You only know what I want you to
I know everything you don't want me to
It was over.
She was gone.
"Tumhe kya laga tha Ragini...ki main tum se sach main pyaar karne laga hoon ? Ye soch bhi kaise liya tumne ? Pyaar toh door ki baat hai, mujhe tumhaare ehsaas se bhi ghin aati hai. Tumne socha bhi kaise that I'll forgive you, after everything you did to me, to my family? I never loved you. I never will."
He'd been fooling her the whole time and she hadn't even known for a second.
XXX
Of course she'd known.
She'd seen the hatred flash in his eyes time and time again...those beautiful eyes that she'd first fallen in love with. Though he would blink and it would be gone so quickly it was like it had never been there.
There were moments though...brief flashes of time when she felt that she'd managed to make him forget what she'd done...precious seconds when she thought that he saw not the monster he'd married, but the girl who loved him.
And then there were those moments...dearer still, when she looked into his eyes and glimpsed something that made her think that, just for a second, he loved her too. It was his eyes, wasn't it? The ones she'd fallen headfirst for, before she fell in love with the man himself. It was always something about his eyes.
The sparkle when he would laugh at her, with her.
The pain that seemed to echo her own, that touched depths of her heart that no one had even glimpsed.
The heat that blazed when he would press into her, as if he could burn into her very soul.
And then. The anger. The pain. The revulsion. The hatred. That stole the light in his beautiful eyes and turned them so dark that she could no longer see her reflection in them.
Only for a moment though.
Of course. It had always been his eyes. The ones she loved best, the ones she knew best.
Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
You think your dreams are the same as mine
He was free. He was happy. He was ecstatic.
Wasn't he?
Then why couldn't he stop thinking about her?
The line of her neck.
The curve of her back.
Her mouth. Her beautiful, poisonous mouth.
The shape of it. The feel of it.
The one that could spit venom one second, and utter the purest of benedictions the next.
The one that was capable of unimaginable cruelty, and of fathomless love.
The one that continued to haunt his dreams, long after she was gone.
XXX
Dreams. Nightmares.
She couldn't make out the difference anymore.
How did it matter?
It was always Lakshya. It had always been Lakshya.
It would always be Lakshya.
Lakshya looking at her, with the sun in his eyes. (Or maybe he was the sun. The moon. The stars. Everything.)
Lakshya pressing his face into her neck, running his hands through her hair. The hair he loved best when it was hanging loose. (Or maybe that was another one of her dreams, she couldn't tell anymore.)
Her beautiful, crazy Lakshya.
The one who thought she didn't know him. Didn't know his dreams.
The ones which had never been the same as hers.
And would never be.
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
He couldn't sleep.
She'd taken that away from him as well.
Of course she had.
Selfish, thoughtless, heedless Ragini.
Ragini, who pushed and pushed, who could never let things be. (Could never let him be.)
Ragini, who took, took, took, and took some more.
His wealth.
His happiness.
His sanity.
His body.
(His heart.)
XXX
Her heart hurt.
Or maybe it was just her chest.
After all, her heart couldn't hurt anymore could it?
It had already been broken so many times. Into so many pieces. All etched with one name.
(His name.)
Her heart didn't hurt anymore.
(It throbbed.)
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will
His heart.
Where had that come from?
She couldn't have his heart.
She'd taken everything else.
She couldn't have his heart as well. He wouldn't let her.
He couldn't let her.
(Because she already had it.)
XXX
Maybe it wasn't her heart.
(Her traitorous heart.)
Maybe it just hurt to breathe.
That made sense. After all, he'd stolen her breath the moment she'd set her eyes on him.
After everything she'd already given him, she'd give him her breaths as well.
And it was the simplest thing really. Out of everything she'd done.
Why hadn't she thought of it before?
Poison. Just a little mouthful.
(After all, she had so much of it in her already.)
Blackness. Oblivion. And then he could have her breaths as well.
(They had always been his anyway.)
I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
She wasn't breathing.
No. No. No.
She couldn't do this to him now. Not now.
Not after everything she'd done to him.
(For him.)
He wouldn't let her turn her back on him now. Not after she'd stolen his heart.
He wouldn't let her steal his breaths too.
(He wouldn't let her go.)
XXX
He wasn't letting her go.
Her stupid, stupid (beautiful) Lakshya.
What did he want now ?
He still didn't understand. He never would.
That she wouldn't (couldn't) let go if he kept holding her hand in his.
Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choice but I'd still choose you
"Haath chhodiye humara Lakshya. Let me go!!"
(Please don't let me go.)
"Chhod kar jaana chahti thi mujhe? Tumhe kya laga tha,that I'll let you go so easily?"
(I'll never let you go.)
"Aap yahi toh chahte the na Lakshya. Toh ab kya hua ? Jaane dijiye humein!!"
"Main chahta tha? Mrs. Ragini Lakshya Maheshwari, aapko kab se fikr hone lag gayi ki aapka Lakshya kya chahta hai ? Jab jee kiya, you blew into my life like a storm, and you took everything. My happiness. My sanity. My heart. And now that I have nothing left, you want to leave me. Leave us. Not done, sweetheart. I won't let you. I've never had a choice in any of this. But I still choose you. Do you hear me? I choose you."
(Please choose me too.)
"Aap mazaak kar rahe na Lakshya? Aap humara dil itni baar tod chuke hain...aur iska pagalpan toh dekho, phir dhadakne ki himmat kar raha hai."
(I will always choose you.)
"Woh meri dhadkanein hain Ragini, jine tum mehsoos kar rahi ho. Meri neend, mera chain, meri khushi churaate churaate, tumne mera dil kab chura liya...pata hi naha chala. I'm sorry maine tumhare saath khilvaad kiya, tumhara dil toda. I'm sorry mujhe samajhne main itni der lagi...nafrat karte karte pyaar ho gaya, aur tumhare pagal Lakshya ko pata hi nahi chala. Main janta hoon main tumhare pyaar ko deserve nahi karta...lekin you've always given me more than I deserve. Issliye ek aakhri baar himmat kar ke maang raha hoon... Mrs. Ragini Lakshya Maheshwari, kya app mujhe apna dil dengi ? Woh kya hai na, mera dil aur uski dhadhkanein aapke paas hain. Aap apna dil nahi dengi toh aapka Lakshya jee nahi sakega. I love you."
(I always will.)
"Aap humse woh cheez maang rahein hain Lakshya jo humare paas hai hi nahi...my heart was yours the moment I first set eyes on you. And I never got it back. I love you too. I always have."
(I always will.)
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will
Edited by StarshineHues - 9 years ago
Cricket
