Why are women held responsible?

I always thought it was a big problem of our Asian society that women are held responsible for every possible thing that goes wrong.

In today's modern world, we know that it's not only because of women that many families do not have any children. But many people, especially elderly ones, refuse to believe that also men can be disabled to produce children for different biological reasons.

A friend of mine, who's been married for six years, does not have any children due to a disease that her husband suffered from many years ago and as a consequence of his healthy life, he can't produce any children. And although her mother-in-law knows very well that it's because of her son, she keeps blaming my friend for that and never forgets to mention that she's one good mother-in-law who wouldn't ever want her son to marry another woman for children.

I wonder, why her mother-in-law does that? Does she think it's a shame if men, the "powerful" gender, are not able to do something? Or does she find it easier to blame her daughter-in-law to satisfy herself that the problem is not in a person of her family, but the girl? Why doesn't she want to face the reality?

I find this whole thing so cruel. How can a woman be so uncaring towards another woman's feeling when it's not even her fault? [I mean, it's not the man's fault, either] Why blaming people for this medical, biological problem which they are not to be held responsible for?

wow
i rly feel bad for ur friend
The Indian society has been like this since ages.
Many people still believe in the male gender being more powerful. Even many women believe that. We are today's generation so we think different. We add a modern view at this but the older one cannot just stop believing their own beliefs. It will take time for them to change.

amy, this exactly what I was trying to portray when I said women themselves are the ones who make other lives miserable..... 🤢

Originally posted by: abhijit shukla

Denial ain't a river in Egypt!

😊 lemme take this one down for future use...hope it is not copyrighted!😉

Well, in modern Indian society, there is no question of a man marrying again in order to have offspring - polygamy is illegal except among Muslims. So if the mother-in-law suggests that she can ask her son to marry again, the d-i-l can very well suggest that she will take legal recourse (that is if she has the gumption to do that!)

Childlessness is on the rise in India despite the increasing population, which is a paradox. I know of many many couples who are childless. Some have adopted children, but most have not.

Sometimes I feel that the woman blames herself for the lack of conceiving even when no one blames her. Most of the husbands I have seen are very supporting but the woman tends to go into depression.

But many times, there is no particular reason why a woman does not conceive. Both husband and wife might be healthy and normal, and yet they are not able to beget children. In fact, most cases of infertility have no cause. In such cases, the woman invariably starts feeling guilty herself!

Originally posted by: punjini

But many times, there is no particular reason why a woman does not conceive. Both husband and wife might be healthy and normal, and yet they are not able to beget children. In fact, most cases of infertility have no cause. In such cases, the woman invariably starts feeling guilty herself!

I think it's because she knows people are going to think she's infertile.

Originally posted by: Pyaari_Shailee

wow
i rly feel bad for ur friend
The Indian society has been like this since ages.
Many people still believe in the male gender being more powerful. Even many women believe that. We are today's generation so we think different. We add a modern view at this but the older one cannot just stop believing their own beliefs. It will take time for them to change.

Haan, yaar... I can't understand how my friend still manages to stay so calm and be nice to her mother-in-law. Oh and it's not only the Indian society... even in Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka and so on, we have the same problem.

Originally posted by: punjini

Sometimes I feel that the woman blames herself for the lack of conceiving even when no one blames her. Most of the husbands I have seen are very supporting but the woman tends to go into depression.

Yes, I agree with you here... women start blaming themselves. But in this case, ther's only helplessness.

Originally posted by: punjini

Childlessness is on the rise in India despite the increasing population, which is a paradox. I know of many many couples who are childless. Some have adopted children, but most have not.

It's not an easy task to adopt children and treat them like your own. There is a great emotional hindrance... you have to start from the beginning. If it's your own child, you naturally/automatically start loving it... but with someone else's child, you have to build the emotional relationship first.

Originally posted by: amy22

It's not an easy task to adopt children and treat them like your own. There is a great emotional hindrance... you have to start from the beginning. If it's your own child, you naturally/automatically start loving it... but with someone else's child, you have to build the emotional relationship first.

Yes, when someone is trying to conceive, this is exactly what goes on in the mind. However, the reality is, the moment the child lays in your lap, you easily forget that you have not given birth to it. The moment the child calls you mom, all barriers break.

The main barrier lies in the mindset, where people have a desire to carry forward their own genes, and not someone else's. In that way, human being can be very very primitive in thinking. It does take a lot of conviction to go through it. But from what I have seen with the adopted kids so far, the bond is always instantaneous. Because human beings also get very possesive about what is theirs, whether aquired or produced.......