Till Human Voices Wake Us: Last Part: Page 175 - Page 124

Sublime V - The final page

I like it here; the wind, the water and the earth come in perfect harmony and my evening walks with my friends is one of the main highlights of the day. I wait for her at the regular meeting place and my thoughts wander to the days which were most exciting moments of my life.

It was in the way he looked at me when our eyes met for the first time. The goose bumps told me that there was something unsettling about this man that made every neuron in my body tingle. When he spoke to me, it was certain – the man was my antithesis. If I was black then he was white. If I was a question then he was an epiphany. He was the period to me continuous rambling.

He was the salvation that I didn't want.

What I had not expected was him and his team to actually latch on to the tiny thread of inconsistency in a perfectly woven fabric. Certain things happened in Mal's life which affected her and people around her in a great way. She attracted men and women who always wanted whatever she had set her eyes on; perfectly tragic and wonderfully predictable. Men cheated on her, men obsessed on her and few even cheated her financially; like I said – perfect recipe for a Greek tragedy.

Even though I was the designer of the game, the lead player was Mal which made the execution quite dynamic. She hadn't hesitated to pull the trigger and put an end to an aspect of her life in a literally bloody manner. At that moment I wondered if Mal would pull the trigger if the motive behind taking a life didn't exist at all. Or could she be convinced enough for much simpler reason? I thought it was a good idea to experiment on. Only I hadn't counted on someone to actually string them all together. But still, I had cover ups ready just in case. I always liked being one step ahead in the game.

A strange fascination about depths of hell took me in its womb when I heard a wannabe artist prattle about it relentlessly. I had stared at his painting for a minute more than necessary and he had broken into a rant about hell and its purpose. I really felt sorry for him when I saw how his face fell as I was about to walk away from his exhibit. Against my better judgment, I stayed and I listened.

I listened for an entire hour the things he had to say about his painting, hell, morning star, the furies, the justice, the law and humanity. I fell in love with his painting then because it gave me partial answer to a question I hadn't realized I was seeking. What I didn't know at that moment was I had fallen in love with a part of the story itself.

I read the book cover to cover more than three times to understand every nook and hijinks it offered. Though I didn't understand the artist's fascination with his convoluted point of view, the story was definitely enthralling. The thoughts that run after finishing the book for the third time makes me wonder if there is any such thing as destiny. A complex map involving destinies of three people start formulating in my mind and by the end of its formation, I have an answer.

Few people in this world are born with the power to change destinies. And I know that I am one of them.

I think about the plan or map of destinies, the way I call it, for weeks. I am born with more than average amount of intellect and memory capability thus documenting every thought process which involves this map in my mind. I bring in boyfriends and the artist who are strangely connected to one another and are also intertwined with the women I am friends with. I started meeting the artist regularly in his studio. More he talked about his obsession with hell, more incoherent it became and more helpful he became to my grand scheme of things. Fate had offered me pawns and blessed me with intelligence to plan and I simply executed that.

I think everything that has happened in the past since the moment I met Mal was my destiny. The inexplicable feeling I had been feeling for years was now slowly shaping up. The voices in my head were mere whispers when I rose from my own undoing to fulfill the duty of changing destinies. Eliminating them was an unfortunate side effect.

When Mal's anger towards Sasha had turned semi-demonic, it was as if the cosmic dice had been finally rolled. The plan was in place and its actors were ready and finally the game began.

Humans are fascinating creature. Their talks about moralities and social synergy fall short when vengeance is added to the equation. Sure there are essays about forgiving and forgetting and being a better human but it is at that moment a part of humanity in them dies and makes room for demon – a monster that eats away elements of being humane.

There are monsters and demons around us – walking, breathing and talking. They are there in the form of a friend, relative, colleague et al. There is that one moment in your life when you most sincerely believe that someone else is truly wrong for the misery you are facing. At that moment darling reader of my diary, be careful; be careful of the monster next to you as he may whisper one small thing in your ears and the act it would cause is irrevocable.

A part of you dies and you will never be able to recover that part again.

Convincing Mal to send Sasha to depths of hell took some energy but in the end, my monologue was successful in breaking the barrier. I would never know now if it was that monologue or just that one line – 'you've done it before' that got her to agree. I would like to take credit for every word I spent on her.

End of Sasha as expected was spectacular. It was an altogether different sort of thrill to attack Mal's psyche when she found out that there was another killer apart from her who hurt Sasha just after she did. Her mind was torn between being exhilarated and being scared which led her to commit couple of mistakes. When I cleaned that up for her without missing a beat, she was even more grateful for my presence in her life.

If only she knew.

I decided to challenge myself when Anjali entered our lives quite unexpectedly. The entire game was set for three players and now there was a fourth one. I had not anticipated this development but the opportunity was too overwhelming to pass.

I readjusted the plan and talked to the artist more. His psychosis was extreme and he was scared of me. His fantasy was slowly taking over him and I ensured that the process became faster and more permanent. Anjali was dealt in similar fashion as that of Sasha but the artist's fantasy overtook his rational part of thought process and made a mess of it.

I withheld my desire to watch it.

It was the morning after I met him for the first time.

It was his eyes. They looked at me, through me, pierced my psyche, blasted the unwanted cobwebs, cleaned the surface, filed off the edges and curved them and then he walked inside as if he owned the damn place. It bothered me to no end when his eyes held mine. They were secretive, never revealing what their owner's mind was thinking and always looking for me to slip.

Mal's finale was an expected outcome. In the massive plan I had forgotten to accommodate complete breakdown of the artist. I hadn't expected that to happen this soon. But it did and it made my legs quiver. I found my footing soon as the game had gotten complex with him being part of the mix and the air of disbelief he had whenever he was around me. His eyes once betrayed him and moments later so did his mouth.

He suspected me.

The gratification I got from it was what I could never achieve with anyone. He was an adversary who had probably peeked into the dark side and made a choice of just looking at it and never really joining hands with it. He hovered around me, questioned me and made me even give up secrets I hadn't meant to utter. I was utterly glad for the cover stories I had created for myself and gave them to him gladly; his intelligence deserved a reward, didn't it?

The artist came to me and as planned I was his final offer. With that his fantasy would be complete and her time on this damned world would end. The game was designed not to have any winners in the first place. In the second when the artist lifted the knife to strike me, I hesitated. For the first time in my life, I questioned my judgment. Was the game really over? It was the final phase of the plan, sure, but was it really the end? The confusion made me fight back the artist with words. I goaded him, ripped apart his fantasy and pulled him into mine. His confused state of mind and ramblings gave me a moment of peace in which I had to make a decision.

To die or to live?

Dying would end the game in the way it was designed to end. What did living offer me?

The artist raises the knife to strike me with it and then it hits me and it hits me hard.

His eyes…

Hours later I am in hospital nursing few wounds. I had to adjust the plan to provide a better ending that unfortunately or fortunately benefitted me. His visit is expected and I am sure he has realized it by now. He doesn't know or will even understand why if I spend rest of my life explaining it to him why such a thing was done to others. He calls out my demonic ways with his deadly calm eyes.

I think he knows about the voices in my head. I think he knows what I am and what I am capable of.

I think he knows I am a monster.

I challenge him to prove his hypothesis and he simply smiles. I drown in the smile and take all of it because he gave it to me.

It was the last time I saw him.

I changed places and started a new life. I kept my own name because I know that one day he will come. He will come for me fully knowing what I am capable of and what I would have done yet wouldn't have the power to prosecute me. Again.

"You seem to be lost somewhere." A gentle voice awakens me from my past memories.

"Just thinking about…my life before I moved into this city," I tell her honestly.

"You know Geet, I am really grateful for everything you did last week. I just don't know why he would cheat on me, you know? We had such compatibility and all…"

I tune her out as we start walking on now familiar path.

The voices in my head are as loud as ever.

I think it's pretty darn disturbing the last bit made me smirk instead of freaking out like I should have. Geet is the Satan herself, she controls others...the Satan doesn't change its game.

This had to be one of the best psychological thrillers I've read in a long time. Every twist and turn was just executed with sheer brilliance and with your impeccable writing techniques it's just the perfect combination to a great story. This is something that hides in the corner of your psyche and sneaks up on you at the most random moments.

I know this has taken you hours of research and planning, only someone with as much dedication as you could have done this. I've loved reading the updates and the comments, trying to figure out your game. I have learned quite a lot and it has also inspired me to do my own research, learn more about such topics. Thank you for this great story Sookie!