The parent, NEW THREAD-PAGE 1,MAY 1,2013 - Page 68

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-lakshmi- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
palin missing u yaar...

update this na... its been longgg...

am also waiting for our super maan entry...
Edited by -lakshmi- - 12 years ago
palindrome thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: -lakshmi-

palin missing u yaar...

update this na... its been longgg...

am also waiting for our super maan entry...


I am writing it lakshmi..
give me some time...😊
Susegad thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: palindrome


I am writing it lakshmi..
give me some time...😊


Abhi post karogi?
What does some time mean? 😕
palindrome thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Susegad


Abhi post karogi?
What does some time mean? 😕

15-20 mins parjai ji...
Susegad thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: palindrome

15-20 mins parjai ji...


Alright!! Waiting to reserve. 😃
palindrome thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Chapter 6

"Parent.."
AT PRESENT...

A smile appeared on his lips watching the enthusiasm and excitement of the people who had come at the airport to receive their relatives.He terribly missed the warmth of his grandma's hug as he saw an aged lady hugging a man and kissing his fore-head.Sight made him regret his decision of not telling anyone about his sudden arrival except his "Sir jee"..Well,he knew about his arrival because he was the only reason behind his sudden visit to India..
He came out of the "Terminal three" of Indira Gandhi International Airport as his eyes roamed around to find a taxi for himself..He had to cross a big line of parked vehicles to reach the taxi stand.
"Apollo Hospital" Maan told the taxi driver as he settled himself in the comfort of "air conditioned" Car.Roads were butter smooth in the vicinity of Airport but a few "potholes" started making their appearances as taxi moved away from the airport.Instead of irritating him,the sudden jerks gave him the sense of "belongingness"and "familiarity" to the city,where he was born and brought up.Delhi had not changed much in last four years except construction of more "flyovers" and wide expansion of "Metro network" through out city.When he had left for Canada,There were only Blue,Red and yellow lines..Two more colors were being added in Metro line in his absence.
Driver gave him a strange and incredulous look as he found him lowering the car window at the traffic signal. Maan was the first passenger in his taxi who was not irked by long line of vehicles on congested road.Soon the artificial smell of "air freshener" was vanished from the taxi as Maan inhaled the smell of "Delhi".As per his opinion,Each place and person has its own characteristic smell"He knew when he would unpack his luggage,his clothes would smell of his house in "Canada"..He had missed most his grandma's fragrance in these four years, when she used to come in his room every morning to wake him up.It was the mixture of fragrances of oldest cosmetic cream "Boroline" ,sandal paste left on her fingers after putting tilak on idols and incense sticks.He wished he could somehow collect it in a bottle and take it with him everywhere.He needed her most at this moment as his heart was continuously praying for "well being" of his sir jee who was struggling with his life in the hospital.He had suffered a major heart attack three days ago .Maan was hell worried when he received a call from hospital staff regarding "ill health" of his sirjee. He did not waste a single minute to make arrangements for his urgent visit to India after that as he knew he was the only family his sirjee had except "Suta" .She was his twelve or thirteen years old daughter..
Moisture welled in his eyes as he remembered the day which initiated his special relation with his "sir jee"..He himself was fourteen then...

He saw the shame and embarrassment on his mother's face as the principal showed her the "note book" of her son's classmate. Whole page was filled with infamous hindi profanities. Mamta was able to recognize Maan's handwriting as she gave an angry glare to him before apologizing to Principal. Maan gritted his teeth amidst tears in his eyes because his mother did not feel the need to talk to him even once before believing the mistake,his class teacher and principal had accused him for.He then smiled amusingly at his own thought.His mother had wasted enough time in coming to his school to entertain her son's complaint.She would not waste anymore in knowing his son's opinion about the whole thing.Though Mamta was pained watching her son's deed but she did not question principal's allegation because She was well aware of Maan's rude and changed behaviour at home since his father's death.
Principal was angry watching Maan grinning shamelessly instead of apologizing.He was about to suspend him for one week,when he heard a knock at the door.
Mr.Ashok Mehta,Maan's Science teacher entered principal's office.. Maan was surprised beyond limits as he found "Ashok sir" speaking in his favour infront of principal.He argued that Maan was surely provoked and He could not be solely responsible for such behaviour. There should be some other student involved in this.
"I am not convinced with you.Mr.Mehta,though I don't completely blame this boy for his behaviour.." Principal exclaimed looking towards Maan."His parents have failed in their rearing.." He continued further moving his gaze from maan to Mamta..
Principal's words infuriated Mamta quite badly.."Excuse me principal sir..He is studying in your school since Lower KG..He is spending nine hours of his day daily in your school since he was four..He has learned as much in his school as much he has learned in his house..If its my failure then you and all the teachers of your school have also failed in teaching him good manners..." Mamta spoke gritting her teeth. Her words made the principal speechless.
"I want to talk to my son for a while.."
A teacher's faith in maan gave some relief to Mamta's heart.Now she wanted to know maan's point of view.
"I have nothing to say.." Maan denied.
"You won't even tell me maan.."Mr. Ashok intervened.."I am here to save you boy..Don't disappoint me.." He continued looking in chocolate brown eyes of young boy standing infront of him.
Mamta was pleasantly surprised when her stubborn son agreed to open his mouth on his teacher's persisting.One classmate of maan was troubling him continuously since last fifteen days by scribbling profanities in maan's notebook.Maan's dam of patience broke when he found Motherfu**** written on the page in his notebook .In the result,maan had written all the profanities,he had heard till now, in that boy's notebook.However maan was not as smart as that boy.Boy had used "pencil" to write them and he erased every word from maan's notebook before showing his own notebook to teacher with an innocent face next day.
Revelation was quite surprising for everyone..That boy was called to principal's office and he admitted his mistake after few denials.While maan was given "detention" for three hours,the other boy was suspended for one week.
'Thank you sir.." Mamta heard her son thanking his teacher.
She gave a content smile because finally she had found a tutor who could cope up with her son's stubbornness..

"We have reached the hospital.."
Driver's voice broke maan's chain of thoughts.He paid the driver hurriedly as his trembling steps entered the hospital...
*******************************
He could hear her giggles.He could hear her calling him "papa" in her babyish voice.He closed his ears to stop the voice of his daughter.He removed his hands from his ears after some time.There was a silence in the air for a while which was broken by his daughter's voice as she called him "papa" again.This time,her voice was teary and hurt.Restlessness grew in his heart as he searched his daughter in the darkness that was surrounding him.
"Where are you baby??" He yelled.
"Papa"..She called him again. His steps followed her voice in their own accord.
He smiled little as he saw her standing near some door with her arms wide open for him. He ran towards her.Before he could take his little daughter in his arms,door was suddenly closed.He knocked at the door repeatedly as he pleaded to open it.
Door was opened but instead of his daughter,"She" had opened the door.Immense Fear in her "innocent" hazels burned his flesh with regret.Trail of wetness on her "salwar" once again proved him a "monster"..He turned away and ran as fast as could..He could hear his daughter calling him again but he ignored her voice...His path was suddenly blocked by that "furious" lady as she asked ,"why did you rape my daughter,Shoki???"

He opened his eyes with a jerk as he recognized the prick of needle which was piercing his vain and irking beeps of sophisticated machines which were monitoring his "left over" life.His anticipating eyes darted towards the door of ICU once again.Oxygen mask had veiled the tiny smile that his lips had carved as he saw maan entering inside.
Maan controlled his tears as he sat beside his sirjee and held his hand.At the age of forty three,weakness and illness had made him look like seventy. Ashok tried to remove the oxygen mask from his mouth but was stopped immediately by the nurse present in the room.Maan could read the plea in his tired eyes.His sirjee wanted to talk to him.
"Sister,he wants to talk to me..Can you please remove the mask for a while..???"He requested the nurse.
"Fine but don't let him stress himself too much.." Nurse warned before leaving the ward.
"Thanks for coming .." Ashok said with much effort.Words came out like a whisper from his white and dry lips as maan had to bring his ear near his mouth to hear his words.
"Why did not you call me earlier,sir jee??" Maan grumbled. Ashok had suffered a mild Heart attack three months ago too.Since then his health was deteriorating continuously.
Ashok responded to Maan's complaint with a weak smile as he asked him to pick some envelopes kept on the table.There were two envelopes on the table.One of them had "For Suta" written on it,where as other one was for Maan himself. Maan opened the envelope having his name on it.It had the details of Ashok's bank balance,Fixed deposits, one bank locker along with the "papers"of small house he owned.He had already made "Maan" his nominee for his saving account.
"This is all,I could earn in my life.." Maan heard his "sirjee" say.
"You would earn more in future..I won't let you go.." Maan exclaimed in response.
"My time has come,Maan..I was just waiting for you.."Ashok said breathing heavily. Maan tried to put back the oxygen mask on his nose but he did not let him..
"Maan..Suta.." Ashok spoke further..
"Should I call her sirjee..???" Maan asked holding ashok's hand once again.
"No..no..She is having her final exams..Don't tell her even about my death right now.."
"You are not going anywhere sir jee.." Maan repeated..
"I want a "promise" from you maan.."
"Anything you say sirjee.."
"Promise me,you would take care of my daughter after me.."
"I would sir jee.."
"Don't be her "guardian" maan..Be her Father..Be her "Parent".." Ashok exclaimed with labored breaths.
"I would sir jee.."
Ashok wanted to thank him but did not have the strength to speak anymore.Maan was about to palce the oxygen mask on his nose when he found Ashok's eyes getting abnormally wide. Next he heard "Wahe guru" escaping his lips before his body got still.Despite the loud beep of machine,maan made a desperate effort to find his sirjee's "pulse".A lone tear that left his eye after a while, evidenced the failure of his effort.His sirjee was gone...



Edited by palindrome - 12 years ago
Susegad thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago



Ahh doing victory dance. Kitne dino baad mera kahi pe pehla number laga hain.😃

Edited:

OK, so I just realized that I have not commented on chapter 5 and since both the chapters have almost the same theme I am going to combine them together and comment.

I remember when you me and Ritzy discussed about how you were going to punish the characters and whether that was the correct route to go.

I was thinking about it for sometime after that and I remembered Baba telling me about t a book many years ago called "Crime and Punishment" by Fyodor Dostyoevski(i am sure I have murdered that name😆) I believe there is an old Raj Kapor movie on the same but I don' remember the name.
It is about a man and how in a moment of rage, he commits a murder and how his guilt consumes him alive. It affects every relationship,every nuance of his life and how he starts crumbling from inside. He is finally compelled by his own self to confesses the crime to escape himself and accepts punishment that is due to him and finally finds a semblance of peace.

Now coming to "The Parent". I think Darji's punishment was befitting his crime. His was not a crime where redemption was likely. Not after destroying the lives of both his grand-daughters and his conscience knew it. No human punishment can be greater or harsher than the one meted out by our conscience. For we can perhaps escape the law, but our conscience is with us constantly and it reminds us forever of the wrongs we have committed and there is absolutely no escape.

Same is the case with Shoki. I am not surprised that we was a good teacher to Maan. He committed a crime unconciously, but his regret the next morning and when he looked upon Geet and her fear at Rano's house has probably been with him forever. Only people who have no regrets are 'psychopaths." But his defense of Maan shows him to be a highly conscionable and a good man, who committed a crime in a moment of imbibed weakness.

I am amazed at the depth of human understanding you have shown in these last 2 chapters Pilli. I am also intrigued by how you have connected all these characters, especailly Maan and Shoki. Every character that you have written for this story is neither black nor white. They all have, as in real life grey shades to them, some more more darker than the others.
Every human, every day, fights with the right and wrong choices and it is only our inner voice that guides us if we are willing to listen. But the moment we try to ignore that voice, it's guaranteed that we have made the wrong choice.
I love the uniqueness of the name 'Suta" an am waiting to find more about how the whole thing has come about.
This is turning to be a phenomenal story that has me spell bound and in awe of the diversity of your writing.

Ok now I will shut up, I think.😆

Edited by Susegad - 12 years ago
scorpiodreams thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
wov...entry of maan. so ashok sir is 'shoki'. so does that mean, 'suta' is geet's daughter? never expected shoki to be a responsible teacher/person. sure that people lose their morals and thinking power when drunk. wonder what happened to geet.
saro thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Emotional update... Waiting for more dear...
Asmi13 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Oh Maan's sirjee is Geet's husband & d lil kid is probaly their daughter as Geet has not taken d pill but where is Geet now...she will be grown up by now as Maan has...Shoki took promise from Maan that he will be his daughter's parent & Geet is already her biological parent maybe...ab kuch kuch samaj aa raha hai😊

Awesome part

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