Ram & Sita: Me Without You is Incomplete: part 12
Yuddha Kanda (contd)
The post agnipariksha phase:
Although there isn't much written about Sita's reaction after the agnipariksha, but as a woman, I'm sure it must've been hard for her to be normal' and lovey-dovey wife' right away.
Here is a citation that gives a little insight into Sita's thought process:
Rama looked at me. He came towards me with deliberate strides. "Seeta! You are the
impeccable one. I had no doubt in my mind that you are unblemished. You and I know that we had to do this for satisfying wagging tongues. As a queen you have to be seen as a person without a spot on your character. As a king I should be seen as impartial. I have to behave the same way to my wife as I would to any other woman in the country. Hence I had to steel myself to be nasty to you. I know it would have broken your heart. It did break mine. I am sorry you had to go through this. But it has proved beyond doubt that you are as pure as Ganga." I was numb. I did not have anything to say. But people were watching me. My reaction would determine the respect people have for Rama. I had to do the right thing. I smiled. It was an effort. I walked up to him and stood next to him. It was an effort. I looked up at him. It was an effort. I smiled at him and turned and stood next to him looking at the other people. "Jai Shri Ram!!!"
I was a detached observer. I could not get involved in anything. I made all the right sounds. I assume they were right because other's looked happy. Rama's words just after the pariksha, justifying the action, kept echoing in my ears. Something was wrong in them and I couldn't figure out what. Something did not add up and I was trying to make sense of it. I told myself, that I am feeling detached because, of the fatigue. The sense of hopelessness in the Ashok vana followed by deliverance must have numbed me. Things will become all right once we go home. I just have to be myself and things will turn out for the best. One step at a time, one day at a time. The love that I had for Rama will reawaken in me.
I pushed aside the
thought. No! This is insane! I love Rama. Whatever he did after the battle, was for my good, our good. He trusts me and does not have any doubts about me. why should I feel bad, when all he did was to protect me from the world. I looked at him. He was smiling and talking to all present. Once in a while, his arms would encircle my shoulders for support. I submitted to the embrace. He was my Rama, my soul mate. How could I let a single event mar the love I felt for him. How could so many days in the Ashok Vatika not dim my affection for him, while just that one conversation after the battle did? No Seeta!!! Don't overreact. Don't blame him for taking care of your image with the society. Go with the flow. This doubt in your heart is what Ravana wanted. He would have done some sorcery to make you doubt your love. He is trying to reach you beyond his grave. Don't give in.
Sundaram, Uma (2014-04-22). Seetayana: The Untold Journey (Kindle Location 2331). Uma Sundaram. Kindle Edition.
Here is Ram's apology after the agnipariksha:
Ram loudly declared to the people "I bless each one of you, may you be as pure as your Queen Seeta and my beloved wife". The one who clapped and cheered the loudest was my dear Hanuman all covered in vermillion. At the first opportunity Ram apologized for making me go through the ordeal, "Seeta, I never ever doubted you; neither you nor I have a thought for another and we both know that. You know well that
walking over fire is a yogic feat that requires great concentration; and even the slightest distraction means failure. That level of concentration is only possible for a person with a strong mind; and the characteristic of a strong mind is one who does not waver from the path of Dharma. The ability to walk over hot coals indicates strength of character which may be interpreted to mean purity. Seeta, it was not your husband who said those words; it was the King of Kosala. Never forget that what the Raghu Race does will be cited as classic norms by folks in all ages to come".
Phatak, Neeraja (2014-08-19). The Untold Story of Seeta: her journey through fields, palaces and forests (p. 141). Partridge Publishing India. Kindle Edition.
Rama said, "Forgive me, my love, that I was so cruel to you. Not for a moment did I doubt your chastity. I know what you
are. I know you are pure enough to wash the three worlds of all their sins. No one else could have resisted Ravana as you did. He was evil incarnate, subtle, and the great tempter. And that is why you were chosen to be his captive. Oh, Sita, more than my arrows it was your chastity that was Ravana's undoing. You were invincible to his every blandishment and threat; and that broke his spirit." Her eyes wide, she cried, "Then why..." Rama was her familiar, gentle prince again. The rage he had assumed was gone from his face. With untold tenderness, he said, "My love, if you had not passed through the agni pariksha, the world would never have believed you were chaste. For the world always judges by its own norms and the world is far from perfect. The people would have said, and so would posterity, that Sita lived in Ravana's antapura and, surely, the Rakshasa enjoyed her. They would have said Dasaratha's son was blinded by love, and he took back a sullied woman. But now, my Lords of the air, the world knows my Sita is purer than the fire. That she is purity incarnate. And she is just Rama's, and will always be."
Menon, Ramesh (2004-05-26). The Ramayana: A Modern Retelling of the Great Indian Epic (p. 497). Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Kindle Edition.
As they traveled back to Ayodhya in the Pushpak vimaan, memories of their days in the forest perhaps helped them heal their wounds from the separation, war and then the agnipariksha.
Her voice caught in her throat; she saw a familiar glade in the jungle. Her eyes filling quickly, she whispered, "That is where Jatayu gave his life for me." A shadow crossed Rama's face when he saw the asrama from where Ravana had taken Sita: a terrible memory of how life had been without her; how despair had coiled itself around his heart like a serpent. He remembered what a strength Lakshmana had been during those days. Rama said softly, "When we saw you were gone, my love, Lakshmana and I went south from Panchavati." She saw how much he must have suffered. Tenderly, she took his hand. On they flew, over dense jungle, and Sita murmured, "From up here one would scarcely guess at all the wonders that lie hidden below: streams and flowers, ancient trees and charmed pools, and birds and beasts out of dreams." Rama squeezed her hand, and such joy flowed between them at being together again.
Menon, Ramesh (2004-05-26). The Ramayana: A Modern Retelling of the Great Indian Epic (pp. 503-504). Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Kindle Edition.
A sneak peek into their conjugal life after their return to Ayodhya:
The morning after we returned, Ram was officially coronated as the King of Kosala; it was another day of celebrations. Now Ram got very busy with the affairs of the State but always found time for me. We had begun to live as any other married couple, we went for long walks together and when we couldn't go out we would play chess, our favourite game. Ram was infinitely more attentive to me now than he was before we left for the forest; he would even participate in choosing which
saree I would wear for a particular occasion and the jewellery to go with it, funnily I always agreed with his choice.
One morning, about six months after our return Ram told me he had a surprise for me and he would bring it with him when he returned for lunch. The child in me could not wait for the surprise. I pleaded with him to tell me, he laughed, "Seeta you waited for a year for me in Lanka and now you cannot wait till the afternoon"! And off he went. I counted the hours for him to return, I asked Mother Kaushalya if she knew of the surprise, she did not answer my question but said, "Ram loves you so much, you have no idea", and so I guessed she too knew, but wouldn't tell me and this increased my curiosity and impatience all the more. When Ram returned earlier than usual I ran up to him like a little child and looked at him expectantly; he laughed, "It's coming, wait". Just then visitors were announced and in walked my parents, my uncle Kushadhwaj and aunt Ganga, I squealed in joy. I hadn't met my parents for over fourteen years and was planning to ask Ram to send me to Mithila, now they were here! Mother Kaushalya told me that this was Ram's idea; he had been burdened with guilt about the trials we four sisters had been through. He had told her he couldn't reverse anything in the past, but would do his utmost to ensure our happiness in the future.
That evening I apologised to Ram for having said he had been inconsiderate to the feelings of my parents. He said, "Seeta you were right in what you felt. But what was I to do? I was caught between a hard rock and the deep sea. I have spent sleepless nights consumed with guilt because I permitted Lakshman to come and separated him from Urmila. I wept night after night when you were in Lanka; I told myself that had I not permitted you to come, you would not have been abducted. What is more Seeta, as a husband I chide myself for having made you go through trial by fire, but I have this unenviable role of being King and husband at the same time. Remember one thing always, I love you more than anything else in the world, but sometimes I have to decide whether I am King or husband; unfortunately for you and more than that for me, my role as a King will always take precedence over my role as a husband."
Phatak, Neeraja (2014-08-19). The Untold Story of Seeta: her journey through fields, palaces and forests (p. 153). Partridge Publishing India. Kindle Edition.
...to be contd...
Cricket
