What is true fidelity and love?

What is real fidelity?

Is it ok hubby sleeps with 20 women before marraige than says he has eternal love for you like anuj kapadiya?

I am surprised many women in this forum think its ok for hubby to sleep with 20 women before wedding its not infidelity. I differ here, its ok you go on dates and eat at restaurant and dance etc go to movies etc but sleeping with 20 to 30 women is not done when you do not intend to marry them at all. Its taking advantage of those women i feel.

Do those 20-30 women know you do not intent to marry them at all and love some one else? If they will know will they be ready to even date you forget sleep with you? I do not think even in USA 100% women will want physical relation just for fun. Its only boy friends who they love they may agree to sleep with actually who may eventually become their husbands. What anuj did to those 20 or 30 women was cheating only actually. Unless he told all that he just wants ONS and not a relationship which i doubt he told them(i doubt he told most that he loves anupama and does not really want long committed to them).

Somehow this image is created of western women that they are ok sleeping with many before marriage but its not really true, most want long term commitment especially after college they just do not jump into relationship. Many nowadays even want to be virgin for their husband or to their lover and not want casual flings like anuj wanted. So what anuj did to them was infidelity only in a certain way. Unless he told them truth which he would not.What if some woman truly loved him and when he left she was heart broken like how anupama was after she discovered vanraj EMA. Even hollywood actresses go heart broken and depression when their rich boy friends betray them many times and leave them. So were all these 20 to 30 casual ONS of anuj knowing his truth and fine with it. I doubt if he told truth most would agree for ONS unless they were majboor like in prostitution business(like Mayaa). And even if they want ONS why not have that with their back ground men why anuj kapadiya only? for his money or fame? I doubt 80% would care for his status to get into relationship.

Also all those who say if anuj ONS begets a child its not infedielity really? If anupama had affairs with a man and than after 27 years she gets to know se has son out of that ONS will anuj or vanraj be ok with it? Than both these men who are ex hubby and current hubby will start slandering poor anupama(like they are doing Maayaa)

So why diff rule for hubby and males and different rule for women or wife?

Men can have affairs before wedding its not infideblity. Vanraj can have EMA yet its love oshu affair is mental issue.

But if same thing anupama or kavya or Mayaa do its betrayal and woman is cheap etc labeled

If anupama had 20 affairs outside of wedding will anuj still see here with same respect and love. (while she was not married to anyone)

Everyone here saying anuj accepted anupama ex hubby and kids so anupama should accept his ex child. Oh really? Anupama did not have affair with vanraj out of own will like anuj or vanraj did. She was forced or ordered to marry Vanraj by her mother and hasmukh. She is legally and officially vanraj wife and had 3 kids. So how can we compare a vanraj an her 3 kids no matter how bad they are with anuj Ex women or the child they may be having. (or even ankush and his child from EMA etc)

There is a huge difference between being married legally with consent of family and society and having ONS like anuj, ankush, toshu ema like vanraj etc. Did all these men inform their parents or spouse they will have those ONS or affairs? Did their family or spouse approve those ONS or EMA. Than may be its ok else its also hidding only. If you are so right inform your family or wife i am having ONS or EMA with this woman than i can say its not cheating.

Whatever is done hidden from family or spouse is cheating as per me? After or before marriage does not matter

Like in olden days rich men or king marry many. The wife knows even before her wedding shes not only the kings or emperors wife there will be 30 or more other wives. At least there wife knows shes not his only love or spouse and there are many more wives coming later. Its not like a shock suddenly after 20 years or 26 years you come to know your hubby having affair with another woman and child etc. Atleast in that kings set up first wife has max power and will always be Queen and have max power and eldest son will be king.

Its not like suddenly after 20 years of marriage in 40s the king will come and say "I do not love you i divorce you leave home and family and go i am marrying another". Or its not like suddenly your son is heir to throne or eldest and your hubby king comes and says "I hate you and your son, leave house and go. He will not get any rights or share in property etc my new lover and her child shall get all". Atleast there no matter how many marriage king did first wife and first few wives had rights and powers and their kids too had rights and powers that even King cannot snatch as per his will after 20 or 26 years of marraige.

Unlike todays modern marriages where even at 50 years or 60 years your husband can drop EMA or now wife bombs like vanraj or ankush did on their spouses.

In serial its easy to show at 45 years suddenly woman found EMA divorced married 2nd hubby became rich etc in real life nothing like this ever happens actually. This is all dream scenario what happened to anupama. It usaully happens like dimpy for most without any anuj to save them and shelter them in his bungalow.

We have had these discussions multiple times on the forum, and my stance is same on this.

What you believe isn't always true for all.

Yes,there are women who are okay to sleep with you,and do not look for long-term commitments, and as for Anuj, he said that he was with many, some one-night stand, some he tried to have relationship with but couldn't work out.

People start dating each other, to get to know one another,to know if they are compatible with one another or not,and just because you slept with someone with their consent, does not necessarily mean you have a compulsion to be with them till you die, people get together, have fun,get intimate, and break up, what is so difficult in understanding that?

And why are you under the perception that women only have emotional needs and can't be having physical needs?

It's a choice, and shouldn't be looked down upon. If a girl wants to be with someone only for a night with that person's consent, what is your problem?

You go to clubs, even in India, you will find many such who will be okay with one-night stands, some people have friends with benefits as well. And honestly virginity is over-rated. If two people are purely having a sexual relationship with each others consent, it is okay, yes many a times emotions also do get attached, but how do you know the girls did not know that Anuj isn't looking for something serious? And if the girls did go ahead with him after knowing this as well, you can't clearly blame him for whatever emotional attachment or damage they ended up feeling.

Just because some people can't relate to certain things or arrangements like these, doesn't mean such things don't exist in reality.

We need a fanfiction which adds permanent character growth.

Originally posted by: shubhK2308

We have had these discussions multiple times on the forum, and my stance is same on this.

What you believe isn't always true for all.

Yes,there are women who are okay to sleep with you,and do not look for long-term commitments, and as for Anuj, he said that he was with many, some one-night stand, some he tried to have relationship with but couldn't work out.

People start dating each other, to get to know one another,to know if they are compatible with one another or not,and just because you slept with someone with their consent, does not necessarily mean you have a compulsion to be with them till you die, people get together, have fun,get intimate, and break up, what is so difficult in understanding that?

And why are you under the perception that women only have emotional needs and can't be having physical needs?

It's a choice, and shouldn't be looked down upon. If a girl wants to be with someone only for a night with that person's consent, what is your problem?

You go to clubs, even in India, you will find many such who will be okay with one-night stands, some people have friends with benefits as well. And honestly virginity is over-rated. If two people are purely having a sexual relationship with each others consent, it is okay, yes many a times emotions also do get attached, but how do you know the girls did not know that Anuj isn't looking for something serious? And if the girls did go ahead with him after knowing this as well, you can't clearly blame him for whatever emotional attachment or damage they ended up feeling.

Just because some people can't relate to certain things or arrangements like these, doesn't mean such things don't exist in reality.

Beautiful words to put your views into words .I agree 💯. There is so much perception that women cannot have physical needs .And if a guy is sleeping with a girl either her choice with no strings attach then he is liable to marry her.

Well, a slightly different view. One can have any point of view. The problem is the double standards one exhibits.

If a person believes in certain set ways, he first walks on the path before raising a finger on the other person.

Ankush, Anuj, Paritosh, Vanraj (for that matter anyone on the show, I am sorry to say, including Anupama) have No locus standi or No Moral standing whatsoever to judge or question the modesty of another woman, their "love", profession.

They are criminals themselves of the same crime or abetted the crime in some form or the other.

If one thinks casual relationships are bad/wrong, one DOES NOT have them in the first place. One who has been in a casual relation has no moral standing to judge the other person.

Originally posted by: shubhK2308

We have had these discussions multiple times on the forum, and my stance is same on this.

What you believe isn't always true for all.

Yes,there are women who are okay to sleep with you,and do not look for long-term commitments, and as for Anuj, he said that he was with many, some one-night stand, some he tried to have relationship with but couldn't work out.

People start dating each other, to get to know one another,to know if they are compatible with one another or not,and just because you slept with someone with their consent, does not necessarily mean you have a compulsion to be with them till you die, people get together, have fun,get intimate, and break up, what is so difficult in understanding that?

And why are you under the perception that women only have emotional needs and can't be having physical needs?

It's a choice, and shouldn't be looked down upon. If a girl wants to be with someone only for a night with that person's consent, what is your problem?

You go to clubs, even in India, you will find many such who will be okay with one-night stands, some people have friends with benefits as well. And honestly virginity is over-rated. If two people are purely having a sexual relationship with each others consent, it is okay, yes many a times emotions also do get attached, but how do you know the girls did not know that Anuj isn't looking for something serious? And if the girls did go ahead with him after knowing this as well, you can't clearly blame him for whatever emotional attachment or damage they ended up feeling.

Just because some people can't relate to certain things or arrangements like these, doesn't mean such things don't exist in reality.

This was a sacrcastic post to anuj and ankush who are misbehaving with maya just because shes not as rich as them and taunting her for being dancer etc

Anuj himself is no saint that he can ill treat mayaa or anyone thats why i made this post

I am saying anuj is no great lover like potrayed in show he also has had flings and ONS

So on what basis hes behaving so badly with mayaa

Maya is guest at his home and CA mother

Whys he ill treating her and taunting her so much in front of all

attiti devo bhava bhul gaye kya anuj ankush anupama sab

Imagine maya was educated and very rich family would maan or ankush treat her so

I do believe if man can have affairs and ONS beforwe wedding so can woman

anuj or ankush has no right to question maya or anyone on anything

if anuj can have 20-30 ONS and affairs and anupama did not queston him what gives him right to question maya whose CA father what profession she is?

If anuj was not adopted who knows he may be uneducated or mechanic in garage or waiter or anything

Hes taking undue advantage of the richness and name his parents provided him by adopting him

least that i expected him to be symapthetic and not throw stones at mayaa

when he himself had ONs and affairs with many women in USA how can he question maya character and whose CA father antecedent etc - i just put it sarcastically

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

Well, a slightly different view. One can have any point of view. The problem is the double standards one exhibits.

If a person believes in certain set ways, he first walks on the path before raising a finger on the other person.

Ankush, Anuj, Paritosh, Vanraj (for that matter anyone on the show, I am sorry to say, including Anupama) have No locus standi or No Moral standing whatsoever to judge or question the modesty of another woman, their "love", profession.

They are criminals themselves of the same crime or abetted the crime in some form or the other.

If one thinks casual relationships are bad/wrong, one DOES NOT have them in the first place. One who has been in a casual relation has no moral standing to judge the other person.

exactly my feeling none has locus standi to question maya in kapadiya house or shah house on whose CA father whats her profession etc and taunt her ill treat her or sushmaa

if anuj can have ONs with many women still be considered greatest lover even mayaa although she had child out of wed lock or a bar dancer has self respect and no human whatsover can taunt and ill treat her like untouchable after calling as guest at hoome

Least of all anuj whose educated in USA and himself an orphan

If anuj had ONS and had a child out of wed lock will anupama and shahs or kapadiyas accept unconditionally they will create such ruckus because in india blood ties and society approval matters a lot.

I observed in this serial those who are richer or better off tend to insult women or those not better than them money wise or society wise like baa and vanraj have more money so insult kanat ben, bhavesh and anuj ankush insult mayaa, baa insult anuj as hes adopted, Baa insult CA as adopted, anupama misbehaving with mayaa, baa insult barkha and devika and kavya for being modern doivorced, now anuj and ankush insult maaya as shes bar dancer and no hubby with her daughter etc

Anuj never knew he would marry Anupama as she was settled in her life.

Anuj may have tried to move on with different girls but he never got the kind of girl he would fell in love with.

Anuj wasn't waiting for Anupama, he closed her chapter after her marriage n was just reminiscing as a beautiful memory of first love. There might be times where he would have felt lonely n depressed. He would have wanted a woman's company as its natural tendency. So it's fine to f*ck around with different ppl as long as u r not cheating anyone n making false promises.

Anuj never said his GFs wanted to marry him n he rejected as he loved Anupama. It seems none of his relationship worked out.

If Anuj's mother would be alive may be she would have pushed him for marriage n Anuj might be having a wife n kids too.

Anuj never wanted to be a brahmachari he just couldn't got his choice of girl n no relation of his lasted. Like his friend dhiraj too doesn't wants to live a solitary life he wants a family n love. Devika too seemed lonely when she didn't wanted Dhiraj to go. She too might be having boyfriends but if she wants to settle with Dhiraj will it be wrong.

N it's wrong to expect ppl to live a lonely life just because they love someone n were unlucky in love n marriage.

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

Well, a slightly different view. One can have any point of view. The problem is the double standards one exhibits.

If a person believes in certain set ways, he first walks on the path before raising a finger on the other person.

Ankush, Anuj, Paritosh, Vanraj (for that matter anyone on the show, I am sorry to say, including Anupama) have No locus standi or No Moral standing whatsoever to judge or question the modesty of another woman, their "love", profession.

They are criminals themselves of the same crime or abetted the crime in some form or the other.

If one thinks casual relationships are bad/wrong, one DOES NOT have them in the first place. One who has been in a casual relation has no moral standing to judge the other person.

Agree

My view : i didn't know when Anuj told about his affairs/flings. But reading forum got to know this.

But my point is if he had ONS/AFFAIR with his own will and still consider himself as someone great who only loved one girl in 26 year Anupama. So why he is against Maya/sushma when he doesn't even know in which circumstances she had to work in bar , some women are forced into this, some due to poverty , some got into this due to blackmailing and many other reasons. Instead of sympathy or trying to know the reason why she choose to work in bar he treats her as some untouchable.

Being practical, girl child are not safe with their mothers if they work as pros** , cause people will have bad intention towards that girl also. And try to force her too. So it's better that child stay with foster parents or at child care.

But here she is currently shown as someone who is rich , business women so it seems choti anu will be safe with her .

So let's see if they discuss serious issues with decency or just create drama and at the end of the track

AnupaMa will be right whichever side she takes

Yes,I do agree on the same...none has a right to judge Maya on her profession, no one wishes to enter such professions on their own will,they are forced to be it due to financial obligations, family obligations etc.

So judging Maya on the basis of that is wrong.