ALMOST LOVERS
Chapter Twenty Eight
Morning after
Awaken to the morning,
To the recriminations
And yet the sense of fulfilment
Awaken to you,
Both repressed and freed,
And I yet there is no turning back
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PRESENT:
Bliss.
It was utter bliss, to lie beside the warmth and in his embrace. Nothing could touch or harm her whilst her partner was beside her. Together they could fight all the demons and threats.
But what if the threat was your protector? What if your soul mate was the one breaking your soul? Who is there to protect you? No one, except yourself.
Geet felt the bliss ebb away as consciousness intruded, shattering the luxury of ignorance. As she felt the familiar aches in her body, something that she had tried but failed to forget, memories of the night came back.
Her eyes flung open as she realised what she had done. She had been living in self-imposed penance of never letting herself touch him but she had broken that very vow. The feelings of disgust and anger hit her with the impact of a tidal wave, throwing her out of her calmness. But this anger and disgust was directed at herself, at the inherent weakness which she hadn't been able to protect.
Stupid fool! She yelled within her head, one touch is all it took. You let him sway you despite everything. Is that how easy you are?
It wasn't about sleeping with him, for the physical action could be as meaningless as someone made it but she knew that when it came to him she couldn't be emotionless.
Despite the recriminations within her head, outside she was as calm as a pond with no ripples. She knew that worse than sleeping with her husband would be the show of emotions. So slowly she got up, pulling the sheets around her.
But then she felt a hand tug her.
"Geet" his drowsy but happy voice called out to her, touch the hidden part of her that ached to sooth him. "Stay"
In a tone devoid of emotions, simply cold, she spoke "Why? I have work to do"
Maan opened his eyes, "Geet after last night, you can't expect things to be the way they were." At her silence, he started to get angry, "I didn't force you or anything. Despite all my….actions, you cannot say that I was the only one involved in this"
Turning to him, her eyes were like glaciers, "No it wasn't you but last night doesn't change anything. What really happened? Just a physical action between two people"
"Is that all it was? Don't lie, we made love!"
But lie she did, with eyes that gave no hint of the truth. She thrust her words, effect as a sword through his hopes, "Made love? Don't make sex out to be more than it is."
"We are husband and wife" Maan said feeling the slap of her words, "Why must you tarnish this?"
At the look of anger on his face, Geet rolled her eyes, "What is wrong? Am I blaming you? No. Am I saying you forced me? No!"
Maan's eyes burned with a mixture of anger and helplessness as he listened to her continue on. Geet took a step closer to him, "If you remember me correctly I never stopped you. Even the first time were together, did I blame you or react badly?"
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Past:
As she stirred awake, Geet could feel her head pounding painfully as well as a weight on top of her. She slowly pulled her eyes open, blinking against the light that hit her eyes. Turning around the sight that met her made her gasp out.
In her surprise she nearly fell of the couch that she had been lying on but Maan quickly held on to her.
Oh shit! Did I just sleep with Maan Singh Khurana? Crap!
"I don't usually have women jumping out of the bed…or couch at the sight of me" Maan joked but the words also had an undercurrent of concern as he was worried about Geet's reaction to what had happened between them. He didn't regret a moment but he didn't want her to regret it either.
"I wasn't jumping away….I mean I was just-" Geet stuttered before shaking her head, "Geez this is awkward. What is the standard etiquette?"
Maan gave a choked laugh at her comment, "Well….I guess not running away is a good start"
Geet gave an awkward smile at him, feeling the embarrassment of the moment. "Look, I just want to say sorry. I shouldn't have used you…..in this manner. It is unconscionable of me to do so. I take full responsibility of the situation"
"Stop" Maan pressed a finger to her lips. "Geet you didn't take advantage of me. I went into this with open eyes….and if anything I feel that I might have taken advantage of your vulnerable state."
"No!" Geet immediately protested, "I came here….and maybe I was distraught but none of this is your fault in anyway. I am not one of those girls who will cry and blame someone else for their actions. We are both adults"
And this is why I love her. She has integrity and honesty.
"Geet….I love you" Maan spoke earnestly. "So last night was special for me…..but I know that you don't feel the same way for me"
Geet looked away, unable to meet the sincerity of his words. "Maan….I believe in honesty. Nothing else is as important to me as being open and sincere. So while I don't want to hurt you, I can't lie to you either. I don't feel the same way about you. I care for you but don't love you."
Maan felt the twinge of pain of the truth he already knew, "I know Geet"
"So…why don't we move on from this and stay friends" Geet gave a hesitant smile, "I don't want to lose your friendship because of one night"
"You won't ever lose my friendship" Maan touched her cheek, "but I want you to give us a chance. Get to know me better so we can take things forward"
"I….I just got out of something that will take time to get over" Geet closed her eyes as she thought of Rehan and was surprised that she hadn't thought of him till now. "Rehan was very important to me and I don't know how long it will take me to feel for someone else"
"I can wait as long as it takes" Maan pressed his forehead against hers, "He isn't worthy of you"
"Thank you" Geet didn't even know what she was thanking him for her but felt the need to say the words. With that she slowly got up, making sure that her dress was on properly.
"Anyways, you took my izzat" Maan smirked, "So you have to pay for the consequences of seducing me. After all I am an innocent young man"
Geet's response was to throw a stapler at him as she laughed, "Innocent! As if!"
Inside she felt herself melt the tiniest bit. It wasn't about their night neither was it about this moment but the understanding of him as someone who was so sincere and honest. He had all the qualities she valued and without hesitation she was starting to respect him.
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Present:
"I didn't react then and I am not reacting now. Even after everything I told you that, as your wife I am willing to sleep with you whenever required" The words were as cold as her eyes, glinting with pent up angst.
"Required!" Maan spat out the word. Her comments hurt as much as they did the first time she had uttered them, "That isn't what I want and you know it! I want you, not some warm body"
"Well, pity for you" Geet gave a smirk, "Our conservative society says that a wife and husband must co-habit, but there is no requirement for any emotional involvement. No one can find fault with me in this case"
"Who are you kidding?" Maan snarled, "You can try to delude yourself into thinking there isn't any emotional involvement but you know as well as I do that it is impossible. When you have had moments like we have, how can you go back?"
"Yes we had special moments" Geet's eyes flared with heat, taking away the icy cold for a moment, "but we had moments that covered those. See, sometimes the bad things eclipse the good. Every good moment I had with you is tainted by your lies. Every physical intimacy we shared is associated with your manipulations to get me there"
"I didn't manipulate the first time did I?" He shot out her, knowing that was a weak point.
Geet scoffed, "I guess not but you sure as hell made sure that I wasn't going away."
"So you are saying that I made you feel this way?" He walked up to her and grasped the sheet she had around her. "Maybe I made sure that we were together but you had those feelings. Just like now, while I touch you and you tremble" He brushed her cheeks with his fingertips. "When I pull you closer, do you not want to breach the distance" He tugged at the sheet, so that they were only an inch apart. "Did I make you feel those?"
Breaching the distance Geet leaned her forehead against his but her words contradicted her action. "No but you prove my point. You are justifying yourself by the results instead of looking at what you are responsible for. You may not have made me feel those things but you sure as hell made sure that I feel this resentment for you. Feelings can die but the repercussions of our actions can echo on forever. Maybe the day you understand that I'll forgive you."
With that she walked away, leaving the sheet in his hand.
Maan watched her, as she strode like a queen, not at all bothered by lack of clothes. Yes he felt anger and frustration but he also felt love for the magnificent woman.
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AUTHOR's NOTE:
Thanks for all the comments guys! Really enjoyable! 😃
Okay I am ready for all the shoes that are inevitably are going to come hurling towards me😛😆
Guys, did you think that Geet would forgive so easily. She has an iron will and nothing but actual repentance will quell that anger. After all you have to consider all that she has gone through (all that I've shown..and more to come😆)
PLEASE DO COMMENT and press the LIKE button!!
Nothing motivates me as much as reading your comments!😃
-SanjanA
Bade Achche Lagte Hain Naya Season
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