant pathos so moving, I teared up quite a bit at times.
My apologies for such a delayed response😭 Each time I would read your comments, I wondered if indeed it is my story that you are commenting on. I would scroll up to read to confirm and then tear up a bit. I have said it before, but will still say it again, your comment has made me fall in love with my story. ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️
The very start was so beautiful---that quote by Rumi about the Sun and the Earth, and your note on the different natures of love. Rumi is one of my absolute favorites, BTW, love his poems and quotes. There is a mystic fervor in his writing, a deep, profound understanding of the universe that is so very moving. A tremendously wise soul.
Rumi - I simply love his poems and quotes, I had such a tough time in picking and choosing for this tale. As you said, they are so mystical yet so simple and beautiful and leave you with a slight sense of awe at the same time.
That subtle nuance you drew, between loving equally and equivalently, was superbly done. Indeed, striving to love someone equally as they love us, may be an exercise in futility. Different people love in different ways---what matters is that they give their all, their affection, devotion, faith and trust into the relationship. Talking of degrees of warmth is irrelevant as long as both parties are warm and snug in their cocoon of togetherness, no? 😉 😊
How true is that, most of us measure the love someone has for us in terms of our actions towards them (a reflection of a quote my mother oft says - ''Yadh bhavam thad bhavathi' - which could be loosely translated as ''As your thoughts, so your perception') but then when we are so different how can our love be the same or equal? As long the love is reciprocated to their best, it should be enough and as you rightly said, as long both the parties are snug and warm, why should the quantum matter?
The tale of SwaSan's bond, your lovely illustration of how their soul connect came into being from the time she was a 3 hour old infant, and he was a 5 year old pre schooler, was so, so achingly lovely. I teared up a bit there, when I read of little Sanskaar's enthralled reaction when baby Swara stroked him with her little fist. He obviously was too young to realize then, that she had cast a lifelong spell on him, had obtained complete dominion over his heart. But he knew that she was special, that there was this undefinable tie between them.
At five he was definitely too young to identify that emotion as love, but he knew that it was special. For Swara too, he must have made an impression, unknown to her, which is why she always sought him. Cosmic connect to maximum use (gives my burning heart a lot of peace considering the way it has been bludgeoned to death in the serial🤢)
And then, all through their childhood, Swara's possessiveness of Sanskaar and his things, her constant shadowing of his every step, was touching and a bit hilarious to read about. They were so evidently destined to be "childhood sweethearts"---their bond formed as playmates and companions in childhood, and maturing to a deep love as they grew into adolescence and adulthood. Except...it didn't happen quite in that expected, uncomplicated way.
Oh, it should have been a straightforward love story - affection growing to friendship and maturing to deep love, the foundation of which was laid almost the minute she was born. But then either life is not simple or we complicate matters😆
The Maheshwaris andGadodias themselves, the elders as well as Uttara, Lakshya, and Ragini, always felt that Swara and Sanskaar would land up together. They welcomed this, and eagerly looked forward to it, didn't they? God, how much I love all of them here! But Swara, as you so deftly put it, was scared of Sanskaar's deep, potent, selfless adoration of her. Would she be able to reciprocate this pure love with equal intensity? That thought must have plagued her, raised her hackles and put her defenses up a lot. Not to mention, her instinctive rebellion at the families' notion that she and Sanskaar were fated to be together.
Perhaps, she wanted to make up her own mind, wonder if she could make a definitive choice in the matter? I won't say I fully agree with her reservations in accepting a love as pure as what Sanskaar lavished on her. But the sheer beauty of your characterization, is that one can understand where she is coming from, even if one feels she was unreasonable (dare I say even a tad silly? 😛 😳) in feeling so.
Both the families not only felt that they would end up together, they actually wanted it. Sujatha even started planning the wedding 😆, which was another reason for Swara to get upset. She was going through those marvellous teenage years, where she is convinced that she can make better decisions, knows what is best for her and is sure that parents have old fashioned ideas. As I often say, "Parents improve with age, ours" It is as we grow older, from teenage to adult that we realise how wise our parents are. And she was a little scared of Sanskaar's love for her, though that would come a little later, and once she embarked on that path of rebellion she stopped listening to everyone and most importantly herself. So yes, she was being silly, if only she introspected her need for Sanskaar.
Sanskaar---My God, what do I say about this man? He loves with every fiber of his being, every last cell in his body, from the very marrow of his bones. And he does so unconditionally, selflessly, without expecting anything in return, just wanting Swara to be happy. It takes a very strong man to do that, and this is what separates the men from the boys. My heart ached each time you described how much Sanskaar's heart broke when Swara did not reciprocate his feelings, yet he kept loving her more and more, each time that happened. He had promised her he would always be there for her; be by her side to infinity and back. And even while she was avoiding him, kind of taking him for granted and distancing herself from him, he kept loving her, from the very depths of his being. You've really made Sanskaar's love so epic here, Nyna. A force of nature, no less. I fell a little more in love with his character after this! 👏 👏 👏
Sanskaar, he is unique , I truly cannot imagine someone like him in real life, to keep loving the person of your desire, despite being rebuffed all the time. And he was a man of his word, he promised to be her side and he would be, actually the title is for him - his is indeed a love like none other!
Sahil--well, I won't say too much about Mr Wood here. Hewn from the stoic, immovable Banyan he always would be, for me. So he was charmed by Swara, and she by him (however shallow and transient that emotion was). You put that so well, that his chief attraction in Swara's eyes was the fact that he was rather unacceptable to her family. It must have satisfied her latent desire for rebellion, for showing that she was charting an independent course, or making a stand for herself. She did seem to be quite taken aback when Sahil confessed his love to her, though she must have seen the signs coming. 😃 😆 So like Swara, to be rather confused. She loved Sanskaar even then, but was just too scared to admit it, and act upon her feelings. Sahil was an entertaining, convenient diversion, who never got too serious, or required too much seriousness from her, either! Which was why, despite her vague expectation that Sahil would propose to her on her birthday; she was quite relieved when he did not!
Sahil - does not need much to be said, I used his name, despite my disgust for deadwood that he is because I was too lazy to think up of another name. 😆😆. Swara's chief character trait is her confusion, she thought she liked Sahil but never stopped seeking Sanskaar's company, she was surprised to have him confess his love when everything he did reminded her of Sanskaar and how different the two were, she was relieved that he did not propose but is more upset that she had not met Sanskaar for the past three weeks. She truly did need a jolt to set her thinking😉
The epiphany she faced when she had that close shave with death, really opened her eyes. For a moment, I felt the truck driver was like Morgan Freeman, (playing God), from Bruce Almighty. 😉 I really loved that film, BTW.
That is a lovely movie, I am quite a fan of Morgan Freeman, loved him in the Bucket List and the Batman series (I have the DVDs of the trilogy and my brother and I have a Batman movie marathon quite frequently😆)
And again, I was in tears when Swara opened all those gifts Sanskaar had given her right from her 16th birthday. 9 years' worth of precious gifts, from her 16th to her 24th, each a deeply moving, heartbreaking symbol of his pure, eternal love for her. The double infinity bracelet, the charms he gave her every year after...and the most recent, 'SS' charm. It must have broken his heart, to think that the double S, would now stand for Swara & Sahil, rather than Swara and Sanskaar, as he'd always hoped and dreamed. But Sanskaar's love was so strong, so selfless, that he just wanted to see her happy, no matter what. And though he was heartbroken at the thought that she would not be with him, he tried to find strength and consolation in the thought that she would be happy with Sahil.
Of all the comments I have received, this makes me the happiest. To tell the truth, I was a little misty-eyed when I wrote this para, especially that letter, so when I know that your feelings were similar it makes me feel very satisfied as a writer.😳
I was so glad that Swara finally realized her own deep rooted feelings for Sanskaar. The fact that he was the first person she turned to, when she needed something. The fact that her thoughts kept revolving around him, to the extent that even when Sahil sang something, the images which sprang to her mind, were those of Sanskaar. The fact that though Sahil was jovial and smiled a lot, it was Sanskaar's dazzling, infrequent grins, that lit up her heart and made her smile, in turn. The fact that she wanted Sanskaar in her life, forever and always; and knew without a shadow of doubt, that he would fight and surmount any barrier to be by her side.
That epiphany of hers was so needed, her realisation that come what may, he was the only one she would want to be by her side and he would answer that call. She deluded herself for long, labelling her feelings as anything but love.😕
That climax scene, with Swara rushing over to the Maheshwari house, with the smiling, tacit blessings of her parents as well as Sujju, was intensely romantic, with your customary wit and humor. I felt I was right there 😳 , witnessing Swara's heartfelt confession of her love, and Sanskaar's ecstatic, and initially almost disbelieving response. Swara's wish that he had kissed her (like his brief kiss all those years ago on her 16th birthday), and her demand that he return the "borrowed kiss" with the stipulated rate of interest, was too good!! Let the kissing begin!! 😳 ☺️
That kisses condition was nice, was it not - after all those tears and regret and misery for both of them? Who cares about the quantum of kisses, it was one demand that thrilled both the payee and the payer and one that would be willing repaid 😃 And you must have had a smile too, so it should make up for those tears you shed🤗
Lovely work, Nynu. As I said before, it combined so many emotions and elements, and despite the pathos inherent in Sanskaar's (sort of) unrequited love for all those years; (well, not exactly unrequited, but at least, unrealized, unacknowledged, and un-acted upon by Swara); the resolution was so tremendously moving and sublimely happy!
And as I said above, reading this comment has made me fall in love with my story❤️
Loads of Love,
---Viji
Anupamaa
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