I always thought it was a big problem of our Asian society that women are held responsible for every possible thing that goes wrong.
In today's modern world, we know that it's not only because of women that many families do not have any children. But many people, especially elderly ones, refuse to believe that also men can be disabled to produce children for different biological reasons.
A friend of mine, who's been married for six years, does not have any children due to a disease that her husband suffered from many years ago and as a consequence of his healthy life, he can't produce any children. And although her mother-in-law knows very well that it's because of her son, she keeps blaming my friend for that and never forgets to mention that she's one good mother-in-law who wouldn't ever want her son to marry another woman for children.
I wonder, why her mother-in-law does that? Does she think it's a shame if men, the "powerful" gender, are not able to do something? Or does she find it easier to blame her daughter-in-law to satisfy herself that the problem is not in a person of her family, but the girl? Why doesn't she want to face the reality?
I find this whole thing so cruel. How can a woman be so uncaring towards another woman's feeling when it's not even her fault? [I mean, it's not the man's fault, either] Why blaming people for this medical, biological problem which they are not to be held responsible for?
From what I read in ur message. The fault lies equally with your FRIEND as much as her MIL.... The MIL ofcourse having the upper hand... You say in your posting you WONDER why the MIL does that... don't you ever wonder WHY is your FRIEND taking this kind of treatment...????If she loves her husband and is happy then they should just move out of the JOINT FAMILY house... otherwise she has to retort to other options.
Why is your FRIEND tolerating this kind of SUPPRESSION. WHy cant she fight for her own rights ? Does she expect her husband to fight for her and raise his voice against his own mom. Such things don't happen .
Firstly she needs to CONFIDE in her hubby and let him know exactly how she feels... very important. If she is fortunate enough he may even support her for that she needs to start the process...
I always think we shouldn't let ANYONE take UNFAIR advantage of us... We need to SPEAK up clear and loud and voice our OPINIONS when we think something is WRONG.
It all boils down to the simple fact that young GIRLS in our culture/ SUB CONTINENT are encouraged to being submissive . They are brought up with the idea of ADJUSTING and COMPROMISING right from childhood.... and thats what they do all their lives...
Amy... IF your FRIEND is nice to her MIL... it only means that she has probably reached a stage where she has resigned to it and accepted it.
If she doesn't feel the need to correct the situations.. No one else can help her. GOD helps those who help themselves....
20