Gul Khan, what are you playing at? - Page 7

I like your post and you make many valid points. There are some who may possibly follow what TV shows are portraying, and there are some who may not. This is the problem; the audience for any show is so vast and varied that it is impossible to address each group. For example, when I was younger I strictly stuck to cartoons, but this is not the case anymore with kids nowadays. Shows such as Indian dramas should show positive messages, such as a strong female lead. But honestly, no matter what is shown it will have positive and negative outcomes; this is something that can't be controlled. I do feel Asad needs to be a lot less mean and I hope he will change. Zoya needs to become her assertive self again, which has most probably been affected by love. At the end of the day we have to differentiate between real and reel (which can be hard for some), and take everything with a grain of salt.

P.s. Not trying to justify any character or action

Media has a huge impact .. Especially to the young teenage souls... Obviously the understanding and ability to differentiate comes with a little thought, time and maturity.. Bit neither the less, it does still impact people some way or the other.. Whether its look wise, attitude wise, action wise, etc...

(Ooops...I seem to have posted twice!)

Good post.
Much has already been said on Ms. Gul Khan's shows, so I will refrain from treading the beaten path on this.
However, a much more serious matter has been raised...

On feminism, I have only this to say:

Many people all over the world associate feminism only with activism; but at its core, feminism begins with an instinct and an understanding that things are not equal.

By "feminism", I mean the belief that women should not be disadvantaged by their sex, that they should be recognized as having human dignity equally with men, and the opportunity to live as fulfilling and as as freely chosen lives as men can.

For those women and girls who seem to think we have a lot of 'freedom' now, please bear in mind that the right to vote for women is not even a 100 years old!
Up until then, woman was considered property. (Hint: In a majority of the world, she is still considered thus!)
For every freedom centuries and millennium of blood, sweat, and tears have been shed.

And the freedom we now enjoy is very tenuous at best, just because such women and girls seem to take it for granted.
In fact, I have seen it eroding away, even in Western cultures.
There is an insidious attack and the enemy is from within the ranks!

Especially as it comes to Indian society (though applicable everywhere in various degrees), there is no real freedom.
The woman is still treated as second-class citizen... she is expected to be the model of decorum and decency, work outside the home, take care of the house and the children and be the perfect wife, mother, and DIL.
There are no similar expectations from a man. If he is good, the girl has good luck. If not, oh well!
He is accepted as who he is.

On top of this, women allow almost all lineages to carry the man's name, and also change their name after marriage voluntarily, as if they are property?!
How truly inexcusable and intolerable acts on the part of women, especially those who are educated and/or know better!

And this is just the tip of the ice-berg.
I can go on in length in terms of how serious this issue is, and how this show DOES impact people and its very popularity shows that it is reaching impressionable minds (young and old).
However, others have touched upon some of the salient aspects (for example, pay equity, Roe vs. Wade, moms + grand-moms teaching boys to be egoistic, etc.)

Unlike a handful of discerning members who know to separate this truly abominable fiction from their real lives, majority of the posters are the 'accepting' lot.
I see post after post excusing Mr. Khan's behavior in various ways... most in the name of 'love'.
Trust me (and those handful of women), THAT is NOT love.
No matter how moony-eyed Mr.Khan becomes!

And then to see the hard-fought, hard-won rights of women be so casually taken is truly appalling!

A wake-up call is needed.
The rape in Delhi was not enough, it seems.
And all that woman did was ride a public bus with a guy friend.

When will it be enough?!

Jayne

I'm a rare poster, but this is such an interesting topic, I couldn't resist adding my two cents. Whatever they're worth.

First, I think you bring up some valid points. There is certainly a lot of creative liberty taken with how much Zoya is willing to put up with and how "abusive" Asad can be. But I use abusive with quotes for a reason. Is he difficult to deal with? Sure. Are his bipolar mood swings infuriating? Absolutely. But I don't think his behavior can really constitute as "abuse" -- not once in all of his asshole-ery has he ever had any malicious or ill-spirited intentions towards Zoya. Abuse is all about devaluing a person -- Asad's mood swings are a consequence of actually how much he values Zoya. It's because of how high his expectations are for her that when something goes wrong, he channels his disappointment into a temper tantrum. Yes, those "expectations" can be everything from unrealistic to archaic, but that's just the flip side of the characteristic traits we all do adore about him: his chivalry, his thoughtfulness, his old-school but classically romantic views of love and marriage.

Which is all to say, I just don't think it's as simple as "He's a jerk" and "She's a wimp." I think it's a lot more complicated than that -- he's got his baggage, she's got hers, they've both indelibly affected each other's personalities, and the relationship is a complicated one. He's changed, and she's changed, and they'll continue to change as they stumble around and figure out what they really mean to each other. It's messy, it's not always happy, and it makes far better drama than reality -- but I think it's also much, much, more than a simple case of "abuse."

As for the message it sends to young viewers: couldn't you say the same thing for 99% of what's on TV not just in India, but all over the world? Doesn't mean it's right, it just means it's a much broader and widespread problem than this specific show and these specific characters. So we choose what we can tolerate based on our personal preferences -- and for me, as long as Asad Ahmed Khan keeps apologizing with those heartbreakingly swoony eyes, I'll continue forgiving him right along with Zoya. But I'm also shallow and dream about having a really scandalous and steamy affair with Karan Singh Grover. Priorities, you know? 😉

I totally agree with .I would not tolerate such non sense from any guy even if he loves me from bottom of his heart. The way asad treats zoya is totally unacceptable. I am a die hard Asad Zoya fan and was of the opinion that they should be always together and if zoya ends with Ayaan and Asad with Tanveer then I would totally stop watching the show. But over past few days some how I have started feeling that Asad does not deserve Zoya but someone better and yes Asad deserves someone like Tanveer. He deserves a harsh treatment in form of Tanveer.

A very logical and necessary post. Loved it

Wonderful post. After ages may be I saw some sensible post on this forum. I agree 100% with you - the shows should show something meaningful and not portray this kind of torture as romance.

I think it's just bad storytelling

I tried my hardest but I couldn't resist. Here is my two cents:

Agree with you 100%. I never understood complicated "love" stories that had woman enduring pain (emotional or physical) just to stay with the man she has fallen for. Real life is different from the stories in shows and book. But wait a minute, when has the media EVER been realistic in everything it shows? From shows, to ads, to news and even books/magazines, we are exposed to unrealistic stories (lies I say). This fact doesn't justify Gul's or any of the above mentioned author's actions/preferences but you see what I am saying?! Their job (let's be honest here) isn't to write stuff that sets a role model image to people (though some shows do that)...rather it's entertainment. An idea that is viral or is intriguing (catches a huge audience) is the selected one. No one thinks of social responsibility or ethical due diligence to community members when the make movies, shows or books.