| PaRud OS | Different Worlds |

Aasmaan, tera mera hua
Khwaab ki tarah dhuaan dhuaan
Aasmaan, tera mera hua
Saans ki tarah ruaan ruaan
Jaaye jahan tu jaye
Paaye mujhe hi paaye
Saaye ye mere hain tujh mein samaaye

Your sky, and mine,
has become all smoke, like a dream..
Your sky, and mine,
is spread in parts, like breaths..

Wherever you go, you will find me.

Your shadows are mine, like mine are yours.

-x-x-x-

He covered Dhruv with his favourite blue blanket, and slowly, made his way out of bed. He was dressed in his white Kurta, and after a long time, had a smile on his face. Why wouldn't he smile... It was full moon after all.

When he knew the moon had reached its peak; he slowly came into the hall, ready to climb the stairs to the roof.

"Devarji-Sa..."

A voice made him turn around, and he saw Maithili Bhabhi standing at some distance. His eyes softened. She must have something to give to Paro, for sure.

"Paro se milne jaa rahe hai?" She softly whispered. [Are you going to meet Paro?]

"Haan Bhabhi-Sa. Aapko kuch kehna hai usse?"He asked, impatience lacing his voice. He couldn't wait to meet his wife after all this time. [Yes, Bhabhi-Sa. Do you want to say something to her?]

Maithili watched her Devars face for a few seconds. She didn't know what she felt in these times. Pity? Hope? Jealousy? Or plain madness?

She chose to smile back. She knew this wasn't madness. This was something completely on the far end of the spectrum. This was faith. This was her little sister after all. It was always about faith.

"Yeh de dijiyega usse Devarji-Sa. Bahot waqt ho gaya naa... Khush ho jaayegi." She handed a packet to Rudra. [Give this to her Devarji-Sa. It has been a long time. She will be happy.]

He took it and saw it was Imli with namak. Her favourite. He thanked Bhabhi-Sa, and started ascending the stairs, a special kind of dread filling his shattered heart.

What if she didn't come to meet him tonight?

What if she didn't love him anymore?

What if she had moved on?

His fear made his throat parched, his breathing hitched, he opened the creaky door to the rooftop, and was hit by the soothing moonlight in full force.

She was here. And she still looked as perfect as a dream.

His breath returned.

-x-x-x-

Saiyyara main saiyaara
Saiyyara tu saiyyara
Sitaron ke jahan mein milenge ab yaara

I am my own world now. And you are your own world.

And we shall only meet again in the stars..

-x-x-x-

She shimmered, in a snowy white lehenga. Her hair flew with the wind, and the sound of her bangles could be heard in every corner of the haveli. Her pink lips were curved up in a smile, and her doe like eyes held a child like happiness inside them.

Rudra knew. Rudra knew in that moment that his Paro would never leave him. He knew in that moment that she'd continue loving him till the end of time.

He knew that he'd be hers, and she'd be his till the stars shone in the night sky.

"Itni der lagaa di Major-Saa." Her voice beckoned him. [What took you so long, Major-Saa.]

He would have never thought that the gods above would be so merciful to him. All his life, nothing ever really gave him happiness. Except this voice.

His lips contorted into a smile, and he held out the packet to her.

-x-x-x-

tu jo mila to yoon hua
ho gayi poori adhoori si dua
tu jo gaya to le gaya
sang tere mere jeene ki har wajah

Since I have met you, it is almost as if,
as if some unheard wish has been fulfilled...
As you left, you took with you
every reason for me to live...

-x-x-x-

"Imli!!!" She chimed, like a child and sat on the cot nearby. He drank her in, his insides wrenching at the beauty that she was. She truly glowed, had always glowed since he had met her.

There were very few things in his life that he'd believe in. Even the existence of a higher superpower had been a doubt in his mind until she came back to him. He would thank all the Gods that he knew now existed. He would thank her Bholenath now, for Her Bholenath was for sure merciful.

He knew he couldn't exist in a world without her. He was so sure, that he had slit his wrists within 13 days of her disappearance.

And then, as if beckoning to his call, she had returned.

Though, it took the full moon for her to return, but she did.

"Major-Saa... Aayiye naa. Kya dekh rahe hai?"Her voice called out to her, and he moved. [Major-Saa... Come here... What are you gazing at?]

He sat beside her, and she interlaced her fingers into his. He slowly brought her hand up to his lips, and kissed her digits tenderly.

"Tere bina saans nahi aati." He told her. ["I can't breathe without you.]

"Ssshh! Aisa nahi bolte Major-Saa.." She admonished him. [Ssshh! Don't say things like that!]

jaaye jahan tu jaye
paaye mujhe hi paaye
saaye ye mere hain tujh mein samaaye
Saiyyara main saiyaara
Saiyyara tu saiyyara
Sitaron ke jahan mein milenge ab yaara

Wherever you go, you will find me.

My shadows are within you.

I am my own world now. And you are your own world.

And we shall only meet again in the stars...

-x-x-x-

"Toh kya bolte hai Paro?" He asked her, tired. [Then what does one say, Paro?]

He was truly tired. He was tired of living. He was tired of existing for the sake of existing. It took a toll on his heart, his mind, his body, every fibre of his existence. It was excruciatingly painful, this hollow existence without a meaning.

"Yeh bolte hai ki tujhe dekh kar achcha lag raha hai Paro." She cooed to him. She knew this was hard. Lord Bholenath knew how hard it was for her. And she did not want to start imagining the depth of pain this was for him. [One says that they are very pleased to see me.]

Every single time.

His head rested on her dainty shoulders. And he sighed. His eyes were closed, and he just soaked in her warmth, as if her glow gave him life, gave him strength to exist.

"Maaf kar de mujhe, Paro." He breathed out, his voice breaking in between. This was his entire fault. This once in a blue moon meeting was a boon. But it was his entire fault from the start. [Forgive me, Paro.]

"Aap mujhse pyaar karte hai." She replied, as if this very sentence just washed him off all his sins. As if that one sentence forgave that he was late. That he couldn't rescue her. That he let her blood flow. That he... That he let her get killed. [You love me.]

A tear dropped from his eye, and her hand was at his cheek, soothing him.

-x-x-x-

tum pe miti, tum se bani,
tum se hua hai haan khud pe yakeen
tu jo nahi to na sahi,
main hoon yahan to
tu hai yahin kahin..

I'm sacrificed on you, I am made of you,

Through you, I have faith in myself.

If I am here,

You're somewhere here as well.

-x-x-x-

"Major-Sa, Mai aapse zindagi bhar pyaar karti rahungi." She cupped his face, and looked into his eyes. It was an unknown aura, which enveloped her as she said that, and his face contorted in pain at the realization of what she said. [I will love you all my life, Major-Sa.]

"Zindagi ke baad bhi pyaar kar rahi hai tu, Paro." He took one of her hands in his own, and intertwined the fingers. Her fingers had a strange soft glow to them, a glow which he dreaded, for it told him that all this was fleeting. [You are loving me even after life, Paro.]

She kissed him softly, on his lips, and smiled.

"Aapki galti nahi thi Major-Sa." [It wasn't your fault, Major-Sa]

He would never get to know why she did this. Why she made everything pure, without even trying. She wouldn't even seem like she was doing something huge, but to his soul, it was always humongous. She always made his burdens go away. Or in this case, tried to.

-x-x-x-

"Maithili Jeeja, Aap yahaan kyun khadi hai akele?" Myrah asked as she saw Maithili silently staring at the roof from stairs. [Maithili Jeeja, Why are you standing here alone?]

Maithili turned towards her, and just smiled as streaks of dampness were visible along her cheeks.

"Kuch nahi Myrah." She replied and turned her head to witness the miracle that always happened. [Nothing, Myrah.]

It was relieving to watch her little sister be with the love of her life. It was relieving to see her Devar be happy for these few moments under the moonlight. And it was blissful to witness such a strong love, which defied everything else in the world.

Myrah turned her head to the direction Maithili was silently watching and weeping, and she received a jolt that shook her soul. She saw a woman, faintly resembling her. No, no she didn't resemble her. She would be stretching it if she thought that this ethereal beauty looked like her.

Rudra was with a goddess. She was sure that she was witnessing a goddess because no other words could have defined the glowing beauty that was caressing Rudra.

"Woh Kaun Hai, Jeeja?" She asked in awe. [Who is that, Jeeja?]

"Woh Parvati hai." [She is Parvati.]

"Goddess Parvati, Jeeja?"

"Nahi... Rudra ki Parvati." Maithili replied. [No, Rudra's Parvati.]

Myrah could not say anything anymore. Her voice seemed to have disappeared, and her body seemed to be rooted to the ground, as she watched two celestial lovers.

-x-x-x-

jaaye jahan tu jaye
paaye mujhe hi paaye
saaye ye mere hain tujh mein samaaye
Saiyyara main saiyaara
Saiyyara tu saiyyara
Sitaron ke jahan mein milenge ab yaara

Wherever you go, you will find me.

My shadows are within you.

I am my own world now. And you are your own world.

And we shall only meet again in the stars...

-x-x-x-

"Aap usse pyaar kyun nahi kar lete ab, Major-Sa?" She was caressing his hair as he had his head in her lap. [Why don't you fall in love with her, Major-Sa?]

He immediately sat up, anger coursing through his veins. He had been hearing this from everyone in his family, but she was the last person he had ever wanted to hear this from.

"Kya matlab tera, Paro? Kyun kar loon mai usse pyaar? Tujh jaisi dikhti hai, isliye?" He barked, his eyes clouding with pain. [What do you mean, Paro? Why should I love her? Just cause she looks like you?]

She held on to his hand, and gently soothed him. Her eyes were as true to him as they ever were, and deep down he knew what she meant. As long as he held on to her, she wouldn't leave him. But that also meant he wasn't moving anywhere. He was stuck forever in time, existing only for the sake of existing, loving her. Loving something which had ceased existing.

But that didn't mean he could give up on his love. Her Bholenath had been merciful enough to grant him this small happiness. He could live with this. He didn't need to move on. He could exist. Just exist. And not feel anything besides her.

"Aap jaante hai mera kya matlab." She said, "Agar usse nahi toh kisi aur se... Kar lijiye pyaar." [You know what I mean. If not her, then somebody else. Fall in love again, please.]

"Nahi..." His voice choked, and she hugged him in that instant. [No...]

"Nahi kar sakta pyaar Paro. Kyunki tujhe pyaar karna nahi chodh sakta. Tere bina nahi jee sakta. Aur tune aisa vaada liya, ki marr bhi nahi sakta. Tu mujhe jeet-e-jee maar ke gayi Paro." He clung on to her, crushing her in the hug, weeping. [I cannot love again, Paro. Cuz I cannot stop loving you. I cannot live without you. And you have taken a promise from me, a promise that won't let me die either. You made me a corpse when you left, Paro.]

"Shaant ho jaayiye, Major-Sa." She tried to calm him down, her time was running out. [Please calm down, Major-Sa.]

He enveloped her, like his life depended on it. He knew she would disappear any moment.

"Tera pyaar kaafi hai Paro. Chodh ke mat jaa. Tera pyaar kaafi hai. Mat chodh ke jaa mujhe. Mai kaise rahoon tere bina?" He wept into her arms, as she massaged her hands on his back. [Your love is enough for me Paro. Please don't leave me.]

"Chup ho jaayiye Major-Sa." She broke down, her tears shaking her body. [Please calm down, Major-Sa.]

"Sab kuch kaatne ko daudta hai. Saans leta hoon toh hawaa bhi khoon jalaati hai Paro. Tu matt jaa. Ruk jaa Paro. Bheekh maangta hoon mai. Ruk jaa naa. Paro... Paro??" He was hysterical with pain now. [Everything just pains me. Even the air I breathe in, it burns me. Please don't go. I am begging you Paro. Don't leave me. Paro... Paro??]

And she dissipated into nothingness. His hands were left empty, were left barren, and were left with nothing, like always.

[So, how was it? Please leave your comments. Special thanks to Crystal, Shona and KD for proofreading this. You guys are the best.]

[A special shout out to all the Navaras writers. Naveen Jeeja, Rae, Asho, Choti, Maya... It'd mean the world to me if you guys read this!]