Candid Confessions-RS,KS, KR,SS OS*Completed-Pg31*

Candid Confessions

Rey n swayam sat by the bonfire...half an hour back, d place resembled a scene straight out of a hindi movie what with the arguement with some random gang. Thankfully rey salvaged the situation..he picked up a guitar lying nearby and began singing the song dilko tumse pyaar hua.

He looked at sharon and swayam and dedicated it to them. He stood in between them throughout, hoping they would talk but he also knew them so well, and as expected they didn't talk he made it very obvious to sharon that he was singing but it was swayam's heart that actually sang that for her. That it was his voice but it was swayam's feelings.

He didn't even bother to look around. Almost everyone had formed a pair and were dancing but his only focus were his two best friends. He kept shifting his gaze from sharon to swayam and back again to sharon while his hands kept strumming the strings of the guitar. He looked up at the sky, his attention diverted from them for while, and winked and sang the words "pehli baar hua..tumse pyaar hua" as if indicating it to someone.

He again looked at both of them. Once they both did look at each other, a little teary eyed but looked away quickly. Rey sighed and almost threw his hands up in defeat. Then swayam literally let a tear roll down his eyes which didn't go unnoticed by rey and sharon. Before rey could stop him, swayam disappeared from there. And in a while the crowd dispersed.

Rey sat in front of the bonfire as a few tears escaped from his eyes. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't realise when swayam had come and sat next to him. Swayam saw rey in that condition but kept quiet, letting him regain his composure.

And now...Rey noticed swayam held a beer bottle in his hand. He was appalled but before he knew it, swayam took a sip from it. Breaking the dead silence, rey almost shouted.

Rey: are you freakin out of your mind swayam? you are drinking!

Swayam let out a small chuckle while rey wondered what was so amusing.

Swayam: relax dude, its just lemonade inside. Meri life itni bhi pathetic nahi ho gayi hain ki main yeh sab...

Rey relaxed a bit and continued to look ahead

rey:itni bhi pathetic nahi hain..matlab thodi pathetic hain!He said as a matter of fact.

Swayam looked up to blink back his tears

rey: tuje kya lagta hai main tere tears nahi dekh sakta?

Rey was speakin in an almost monotonous tone without looking at swayam

swayam: kya ho gaya yaar hum dono ko..hum sab kuch share karte the..aur ab apni feelings ek dusre se hi hide kar rahe hain!

Rey:thik se..thik se baat nahi ki na bahut dino se..bahut kuch chhupaya hain humne..

Swayam:kya bol raha hain tu..aur aise?

Rey: aise nahi toh kaise..sharon se related jo bhi hota tha tu bolta tha na mujhe...help leta tha..aur ab? Kuch bhi nahi bata raha hain ki problem kya hain!

Swayam: problem agar mujhe pata hoti toh sab kuch itna complicated nahi hota rey..main solve karta problem ko...but as a matter of fact, i think sharon ko mujhse hi problem hain..

He spoke totally frustrated..rey pitched and shook his head.

Rey: swayam kyu itna pessimist ho raha hain yaar..tu toh har baar kehta hain na ki tu sharon ke liye humesha wait karne ko ready hain!

Swayam: ready hun main Rey, ready hun. But sharon mujhe koi toh hint de..i mean woh kya feel kar rahi hain kuch samaj nahi a raha..imagine mujhe..i know her so well..aur mujhe hi nahi pata..if i ask her ki kya hua toh batati nahi hain..sab ke saath normal behave karti hain par mujhe toh aise ignore karti hain jaise main exist hi nahi karta uske liye. Main thak gaya hun rey sab se. In sab misunderstandings se..i mean do i seriously deserve only THIS?

Rey sighed and placed his hand around swayam's shoulderrey: i am sorry dude

swayam: ab tu kyu sorry bol raha hain yaar?

Rey:just..i should have been there for you through all this..mujhe hi nahi pata mujhe ho kya gaya hain..

Swayam was concerned about rey..rey hardly sounded so lost.

Swayam: dude, kya hua mujhe bata..

Rey: i am not sure ki tuje bata bhi sakta hun ki nahi..

Swayam: you know you can tell me anything, right!

Rey: hmmm..but look main jo bhi batau woh pehle achhe se sun na..over react mat karna..aur please meri puri baat khatam hone dena...

Swayam nodded and rey took a deep breath, preparing to tell swayam everything from the beginning

rey: taani dance nahi kar sakti yeh baat sabse pehle mujhe pata chali thi..Rehearsal hall mein dekha tha maine usse dance karte hue...anyway usne muje kaha ki she'll learn..main bas kisiko na batau..i agreed and even offered her to teach. And then woh jab college ke liye jaldi nikalti thi and late ghar aati thi and you asked her if she's hiding anything, it was this. Tuje laga ki woh ek ladke ka chakkar hain...it was then that i danced after so many months. Thode dino baad taani came dressed wearing this(he showed him the picture of the dress on his phone). Woh dekhkar i was shattered and all the memories came back to me. I ran to the fire escape and cried. Tabhi taani waha pe ayi. We had an arguement as i wanted to be left alone. And she told me ki woh mumbai mere liye ayi hain. Because woh mujhe pasand karti hain.

Swayam was startled and looked at rey to confirm if he was hearing correct.

Rey: i was damn angry, bahut chillaya uspe and i told her ki the only reason i speak to her is because woh teri sister hain. Tabse uska behaviour bahut change ho gaya. Then all this charity event happened and shivam...

He kept looking ahead not wanting to see swayam's gaze

swayam: how do you feel about her?

Rey: i dont think i like her in that way. Yeah she's good as a friend lekin usse zyada nahi hain woh kuch bhi...i mean yeah i get protective about her at times but that is only because of shivam..i mean i just keep a watch for her kyuki we know how shivam is..and she is your sister. Tu humesha tohde hi uske aage pichhe ghum sakta hain' I mean you yourself have so many complications in your love life

Swayam: main ek achha boyfriend aur ek achha bhai..dono nahi ban paya..i should have been there for her..

Rey: swayam for once stop blaming yourself

swayam: No rey, i mean it..nahi main ek achha best friend tha...

Rey knew what he meant by that and shut his eyes to prevent the tears from falling

rey: vaise toh main bhi ek achha boyfriend nahi ban paya na

Swayam: i miss her rey, i mean she was the one who used to always push me with everything be it dance or sharon..i really miss her

rey: hmmm i know...

Swayam: especially yeh dance camp and all...aise times pe bahut zyada yaad ati hain uski...afterall she defined dance..there are times when i really feel like talking to her..rey tuje kabhi yaad nahi aati uski?

Rey kept looking at the sky. Swayam nudged him a little to bring him back to reality

Rey: you really think ki main kabhi usse bhul sakta hun? Achha ruk i'll show you something...

he pointed towards the sky and swayam's eyes followed his finger.

Rey: woh star dekh...har raat ko main isse hi dekhta hun...dikhne mein sabse chhota hain...par sabse zyada bright hain...its even situated like ek corner mein...never the centre of attention. But when you look up at the sky, its hard to miss it...just like MY BAATCUTTER. Jab main woh song ga raha tha i looked up at the star for a while. I felt her presence like i always do, even though she's not here.

He finished the sentence with a soft smile playing on his lips.

Swayam: she is always with us rey..in our hearts...even though we've never talked about her in all these months..

Rey: uske bare mein toh sochke hi maine yeh time bitaya hain...kabhi kisiko pata nahi chalne diya ki usse kitna miss karta hun..isiliye i never spoke about her...but every second..every damn second of my life i have thought about her..baatcutter hoti toh kya bolti...kaise ladti mujse..disagree karti..

Swayam: i am sorry rey..probably i was way too busy with my own love life to even bother about how you have been doing.

Rey hit swayam on his head with a little irritation.

Rey: kya saas bahu serial jaise dialogue maar raha hain...ek aur baar sorry bola toh maar khayega.

He looked at him angrily and they both started laughing. They then lay down on the soft grass with their hands folded backwards and their heads resting on them.

Swayam: tuje seriously lagta hain ki usne tuje ditch kiya

rey: hmmm

swayam frowned a little

rey: she ditched me by not revealing the truth

swayam looked at him confused

swayam: matlab?

Rey: when she said all that maine maan liya..but when i thought about it later i realised something swayam. Agar woh chahti toh yaha par rehkar meri haar dekh sakti..mera mazak bana sakti...but she didn't...she didn't even wait for a day to see ki mera kya hua tha...nahi she waited to see her own popularity rise in college

swayam: i have always thought ki koi reason hoga

rey: reason tha iski muje guarantee hain...but i dont understand ki usne hum sab mein se kisiko bhi kyu kuch kaha nahi

swayam: probably she never wanted us to feel bad for her or feel guilty...woh toh aisi hi thi na...sab blame apne aap par le leti..sab problems khud hi solve karti..

Rey: for that she would even argue with me

they chuckled a little

Rey: i guess she wanted it this way..ha muje bura laga that she didn't trust me to tell me the truth

swayam: probably she wanted you to move on rey

he turned his head again to look at rey. A tear rolled down rey's eyes. He felt as if he had known this all along but never bothered to accept it. Hearing it from someone who knew her so well was...was just difficult.

Swayam: will you rey? Will you ever move on? Dont get me wrong...main yeh nahi puchh raha because you told me about taani's feelings towards you..as a brother yes i am concerned about her but i am more concerned for you as a friend isiliye..

Rey: swayam tu kitna justify karta hain yaar apne aapko..chill...lagta hain siren ke saath reh rehkar tuje iski aadat pad gayi hain. Pura time justify karta hoga na

swayam: tune answer nahi diya rey..will you ever move on?

Rey was again silent for a while

rey: dont get me wrong..but will you ever lose that hope with sharon..tu bhi kabhi move on nahi karega na..

Swayam: but it's different here, right?

Rey: hindi movies nahi dekhta tu?

Swayam frowned at the random question.

Swayam: ofcourse i do..but what's the connection?

Rey: one of my favourite movies..uska dialogue hain..."hum ek baar jeete hain...ek baar marte hain...aur pyaar bhi ek hi baar"

swayam smiled a little but decided to tease rey

swayam: but he did move on in the movie

rey: because woh movie thi..happy ending nahi hoti toh flop ho jati. And anyway who said ki happy ending means happily ever after? Memories make you happy too...aur main khush hun uski..HUMARI memories mein jeekar...

Swayam nodded and they both continued looking at the star. His friend knew what love was. What being loved was. And him. He was confused. And moreover he was helpless. But he was not a quitter for sure.

Swayam: sometimes its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

He spoke and almost choked on his words. Rey sighed. This guy and his philosophical talks!

Rey: never knew na ki pyaar hume itna badal dega. Puri life upside down kar dega

swayam: itna special feel karvayega...love you siren forever...and miss you kria.

Rey: love you MY BAATCUTTER

They both didn't shift their eyes from the star. Yeah it did remind them of her. Both of them shut their eyes and let tears roll down their cheeks as they remembered all the moments with their respective lady loves. Enough of holding up of emotions! Who said men dont cry? Real men do! If love makes you go on cloud nine, it can even make you shed a few tears be it tears of happiness or otherwise. That's the beauty of it.

THE END

Ps: i really wanted to add somethin more abt swaron n kriyaansh but wld spoil d OS! idk, chuck it.

PPS: i felt lyk writin it coz i went through somethin similar wid a frnd, hidin things n all...

PPPS: i'd promised wen i wrote my last os dat i'l come bak wid an SS! Now toh pakka i'l write coz frustration makes me write so yeah...but after exams for sure...

dats it guys, plz do review, like n comment

link to part 2- https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/fan-fictions/3227712/candid-confessions-rs-ks-kr-ss-os-completed-pg31?pn=12

link to part 3- https://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3227712&TPN=31