DARK KNIGHT- A SwaSan FF- DELETED- AN- PAGE 1- PLS READ - Page 19

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum

Hey Shru darling. ...🤗 🤗

Res for chap 2. Will un res in the evening as have some work to attend to.

In meantime...I was just grinning and thinking to myself, that the title for chap 2 could be "Dark Knight Rises" 😛 😉 How i love that movie series...

Un-Res

Hey Shru darling...🤗 🤗 So here I am, as promised, with the un-res in the evening. 😊

I really liked the update, sis. Have you read any MM Kaye? She's one of my very favorite authors, a lot of historical fiction set in India, and her Far Pavilions is, IMHO, one of the finest books in the genre ever written, or in any genre for that matter. Her Shadow of the Moon comes pretty close as well. You may have read those, and if not, please do---especially the former! I can completely picture SwaSan as Ash--Anjuli, the protagonists in that novel. Its simply spellbinding.... And the novel is set in Rajasthan, too, the Land of The Princes, a state both you & I feel such a powerful pull towards!!

Anyway, I hope I didn't bore you with that unsolicited book recommendation. 😆 The reason I started talking about the book, was that this chapter, the attention you have given to historical detail, reminded me a little bit of that book and its setting.

Chapter 2 combined 2 genres I am very fond of: historical fiction and a good ol' fashioned mystery complete with lost maps and keys! So for me, it was MM Kaye meets Dan Brown; The Far Pavilions meets Angels & Demons. 😉

I liked how you have taken the 4 main leads interaction from the early days of the show, and adapted it slightly to suit your historical setting. Ragini, apparently quiet and docile, confirming to socially expected norms (on the outside at least), of proper Princess behavior! 😛 And already, it would seem, very taken with her intended. Lakshya, Oh I loved how you described him here. Erratic, rash and impulsive, a spoilt princeling, who has too shallow an intellect to truly fathom and decipher the depths of another's thoughts and feelings. Lakshyas across all ages remain the same, do they not? 😛 😉

I liked how you portrayed Swara too. On the outside, full of joy, cheer and friendliness, but she too, had hidden depths to her nature which would only be discovered if and when she let anyone through her defenses. But for all that, she has a genuine and deep love for her family members, and would be willing to do anything, bear anything for them.

The soul connect, that almost unwilling spark and bond starting to combust between SwaSan was very well portrayed. Shru. I liked how Sanskaar avoids looking into Swara's eyes, for fear, perhaps, of losing himself completely, losing that drive arising from hate and vengeance? She arouses old feelings of care and tenderness in him, and he is fighting that magnetism, as you said in your outstanding 1st para: there is something frightening, after all, in such an uncanny bond that is unsought and even perhaps unwanted. Let's see how long His Highness Prince Sanskaar resists. 😉

You know how much I love Indian classical music, after our discussions on my "Music of the Soul" series. So I really liked the reference to the sisters' music you have portrayed here, and so deftly used the "feel" of their performances to delineate their essential character traits, too. Ragini's playing is aesthetically pleasing, conforming to accepted mores, lovely without being daring or innovative. Swara's on the other hand, full of life and vibrancy, stirs the listener vividly. BTW, my aunt and cousin play the veena (not the rudra veena--the traditional one), so I really love the instrument. 😊

I loved the effect Swara's playing had on Sanskaar---it seemed to awaken a wealth of feelings within him, called out to his tender, warm nature which he wanted to wall in. I so want these two to get further and further drawn together! And soon! 😉 BTW it was hilarious, how Lakshya was completely out of his depth with the performance (does the dude know anything? 😃) but still gave it fulsome praise...and Janki certainly looked as if she had somethings to mull over...She never got the place she wanted in her husband's heart since he always loved Sharmishta so much more; she must wonder, whether Ragini would have to face the same due to Swara?

The last stretch would have given Mr Brown a good run for his money...Nice mystery there with the 4 quarters of the map, and the key to reading them. Aha! So Kaveri & Kavita make an entry here (though not by name, and only in Annapurna's memory), is it? From your description, it seems (or at least Annapurna thinks) they were traitors who were "playing" Sanskaar. So he was found cradling Kavita's dead body, with the map and the key missing...and without the heirloom sword. Why do I have a feeling that the sword is going to be a crucial clue...and will be found in the effects of someone else? Perhaps Adarsh? Or even Lakshya? 😃

Nice work, Shru. Your commitment to researching your stories is evident as always. Look forward eagerly to Part 3!

Originally posted by: foresight

res

just recently realised that what i had posted was only the prologue and that you had also posted chp 1 and now chp 2. i was waiting for it, but got confused because of that whether you had updated or not. will read today evening and post. sorry trying to catch up on my writing so that i can post next update soon. please bear with me.

unres

Chapter 1

I loved how you have shown the equation between the daughters and the two mothers. It was interesting to see and i wanted to know more how that came about. there feels more to it somehow. you also added that wonderful touch about the sujata-laksh bond. We have wondered about that for so long. and then comes the connection between the traitor prince and the spunky princess. i wonder if a bit of worry about swara in AP's mind is also because she knows her son too well. sanskar al least had been quick to spot the mismatch in the pairs, when considering the bratty prince's preferences. so the connection rankled sanskar so much and affected him enough for his feelings to be apparent to swara...hmmm that is one strong bond

chapter 2

so the tensions are already mounting. Kavita and Kaveri already seemed to have played a ploy and wrapped Sanskar as a traitor and handed him back to DP. i wonder if the missing key is with someone in the family after making sanskar the fall guy. making him entangled in the ploy that had him intent on leaving with kavita, only to then kill the pawn (if she is indeed dead) and make it appear that sanskar had made a deal. if there was a honest fight, i don't think sanskar would have lost the fight for the person to take the key, his sword or kill kavita.

i loved how you have brought out the difference between the two sisters and despite her best intent, swara and her bubbliness is what is driving her sister away from her intended. does sanskar suspect laksh in this? or is he just the brat of a prince? the more he is trying to stay away from swara the more intrigued about him she is getting and the more drawn to him. and she is already affecting him at a level where he cannot keep the locks on his heart and emotions anymore. i love how you have said that there is something hidden in her too that she doesnt show anyone but sanskar is seeing that.

I am already waiting for the next part? Will swara accept the wedding proposal that laksh will surely propose and be pressurised to look at, or will she find a way to marry the mad prince, and then discover he isn't mad after all...somehow i feel with the accusation thrown at him, i don't think he can stop pretending anything soon.

loved both chapters and your way of unveiling the equations and the underplays that are going around.

Originally posted by: Sakura24

My dear, dear Shru,

I missed commenting on chapter one, but lets not dwell on old demons and move on, as I know you wouldn't like me wasting a paragraph on apologies.

So in mere span of two chapters a charming historical fiction is waved. Where castles raise on grounds of imagination and kings, queens, princes and princesses walk with pride, grace and occasional interludes of plotting and sinister intentions. Your writing as I keep telling you is so powerful that the reader could almost catch a gleam from their crowns or hear the rustle of their heavy clothing...such is the solid surrounding you create here. I just found myself on some sandy, golden and sunny landscape gazing at the grand Mahesh Mahel, watching the story inside unfold.

So I was right when I said a man as steely as Sanskar..oops, his highness the prince Sanskar, can't be insane. He isn't and is pulling a stunt which has captured almost everyone within his range in to believing him a harmless mad man. Then he has plans of spoiling Lakshya...oops again, prince Lakshya's marriage? Is it for reasons same as the show or something more vile? However his approach seems similar, Ragini.

Coming to the lady herself, it is not a hard job to picture an ancient Ragini, a princes, shy and meek so that everyone would praise and love her, yet with her own selfish and self centered motives behind the serene mask. She envies her sister it seems even before she noted how her future husband seems much interested in her than his future wife. I loved to imagine her playing the Rudra Veena, knowing she was the best and with a grace that came with the confidence, she might have been irked with Swara's performance.

Queen Annapurna, the lady won my heart as the perfect queen on your prologue now seems to be tangled in some orthodox notions. She prefers Princess Ragini for her lady like qualities while she feels a reasonable disdain towards Swara partly because of the unnatural almost immoral circumstances of her parents marriage and partly because of the lady in question is such a free bird, she seemed to threaten Annapurna's control over her walls. Interesting.

Prince Lakshya, his brother reads him like an open book doesn't he? He was so not interested in the meek doll Ragini but rather taken by the dazzling firework Swara. Now this guy is going to create problems for himself as well as others. I wonder will he eventually rip off the angelic mask the demon Ragini is wearing and force her to reveal her monstrous nature with Sanskar's aid?

So, a part truth of what happened to Sanskar reveals. That plot on the map, having four parts and needing all four to make sense was so thrilling.

I can't believe Sanskar would be a traitor, he is trapped or either had some other motive when he did what they claim he did. But at the moment I would not guess on that. It is too great to be aimed at, I will wait till you reveal it.

All in all, this is becoming my favorite in a fast pace. Do continue soon!

Loads of love,

Sakura

Originally posted by: bwvianna

Res ;)

Unres:

Shruti, 🤗

Sanskaar-licious chapter!!❤️

Flashback/Nightmare: Shruti, my heart dropped here. I had to tell myself that its 1800 and Sanskaar is still alive in 1804. Brilliantly written. I could imagine that tent with its flapping sheets in the middle of the desert. Sanskaar as a prince working over that map. 👏 Really well done. When they drink that drink and Kavita dies and then those guards come in *shudder* I hate it when people are framed! Loved this part of history that has been revealed! I found Kavita rather clingy here. Finally another piece of the puzzle is here. We now know how Sanskaar was captured. But now the question arises who is the real traitor? Kavita, Kaveri, one of the Maheshwaris, one of the Gadodias??

Present: Sanskaar ka thought process and feelings! ❤️ Loved the whole fountain scene. Possessive Sanskaar! Sanskaar is in awe of Swara's innocence. Poor guy is falling and not even realising! 😉 Please tell me Swara is not going to fall for Lakshya like in the show, it would kill me to watch(read) that. I really like how Swara gave that flower from Lakshya to Ragini. The jealousy is creeping out in huge folds now. Really really looking forward to how this whole thing pans out!

Please update soon! Waiting! :)

-V

Originally posted by: Niyatiswaragini

Res

Unres

Shruti hiii this part was really revealing a lot and so the engrossing of all. Expecrions👏 were high from this update that proved worth. Again the quote perfectly defined the chapter. Hatsss off to the knowledge u hold.

👏👏

Oh man noo .. Here too was a kavita, she was court lady's daughter. Mmm , sanskar was drugged n kavita killed, so was he denied for kavita's death🤢 . whatever it might be but the part appeared to be very inhuman, usually we hv references to such conspiracies in history ending up in taking someone's life ,but in all it makes up histories beauty in some way or the other. Especially wen considering the fights between the marwaris and the so called firangi's always turn out to be the most fascinating scene from history. I must compliment history and fiction is being perfectly balanced in your story.👏 Kaveri was one behind kavita's death oh man disgusting it is. Ohh kk sanskar may have killed kaveri or not (this point seems a bit perplexed) but anyway I enjoyed it to core.

Dulhan dost is being jealous. Omg ragini here too has issues with swara. But its totally justified , but y not with laksh , who is admiring swara like a greedy man with lustious desire , dude u are going to get married hv some sort of sense wat on earth gulped your senses . (it's wat I felt it might not be so)

Sanskar felt that it was laksh behind messing it all. I really loved the fountain scene. Sanskar is not ready to accept the attraction to swara. But hope he will soon. Phew I m waiting for the next part.

I really loved every bit of it.

Update asap

Love

Niyati

🤗

Originally posted by: rayab_rajpoot

Great work
thanks for the pm

Originally posted by: Apudeep

Hi shruti, this story is too engrossing to miss any part. Interesting update. Do pm me for the next part please.😳

Originally posted by: simsen23

Shruti...
Chapter 3 throws light on the past of sanskar,ya that was dark past
ragini is getting negetive vives day by day and sanskar knows that
swara is disturbed by laksh's behaviour
And sanskar is attracted by swara(possessive too)
I am waiting for the twist you will provide to this story
upate soon dearie
love
simi 😊

Originally posted by: sneharay

Awesome..
The dark past finally revealed..
The present part was superb..
Waiting for story to unfold 😊