FF~Trespassers Prohibited~#2;Upd.49,50 - 120,121 - Page 83

"Right…………" she took a deep breath.

"One more thing……………..very important."

"What?"

"If she asks you about it or if she doesn't talk to you…………tell her that you did not know anything about mom's involvement in Jai's accident. I did not tell you about that."

"You must be joking Shaan………..I am not going to say anything like that."

"Do as I say………..tell her that you were alone in Mumbai and missed family…….. so you got carried away. And had I told you anything about mom, you would have never gone ahead."

"No Shaan, that is false………….it's a complete lie."

"Just say it."

"No ways………….I am just not going to put the false blame on you. I loved you much before we went to Mumbai…………….in fact, I have always loved you…….it has nothing to do with my missing the family and ………….you tried hard to avoid me….

I just kept messing with you………troubled you and barged into your house………. I made you confess your love to me………….and you told me everything about your mom, as soon as you could."

"I know all that……………but trust me once……………just TRUST me !! Do what I am telling you to do."

"But why?"

"Maybe, she wants to hear that………….I want to know what her response is…... If you tell her the truth that you just told me…….. that is something obvious…….. so she won't be shaken…………But if you tell her this, she will think about it…………this will move her…….."

"I don't understand a word of what you are saying……….."

"Just trust me…………say what I told you…….."

"No………….. my heart doesn't agree to that………."

"Please………….please do it once. Just for me !!"

She bit her lip in frustration, "I don't know what you are upto……….but I'll try."

"Good girl…………now go……I'm waiting."

Shantanu disconnected the call and folded his hands to place the elbows on his lap and rest his chin on the folded hands……….

He was nervous, again………..he didn't want Ma to shout on Khanak or be upset with her ……………..and he didn't want Khanak to cry, at all…….

That could be the worst.

But it seemed inevitable…………..he had just advised her to shed some tears as he knew that Ma won't be able to see her tears. It was important for them to talk…………… he didn't want a communication gap to creep up between them.

On a thought, he got up from his bed and reached for a drawer much above a cabinet at the extreme end of the room. He opened the chest of the closet and pulled the drawer…………it was filled with old certificates, papers and few small old albums. He took them out and spread the albums on his bed…….loads of family photographs………. of festivals, weddings, outings, picnics unfolded and most had Savita with Jai and Shaan, loads had Madhavi with Akshay and Khanak………their fathers, dadi, their common friends and the group. But most had one thing common…………Savita's hand on Shaan's shoulder or his head……….

He smiled for once and then felt heavy again…….

Khanak slowly opened her door to check the activity outsides. The house was quiet. She stepped towards her Ma, papa's room and opened the door………she saw Savita on her bed, eyes closed and papa on the other side.

She felt disappointed but still she slowly stepped in and kneeled beside her Ma's side of bed…………she took Ma's hand in her own and squeezed it lightly between her hands.

Usually, Savita's sleep was fragile and she used to wake up even at the faintest sounds, but today, she did not get up or even open the eyes. Khanak immediately knew that she was awake and did not want to speak to her.

"Ma……." She whispered but did not get any answer.

Khanak had tears brimming in her eyes on this. Ma, who used to wake up at the slightest intuition that her kids need her, didn't want to talk to them……

She felt almost a stranger in her own house. Not getting any answer, she got up slowly and came out, closing the door behind her.

She cried her heart out once she came back to her own room……..she couldn't see Ma avoiding her and this was happening for the first time in her life. Tears were not stopping but she didn't want to show to Shaan that how weak she was and she didn't want to trouble him as he was already going through a lot.

Finally, she dialed his number.

"Hey what happened?" his voice had an urgency.

"I couldn't talk……" she spoke with a meek, choked voice.

"Why are you crying? Did she say something to you?" he was nervous and worried.

"No, everyone has slept and I went to Ma's room to talk…………but she was pretending to sleep…………..she did not get up when I called her and took her hand in my own. Shaan, she is avoiding me………"

"Awww……………….I can understand how it feels………..don't worry, we'll talk to her tomorrow."

"You are not upset with me?"

"Why should 'I' be upset with you?"

"You asked me to talk to her and I couldn't."

He smiled, "You are super-crazy to think that I will be upset at such a small thing……… I told you to talk but I knew that she won't talk……………she needs time………but we can't leave her alone…………she doesn't want to talk and we have to keep trying."

"Tomorrow morning, I'll definitely talk to her………"

"Okay………….take your time………..see that she doesn't neglect her health."

"Hmm…………..I will………"

He kept quiet for a moment………………she was quiet too……….

"Bye then…………….." he said.

"Hmm…………" she couldn't speak.

"What?" he whispered.

"I talked to Jai today…………he said that he is with us."

"I know…………I wanted to talk to him but I knew that you would want to talk to him too…….."

"Shaan, I am feeling so lonely even when Jai is with me………."

"Yeah………………it's because Ma is not talking to you…..………I'm feeling the same……….."

"She doesn't approve of us together………."

He kept quiet again………..for sometime………….and then he spoke, leaving a heavy breath, "I won't be upset if you tell me that you are having second thoughts………."

"Really ?? You won't be upset? Why? You don't love me?..." she was suddenly acidic.

"Khanak……." He spoke and then pressed his lips with this.

"How can you even think of that…………don't you know that we can never separate?"

"Yes, I know……………………I'm sorry."

"You better be…………." She scolded him softly this time.

"Khanak………"

"Say it………."

He tried but couldn't speak………….his throat was blocked……with heavy lumps.

"Say it Shaan…………" she whispered as soft as she could in a voice as soothing as she could speak.

He finally spoke, with loads of effort, with a choked throat, "I need you…………I am just completely lost…."

"I 'am' with you………..talk to me…….." she just whispered.

And they talked for a long time till wee hours of the morning……….

…………………………………………………………………………….

Next day morning, Khanak woke up very early………..around 7.00 am.

She freshened up and took a quick bath before she peeped all over for Ma. Ma wasn't in her room or kitchen. Her dad was reading his favourite newspaper in the lawn and he told her that Ma was in Jai's room. Shravan had already come and he was watering the plants while her dad observed him.

Ma was applying mineral oil on Jai's legs and massaging it. She did it everyday before his bath. Jai was observing her intently and Ma was lost in her work with complete dedication and without any dialogue. She always used to get up before 6.00 am and made sure that she got ready within half an hour and got the breakfast ready for everyone. Then she was free to be with Jai.

Her cotton saree was neatly tucked on her shoulder and her big kumkum bindi was the only make up she ever applied.

"Ma………." Jai spoke.

"Yes…….." she replied, without looking up at him and still deeply involved in massaging his legs below the knees.

"Why are you so quiet today?"

She ignored his question and said in a low voice, "Jai, this shorts is old now. Give it to Shravan. Remind me when I go shopping the next time…………I'll bring a new one for you."

"Ma……….I'm asking something."

She got up and picked up the oil and rough cloth that she had put below his legs, while speaking in minimum words, "I'll send Shravan, take bath and get ready……….and then I'll tell him to bring you out. Sit in the lawn with your dad for sometime, while you have your breakfast."

This was in complete contrast to her usual cheerful nature. She was avoiding any questions or talking today.

"Ma please………….talk to me."

She stood where she was, looking at him, "Do you want anything Jai?"

"I want 'you' to sit with me…….."

"I have work."

"Ma please…………….please,"he requested.

She turned back and sat near him, looking at his face.

"Ma………..why are you so quiet?"

She looked keenly at his face, "Don't you know Jai? I think Khanak talked to you last night, didn't she?"

"Yeah………….she did………."

"Then?"

"I want to hear you…………………your stand………"

"I don't want to talk about it…..." she stood up.

"Ma, are you upset with me too?"

"Did you know about them, Jai?"

"Yes…….."

She didn't speak, just wet her dry lips with her tongue, got up and went out.

When she stepped out of Jai's room, she saw Khanak standing outside the door. Khanak had been waiting for her, she didn't want to talk in Jai's room. Savita saw her and walked ahead slowly to the kitchen. She followed Ma to the kitchen and gathered loads of courage. For once, Khanak thought of backing out as Ma was not talking to her at all …….but then she thought of Shaan and realized that she had to do this..

Ma was making bhindi with phulkas for dad's lunch, and poha for breakfast and milk was getting boiled at one gas stove. She was busy in her work and was not paying attention to Khanak.

Khanak thought again about whether she should speak……….but finally she pushed herself to speak.

"Ma………."

Savita did not answer her and kept doing her work………Khanak felt as if tears were kept ready on her lashes and she had to just blink to let them flow. But she tried to hold them.

"Ma…..……….please talk to me Ma……."

Savita did not answer her and continued with laying of breakfast.

"Please Ma………… I know that you are disappointed with me………..I've let you down... You trusted me so much, you gave me the freedom to do whatever I wanted and let me go to Mumbai for the job………..I know I have misused that freedom and betrayed your trust…………but please listen to me Ma………just once……….."

Savita did not look at her and slowly walked out of the kitchen…………Khanak ran behind her and held her hand, making her stop.

Savita left a deep breath, stopped but did not look at Khanak…………..Khanak held her hand and dragged her to her own room…….Savita was surprised but didn't say anything.

Khanak brought her inside and made her sit on her bed.

She opened her closets and cabinets………..and took out lots of papers, albums, cards and showed small little things to her……..her tears had started trickling down.

"Look at these Ma………..I didn't fall in love with Shaan after going to Mumbai. I have always loved him…….."

Savita looked at the cards and the albums with Shaan's pics though almost all had Savita with Jai and Shaan. She sighed when she looked at the pictures.

Lots of other things which were even remotely related to Shaan were saved by Khanak as he used to do it.

"I loved him since I was a teenager, Ma………what you saw in form of fights was actually a frustration of not being able to be with him……. I let it out on him. He responded likewise…….."

Savita had tears in her eyes, still she did not speak……….she packed everything together, and kept it back in Khanak's cupboard.

Khanak was surprised that even these things couldn't make Ma talk…. she panicked, "Ma……….he tried to avoid me a lot………he always stayed away………he never wanted to hurt you………but I was persistent………..ever since I went to Mumbai….. I couldn't stay away………."

Savita looked away, biting her lip.

"He was with me at every step in Mumbai………..he helped me at every stage……… I had a severe accident……….."

Savita was worried and looked at her with questioning eyes.

"Yes, Ma………I had a severe accident and he was there at 3.00 am in the morning……. Even though we were not seeing each other……….We didn't tell you so that you don't worry…………….. I was framed in some official security issues, he stood by me so fiercely…….. he denied his promotions and resigned to be with me……….. we wanted to come to Delhi………to our families and parents………….. he respects you so much, I don't need to tell you…………. Ma, even now, if you tell him……………I am sure, he will stop talking to me……."

Savita got up slowly, started to go out but Khanak stopped her way, her tears knowing no bounds and kept trickling in a stream.

Savita crossed her to go out without speaking a word and Khanak's all efforts to make her talk were going futile and she knew that Ma was terribly sad………her face showed it all……………she wasn't talking at all…….and she was very, very sad !!

Savita started to go out again and Khanak tried the last option that Shaan had told her to say……. though she hated herself for saying this, but for once she wanted to trust Shaan as he had told her to and finally, after much thought, she blurted a complete lie, "Ma………..I never knew about Madhavi aunty's involvement in Jai's accident……… …..I had no idea……. And Shaan never told me…………"

Ma stopped and turned back to look at her.

"Had I known about it………….I would have stopped myself……….." she fumbled with words as she knew that it was not true.

Savita sighed visibly and returned back to her and stood facing her. Khanak couldn't meet her experienced eyes and looked down. Savita placed her hand below her chin and raised her face making her look straight…..

"Khanak…………I can believe anything but I can't believe that Shaan cheated on you ………. he will 'never' do it…………….don't try to tell me that he didn't tell you ………. And I know that you will not blame him for anything……… so, he has told you to tell this to me…………tell him that I know him inside out………"

Saying this, Savita turned to go out.

Khanak broke down……….Savita took her hand and made her sit on the bed.

Wiping her tears, she said, "Khanak, I have never considered you a girl……….I have always considered you equal to Jai and after his accident, you are our son…….. we trusted you……."

"I have never broken your trust Ma……...even though we used to live in our own apartments in Mumbai……….. we never crossed any line of decency………. believe me ………… though we have kissed but beyond that we never did anything that would put you to shame……….."

"I am not talking about that………. you are a grown up adult and I have given you values enough to guide you what is good for you and what is not……………. I am talking about the mental stress we went through in past 6 years. You knew about Madhavi, why didn't you tell us?"

"Ma………..even you knew it since last 1 month, but you didn't tell me………even Jai knew, but he didn't discuss with any of us………because all of us were trying to protect each other from getting hurt. I could see Madhavi aunty repenting, doing so much for Jai so that he can stand on his feet again……... for his treatment, for his morale……..Ma, I knew it since a few months…………Shaan had told me right in the beginning, when we confessed to each other that we loved each other."

"You didn't tell me about that too…….."

"I accept that………..I'm sorry," Khanak spoke wiping her tears, "We wanted to tell at the earliest……….. but somehow, it got delayed. Then………"

"Then?"

"No………Nothing………."

"Jai told you not to tell us………right?"

"How do you know?"

"I guessed it, don't forget that I am your ma………..after Ragini's parents behaved like that……..Jai must have thought that we will take out the frustration on Shaan……"

"I didn't know anything about Ragini, Ma…………promise………." She put her hand on her throat pinching the skin there, making Ma smile.

"I know, but Shaan knew about her…………"

"He also got to know yesterday itself, he was about to tell me………."

Ma took her hand in her own, "Khanak, I was very happy the day you were born. I always wanted a daughter for us and a sister for Jai. A girl is her mom's best friend…… ……and I feel I am lucky to have you as my daughter who is perfect when it comes to relationships. You have been my best friend and Jai's confidante in every sense……….I want to see you happy and will do anything to see that you get the best in life but Khanak….. what you are asking right now, is just impossible. I'm sorry…………"

Saying this she stood up to leave the room, leaving Khanak tongue-tied and shocked at what Ma just spoke. Tears kept flowing out and she cried inconsolably.

Khanak stopped her once again, "You are right Ma………..you know Shaan inside out ……… then, you must be knowing very well that he will not deliberately hurt you…..."

She made her sit again holding her hand, and took out Shaan's letter from her closet and thrusted it in her hands, "Please read this letter Ma…………..he had told me everything …….. but when I read how he spent past 6 years, punishing himself for a crime he never did, I didn't have the heart to hold him guilty…………just read, how he was away from everyone………he couldn't see anybody getting hurt………but kept hurting himself with the burden of the guilt…………...and he avoided me too……… even in Mumbai… ……..he stayed away from me………. Please don't hold him responsible Ma…………"

Khanak placed her hand on her mouth to stop crying when Savita held her hand and squeezed it. She looked up………..

Ma had been reading Shaan's letter and couldn't control her flow of emotions which came down through her eyes……………. tears trickled down from her eyes too.

She read the letter and took it to her own room………….leaving Khanak back in her room.

Khanak told each n every word of the interaction first to Jai and then she called Shaan …………. They both heard it but none responded.

……………………………………………………………………..

Two weeks passed……….

Ma was still not talking to anyone……..

Meanwhile, Jai told the whole thing to his papa too. Mr. Sharma, Jai and Khanak's father was a simple man who believed in general goodness of humankind. He had spent good 6 years waiting for justice for his son but when he realized that the culprit was none other than Madhavi, he had forgiven her.

He liked Shaan too but wasn't as close to him as Savita because basically he spoke less and that is why his own kids……Jai and Khanak spoke less with him………naturally Shaan too spoke less with him and hence all were more scared of him as his presence was sometimes used by Savita to scare them from their mischiefs. She use to tell them that she would tell it to papa that they were troubling her and everybody used to get scared. Later, they realized that it was an empty scare as papa was a harmless soul…..

Dadi knocked at Shaan's door……….he was fast asleep, so he didn't answer and dadi slowly stepped in. She placed her hand on his forehead surprising him and he immediately got up……his eyes swollen and a little dark due to stress.

He had not slept well since last 2 weeks………….not met Khanak………..though they had been talking every few hours……..not met Jai……….again, they talked every day….

But he had not talked to Ma in last 2 weeks. This was again the first time as he usually called her at least once a week, even when he was very busy !

Ma had not called him too……

"Shaan…………..where are you lost?" asked dadi.

"Jee dadi………..nothing." he sat up on his bed with a faint smile and looked confused as dadi usually never came up to wake him.

"Nothing ?……………if there is nothing, can you tell me why are you so lost these days?"interrupted Madhavi.

She was standing by the door and came in to sit with dadi and Shaan. She sat beside Shaan and said, "Shaan, you just go to the office and return home, since you have come back from Mumbai, it is almost 2 weeks now……….and then you are directly into your room. You don't interact………you eat late, so we miss you at dining table……..you don't go to sports club anymore and your friends keep calling…."

He got up and went inside the washroom, saying, "it's nothing mom………I have newly joined office………loads of work keeps me busy all the day and then I get tired. I'm fine."

As always, he dismissed all concerns regarding him.

Madhavi looked at her mother-in-law with a worried look and dadi assured her by placing her hand on Madhavi's shoulders.

They both got up and dadi spoke loudly at Shaan's washroom door, "Get ready and come down……….we are waiting for having the breakfast with you."

"Yeah…………." He answered back half heartedly……….he did not want everyone to get depressed with his upset mood so he had started avoiding them.

At the breakfast table, Sunil and Akshay sat with dadi and Madhavi waiting for Shaan. Shaan got ready for the office and looked dapper in a blue-grey shirt with neat dark grey trousers.

"Shaan, I'm really happy with the way you have taken up work. I had never expected that you have gained so much of experience in such a short time."

"Thanks dad……..I'm glad you liked my work."he spoke robotically, without much expressions.

"Liked?... I loved it………….the new ideas and innovative strategies that you have introduced are amazing. I was just telling Akshay that we got you late with us………anyways, from now on, you are going to take care of expansions too."

"Fine, dad…….." Shantanu never shied away from responsibilities, the more….. the better.

Everyone on the table was impressed with the talks as nothing stimulated Shantanu more than work and if there was anything that could get him out of his depressive mood, then it was work.

Finally, Shaan was smiling, though very less………….and very faintly.

Before heading for the office, he went to his room to fetch his laptop and files. He never failed to call 'her' before going to office.

"Hey sweetheart….."

"Good morning, Shaan…."

"Good morning……….you are late………are you still sleeping?"

"How man how?...how can you get up so early in the morning and get ready for work when you were talking to me till 2.00 in the night?" she said yawning, in a sleepy voice.

"You will do that too, once you join office….."

"Shaan……" she twitched her lips in frustration, "when will that happen?"

She was now sitting on the bed………adjusting her skirt…….

"Whenever you decide…………go out and look for a job………."

"Forget it………..I have told Ma that I am going to work only in Shaan's office otherwise not……"

"And?"

"She hasn't replied………."

"I know……….all tricks to make her talk are failing……"

"She just talked once……….when I told her that you didn't tell me about your mom…… ….… she came back defending you….. "Shaan can 'never' cheat on you, Khanak"……."

He smirked, "She still loves me….."

"I know……………Shaan, it is 15 days since she is not talking to anyone. I mean she responds, answers to questions in short sentences, small words but her usual self is lost somewhere."

"Hmm…………I know."

"She is not even talking to papa or Jai………"

"I haven't talked to her in 2 weeks….."

"Why don't you come and talk to her, again?... I think, she will talk to you."

"I know…………..she will………..I just wanted to give her some time that she needs."

"I know, she is missing you ………… and that's killing you too ………Come and talk to her………….15 days is more than enough."

"I will………..after a few days."

"Alright, go to office…………we'll talk later."

"Right…………I'll call you in the lunch time."

"Take care."

"You too."

Shaan had barely reached office and read two files…………his phone rang.

He saw her number flash and immediately picked up.

"Hey !!"

"Shaan………..do you know that your mom has come to our house?"

"My mom? No, I don't know about that………….. we met in the morning at the breakfast table, but she didn't tell me about any such plans."

"She is here since an hour…………I thought she has told you that she is coming. She sat with Jai for some time and now is with Ma, papa."

"Do you know, what they talked?"

"I don't know…………I can't go out……….they are sitting in the lawn."

"It's fine…………I'll see to it."

They were quiet for a moment……

"Working?"

"No, I am just passing time here……."

"Why are you passing time?……….you worked so hard for TGY……… work properly otherwise, I'll complain to Akshay bhaiya……." She teased him.

"I told Akshay that I am just not going to work till I get an efficient assistant……."

"You mean………secretary?" she asked cautiously.

"Yeppp……….."

"Are you getting one?" she sulked.

"Oh yes…………I get what I want………"

"Bye……."

He laughed loudly.

"Oh God ! someone is J….."

"I am not J………….I said bye because I need to change, I am coming to your office to apply for the job……"

He laughed more with this, "No way………… for my secretary's post?"

"Right now, I can do anything to be with you………we haven't met since 2 weeks, remember."

"We are trying to put a good impression on Ma…….."

"It is clearly not working Shaan………….let's change the strategy."

"Meet me then……"

"When and where?"

"After office………I'll tell you where. What will you tell Ma?"

"I will tell her the truth, Maybe she gets stimulated………shouts at me and finally speaks."

"Good idea……..I can't wait for the evening."

"Neither can I….."

………………………………………………………………………..