Shiv was too harsh towards his mother

Shiv was too harsh towards his mother in front of everybody. Instead he could have taken her aside and explained and convinced. It takes patience and time and Shiv can spare that much time for his mother.

Originally posted by: leavesandwaves

Shiv was too harsh towards his mother in front of everybody. Instead he could have taken her aside and explained and convinced. It takes patience and time and Shiv can spare that much time for his mother.

Originally posted by: Sheetsden

I don't think he was very harsh with her. The way Ira was talking about anandi any husband would defend his wife. The spoiler for this week says he will again try to convince Ira about this whole MU.

She is his mother and with mothers children should have more patience. Insulting his mother for her chota soch and looking at her harshly without trying to understand her point of view due to sudden revelations is not correct. Ira was asking inconvenient questions to anandi for which anandi had no definite answer. Shiv could have handled the situation better.

I agree with leavesandwaves.

Mothers are always so patient towards their kids. They do so much for their kids only to get this in return?

Kids should also be patient and understanding!

Shiv should not have talked like that in front of everyone to defend his wife.

Wife is important for sure. But is your mother not important?

Shiv is a failure when it comes to balancing between his parents and wife.

Shiv can understand DS' stupidity. But can he not understand his mother's concerns, psyche and insecurities and deal with her accordingly?

He does not realise that the way he behaved, he ended up antagonising his mother more. He fuelled her insecurities and made her believe her son was no longer hers but in complete influence of his wife.

It's a fact women get insecure even as the son grows up. They wonder if they'd be as important in their son's life after the son's married. They give their all to their sons. So they can't bear it if son ignores or rebukes them to take side of wife.

Anandi's family did make a mistake here and so did Shiv for not telling the truth. Ira has every right to feel angry.

Shiv should have politely and tactfully handled the situation, acknowledging his mother's concerns - instead of coming down on her like a ton of bricks.

He needs to make Ira feel that he is no less understanding and loyal towards her than he is towards his wife and in laws.

Well, you have forgotten that this issue would have not come so far had Saachi not had such a negative mindset towards Anandi and instigating her. What would happen when Ira comes to know that Saachi is liking Jagya and has started having the feeling of love towards him. Then would Ira behave the same like she did with Anandi.

Ira should have also not spoken so harshly about Anandi being a balika vadhu and a divorcee and hence not getting any proposals.

Shiv is right in defending Anandi. Ira should not forget that Anandi is trying to build relationships while her own daughter Saachi is trying to destroy the same.

@Chandu

No matter what, Shiv had no right to talk the way he did. He is not Ira's parent.

Also I am surprised how some people here defend DS and rationalise her actions saying she did everything out of love. But they have problems with genuine anger of Ira!

Ira has been more than permissive towards Anandi. And Singhs.

She had UD as another proof. She did not just react at her daughter's revelation.

She is totally justified to feel bad for her son, herself and her family for this blunder made by Singhs.

And it's a fact people want the best for their kids. A child bride or divorced woman from village is never really anyone's preferred choice.

Why are you bringing Jagya here? Ira still does not know about Sanchi's love for him. Who knows how she will react? You think she will readily favour her daughter to marry a divorced guy that too a guy who is her DIL's ex husband?!

Why only think of Ira? Tell me how Shiv would behave when he learns of Sanchi's love for J? Will he agree to let her marry even a reformed Jagya? No!

Why does Sumitra make faces at Ganga whenever DS praises her or compares her to Anandi? Why does she throw away photos of divorced girls while selecting a match for Jagya?

They want fresh match for their kids! Everyone has that mindset. Why only blame Ira?

Singhs made a blunder. Shiv did not tell family about the truth nor allowed Anandi to tell them. They heard from another party. It's a big thing and obviously something that would make any doting parent from a respectable family angry!

Ira is progressive MIL to have selected Anandi and not objecting to Singhs or Anandi's ex still hovering around. Now she does not even have right to react to BS that DS does?

Just put yourselves in Ira's place and think!

You have lot of dreams for your son yet one fine day he out of the blue tells you he wants to get married to a girl he has chosen on his own. You happily agree because it's your laadla beta. You ask him who it is and and you know it's some village girl, who is divorced and lived most of her life as a child bride!

Wouldn't you be shocked and have an unsettling feeling?

You still decide to give this a chance out of love for your son and agree to see the girl - you see she's won awards, is into social work and her manners are good. So you convince yourself it is fine.

You witness your son being there are beck and call of those village haveli walas (even before engagement!) to tackle their matters and help find their son who's your would-be-DIL's ex husband. You remain silent even when you see your samdhis asking your would-be-DIL to do "natak" for their "sick" son (ie her ex husband). Yet you only make a face but do not say a word to your son or anyone else.
You see how your would be DIL's ex husband hovers around all the time and DIL's family keeps calling at odd hours without concer for you or your son's privacy. But you tolerate it all.
Your son stays away from you but you bear it. You notice your DIL does not even share same bed with your son. You express concern but you are quelled and suppressed. You also later let it be.
Your DIL's ex husband visits your house but you're cordial and never have problem for a second.
Your husband compares you and your skills to those of DIL inferiorly in front of whole family yet you take no offense and laugh it off.
You are made to understand, adjust and apologise at every instant you have reservations about your DIL or her family. But still you bear it and behave normally with DIL and others.

Now you learn that your DIL's dadi was slandering your son and defaming his character bigtime to others who were prospective match for him. And that everyone knew about it but they remained silent (your son included). As a doting mother you have no right to feel angry, cheated and offended?
Your son uses harsh words at you in front of everyone. Your son is willing to understand your DIL's dadi but not you. Your son will instantly trash you to defend his wife.
Even your husband and FIL only corner you and try to "make you understand" (for the umpteenth time!). They do not even tell your son to behave and at least use proper words while talking to you. Rather they only give benefit of doubt to obviously errant samdhis and come to teach you lessons.

How are you supposed to feel? You've been in family for decades. You give your all to them. Your son has forgotten he is also your son and not only someone's husband. New people like samdhis or DIL deserve to be defended no matter what. Whereas you, who nurtured the family and made the son what he is today, have to apologise, compromise, adjust and "understand" every time even if your concerns are genuine? And you just want the best for your son and family?

Being the son's mother, Ira had right to react strongly to many situations (awkward ones) brought by Singhs. She had right to disapprove of her son's choice too. But she did nothing and only kept giving in. She is not even 1/100th as tyrannical as a typical Indian MIL can get.

For all her permissiveness and understanding she is getting to face new tamashas ever now and then due to Singhs and Anandi's silence. What's she supposed to do? Always keep patience or keep laughing at whatever that happens? She has no right to lose patience? She's only there as a wallflower in her family now? She has no sentiments or hopes?

People can bark at Sanchi. But Ira's concerns are not wrong.

She has already made too many compromises out of love for her son and never put her foot down even in situations where she had the right to.

Maa sirf har baat mein aashirwaad dene ke liye aur haan mein haan milane ke liye nahi hoti!

With her reaction she has clearly indicated she will not tolerate BS and lies. Singhs can walk all over Shiv but not her.
Shiv and Anandi will also learn not to hide anything from Ira & family. They have to balance both families. They cannot expect one family to keep laughing and bearing everything while they keep serving & covering up blunders of another family.

I think this incident will also make Anandi take Shekhars seriously as her priority. She cannot just make food for them and expect them laugh off every matter. Sentiments of Shekhars should be as important to her as sentiments of DS & Singhs!

Shiv and Anandi needed a reality check in balancing relationships.

Originally posted by: leavesandwaves

Shiv was too harsh towards his mother in front of everybody. Instead he could have taken her aside and explained and convinced. It takes patience and time and Shiv can spare that much time for his mother.

Shiv is a jhoru ka ghulam... what else can be expected from him?

He was a real disgrace to any mother today. It is right to support your wife but wrong to insult your own mother in front of her.

How ungrateful he was to warn his own family not to treat his wife badly. They were always nice and kind to her, how could he even say that?

I didn;t watch the episode nor do I have any intention to do so. If shiv did say such things to Ira then he is absolutely wrong. There is a way to handle things and I am sure Ira just got pissed with A just cause of Shiv's way towards her.

Originally posted by: Suchi-Virmanian

I didn;t watch the episode nor do I have any intention to do so. If shiv did say such things to Ira then he is absolutely wrong. There is a way to handle things and I am sure Ira just got pissed with A just cause of Shiv's way towards her.

He needs to learn how to balance between wife and mom. No insulting should be done. These matters are very sensitive and need to be handled carefully. Yes Ira is wrong but does not mean he speaks with her with harsh words.

He was good during the whole.. Ira coming and asking about his love life.. he handled her smoothly.

anywayzz ...

good I didn't watch today's episode