His wrinkled fingers trembled in his pocket as if they had lost all their strength.He could not bring out the pistol from his pocket.A strong pain engulfed each and every cell of his body as innocent words of his grand daughter depicting the "ordeal" she had faced, sank in his mind,heart and existence. Despite his effort,he could not stop his brain from visualizing what geet had told.Images that his mind conjured shook his soul badly.The passed few moments had removed an invisible but thick veil from his eyes.May be those moments had evoked the "dormant humanity" in him as saline water burned his eyes..His one hand went to the wall for the support because he felt his knees couldn't bear the weight of his "sin" anymore.He tried to hide himself behind the door as much as possible before peeping in the room once again.He heard geet asking Rano whether Darjee had forgiven channi and whether she was back.The fear that marked her countenance when she said "Darjee" hit him like a whiplash.He indeed had turned into a monster who could only scare others.He wished if he could keep his atrocity limited to this only but along with scaring,he had murdered both of his grand daughters.
Air could not reach his lungs as it could not pass the weight of his "Sins" on his heart. He felt suffocated and turned around to leave the place immediately.It was then,he saw Mohinder who was standing behind him. His ashamed eyes could not look into Mohinder's eyes which was blazing with anger.
For once,Mohinder wanted to beat him into the pulp.He wanted to inflict all the physical pain to him which his chidi had endured.But then,shame and regret in old man's eyes told him that God had inflicted him a pain which could never be healed..He could not raise his hand at the old man who was father of his late friend but anger and disgust that he felt at that moment made Mohinder spit directly at his face.
"Get out from here..." He spoke further gritting his teeth to control his anger.
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Balwinder was standing in the one corner of the courtyard with his gaze fixed at small red burning coals present in Darjee's Hookah while his wife,pammi was busy collecting the rugs from the floor.The empty courtyard was echoing with her banters only as all the villagers had left after completion of mourning ritual.
"I am afraid if darjee could not convince that Mohinder to not to file any case against us ..How would we survive in this village with such defamation.." Pammi spoke in a worried and angry tone folding a rug simultaneously. Her husband's lack of response added fuel to her anger as she barked,"I wish Channi had died in that accident instead of my brij..She has tainted our reputation"
Those words broke the dam of Balwinder's patience.He came forwards and picked a hot coal from the hukkah. His fingers burned but that burning was nothing as compare to the fire which was burning his soul.He had never raised his hand at his wife till that day but he did not hesitate even little at that moment as he threw the coal piece at her face.She yelped in pain feeling skin at her cheek burn with pain and hot coal.
"To hell with your so called reputation and pride.."Balwinder yelled at top of his lungs while kicking the pile of folded rugs."
How can you still worried about all this pammi???I never knew you are this heartless..You remember what those ladies had said about "Chidi" this morning??She was "unconscious" when Mohinder brought her back..Since that moment,I am praying to God that Reason behind her fainting would be something else,not "that" what my heart is fearing.You are woman still you don't feel any sympathy for Geet and channi..I am ashamed of calling you my wife..You are not even worthy of my hatred let alone love..!!!
Pammi heard her husband speak in a venomous voice with tears trickling down her cheeks..Her trembling tongue tried to say something but she was cut in by Balwinder as his ice cold voice touched her ear drums.."Today I understood why God had snatched our son because he knew you don't deserve to be a mother..."
Eerie silence consumed the air in the choudhary haweli once again till Darjee made his entry..
Balwinder looked incredulously at defeated steps and hunched shoulders of his father.It felt like "some other man" had returned from Mohinder's house..His eyes met with his father..Dampness and repent in those tired eyes told him that his father had realized his sins..Next moment,He saw his father stumbling and falling down on the floor.For some reason he could not put his step forward to help him.
Apathy shown by his own son shattered Sukhdev Singh Chaudhary beyond redemption.His gaze went to his "turban" which was laying beside his feet.It fell from his head when he stumbled.Putting all his strength together,he managed to stand on his feet.He kept looking at his "turban" but did not feel like picking it..It wasn't his "pride" anymore.It was a "burden" now which he could not carry anymore..It was the "reason" behind his sins.. He trampled it under his feet as he moved his steps towards his room upstairs..
Silence made its appearance prominent once again as sound of darjee's foot steps faded,which was disturbed by a "gun shot" after some time..Balwinder and Pammi broke into run towards Darjee's room as they heard the "gun shot"..
Pammi's sobs struck in her throat watching dead body of her father in law on the floor.Profuse blood was flowing from his temple where he had shot himself..She saw her husband who was still standing at the door..She tried to find some sadness or grief in his eyes but all she could see was "Indifference" as she heard him say,"How would this man meet his eyes with his younger son in that "world"???"
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Rano could see the irritation and anger on her husband's face as he left the house.He was going to "Chaudhary Haweli" for the Combined "prayer meeting" of darjee and Channi. Thirteen days had passed since their death. Grapevine and Rumors stayed on their highest peak during these days.Some said,Balwinder killed his father for the property..Others said,channi was pregnant..Some even said,Geet had also died since Mohinder and Rano had not let her come out of the room even once since last thirteen days.They did not want her to know about Channi and Darjee's demise..Rano had somehow pacified Mohinder to not to file any case as she was well aware of the "structure"of society where they lived..These people are better blinded with rumors because once they would come to know the truth,Instead of helping,their orthodox reactions to a "rape victim" would increase the troubles for Geet who was not even aware of gravity of "ordeal" she had faced.Moreover, Darjee had been already punished for his crime and the biggest punishment for Balwinder and Pammi was their "regret"..
Rano sighed as she decided to ask Mohinder to leave this village as soon as possible once he would be back from Chaudhary Haveli..
She forced a smile on her lips as she entered geet's room with Food and pain killer.Her chidi had almost recovered.
"I am going out to buy some groceries chidi.." Rano said keeping the tray on the table.."You enjoy your favorite pulav..I would come back soon..."
"Ok masi.."Geet answered coming to sitting position.She hated to stay in her bed al the time..She wanted to go out of this room but she knew her masi won't allow her..
"Don't forget to take the medicine.." Rano ordered as she left the room..
After enjoying her favorite cuisine,Geet's gaze went to medicine..She gave a sheepish smile as she picked the tablet and threw it outside the window..She used to take the medicine only when Rano was around her otherwise it was her routine to throw them outside..It was the cruel game of destiny that Rano had to leave the room for a while that day too when she had given geet "Emergency contraceptive pill"..Pill was thrown out the window by Geet till Rano came back to the room...
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He removed the "sling" from his arm that his mother had made him wear when he was leaving for Mukeria to attend the "prayer meeting"..Sling was the evidence to make people believe that he was also present in that car with channi as well as to support the fake story of Channi's accident.He had not come to Mukeria to attend the prayer meeting of "Darjee"..He just wanted to know that girl who was with him on his wedding night was all safe and fine.He wanted to apologize to her.It might help him little in reducing his regret..With the help of the directions given by villagers.he finally reached at Mohinder Handa's house..He kept knocking at the door but no one opened it for a long time..
Geet was in dilemma..She did not know whether she should open the door or not..If it was Rano masi,she might have called her name till now.."What if channi di had come to meet her.."Her innocent brain thought as she ran out of her room to open the door..
She opened the door with a big smile on her face which faded as she recognized his "face"..She was not able to see him in darkness that night but she had seen him earlier when Barat had arrived..Her heart was beating against her ribcage as a wave of extreme panic paralyzed her body..She wanted to scream..She wanted to run before he could catch her..But she could not move even a step..
He could see the "fear" in her innocent hazel..It was the first time he had seen her properly..Her face still had traces of childhood.It was then he realized,she was not even eighteen..Pang of guilt hit him with force as he could not bring his apology out of his mouth..He could not look at her face anymore.His gaze shifted to her feet at its own accord..
Her "salwar" had hidden trembling of her legs but It had exposed her "fear" to him as he looked at the "wetness" on it.Fear had caused Geet to leak in her Salwar.
Tears of regret appeared in his eyes.God had given him only an ugly face but he himself had made his soul ugly with his acts..
Arrival of Rano brought much needed relief for geet.Rano gave a disgusting look to the man standing at their door as she hugged her daughter..
"I am here beta..don't worry",,She consoled geet as she steered her inside..
After one hour,Rano came out only to find him standing at the same place..
"You have not gone yet.."Rano asked with anger.
In response,he folded his hands.He was about to say something when Rano cut him again,"Dare you apologize..You don't deserve any forgiveness..I know you were not aware about all this just like us,but if it was not geet,Channi might have faced your cruelty.."
"If you can't forgive me,then punish me..Make me rot in prison..Beat me or do whatever you want But I can't live with this guilt anymore..I have not slept a wink since last thirteen days.."He pleaded,,
"And you won't be able to sleep peacefully for rest of your life too..Go away and Keep burning in your regret..This is best punishment for you..." Rano said gritting her teeth as she closed the door at his face...
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