DARK KNIGHT- A SwaSan FF- DELETED- AN- PAGE 1- PLS READ - Page 21

Originally posted by: foresight

loved both the past and present parts.

i can understand why sanskar believes it is laksh. he cannot see kavita as having played with him. but something make me feel that is so. i do not think anyone really saw her dead body. the drug i feel was only in her drink, meant for him and nothing was in his. the mother daughter duo played him well i assume for money at the bare minimum.

and then we come to the present. swara still drawing him in and yes him feeling repealed by it, because he hates and may be fears what she is bringing out in him. he tried to protect his sanctum and in doing so he exposed something that matters more to him. you have beautifully portrayed that change in the feeling when he wants to protect swara from laksh and even himself. how her innocence has pulled at him and how he fears what he has unleashed...though this may have been preciously what he once wanted, now that is the last thing he wants.

i wonder how he will try to step in and protect swara, i feel he will, because it will eat at him more the more laksh and ragini try to get swara.

cannot wait for the next one. 👏 👏 👏

Originally posted by: Nynaeve

Shru,

Another great chapter - the title (I am struck by the way it resonates of another word - fractals and also reflective of self repeating pattern that would play out in their lives - of love, betrayal and loss - albeit with different players and the continued cosmic connection references - when Swara was peering into the dark windows to the pink stone chamber, did Sanskaar feel that she was actually peering into his mind / soul ?)

So the identity of the vile woman and her cursed daughter are revealed - well the names were expected but the characterization - so aptly etched. So one question, is Kavita the innocent victim and is really dead or else...

The conclusion to this chapter - it was like the stage for the confrontations was set - and Sanskaar - reminded me of Mark Antony's soliloquy when he cited "Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war" (Julius Caesar - Act 3, Scene 1)

Nyna

PS: This is me after reading the chapter:(just substitute chapter for book)😊

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum

Res for chap 3 😊 you sure do under commit and over deliver Shru. ...👏 You said you'll try to update before Monday and here you are, updating Sat night. 🤗

Un-Res

So you are unveiling the mysteries of the past at a brisk pace, in this chapter. 😊 I somehow agree with Annapurna's judgement of Kaveri and Kavita here--though I guess you would reveal all only later. The whole dialogue between Sanskaar and Kavita, had her somehow behaving so coquettishly, not as a woman speaks to the man who loves her, and whom she loves, but more like a person bent on conquest, on entrapment. But I will be frank, I'm not sure if that's my prejudice coloring my vision, or its your marvelous writing creating subtle hints and moods for your readers to pick up. 😊 There was also that bit about the "past misunderstanding" she referred to (about Lakshya) while talking to Sanskaar. Wonder what that was about? 😛

Somehow, Shru, that whole drinking from each other's cup, Sanskaar believing that he got the drug meant just to put Kavita to sleep, whereas he got the fatal dose with which Lakshya wanted him killed, seems just too convenient. You know how I love to hate Lakshya, but my suspicions are on Adarsh here. The heir apparent, but chafing under knowledge that his younger cousin was so far superior to him in every respect. Perhaps he feared, that a palace intrigue, or his family's own desire to have the best possible Monarch at a difficult, challenging time, would make them discard him and crown a more worthy candidate?

Did he fear that Prince Sanskaar's popularity with the forces could lead to a coup type situation, with the army raising their preferred Prince to the throne? Whatever it was, I don't feel Lakshya has the motive or the resoluteness of character to carry out this plot. 😊 But the missing map and key are tantalizing indeed! I did mention in my comment on the last chapter, that I fully expect these to be found in the personal effects of one of the Royal family. My money is on Adarsh---and I feel Swara, perhaps, might discover them there? 😉

The next section--the interaction between the 4 leads, was again marvelously done. You took the basic theme from the serial and modified it to fit your historical setting. Shallow, impetuous, erratic Lakshya, getting fascinated by his intended's sister, because she is on the surface, light hearted and fun loving. He hasn't even bothered to get to truly know either of the girls yet!

Swara, poor girl, trying desperately to pull Ragini and Lakshya together, speaking about Ragini to Lakshya all the time. I loved that little bit about the flower incident, how Lakshya gives one to Swara, which pulls off Ragini's placid mask of cool reserve, and shows her anger and fury. Swara, poor girl, almost immediately walks up to give it to Ragini, without even realizing her sister feels so angry about it; and when she offers it to Sanskaar instead, he really hated the affection behind that gesture, how it made him feel, didn't he? His inner self probably felt happy at this small act of Swara's, but he didn't want to feel that way. But when he, continuing his charade of madness, flings the flower to ground and crushes it, Swara's hurt and accusing stare, wounds him too, makes him feel hurt too. So profound, Shru. Loved their connection here, the pull towards each other they feel without even desiring to. Swara, has already started suspecting that there is more to Sanskaar and his 'insanity' than meets the eye.

The last paras continued this realization of this almost mystic pull, on Sanskaar's part. Swara's sheer exuberance, her innocence and vivaciousness had such an impact on him. The joyous way she danced in abandon when soaked, laughed at herself, must have unlocked those softer emotions in his heart which he had kept locked away. He is feeling the intense pull of desire as well protectiveness for her, and is not happy now at having stirred the hornet's nest between the sisters and Lakshya, And he is really is angry at Lakshya for looking at Swara covetously. 😉

Eager to see where this goes next. Is Kavita still alive, hale and hearty and in hiding someplace? 🤢

Originally posted by: Vaibhi.

Wonderful Update Shru 🤗... I am really grateful to you that you are giving us such an amazing gift in the
form of a beautifully written story...
Sanskar character , his past ..his behavior ..everything is so interesting and Your writing made it easy to imagine ...
Ragini's jealousy is visible now ...
Swasan connection is also there which made the story just outstanding ...
Thank you for PM Shru...
Will wait for the next part

Originally posted by: .FairyDust.

Shru! 🤗

I just finished reading the last two parts and this is getting more intriguing by the day...

Coming to part 2 first, I loved how you described Ragini, I could totally imagine her with all that grace and elegance. And the way you brought out the difference between Swara and Ragini's personalities through their music 👏. Oh and I was quite intrigued with the pattern the 4 of them have fallen into, Swara and Ragini - Ragini and Sanskaar - Laksh and Swara and Then our prince and princess 😳 Prince Sanskaar, that sounds SO GOOD 😳!

And has it already been a year since Annapurna rescued Sanskaar from prison? 😲 How long have the Gadodias been with the Maheshwaris then? 😲

And now to chapter 3, So finally we know what happened to Sanskaar and Kavita! Oh god I do feel a twinge of pity at Kavita's fate but I can't bring myself to think what would have happened had Sanksaar drunk from the intended goblet 😕. And it's too early to say if it is Laksh or no, I have this feeling it wasn't him.

And needless to say I loved the whole garden scene! And when you mentioned the sprinklers, I knew what Sanskaar would do and he did just that 😳😆 And it was really easy to imagine THIS side of Sanskaar, the mad and childish one, all thanks to the discussion Anna, Lanny and me had on the group last night 😆😆! That Sanskaar is SO CUTE and I could so see him jumping and showing the exuberance of a little kid. 😳

And Swara, what do I say about this girl! You've captured her and her liveliness brilliantly in this part 👏 So she runs and stands in the water's path again, why am I not surprised? 😆 And ew Laksh is affected by this sight Swara 🥱. But the surprising thing is Sanskaar is too. 😉😳 And he has the urge to shield her from the lusty gaze of a certain other. 😉😳 The cracks in the walls Sanskaar has built around him seems quite evident to me. And our boy has NO idea that the chaos he is talking about has already begin and he is right at the center of it! 😉

And Ragini, she's one confusing and mysterious girl. As they say, the overtly quite and coy ones are usually the first to turn into the backstabbing ones. And this holds very true in Ragini's case.

I'm so intrigued by this chapter, eagerly want to see what Sanskaar has in store for Swara. Can't wait for the part when they have their first proper interaction and the scenes after that 😉

And as always, I could very well see the whole scene play out like a movie before my eyes and I loved what I saw!

Update soon Shru! Waiting! 😳

Lots of Love,

Yukthi.

Originally posted by: MusicAddict

Hi Shru! I've read both Ch2 and Ch3 but couldn't reply because of net issues. I ll surely give a detailed reply tmrw! Pakka promise. Really sorry. Trust me I started typing and it all vanished because the ADSL line went down. I ll reply to both of them tmrw for sure. Sorry once again! 😭

Originally posted by: tootiefrootie11

Hmm- Kavita- it was what I have previously written about Sanskaar and Kavita by allusion in FFs- a love from a young lad's perspective, who no matter how brilliant a statesman or solider, would have still been beset by the usual feeling that age inspires in the romance department I guess. And in that setting, I thought Kavita fit- she was brought up to be seductive and also she herself is very young and enamoured of the dashing Prince. Truth be told, it must be the show's fault as I had originally envisaged a more mature and shyer Kavita but that didn't fit for me and perhaps it's because the Kavita on the show so irritated and annoyed me as you know. For Sanskaar yes the loss of his honour was the main underlying feel there but he doesn;t know that. In his head he's lost the love of his life- when something gets snatched like that from you, you glamorise it I think and view it with rose tinted glasses. (Oh yes this part is completely true!) Time and circumstances have not tested their love so in his head she is sacrosanct and more so as his code of honour is so extreme that he feels that she died because of him and he failed there. Kaveri- her saying what she did made Sankaar consolidate his belief that it was Lakshya as like you say who else would it be as the alternative would have caused more shame so he is sure that Lakshya did that and at the same time prevented the elopement. Also, there is something of note in the dialogues by Kavita which refers to some further hidden facet concerning her and Lakshya 😉. (I went back & read the conversation & ewww my eyes! 🤢 Now is she gonna be two timing both the brothers here?🤢 But more than that one other thing caught my eye, how does Kavi know about Sanskaar's mission? Wouldn't such a matter be a high level secret?)

Ahhh yes Sanskaar can be harsh but we like that don't we? And here its a harshness that rebounds on the boy! I loved the and Sanskaar phase too- was hooked by VK in that time and only watched occasionally for him. I had seen part of the convo and it made me grin like mad to realise that you would later be reading this chapter with the madness played up so much so am super pleased you liked those antics. Also pleased the whole SwaSan interaction there came out like how I so wanted it to with Sanskaar's turmoil about Swara becoming more and more apparent.

Big hi5 for our beloved GoT reference! Ah Petyr Baelish- never directly thought of that in connection with Sanskaar but yes the quote especially is perfection! Mmmwah. I see a lot of Jaimie ("There are no men like me. Only me!" Yes definitely a Jaime there😳😆) and Tyrion combination in Sankaar myself, we have discussed the Lannister traits we so like applicable there and I find him the best mix of those two:)

I still haven't started on Chap 4 despite best intentions so will make sure I do tonight:)

Lots of love and thanks too mmmwwah

Originally posted by: The.Lannister

Shru give us their ages na please. It becomes easier to understand the characters if you know how old they are.