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eveline

@eveline

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

SORRY BUDDIES...HAVE TONS OF WORK AND MEETINGS SO HAD TO CUT SHORT THIS EXTREMELY INTERESTING DISCUSSION...PLEASE PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO RESPOND RIGHT NOW...WILL TRY AND DO MY BEST...AND MOST IMPORTANT...THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR BEING YOURSELVES...LOVE YOU...

One thought that has been bothering my mind since the day Paro discovered her love for Rudra and decided to stick with him, till he gives in...isn't this unfair??

Paro believes that Bholenath, her God, has decreed that Rudra is her destined soul mate. She is irrevocably in love with him. But what about Rudra?? (Yes, Rudra has feelings for her, but only we know it, not Paro). He has time and again, stressed that he does not have any romantic inclination towards Paro. He is not in love and does not plan to fall for her any time in future, yet Paro refuses to acknowledge his honest feelings. She is blindly pursuing her belief, not caring a hoot about the guy's thoughts in this issue. She knows that he doesn't even like her, forget love, and she knows the man is no way ready for marriage, or any kind of commitment yet she sticks to him. Her total refusal to pay heed to his thoughts reeks of one sided obsession. In essence she turns a blind eye and deaf ears to whatever he says or does. She simply and royally ignores his outpourings, just cause she has fallen for him and believes he is the destined one?? Isn't this harassment??

I know majority will not appreciate my saying this...but wasn't this the case with Laila too. I mean Laila fell for Rudra (and keeping all other issues aside, dancing girl n all), but Rudra was not in love, and so the matter ended. Isn't Paro doing the same here?? But is more brash and bold and insensitive than Laila?? Isn't Paro just more stubborn and headstrong and blind and totally uncaring about Rudra's stand??

The whole forum was up in arms when marriage was being forced on Paro (and Rudra had his reasons). Everyone yelled it was unfair, it was wrong. Yet, today when a relationship and marriage are being shoved down Rudra's throat, just cause Paro has fallen in love with him, no one feels this is wrong?? When a man is being chased relentlessly and pursued against his wishes, forced to acknowledge a woman as his partner when he has no desire to do so...isn't this wrong on all counts, morally, socially, humanly?? Rudra is being pressurized from all sides, emotionally, familialy and professionally to give in to a woman and a marriage, that he is just not ready to accept ( again only we know about his attraction to Paro)!!

Time and again I have wondered about this...do we only see a woman's pain? Are we totally immune to the other half's agony??

P.S...I love them both equally, and this is not about who is right and wrong, just a point that has been bothering me for a few days. I again realize that the majority will not react to this favorably, just wanted to share my doubts with you all...that's it!!

Edited by eveline - 11 years ago

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SingaporeFan

@SingaporeFan

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

I agree a bit only... Wasn't it Rudra who started the whole shaadi business? Forced her through all rasams etc.. And he did it to blackmail her... She is doing it for love n believes Bholenath has destined them to be together... Her purpose is his happiness too...

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BillyJean.

@BillyJean.

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

I understand your point.

The way i see it is, Paro was forced into marriage by Rudra for no fault of hers. She was totally ignorant of Tejawats misdeeds and her life long brainwashing against BSD made her hate Rudra.

So most of us felt her pain.

But Rudra is being forced into this marriage not by Paro's newly discovered feelings for him. As the reasons are yet to unfold, I am guessing that Rudra's seniors will pressure him to marry the girl whom he had kept in his house as witness and on whom he had forced a public marriage. So this forceful marriage is a result of Rudra's own actions. His pressure tactics on Paro are now backfiring on him. If His seniors don't force him , I don't think he will marry her. So her love alone is not the reason for this force marriage. On the other hand, his need for her signature was the sole reason for forcing marriage on her.

What happens to a girl who has been publicly announced as his wife, but is now asked to leave as he does not need her as witness anymore?

There is no reason in the scheme of things to sympathize with Rudra here. The two situations are different.

That's my POV

That's how Indian soaps are written...the only motive is to evoke sympathy for the FL. Fair enough...majority of viewers are females.

Edited by SanayaIsBest - 11 years ago

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eveline

@eveline

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: SingaporeFan
I agree a bit only... Wasn't it Rudra who started the whole shaadi business? Forced her through all rasams etc.. And he did it to blackmail her... She is doing it for love n believes Bholenath has destined them to be together... Her purpose is his happiness too...

honestly, what makes her so sure that his happiness lies with her?? He might have some one better in his fate too, or might be in love with Laila for all she knows?? Isn't this his choice??

Yes, Rudra started it, but for a totally different purpose. We are all aware, but what reason does Paro have...

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eveline

@eveline

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: SanayaIsBest
I understand your point.
The way i see it is, Paro was forced into marriage by Rudra for no fault of hers. She was totally ignorant of Tejawats misdeeds and her life long brainwashing against BSD made her hate Rudra.

So most of us felt her pain.

But Rudra is being forced into this marriage not by Paro's newly discovered feelings for him. As the reasons are yet to unfold, I am guessing that Rudra's seniors will pressure him to marry the girl whom he had kept in his house as witness and on whom he had forced a public marriage. So this forceful marriage is a result of Rudra's own actions. His pressure tactics on Paro are now backfiring on him. If His seniors don't force him , I don't think he will marry her. So her love alone is not the reason for this force marriage. On the other hand, his need for her signature was the sole reason for forcing marriage on her.

What happens to a girl who has been publicly announced as his wife, but is now asked to leave as he does not need her as witness anymore?

There is no reason in the scheme of things to sympathize with Rudra here. The two situations are different.

That's my POV
That's how Indian soaps are written...the only motive is to evoke sympathy for the FL. Fair enough...majority of viewers are females.

I am talking from Paro's pov too...She knows Rudra doesn't like or love or want her in his life...why is she hell bent on being a part of it then?? The societal or professional pressures you mentioned would not have been in the picture if Paro would have made such a public declaration of her love for Rudra. All the pressure materializes from Paro's public confession, till then no one cares about Paro's role in Rudra's life. So its not cause of Rudra's actions initially, its cause Paro decided to make her adoration for him public, thus starting a chain of event s...

And I agree that indian soaps are written to evoke pathos and emotions only for females, but are we all so unbalanced...

And I loved your response, its not playing the blame game, just being totally factual, which I truly appreciate...

Edited by eveline - 11 years ago

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Exprimere

@Exprimere

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

Call it vicarious pleasure, or whatever- but I like the "pressure" of marriage being on a man's head. Basically, I agree with you, but I'm interested in this tables-turned situation.

I have seen this happen so many times, in real life, or otherwise, when the woman is under societal pressure because she does't marry a "suitable" boy. I also see that when men chase women relentlessly with one sided affection, it counts as being romantic. The idea is, eventually, the girl will realise that she is in love, and all refusal was just an expression of her morality and purity.

About Laila. I have supported her, time and again, and I'm truly disappointed that she's been portrayed as a sl*t and a bitter caricature. There is a lot to explore in her. She has invested in the relationship for 8 years. She had no qualms about Rudra not reciprocating until she saw the threat of Paro. To her, it was double standards, that Rudra doesn't care for HER, and keeps lying that he can't love in general.

Now Rudra had started the wedding drama himself. For pure selfish needs- his job. Paro is doing it because she truly loves him (too soon, but well, soap logic) and believes she can change him. At no point does she want to hurt him, and she'll keep that in mind.

It's not "correct" that Paro is forcing him, but he's already ruined a lot for her, and she's forgotten all of that. She's also not capable of causing him hurt. She can see the broken, ruined, motherless child and wants to nurse him back. Conversely, it plays on the age old myth that women can love and care and change the man. If Rudra's plight is to be criticised, so is this mindset, that the woman must bear all insult to cater to the man.

I actually want to see how this unfolds. Let's really see if Rudra is the "victim". Who's to say Mala left because of Dilsher treating her bad? We don't yet know that story- why did Mala actually leave and who kept her from seeing Rudra. So if, thus far, Rudra has suffered because of his mother's abandonment, and father's gruffness, those events were against his wishes. I want to see what Paro's coersion can do to Rudra. He (kinda) killed her wishes, her husband (which was a big blow before Tejawat's revelation), and snatched away a father figure in Tejawat.

This is a Pandora's box of morality conflicts. We just have to go with the lesser-damage done situation, I guess?

Jo bhi ho. Consummashun bhala toh sab bhala 😆

Edited by Exprimere - 11 years ago

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eveline

@eveline

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: Exprimere
Call it vicarious pleasure, or whatever- but I like the "pressure" of marriage being on a man's head.

I will elaborate. Typing out a response. #Don'tJudgeMe already.

😆...nope no judging involved here...go ahead shoot!!

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BillyJean.

@BillyJean.

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: eveline
I am talking from Paro's pov too...She knows Rudra doesn't like or love or want her in his life...why is she hell bent on being a part of it then?? The societal or professional pressures you mentioned would not have been in the picture if Paro would have made such a public declaration of her love for Rudra. All the pressure materializes from Paro's public confession, till then no one cares about Paro's role in Rudra's life. So its not cause of Rudra's actions initially, its cause Paro decided to make her adoration for him public, thus starting a chain of event s...

And I agree that indian soaps are written to evoke pathos and emotions only for females, but are we all so unbalanced...

i agree the public proposal does contribute to the pressure. But the pressure for marriage was started by Rudra. don't you think even if there was no public proposal, the media the villagers and the BSD are already aware that Rudra had publicly acknowledged marriage to Paro. So the publicizing has been done by Rudra way before. And here, Paro is not forcing marriage, she only wants to earn his love. From her point of view, she is confident that Rudra is rough on the outside, but she can soften him. She has seen his vulnerable side and she believes she can help him by being his partner, just like he had saved her life and honor. She realizes now it is her turn to be there for him and be his healer like he has always been her rakshak.

Edited by SanayaIsBest - 11 years ago

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bewakoofLadki

@bewakoofLadki

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

ha yaarr i never thought from poor rudras view...how he must b feeling for a forced marriage..

while rudra forcing marriage was a serious type issue n v wer like oh god poor paro...but i think paro forcing marriage is on a lighter side with a comic thing...n v know rudras feeling...so no sympathy fr rudra...

n i love ur post

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Tanisha99

@Tanisha99

Explorer

Posted: 11 years ago

#10

Agreee with you somehow.. Our soceity is like that.. If a man forced a woman , he named as sexual abuser, rapist, molester and so on.. But if a woman forced a man then people will not only keep silent..rather complained that how he is behaving rudely with her and so on.. Sighhh

" men are not always wrong and women are not always right.."

But this is a fictional drama .. We all know paro is a good choice for Rudra.. He will get to know this later that paro is his real soulmate in true sense.. Now its looks forced on Rudra.. But its good for that adiyal shaand..😆 Waiting for this forced marriage..

Love your post Eve..😊

Edited by Tanisha99 - 11 years ago

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