Bahaana & ghamand - Page 5

Originally posted by: Missesha

@Skepblun,

I don't think Ira is deliberately hurting Shiv

When Ira said she feels like an Aaya, she actually does. She probably wanted to raise only and only her biological child, which is within her rights. So upbringing someone else's child as her own, only to realise that she lost all her rights on him makes her feel like an aaya. Hence she said all that to daddu. At that time she did not know Shiv is over-hearing.

So Ira can be excused for honestly blurting her emotions to daddu when her wound was raw and deep.

Knowingly, Ira has not hurt Shiv. She welcomed him in her room and tried to tell him that we have to accept reality'. She is not being rude to him but she does not feel right to be called his mother either. Besides, she knows Shiv's heart will yearn for his biological mother too and eventually Ira will lose him to Meenu. Even if Shiv and Meenu continue to give Ira the rights, the reality won't let her feel the satisfaction of motherhood. Hence she is deliberately trying to take a step back, and push away Shiv to his mother.

It is not easy for Shiv or Ira, at any cost, but it's not something they can easily forget and move on.

Originally posted by: tinoo

Why is Ira hurting shiv??

Because she feels hurt that he went to the hospital to check the records WITHOUT EVEN CONFIDING IN HER.

As an adopted mother, I personally would feel very hurt and angry if the child I raised suddenly upped and took off in search of his biological mother without discussing the matter with me and taking me into confidence.

I would wonder if my love was less or something, that shiv felt the need to even go and verify the hospital register.

In Ira's place I would expect that much loyalty from shiv where he would stand his ground and say "I dont trust a hospital register over my own mother. Only Ira is my mother."

But no... he didn't do that. At the first drop of a hat, he went rushing off to check his hospital record.

Naturally Ira would be irritated.

The correct way to do it would have been to bring this to Ira's notice ... and then HE AND IRA BOTH should have gone to the hospital to check the records.

Naturally Ira will feel that shiv was looking for another mom because he doubts her.

If shiv had taken ira into confidence and both of them had gone to the hospital, then she would have felt close to shiv.

Originally posted by: tinoo

I fail to understand why Ira needs to think of OTHER PEOPLE in this mess. She is not mahaan anandi who is always thinking of other people.

Ira is a normal human being and if thinking only of herself and her perspective makes her selfish, then so be it.

I fail to understand also why Ira should "understand" or "applaud" Meenu's sacrifice -- she didn't ask Meenu to give up her child to her... nor did she want a child at this cost ... nor did she want someone else's child.

Nobody asked for Ira's consent in this whole drama.

Just because somebody does something for someone else, does not mean that the beneficiary of the action automatically sees it as a "favour" and has to be "grateful"

Let us be clear that Meenu is NOT a martyr in this whole saga.

I empathize with Ira because I too don't like people who do something on their own, and then try to generate an obligation, which I am then expected to understand or repay .. when I did not want it in the first place.

In Ira's place, I too would have kicked Meenu to the side for deceiving me for thirty years.

In addition, in what way has Meenu been deprived per se? What did meenu "give up" exactly? she breastfed shiv, she has always been a co-mother to shiv and was intefering so much in his engagement plans and wedding plans to anandi that we on the forum used to wonder what the heck was wrong with choti mom.

Conversely, she never has taken that much interest in saanchi -- none of saanchi's life, none of saanchi's marriage plans to Jagya ...nothing. She was just silent from start to finish during this whole Jagya saanchi engagement to wedding break up to courtroom scenario. She had a few lines but she never showed any ownership of saanchi or saanchi's life, even though saanchi too calls her "choti maa".

And even if meenu gave up something for shiv, that is her choice to do so.

more than meenu, alok deceived ira. he is her husband. he should have told ira. likewise meenu deceived anup. she should've asked anup before taking such decision.
ira is right to feel angry at meenu she doesn't need to think about her this time. i think meenu had a big heart to give shiv away but that does not mean she mahaan neither should ira feel indebted to her. it was her decision.
it'll take a while for ira to get over this. whatever ira is feeling is understandable.
talking of ira not taking interest in saanchi, well neither does ira think much of mahi. the relationships in this family are weird. it seems like they are only named, no meaning behind them.

Originally posted by: tinoo

I fail to understand why Ira needs to think of OTHER PEOPLE in this mess. She is not mahaan anandi who is always thinking of other people.

Ira is a normal human being and if thinking only of herself and her perspective makes her selfish, then so be it.

I fail to understand also why Ira should "understand" or "applaud" Meenu's sacrifice -- she didn't ask Meenu to give up her child to her... nor did she want a child at this cost ... nor did she want someone else's child.

Nobody asked for Ira's consent in this whole drama.

Just because somebody does something for someone else, does not mean that the beneficiary of the action automatically sees it as a "favour" and has to be "grateful"

Let us be clear that Meenu is NOT a martyr in this whole saga.

I empathize with Ira because I too don't like people who do something on their own, and then try to generate an obligation, which I am then expected to understand or repay .. when I did not want it in the first place.

In Ira's place, I too would have kicked Meenu to the side for deceiving me for thirty years.

In addition, in what way has Meenu been deprived per se? What did meenu "give up" exactly? she breastfed shiv, she has always been a co-mother to shiv and was intefering so much in his engagement plans and wedding plans to anandi that we on the forum used to wonder what the heck was wrong with choti mom.

Conversely, she never has taken that much interest in saanchi -- none of saanchi's life, none of saanchi's marriage plans to Jagya ...nothing. She was just silent from start to finish during this whole Jagya saanchi engagement to wedding break up to courtroom scenario. She had a few lines but she never showed any ownership of saanchi or saanchi's life, even though saanchi too calls her "choti maa".

And even if meenu gave up something for shiv, that is her choice to do so.

Very well said, and agree with you.