OS: The one that got away: Part 4 Pg 30 (4/9) - Page 15

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Geet saw the surprise and then unbearable sadness on his face as he listened to his grandmother on the phone. She felt her own heart hammer with worry at what could possibly have happened.

"Dadima...I...I am on my way" Maan's voice broke, unable to hold back on the torrent of emotion and worry, "I'll be there soon. Everything will be okay" The last words were meant to be reassurance but unavoidably it was almost like a question, as Maan wanted the reassurance himself.

"Maan what happened?" Geet went and touched his face, wanting to take away his worry. "Something bad?"

"My brother was in a car crash" Maan could barely say the words before he grabbed her and held on to her while burying his face in her hair, "He is fighting for his life...and I am so scared"

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Geet was seated in the back office of the biggest book store in Delhi. It had been 10 years since she had been in her home town but as she had stopped foot here, it gave her the same feelings but along with it came pain.

She was apparently a success story; getting published at the young age of 26, earning millions and then becoming one of the most famous authors of her generation. Money, fame and power were now at her fingers. Even Forbes had listed her on their most successful list.

But success and happiness can be very different things. I had never wanted success, I only wanted happiness, Geet thought with poignant sigh even as her fingers touched the pearl necklace at her throat. The heart always yearns for something else'.it yearns for the forbidden.

And the worst part of it was that for a few moments she had everything she wanted at her fingertips. Foolish and delirious with happiness, she had never imagined that one incident could take that all away from her.

Maan's brother, Dev had died in that car crash but in the end that hadn't been the only life that was lost, for the life that she was going to build with the person she loved more than anyone else had also disappeared with the smallest of flickers.

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"Maan she is pregnant" a crying Savtri Devi clutched on to Maan. There was such desperation in her voice, filled with a depth of pain that ceased to end. "We...we need to help her"

Maan just felt numb, unable to comprehend what was being said or being asked from him. He could only see his younger brother's body. It had been 3 weeks since Dev had died but the image was perpetually in his mind.

He was only 24, his mind kept on repeating. Dev was only 24. He hadn't even lived his life, hadn't gone through the motions of life and will never know the bitter sweet feeling of aging.

People tell stories of their family member dying from accidents but one never expects it to be his own brother. No one can contemplate that sort of misery.

"Sameera needs us Maan" Savtri tried to hold back on the outpouring of emotions. "How can she deal with being pregnant by herself? She is only 22. Maybe other women could but not Sameera, she is too soft hearted."

Sameera was Dev's fiance and she had also been in the car crash. However fortunately she had survived but the sad part was that the doctors had said that she was also pregnant. Dev will never see his child, the thought broke his soul even more. His brother, who had been his responsibility, had died but somehow he had left his mark on the world.

"I know what I am asking of you is too much. But I know that you are an honourable man" Savitri held Maan's face within her hands and he saw the tears that she held on to, "You have always been a good son, a good grandson but also an excellent brother. You have to help Sameera and your brother's unborn child. That baby will need a father along with its mother. Beta you are the only one who can take this role."

Maan bowed his head down and felt his already battered heart tear into pieces.

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Geet heard the sounds from outside, showing her the large number of fans outside. The news of her coming to Delhi had been explosive. It had been spoken quite widely about Geet's distance from Delhi, many saying that she was snubbing her town after getting richwhile others concocted ridiculous stories like her overseas lover.

Yet the truth would be harder for them to swallow than any stories they had created. She couldn't bear to return after splitting away from him. A part of her understood that she would die every day if she was so close to him yet in reality further than ever.

So she walked away from her town, her people and him. Her life changed overnight, both at the loss of him and the gain of fame. The irony was that she had wanted anonymity but the very responsibilities of being a writer and having to go to different places forced her to live. She would have been lost in her anger and grief if it hadn't been for her writing.

She loved talking to her readers and taking their opinions but not on such a large platform as it distracted her. In fact after her very first book signing she had hated them because she could only associated bad memories with them.

But we have to do things we despise, Geet thought resigned to the inevitable, knowing that she couldn't stay hidden forever.

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Geet was standing shell shocked as flashes and cameras went all around her. As planned she had finally come out as the author of her book, much to the excitement of the media but more importantly her readers.

She hadn't wanted to do it now because of the death of Maan's brother but they couldn't change the book signing date as it was on such a large scale and Maan had personally insisted.

Yet nothing could have prepared her for the chaos that ensured around her, people shoving and bumping to get a glimpse of her. It was more than she could have imagined or even wanted. She had only wanted her book to get recognition not the world wide fame it was garnering.

Despite her dreams coming true her eyes searched for the one person who could complete this moment, the one person who had made it possible.

And there she saw him, standing right at the back, staring right at her. Geet gave a small smile but Maan's eyes just stared. Even from the distance she saw the haunted look and pain they held, as if he was trying to tell her something.

You are being silly, Geet tried to tell herself as she answered some questions from the media, but her heart was telling her that there was something that would shatter her.

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"Ma'am" a young assistant hesitantly came in to talk to her, "We are ready for you to come out. The security is keeping the readers calm, so it is the perfect time"

Geet just nodded and gave a small smile to reassure him before standing up. Closing her eyes she sighed, gathering energy and walked out to the cameras again.

Before she knew it she was signing books and talking to readers even whilst the camera flashes went on. It was deja vu, almost as if the last ten years had never happened but they had and it was present in the way Geet felt her heart ache as some people spoke to her about the first time they saw her.

"Beti I remember you at your first signing, when you first came out as the author" An elderly lady spoke eagerly, "You were so young and lovely but then you still are." She patted Geet's hand, causing her security guy to stand up but Geet shoed him away.

So many people spoke of their love for the books and told her how much they wanted to know the ending of the book but she smiled and said that there could ever be only one way to end the story. People seemed confused by her cryptic comment but she just smiled.

"Hi, I am such a big fan of yours" A very beautiful woman, a bit younger than Geet, with a young girl next to her held out a book to sign. "I've read every one of your books so many times" Then the woman's eyes clouded for a moment, as if in another time, "They helped me through difficult moments and to move forward"

Geet was touched by the lovely compliment for helping readers was the greatest reward. "That is so sweet of you and I am glad that you found strength" Trying to go back to less emotional talk she tried to bring the conversation back to neutral topic, "Who should I sign this to?"

"Sameera" the lady smiled sweetly but was interrupted by her daughter.

"And Geet" the small voice spoke out causing a big smile to break out across Geet's face.

Pretending to look shocked Geet teased, "But how can you be Geet, cause I am Geet!"

The girl laughed, "You are Geet Handa but I am Geet Khurana"

The little girl's words took Geet's breath away as she thought of Geet Khurana. Once up on a time she was meant to be that person, yet it hadn't happened.

With a hand that trembled lightly Geet managed to sign the book and handed it back to Sameera who thanked her profusely, "I am so happy! My husband is going to be green with envy," Suddenly as if she remembered something, Sameera asked Geet, "You might know him. Well you definitely do know him, seeing as he is your publisher, Maan Singh Khurana"

"Maan Singh Khurana" Geet half whispered the words, staring at Sameera who was oblivious. She said something but Geet couldn't hear anything. All she could think was that this was his wife, this was his daughter.They were the reason he wasn't with her today.

Geet Khurana, she looked at the girl and everything fell into place.

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"Maan, are you okay?" Geet asked softly, touching his shoulder. She could feel the muscles, tense with worry under her fingers. "Bolo mujhe"

Geet had rushed quickly after the book singing to talk to him, worried about the look that she had seen on his face and the premonition her mind was giving.Her worries had intensified as she saw him stand alone brooding.

Maan wanted to carry her away, so that he didn't need to say the words he was about to let out. He wanted to be with her where none of his problems would impeded. He wanted to dream with her.

But he knew what he had to do.

"Geet" Turning to face her, he cupped her face in his hands, "Never forget I love you. Even when you feel angry, resentful and bitter, remember that I will never love anyone the way I love" He lifted her face and leaned so that their noses were touching. He stared into her beautiful eyes, seeing the love in them but knowing that they would soon be filled with pain.

"What are you saying?" Geet felt panic rise within her, "What happened Maan!"

Maan swallowed convulsively but still spoke the words, "I can't be with you Geet"

And he shattered her with only one sentence. Geet stared into his eyes, seeing that he was speaking the truth and she took only one step back. "Tum kya bol rahe ho?" Her heart pounded as she moved her hand away from his even as he tried to hold on.

Maan wanted to rip himself apart as he saw the look on her eyes but he knew that she had the right to know the truth. So he told her about his brother's fiance and how she was pregnant. He spoke of his brother's unborn child and how he had to take responsibility. It all made sense but at the sight of her tears he felt that none of those reasons held any weight.

As he finished they were left with silence. She was frozen, trying to make sense of the world that was falling around her.

Maan reached out for her but she jerked away, "Don't touch me!"

"Geet please!" Maan hoarsely whispered, "I...there is nothing else I can do. I have to do this for my dead brother, for his love and for his child"

Geet had wondered why people spoke about hearts breaking but today she understood. Her body felt like it was dying, as if her heart had given up on her.

"Yes" Geet agreed as finally a tear poured down, "You have to do this...but I can't bear this." She finally turned to look at him, "Maybe one day I'll forgive you...but not today. Today you are just the man who shattered me." She started to walk away, every step creating immeasurable distance between them.

Just as she reached the door, Maan had to say for the last time, "I love you..and I always will"

Geet turned, looking at the face that as so dear to her, "Yes you do" She agreed but the next words were stark in their realism, "But soon you are going to be someone else's to hold and my touch will fade. One day you'll have kids and I'll just be a memory on a Sunday afternoon. But for me, you'll always be the person who couldn't be mine and who made it so that I could never be anyone else's either"

"Please" Maan didn't know what he was pleading for but it came out like a soft prayer.

"I love you" Geet's face was portrait of sadness, "But today I hate you as well"

That was the day Geet Handa became famous and it was the day she felt her soul wither.

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Maan stood amongst the books, hidden behind the shelves. He had come here but at the last moment could bring himself to face her. It is enough that she is in the very room as me, he tried to convince himself, that the light in this room touches us both.

Despite the worry he smiled as he saw the book in front of him. Taking it out, he easily turned to the page he was looking for.

"I have loved none" he started to read the quote from Persuasion, "but you. Unjust I may have been- "

"Weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant" A voice that had haunted him for so long spoke from behind. He could have recognised it even at the edge of life yet he couldn't believe it.

Turning around his eyes finally saw face to face the beauty that was Geet Handa. The first time he had met her she had been stunning but today she something indescribable. Gone was the haphazard dressing style instead in front of him stood a confident and elegant woman.

Geet swallowed nervously as she saw him after a decade. Somehow she had known that he would be around, especially if his family was here. She wanted to tell him so many things but instead she managed to say "Austen?" She slowly reached out, their fingers brushing so lightly, "I thought you weren't too fond of her"

Maan wanted to hold her, to kiss her and take her away but somehow he continued her conversation, "I never disliked her, in fact I have grown to enjoy her stories even more"

"You have changed" She saw the slight changes in his face, the hair at his temples weren't all grey but had a few grey hairs. His face still beautiful, had small lines that hadn't been there before. "But then again it's been 10 years"

"You are still the same" Maan felt his hands itch with the need to touch her, "But maybe even more beautiful"

Geet felt her cheeks blush against her will and brought up the topic that would stop this, "I met your wife and your daughter. You named her Geet" The statement challenged him, wanting him to accept their truth even as it divided them.

"I promised I would spend my life with Geet" he looked right at her eyes, "I promised to myself that I would worship my Geet. So I kept that promise" Geet felt the tears burn in her eyes but she held them back. However his next words made that impossible, "I couldn't have my Geet but still I found a Geet for myself. I couldn't love anyone the way I love you but I don't think I would ever want to" Maan brushed his hair with his hands, "I hate myself for loving you because I am married, yet I cannot hate this love because it is all I have of you. You once told me that I would only remember you on Sundays but every moment I have you with me. You said your touch would fade but it still haunts me. But most of all my heart wants your forgiveness"

"Please stop" She whispered as she wiped the tears, "I am so sorry for what I said. You have nothing to be sorry for. I can only be honoured that I love someone like you. If you hadn't done what you did then you wouldn't be the Maan I love"

"But still I want your happiness" Maan felt his heart break all over again as he said the words that needed to be said, "Love anyone but me"

"Never" Not meeting his eyes, she turned the page of Persuasion and read out, "no two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison, no countenances so beloved." Looking up she spoke without any hesitation, "How can I find that again? Where can I get such love?"

Maan leaned forward till they were so close, "But I want your happiness" He felt his body burn with the closeness between them.

Geet licked her lips even as she stared at him. She moved ever so slightly closer, forgetting about everything but only wanting. She wanted one, just one taste of him.

Just as there lips were about to meet Maan pulled back, "We..we can't do this " He gave once last glance of longing even as he stepped back

Geet nodded, turning away without embarrassment and shame. But she was forced to turn around as Maan said, "By the way, is there a happy ending to your book?" He wanted to break the tension, change topic.

But Geet smiled sadly at him and picked up her own book which was on one of the tables near them. Opening to the last page she read " Drashti stood in his office, ready to leave him. In anger she spoke out But soon you are going to be someone else's to hold and my touch will fade. One day you'll have kids and I'll be a memory on a Sunday afternoon. But for me, you'll always be the person who couldn't be mine and who made it so that I could never be anyone elses" Geet glanced up to see if Maan had recognised the very words that she had spoken and she saw from the clouded look that he had. But she continued on, "However as Drashti was about to leave Gurmeet stopped her and told her without hesitation, no there will be no one for me Drashti. So stay with me and spend the rest of your life with me. I cannot be with anyone else. For a moment Drashti was able to stand tall but then she crumbled into his arms, even as he said, be mine Drashti. And at that moment Drashti knew she was his, never to leave him"

Maan gave the smallest of smiles as she reached for her hand, "You gave them a happy ending." You gave us a happy ending, the one we never got.

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