Gul Khan, what are you playing at? - Page 9

Originally posted by: Jayne

(Ooops...I seem to have posted twice!)

Good post.
Much has already been said on Ms. Gul Khan's shows, so I will refrain from treading the beaten path on this.
However, a much more serious matter has been raised...

On feminism, I have only this to say:

Many people all over the world associate feminism only with activism; but at its core, feminism begins with an instinct and an understanding that things are not equal.

By "feminism", I mean the belief that women should not be disadvantaged by their sex, that they should be recognized as having human dignity equally with men, and the opportunity to live as fulfilling and as as freely chosen lives as men can.

For those women and girls who seem to think we have a lot of 'freedom' now, please bear in mind that the right to vote for women is not even a 100 years old!
Up until then, woman was considered property. (Hint: In a majority of the world, she is still considered thus!)
For every freedom centuries and millennium of blood, sweat, and tears have been shed.

And the freedom we now enjoy is very tenuous at best, just because such women and girls seem to take it for granted.
In fact, I have seen it eroding away, even in Western cultures.
There is an insidious attack and the enemy is from within the ranks!

Especially as it comes to Indian society (though applicable everywhere in various degrees), there is no real freedom.
The woman is still treated as second-class citizen... she is expected to be the model of decorum and decency, work outside the home, take care of the house and the children and be the perfect wife, mother, and DIL.
There are no similar expectations from a man. If he is good, the girl has good luck. If not, oh well!
He is accepted as who he is.

On top of this, women allow almost all lineages to carry the man's name, and also change their name after marriage voluntarily, as if they are property?!
How truly inexcusable and intolerable acts on the part of women, especially those who are educated and/or know better!

And this is just the tip of the ice-berg.
I can go on in length in terms of how serious this issue is, and how this show DOES impact people and its very popularity shows that it is reaching impressionable minds (young and old).
However, others have touched upon some of the salient aspects (for example, pay equity, Roe vs. Wade, moms + grand-moms teaching boys to be egoistic, etc.)

Unlike a handful of discerning members who know to separate this truly abominable fiction from their real lives, majority of the posters are the 'accepting' lot.
I see post after post excusing Mr. Khan's behavior in various ways... most in the name of 'love'.
Trust me (and those handful of women), THAT is NOT love.
No matter how moony-eyed Mr.Khan becomes!

And then to see the hard-fought, hard-won rights of women be so casually taken is truly appalling!

A wake-up call is needed.
The rape in Delhi was not enough, it seems.
And all that woman did was ride a public bus with a guy friend.

When will it be enough?!

Jayne

Well said! When you've brought the topic up of the Delhi rape case.. I'd also like to add that yes.. people DID protest.. but what did the MPs say in the end?? That it was partly the girl's fault for being out late at that time of the night..!!!! I MEAN REALLLYYY???

Plus.. Dabangg 2 came out that week and was a box office blockbuster in a span of a few days! When I heard this news I could hear people say in my head.. 'Yes.. let's protest! That should not have happened!' Half an hour later 'Heyy dude. wanna go catch Dabangg 2? The first one was brilliant!'

Originally posted by: RandomSquared

I think it's just bad storytelling

the writers have this story to tell but they are really bad at showing character progress. I dont think they are trying to advocate that women should be this way or men should be that way. I think they just don't know how to tell a story and develop characters at the same time.

as for how this show influencing young men and women, i do agree that media has a huge impact on our minds. but i also believe that we cant cry foul every time something we done agree with is shown. That is how it is with any form of media. The goal of the show is to tell a story that is engaging, entertaining and gets high ratings. there are shows who's goals are different, shows that want to send out a positive message to its audience about some subject matter. I don't think this show has that kind of goal in mind. As an audience, i watch the episodes i enjoy and dont watch the ones that i think are crap. And I'm a sucker for romance, so hell yea I'll watch the date and hell yea my heart melts with Asad says sorry. That doesn't mean I'll let a guy treat me like that in real life...it just means Qubool Hai is a guilty pleasure. which is what it is meant to be.

you wrote about the Jane Austen books, (well first i don't think we should compare twilight to pride and prejudice considering one is a part of most students high school English curriculum and the other well...)

also 4 Lions shows seemed to be modeled after Mill&Boons. I have never read Mill&Boons but that is her inspiration. If her inspiration was the Jane Austen novels, the characters would be different.

but i still says it's its just bad story telling

I guess you could put it that way too. really bad story telling..

Originally posted by: anoo67

sorry, but i disagree.i always get amused when people put all the responsibilities of educating audiences through a medium which is supposed to entertain.as for people getting influenced by tv shows, there will always be the ones who want to do certain things and then blame it on tv shows or films.by that logic, only ideal characters and ideal situations should be depicted in books or films or tv shows.

I know that it should NOT influence people. But it's a widely known fact that media DOES! I mean.. why do they have education shows on TV.. because they know people love watching things and through that.. they get educated. I mean I can't even count the number of little facts I've learnt through KBC and Who Wants to be a Millionaire (the second particularly because Amitabh drones on and about other things in between each question)!!

My main point is they should exercise caution because it exists. Young girls do get influenced and start romanticizing other things.. eg. Slaps. While most mature audiences were horrified, some people on this forum thought it was 'hot'..! How?!

Originally posted by: aRchiE_frieNds

Aptly said
👏
I'm not a very good writer so it's very hard to pen down my thoughts. But watching these shows everyday with my mom, MIL I've an argument with them ( trust me almost everyday ) when I get upset over how GFs, DIL , women are treated. And to my surprise its not just men , women themselves suppress their rights, which is more troubling. My mom, MIL does try to defend men saying its their nature , that's how men are , women have more inner strength and more patience so they should understand and avoid problems between husband and wife. I'm like what ?
And that what makes even more harder for women to get their rights. I admit my husband is a little short tempered but I never accept if he's wrong , and we do end up sorting our problems. Mine was a arranged marriage and the very first advice my MIL gives me after my wedding is " men get angry easily , they are short tempered but if we keep calm and don't get mad , it won't complicate the situation. And there would be no fight. So you should understand. I'm like " excuse me ? " so unless and until women wouldn't want to take their rights , it's hard to change the whole world. It looks like women themselves are more to fault than men for not getting equal rights, or being abused by men.
Feminism is a big word but I'm sad that its true there are women who try to take unnecessary advantage in the name of feminism and there are some who never get those rights. I hope one day every woman understands the true meaning of Feminism.

PS : sorry it's not related to the post but it does make me upset how women crush down women's rights. That needs to be mended first and men suppressing women will automatically stop. That's my belief.

Really well put! Part of the reason Asad went this far is Zoya herself. I know she has a really bold but really kind hearted nature in her.. but forgiving him easily for when he shouted at her abot the whole peanut thing probably triggered everything. In the real world, a guy would thing, 'oh it's alright.. I'll just buy her a gift and make it up to her if I blame her for my almost death. She'll understand.'!!

And Gul Khan being a woman is showing Zoya putting up with all that..? Shocks me even more..

Thank you for writing this <3 Just the other day I was complaining to a friend of mine how it's so not fair how these male leads like Arnav and Asad get to continuously mistreat the female leads, and they get forgiven literally instantly. I've seen many girls like your cousin who think that way too. Unfortunately it's not just affecting teenage girls, but girls of other ages too. I have friends in their 20s who say they would love to marry a guy like Arnav and Asad, and not care about the mean things they do. Gul needs to come up with something new, this is just getting old.

nice post dear! Indian shows have always shown women weak in this regard!at the name of mahaanta they are shown to take all non-sense coming their way..they have to be sacrificing, forgiving ..No matter how the man treats them-if he is not hitting her-it is allright!..no matter how much mental abuse he causes her, how much he disrespects her, even if he had an affair-a woman is expected to forget and forgive if he is just "Sorry"..a mere sorry makes man take away all the wrong they did.. a woman would be called names if she had a close friendship with a guy and if it is the same case with a man,it is allright!..there have been and there are many shows which still take excuse of woman's pure heart and love to defend their act to let go of things which are clearly not forgivable so easily..at the name of dark heroes,now they have started taking it a point further!..I don't know if you have watched MB becoz it is way worse their-the guy literally phsically and mentally abused the girl and he has such a huge support of girls mostly young who think it is all forgivable even if he does not repent! now the makers are showing the girl forgiving him becoz she is an angel! atleast Asad here has just been a fool who has trust issues because his mindset is set in a way which disapproves of a girl as Zoya because she has her own life and takes her own decisions and wear clothes of her choice..she is a girl who is bindaas and does not live life the way it is expected of her and does not feel that "tehzeeb" has anything to do with what Asad has in his set mind..thats the root of Asad's problem with Zoya..although he has fallen for ZOya, he does not leave a chance to say how she is not right for him! Asad's character has not been shown totally different from what it was showed from the start but showing a girl like ZOya,an independent moden girl, taking all crap thrown at her way just because she has feelings for him is playing with her character!.. It is sad makers show such things and if they are questioned, put it all on it being fictional and our choice to watch it or not. Hopefully in future tv we will see makers who are more responsible than that. I am not asking you to give me social messages but atleast do not promote wrong kind of behaviour when you know your target audience and how it can affect their mind.

Originally posted by: Jayne

<font color="#0000CC" face="Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="3">(Ooops...I seem to have posted twice!)

Good post.
Much has already been said on Ms. Gul Khan's shows, so I will refrain from treading the beaten path on this.
However, a much more serious matter has been raised...

On feminism, I have only this to say:

Many people all over the world associate feminism only with activism; but at its core, feminism begins with an instinct and an understanding that things are not equal.

By "feminism", I mean the belief that women should not be disadvantaged by their sex, that they should be recognized as having human dignity equally with men, and the opportunity to live as fulfilling and as as freely chosen lives as men can.

For those women and girls who seem to think we have a lot of 'freedom' now, please bear in mind that the right to vote for women is not even a 100 years old!
Up until then, woman was considered property. (Hint: In a majority of the world, she is still considered thus!)</font><font color="#0000CC" face="Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="3"><font size="3">
For every freedom centuries and millennium of blood, sweat, and tears have been shed.

And the freedom we now enjoy is very tenuous at best, just because such women and girls seem to take it for granted.
In fact, I have seen it eroding away, even in Western cultures.
There is an insidious attack and the enemy is from within the ranks!

Especially as it comes to Indian society (though applicable everywhere in various degrees), there is no real freedom.
The woman is still treated as second-class citizen... she is expected to be the model of decorum and decency, work outside the home, take care of the house and the children and be the perfect wife, mother, and DIL.
There are no similar expectations from a man. If he is good, the girl has good luck. If not, oh well!
He is accepted as who he is.

On top of this, women allow almost all lineages to carry the man's name, and also change their name after marriage voluntarily, as if they are property?!
How truly inexcusable and intolerable acts on the part of women, especially those who are educated and/or know better!

And this is just the tip of the ice-berg.
I can go on in length in terms of how serious this issue is, and how this show DOES impact people and its very popularity shows that it is reaching impressionable minds (young and old).
However, others have touched upon some of the salient aspects (for example, pay equity, Roe vs. Wade, moms + grand-moms teaching boys to be egoistic, etc.)

Unlike a handful of discerning me</font><font size="3">mbers who know to separate this truly abominable fiction from their real lives, majority of the posters are the 'accepting' lot.
I see post after post excusing Mr. Khan's behavior in various ways... most in the name of 'love'.
Trust me (and those handful of women), THAT is NOT love.
No matter how moony-eyed Mr.Khan becomes!

And then to see the hard-fought, hard-won rights of women be so casually taken is truly appalling!

A wake-up call is needed.
The rape in Delhi was not enough, it seems.
And all that woman did was ride a public bus with a guy friend.

When will it be enough?!

Jayne</font>
</font>

So well said dear!..things are not going to change for woman unless woman themselves learn to respect themselves!..they have to take pride in who they are and not let their soft heart be treated as a sign of weakness. Be bold enough girls to say what is right and what is wrong and take a stand. Do not let yourself be run over by anyone, not even by the ones you love dearly. If they love you, they should learn to treat you equally and respect you. IF we won't consider ourselves as equal, how can we ever be respected equally.

Originally posted by: anoo67

sorry, but i disagree.i always get amused when people put all the responsibilities of educating audiences through a medium which is supposed to entertain.as for people getting influenced by tv shows, there will always be the ones who want to do certain things and then blame it on tv shows or films.by that logic, only ideal characters and ideal situations should be depicted in books or films or tv shows.

If you have read the whole post and the replies that were given out here, you would understand that no one is asking only ideal characters and ideal situations to be depicted here. Rather we are asking the creatives to not show abusive emotional torture as a foil for romance. Romance can also be shown without glorifying physical, emotional abuse by the lead and then saying a simple sorry and pushing it off the carpet as if nothing has happened. The way the whole idea of romance is being portrayed by Gul in this serial is the point of discussion and whether we agree or not, people in social media do have an responsibility on them to see what kind of messages they are sending out. Just hope the creatives and people in media don't brush off everything under the carpet of creativity and actually do a sit back and rethink what they are showing.

Originally posted by: Rockerchic

I am strong believer of control your children.

If children are influenced my the media in such a fickle manner the media is less to blame and the bad parenting more. (In general terms ofc)

I never condone what Gul does but I am vehemently against the fact that the media should should change it's ways because it affects the children. It's the duty to teach the children right and wrong not mend the world to show only the good.

If we do not believe in the freedom of expression of those we dislike we do not believe in it at all. This is Gul's story and she's entitled to it.

Complete freedom of expression is the only side I'm on.

Originally posted by: psarada

If you have read the whole post and the replies that were given out here, you would understand that no one is asking only ideal characters and ideal situations to be depicted here. Rather we are asking the creatives to not show abusive emotional torture as a foil for romance. Romance can also be shown without glorifying physical, emotional abuse by the lead and then saying a simple sorry and pushing it off the carpet as if nothing has happened. The way the whole idea of romance is being portrayed by Gul in this serial is the point of discussion and whether we agree or not, people in social media do have an responsibility on them to see what kind of messages they are sending out. Just hope the creatives and people in media don't brush off everything under the carpet of creativity and actually do a sit back and rethink what they are showing.