"Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future."
These words perhaps define the mental state of Samrat - the Samrat Shergill of today.
A man today - who has grown up perhaps timely but under the most unfortunate circumstances - when i saw him last night - he was suicidal; he was lonely and he is depressed.
these things were apparent - for his once jovial face had not even the faintest trace of that smile he had - which was so lovely, his eyes which once were filled with dreams and joys which were lit and sparkled with his confidence and glory today seemed empty;
he who was once the life of any party was today on a road where misery as always was not only his company but somehow had found a death wish too on the way to join in on the company.
i was heartbroken dazed and yes also confused; no need to add the mystery thickened.
yes it is apparent he is heartbroken and regrets every second that he lives it, but now perhaps i think i have the answer as to why death wish has suddenly become his favorite hobby.
Samrat shergill the BOY - who was just as lonely had found friends who accompanied him in his misery and took over as family which made him put back all those past memories that haunted him
however Samrat Shergill the MAN - isn't half as lucky ....
last night as he said to himself I will not let anyone else make the mistakes i committed - i felt sorry for him - but today i perhaps see why he has this resolve
saddened by the past affairs - in a state so lonely guided unexpectedly to face his worst fears by the new just as lonely girl Ash as he visited that cursed place which turned the lives of all of the 3 living Topsy- turvy killing the one who still is yet to be unveiled he meets mayank
there Samrat not only acknowledges his mistake but also sulks for his lost company - his only family his friends now too have left him and made him lonely.
samrat tells mayank why - he and others- his friends left him - they never said a word nor punished him - why when he committed this SIN - that killed her enraging mayank
no wonder he was about to commit suicide today almost as after asking for punishment from mayank who after a slap leaves him telling - who am i to punish you this - this is for you to decide as to what should be done with you - how do you manage to live with yourself is something what only you may know - but perhaps the biggest possible punishment to you is this - you being alone deserted - cause no friend can ever do what you did
saying this he leaves - only to make samrat try and take that ultimate step - however - in the ways of fate the sands of time arent meant to be stopped for him - for just then in his imagination appears the one hand that stops him of the one person - who he always needs and has needed - HIS CHASHMISH - she tells him - he cant do this - he has to face what he did - he asks her to be with him - promising to listen every word she says however she is unfazed as she tells him it cant be so - his mistake is to grave to be mended or forgiven and hence it is his destiny his punishment to live on .. like this as this is what he deserves the most
No wonder today he lurks between a past so tragic that he is not living the present for a moment of future he so is afraid of
sometimes life is a punishment bigger then death - and some are just destined - to live with it - deserted on a highway of regret ...