Ram & Sita: Me Without You is Incomplete part13: pg18 - Page 11

Originally posted by: gmgi

No words Bheegi. Thank you again.🤗

Ram & Sita: Me Without You is Incomplete: part 11

Yuddha Kanda (contd)

Now comes one of the most controversial events in the divine and selfless love story of Ram and Sita"the agnipariksha.' In a true sense, this was trial by fire of their love in front of the society.

There are a lot of theories and myths around this important event-

First of all, the agnipariksha was NEVER ordered by Ram. It was Sita's doing, to prove her chastity- an act of defiance and preservation of her self respect.

Second, Ram the husband never suspected his wife but Ram, the king, forced himself to react this way to allay his praja's doubts.

Third, some authors and poets have defended Ram by having the shadow of Sita' emerge from the fire theory. Valmiki's orginal Ramayana never had that theory.

For me, this incident makes Ram and Sita's love story more poignant. Even though, a number of us, see this as an act forced by the patriarchal nature of the society in treta yuga, something that's abominable and unthinkable in this century, I hate to judge the morals and values that existed in that era. I don't condone this act, but for me, this didn't diminish the love Ram and Sita had for each other.

This is how it all played out: After the war was over

Hanuman brought Sita's message to Rama. When the prince heard she was waiting to see him, his eyes brimmed over. Then he fell silent and was plunged in thought. At last he turned to Vibheeshana and said, "My friend, I have no wish to see how she suffered. I could not bear it. Let her bathe, put on silks and ornaments, and come to me as she used to be." With his women, Vibheeshana went to Sita in the asokavana. They brought silks and jewelry for her. But with grave dignity she said, "I will go to Rama as I am. He must see me like this." Vibheeshana said, "Rama asked me to bring you holy water to bathe in, and silks and gold. How can I disobey him?" Sita did not protest further, but went with the women. She allowed them to wash her filthy, tangled hair, and comb it out as gently as they could; for it was matted like jata. She allowed them to wash a year's dirt from her thin body. They draped her in fine silks and adorned her with ornaments fit for Rama's queen. They dabbed subtle perfumes over her, and made up her eyes and lips. When she looked at

herself in the mirror they held up, Sita smiled: she was beautiful again for her husband. Vibheeshana ordered a royal palanquin fetched, to carry Sita to Rama. He went before her, back to the prince. Smiling, he said, "She has come, Rama." A wave of excitement rippled through the vanara army. The monkeys were agog to see her for whose sake they had come to Lanka. But Rama was distraught; there was dark conflict on his face. One moment, he felt ecstatic at the thought of seeing Sita again, and the next, a nameless rage gripped his heart. Finally he said, "Let her come to me."

Vibheeshana helped Sita down from the litter and led her slowly to Rama. She shrank from the thousands of eyes that stared at her. She blushed at the gasp from the crowd, when the monkeys saw she was more beautiful than they had dreamed. She covered her face. At long last, she stood before Rama. She saw his dark face, and stood gazing at what she saw as if it was her very life, which she had lost and regained. She whispered, "My lord!" Her eyes swam with tears and her heart beat as if it would burst for joy. But Rama avoided her gaze. There was no smile of love or welcome on his lips. Looking away, and in a voice he did not use even with his enemies, he

said to her, "Devi, I have vindicated my honor. Ravana wronged me and I killed him." His tone was cold and his words were like needles in her bewildered mind for their haughty aloofness. Sita still trembled, but not with joy any more. In the same icy voice she could hardly believe was his, he went on, "Great was Hanuman's valor when he leaped across the ocean, and Sugriva's and Lakshmana's in war. Vibheeshana came to me, abandoning his own brother; without him, victory could never have been ours." She shivered like a deer before a tiger, and her eyes were full of very different tears now: hot tears of anguish sprang in them. He looked at her briefly, and the sight of her face only fed his strange fury, as butter does a fire. He seemed to summon courage for what he had to say to her next. He drew a deep breath. "I came to avenge Ravana's affront to me, and that I have done. For my honor and the honor of the House of Ikshvaku, I came to kill him. I came because of dharma." He paused. Then, as if plunging a spike of ice into her, he said, "Do not think for a moment, Sita, that I came for your sake. Your name is a stain
on our family. It pains me to even look at you. You can go wherever you like. I have rescued you, as I swore I would; I owe you nothing more. No man of honor can take home a woman who has lived in his enemy's house for as many moons as you have. "I feel nothing for you. You can go with whomever you choose: Lakshmana or Bharata, Sugriva or Vibheeshana. It will not matter to me. Seek your fortune, since you have already been with Ravana for so long." A hush had fallen; the stunned crowd hardly breathed. Just once more, helplessly, Rama looked into Sita's face, as if to seek something there that he could not bear to find. Then he turned away, red-eyed. Sita stood before him, as stricken as Ravana had been by the brahmastra, her heart breaking with each searing word he said, before all those vanaras and rakshasas. Tears flowed down her face and fell to the ground. She bowed her head down, right down, as if to bury it.

The vanaras could not believe this was the gentle prince they knew speaking. At last, Sita herself cried in a ragged voice, "You are full of wretched suspicion, Rama, and speak like any ordinary man. Don't you believe that I was faithful to you? Ravana touched me only once, when he dragged me from our asrama and flew with me to Lanka. And then, surely, the fault was fate's, that I was not strong enough to resist him. How can you suspect me like this? I have been in torment being apart from you. "I swear to you, I was entirely chaste; every moment I thought only of you. If you were so full of doubt, why didn't you tell Hanuman to bring your true feelings to me? I would have killed myself at once, and you would not have had to fight this war. Instead, you sent him with lies. Not for a moment did I know this is how you felt, this despicable jealousy. You have ruined me with your suspicion, Rama; how could you think this of me?

Her breath came in gasps; tears streamed down her face. And now, anger was in her voice. Her eyes flashing, she said, "You are meant to be a man of perfect dharma. Some say you are Vishnu's own Avatara. But you are just common, Rama, as base as any other man. You say again and again that you are born into a noble house; you boast of your great honor. But what about my honor, that you have humiliated me like this, after everything I have endured? "I am Janaka's daughter, don't forget, and the Earth is my mother. Once, you took my hand and called me your wife. Have you forgotten that now? Or have I been a bad wife to you?" Rama did not so much as look at her and his face remained a mask. With a wail, Sita turned to Lakshmana. "Lakshmana, you have always done whatever I asked. I cannot bear the accusation that I am tainted. Your brother has abandoned me in the midst of this crowd. I have nothing to live for any more, when Rama tells me to go where I please, with whomever I choose. I choose to
go to my death. Make a fire for me, Lakshmana; my place will be at its heart." For the first time in his life, Lakshmana turned darkly to his brother. But Rama was made of stone; no flicker of feeling showed on his face. He stood staring at the ground. Lakshmana looked at him with the mute question: should he obey Sita? With awful silence, Rama said he should. Helpless, his eyes also streaming, Lakshmana began to build a pyre. The vanaras stood mute, staggered by this Rama they now saw. The fire caught and blazed. Sita made a pradakshina around her cold husband. She folded her hands to him and approached the flames. She folded her hands to the agni, and said in a ringing voice, "If it is true that I have never for a moment been untrue to Rama in thought or deed, protect me, ancient Agni, witness of the world. Rama says I am tainted. If the sun, the moon, the wind, and my mother, the Earth, know I am pure, let these flames not burn me. Let the world know Sita is sinless." Completely beautiful, she walked grimly around the fire, another flame herself.

The flames were twice as tall as the slight, exquisite Sita; in the shocked silence, she stood at their white heart. She was the color of her golden ornaments, and the screams of the rakshasi women of Lanka filled the air. In the sky, the Devas and gandharvas saw her, molten, in Agni's burning clasp. She was like a Goddess cast into hell by a curse. The ones of light, the witnesses of the ages, had never seen anything like this before. Though his eyes were now full of tears and his mind full of anguish, Rama did not stir. He stood staring at the ground.

Menon, Ramesh (2004-05-26). The Ramayana: A Modern Retelling of the Great Indian Epic (p. 492). Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Kindle Edition.

One has to read the whole agnipariksha episode very carefully. Also, one needs to remember what drove Ram to such an extreme and heartless gesture towards the woman he loved dearly, his soulmate, reason for the great war against Lanka that massacred thousands of people in both armies, rendering tons of women widows and children orphan.

It's his father and his father's weakness that drove Ram to such extremes.

He is aware that Dasharatha's magnificent reputation as a good and just king, an upholder of dharma, built painstakingly over sixty thousand years, has been destroyed by this single act of choosing (however overdetermined that choice' might have been) to submit to his young queen's ambitions for her own son. Rama knows that Dasharatha will no longer be remembered for the righteousness of his reign, but for this one irredeemable act of injustice against his son. Dasharatha's fall from public grace because of an uncontrollable desire for his wife will haunt Rama through his years in the forest and will, ultimately, affect his relationship with Sita. 8 Somewhere along the way, deep inside himself, Rama
decides that under no circumstances whatsoever would anyone ever be able to say that he acted like his father" that when he, Rama, was faced with a choice that involved public dharma and personal relationships he, too, failed to do the right thing because of his love for a woman. The consequences of this

decision become shockingly clear when Sita is rescued after the war with rakshasas. Ravana has been slain by Rama and Vibhishana is now king of Lanka. The monkeys rejoice on the battlefield and the defeated rakshasas pledge their allegiance to their new king. Sita hears the news of her husband's victory from Hanuman in the ashoka vana where she has been imprisoned for what seems to her, an interminable period of separation from her beloved. She is anxious to see Rama again and tells Hanuman so. Hanuman takes this message back to Rama who is still on the battlefield. Contrary to all expectations, Rama does not rush to meet her. Rma was silent for a moment and his eyes filled with tears. He sighed and looked down at the ground and then said to Hanumn, Let St bathe and wash her hair. Let her adorn herself with jewels and anoint her body with rare unguents. Then bring her here as soon as you can!' (Sattar 631) Vibhishana makes sure that Sita has all that she needs to make herself worthy of an appearance in public and leads her out. Rma seemed preoccupied and deep in thought, even though he knew that St, who had spent so many months in the home of the rkasa, had come. Joy, depression and anger flooded over him'. Instead of greeting his beloved wife, he turns his anger onto Vibhishana and berates him for trying to control the surging crowds of monkeys and rakshasas, all eager for a glimpse of the woman for whom the war had been fought. He says, A woman's behaviour is what protects her modesty" not a home, nor fine clothes, nor high walls and honours such as these! Women can be seen in public in times of calamities and emergencies, in times of war, at their own weddings and at religious rituals. A war has just been fought on St's account. She faces a crisis in her life. There is nothing wrong if she is seen in public, especially in my presence! Bring St here quickly, Vibhaa! Let her see me surrounded by all my friends!'

Deeply embarrassed and shrinking into herself, St approached her husband . . . When she found herself in the presence of such a huge crowd, she covered her face in shame . . . She gazed at her beloved husband who was like a god to her and her face lit up with love, pleasure and wonder. Her weariness and sorrow fell away . . . (Sattar 632) 9 When Rama confronts the moment of his reunion with Sita joy, depression and anger flooded over him' in contrast with Sita, who's face lit up with love, pleasure and wonder'. Sita's dismay at the cold reception from her husband is understandable as even Rama's allies and his brother are taken aback, first that he seemed in no hurry to see her at all and second, that for this most intimate of reunions, he would want to see her in public. Sita cannot believe what is happening to her or what she is hearing when Rama declares that he fought the war to avenge the insult to himself. St's doe-like eyes filled with tears as Rma spoke. But the more he looked at her, the angrier Rma became, blazing like a fire when ghee is poured upon it. He frowned and glared at St, speaking to her cruelly in front of all the rkasas and the monkeys.

The harshness of Rama's words is apparent to all that are present. Their terrible inappropriateness (to a wife who has suffered deeply in captivity and has remained faithful), when he tells Sita to go to another man" any other man, including her brothers-in-law" is laced with an unexpected cruelty. Nothing that we know of Rama thus far prepares us for this kind of emotional brutality and we have to look for reasons why Rama, usually so controlled in his responses to the most difficult situations, might speak and act.

One reason could well lie in the legacy of shame that Rama has chosen to carry from his father's last, befuddled decree. Somewhere along the way, Rama has resolved never to be accused of the same weakness" the love for a woman that clouds judgment. At this critical juncture, when he has to reclaim the woman who will be his consort as he returns in triumph to his kingdom, he cannot be seen to have given up propriety for the sake of love.

In fact, when the gods gather to watch Sita step into the fire and she is restored to Rama by Agni, Rama says to them, St had to be vindicated in the eyes of the world because this lovely woman had lived inside Rvaa's palace for such a long time. If I had not subjected her to such a test, good people would have said Rma, the son of Daaratha, is blinded by his love for a woman!'

Sattar, Arshia (2011-06-09). Lost Loves: Exploring Rama's Anguish (Kindle Locations 431-436). Penguin Books Ltd. Kindle Edition.

Ram's reaction was a classic case of heart vs mind. While he fought the war and longed for Sita with all his heart, his mind overruled his heart's desire once the war was over.

Read this citation carefully:

But let us consider more carefully how Rama reacts when he prepares to meet Sita after his victory over Ravana. At first, he is silent and his eyes fill with tears. He experiences joy, depression and anger'. The joy' is at seeing her again, relatively safe and unharmed, her love for him apparent and her constancy equally so. But why does Rama feel depressed and angry? Where are the tears coming from? I would argue that he is sad because he knows that he has to humiliate her, his sweet, innocent beloved, in public by asking for proof of her chastity, that his imminent life as a king demands this and nothing less. Rama loves Sita more than anyone else in the world" his demented grief when he returns from chasing the magic deer in the forest and finds her gone is proof of that, as is his anguish in the rainy season as he waits for the skies to clear and the search for Sita to begin. His anger is at the public life that has claimed him, a life where he believes that it is necessary to prove that he is not like his father, that for him, dharma comes before love. From this moment onwards, Rama will be forever the king, placing public duty before his personal feelings. How his heart must have shattered into a thousand pieces as he spoke those cruel worlds to gentle Sita on the battlefield!

Sattar, Arshia (2011-06-09). Lost Loves: Exploring Rama's Anguish (Kindle Locations 563-567). Penguin Books Ltd. Kindle Edition.

Her is an interesting point (part of an essay I just read)-- it equates the swaymvar where Ram had to prove his worth equivalent to the agnipariksha that Sita had to endure to prove hers...

In that limited sense, the scene (swamvar) could be seen as a counterpart to Sita's agnipanksa or fire ordeal. Here Ram is on trial and has to prove himself publicly worthy of Sita, although we know all along that there is no doubt he is.
.

The R-am-aya.na Revisited (Kindle Locations 2783-2784). Kindle Edition.

Having grown up hearing about the agnipariksha and the feminist point of view of the 20^th and 21 st century had me put all the blame game on Ram but as I've gotten to read and analyze Ram's character through my recent readings, I've started to understand where he came from. I'd still take Sita's side any day but have become less judgmental about Ram's actions. After all, over the centuries we have seen all great kings and leaders sacrifice their own kith and kin for the sake of greater good of the society. Didn't Gautam Buddha leave his wife and young child in search of nirvana?

...to be contd

Originally posted by: shruthiravi

@bheegi like you I have been critical of Agnipareeksha as a feminist. But as I grew up, I understood where it came from. Only if Ram could be that cruel Sita would take that AP. AP was needed to vindicate Sita in front of the world. To ensure no fingers are raised at her purity.

If you see it was Dasrath's lust on Kaikeyi that has led to all the boon things and Ram's vanvass. People put the mistake only on Kaikeyi, not on Dasratha for the lust. In every reading of Ramayana it is Kaikeyi's Moh that comes out, not Dasrath's lust. But in Sita's case Ram takes the blame vindicating her everytime. Her purity is untouched even after centuries because Ram made her walk the hard path. And for the hard path he made Sita walk, the world still blames him.

Men are not comfortable to explain these acts of Ram, because they never understood the man who allowed his better half to walk before him. Sitaram he is called.

They only looked at his actions, not the intend behind them, not the pain he took to do them.

Even today maybe we don't jump in Agni. But one way or the other every man and woman who are morally bound are forced to give AP in their own way for giving proof to society.

Originally posted by: Krishna_Sourav

Shruthi I agree with the fact many don't understand Siya nor Ram n their action ...they judge n assume things ...but the biggest Sacrifice they held for this society they set an example by going with pain n sacrifice...