Raising kids - Actions have consequences - Page 2

Originally posted by: surabhi01

Is it easy for mother to give teach their own work all alone to three children when she has no support system of husband

To give proper teaching daily to children mother need atleat 2 hr to train ur children .to train their children mother required time

But anupama could not even has 5 minutes to teach children because her schedule was very hectic because vanraj baa ek kaam nahi uthate they

Chota se chote kaam bhi vanraj aur baa nahi karte they want anupama should do it .

Anupama has no time to sit . She keep running from one to room for 18 hrs a vanraj and baa didn't any work

When anupama has no time to sit and moreover she don't have support system because of tha she don't get time to teach children right from childhood

Because anupama doesn’t have any life skill . Because anupama is breathing wrong fundas and she thinks she is absolutely right being baa ki bakri 🐑 since baa is elder to her. Her absolutely wrong mentality is reason she became slave of her mother in law and husband. Anupama’s own slave mentality is responsible that she couldn’t come out of slavery even after her divorce.

Kanta nourished this slave mentality for elders in anupama since her childhood and till date anupama couldn’t come out of Slave mentality nourished by kanta that’s why she was making gujiya on Leela’s order.

Slave mentality is syndrome and mostly parents are responsible for developing this slave mentality in daughters like kanta did to anupama. Now anupama is unable to come out of this syndrome.

Kanta is the root cause of anupama’s slave mentality. Leela and vanraj are those who are using kanta’s given mentality for personal benefits.

Mother should never nourished slave mentality for in-laws in daughter.

Kanta comes very orthodox and very poor family background where people nourished slave mentality in daughters for sasuralwale.

May be anupama’s father was little better than kanta but he died and kanta raised anupama with slave mentality.

Originally posted by: Loveforworld

Anupama has made being a mother her whole identity in worst way possible. Not because she loves her children too much. But because she is insecure. She knows once her children learn to do things independently, she won't have anything to do and she will become useless in her own eyes. Now all her children are a mess, look at accha beta samar, who gave up a good job opportunity in London when his family was in dire need of money, just because he couldn't live away from mommy.

We've been taught when opportunity knocks you take it. I never understood why in the name of 'family' he didn't go? Again wasn't taught to adult.

I mean there were no dire circumstances that withheld his leaving. 🤔🤔🤔

Doesn't everyone leave home at one point? Be it for studies, job, new opportunities, even marriage I mean I am not even talking about US.

Eg my cousin after 12th class applied many places and got in engg in Tamil Nadu after completion she now lives in Bombay and works for an MNC, she left home and is probably never going back to her parents home.

They show many many wrong/misleading social messages on the show

Originally posted by: prerna4rishav

My kid is 4 year old, and there are things he can do independently like dressing down/up, washing hands, brush. It’s a result of long training given since childhood.

Now in summer i had my parents and in-laws coming here. And for every little thing related to my kid, they’d ALL direct the questions to either me or my spouse or would scold us, not explaining or giving chance to the kid to learn next time. They didn’t learn in 3 months and now they left. 😆 So I dont know about this generation, but the prev. generation was pretty much helicopter parents.

Thanks for the term, I didn’t know this type has a name.

Exactly... Great example of your child, teaching these responsibilities begins at a very young age.

At every age a child can be taught to do something, be it dressing or making bed, setting table, taking trash out, helping with cleanup etc.

I remember when my kids were younger like 4-5, I used to bring warm laundry and pile it high and let them jump it, and then asked them to sort them, socks, colors etc eventually taught them to wash, dry and fold the laundry too and now they do it themselves for the most part(not always to my liking but it's done and put away)

You have to let them make mistakes and learn, not run and do it for them, that's the only way they'll learn while at home and be ready to face the real world.

I definitely feel many Indian parents are overbearing and helicopter parents some due to gender based roles we had while growing up. Girls learn cooking and boys (outside work) bahar ka kaam.

Can't do that in this generation, my son can cook and sew...These are basic skills everyone should learn. Why should he be dependent on someone for those as an adult? 🤔👏🏻

That's why I cannot connect with the way of life/upbringing in Anupamaa's house.

Yes, that's what bothered me. Then he went on a rant about those who shift away from home and said they are miserable and sad because they stay away from family. I so wanted to punch the tv screen.

Originally posted by: Loveforworld

Yes, that's what bothered me. Then he went on a rant about those who shift away from home and said they are miserable and sad because they stay away from family. I so wanted to punch the tv screen.

Show ka producer Rajan Shahi has been in Sydney, he went to drop of his daughter for higher studies to university there hahaha

Today world has become so advanced, boat steamer mein Jana nahi hai, that you don't k ow what happens for months after they leave. facetime Karo and you can see/talk to loved ones.

Didn't Paras Kalnawat himself leave the #1 show for even better opportunities 😜

Why can't they show relevant things like that, leaving home, the misgivings about leaving, encouragement from family to forge ahead in life for opportunities...maybe you might fail, but family support is there, show that Instead of making it more regressive

It’d take another decade for ITV to show concepts on letting children be, letting them live their own life, letting them decide on their own stuffs.

Till then enjoy the family drama, sacrificing for family, glorifying it, women playing these roles of man-fixers while men continue to play manchild roles. 😆

Originally posted by: SmithaRam

Are most moms in India like Anupama? I am also curious to know. Are kids mollycoddled like it is being depicted? I hope not. I know we should not be generalizing, but what is the observation in your close family/friends circles?

No they are not. Not "all" of them definitely. But that's the point..most of our parents were like this ..majorly bec our mothers took up the role of the housewife ..and I appreciate it ..anupama belongs to that generation not ours...

What they did in anupama is to degrade the house wives so much that it looks like a major burden , not to forget the infidelity and gulping insults day in day out..not every woman's story is hers.

My mom wasn't a helicopter parent but she does made sure her husband and family r well fed..she used to cook for us , still does ..after my brothers marriage i took a lot of pain to convince her to step back and let her dil handle it the way she wants..my bhabhi employed a cook and she doesn't take any interest in house work ..so my mil adjusted her routine instead of forcing bhabhi to follow hers.

As a mother of 2 daughters , I want my daughters to be independent in every way , even learn to do house jobs like cooking cleaning making up their beds etc and they do it ..my friends encourage their sons to do the same.. since children r too much into studying and activities , they don't find much time ..but after schooling as they go foe higher studies away for home , they learn everything automatically ..

Plus , nowdays the girls r totally against the idea of marrying a mammas boy, demand equal roles equal responsibilities before marriage ..

So age old traditions are still valuable to us , and we're adapting to the new changes , it's sad that shows like anupama r degrading our culture and our women .

Jub kisi ke Ghar ki financial condition poor hoti Hai to aisi slave mentality ho jaati hai

When anupama got marry she was not financial independent plus does not have any financial support ahd also she become mother of two children at young age that is 19 and 22 islye use tolerate karna pada

When she does not have any financial support .to kya anupama apne chote bachon ko ko khud raise kar paati .aur anupama ki Maa bhi kya kar paati anupama aur uske bachon ke liye if anupama has left vanraj long ago jub uski maa bhi financial strong nahi thi

Yeh to serial hai jahan Kanta keh rahi thi anupama ko apne saath rahegi after divorce

Real life mein daughter ke own parents to bhi beti ko kehte hai ki tum Jaano aur tumhara sasural jaae.tumhara jaisa sasural waisa nibhhaao

Agar tunmne samurai walon aur husband se lad jhagad ke aayi tumhe yahan mayke mein ghusne nahi denge hum tumhe apne Ghar mein zindagi bhar na bitha paayeenge

. BTW I was not talking about anupama ki slave mentality baa ki taraf after divorce gayi ki nahi .that is different matter

I was talking about why anupama could not train children iin childhood because of lack of support system

In school also also sabhi ke coordinate be it principal school manager aur teeacher ke coordination se hi student mein discipline install Kar paate hai

I have seen a real.life mom ki uska 1 ahd half year ka beta haiai .woh maa Har time aone bache ko godi mein hi liye rehti hai

Apna roomband ke baith jaayegi aur apne pass 1 abd half year ke bache ko apne pass bed pe litaaa ke rakhi rahegi

She does not let her 1 ahd half year child to run ahd walk on his own bus usko Har time godi mein liye rshegi aur doosro ke pass bhi aone bachon ko jaane nahi deti

Agar uska Baccha lo to aur kaho ki bache ko free chodo woh mother doosre nochne lagti hai kaatne lagti hai aur chillabe lagti hai

Even she start fighting with child specialist when child specialist say aapka i bacha age ke hisaab se slow hai .us child specialist ne paper khuch advice Kiya aur kaha ki ek baad mein bachein progress dekhein ge to us mother ne child specialist se bhi ladna shuru kar diya

Anupama to tabhi kaafi better hai

Originally posted by: surabhi01

Jub kisi ke Ghar ki financial condition poor hoti Hai to aisi slave mentality ho jaati hai

When anupama got marry she was not financial independent plus does not have any financial support ahd also she become mother of two children at young age that is 19 and 22 islye use tolerate karna pada

When she does not have any financial support .to kya anupama apne chote bachon ko ko khud raise kar paati .aur anupama ki Maa bhi kya kar paati anupama aur uske bachon ke liye if anupama has left vanraj long ago jub uski maa bhi financial strong nahi thi

Yeh to serial hai jahan Kanta keh rahi thi anupama ko apne saath rahegi after divorce

Real life mein daughter ke own parents to bhi beti ko kehte hai ki tum Jaano aur tumhara sasural jaae.tumhara jaisa sasural waisa nibhhaao

Agar tunmne samurai walon aur husband se lad jhagad ke aayi tumhe yahan mayke mein ghusne nahi denge hum tumhe apne Ghar mein zindagi bhar na bitha paayeenge

. BTW I was not talking about anupama ki slave mentality baa ki taraf after divorce gayi ki nahi .that is different matter

I was talking about why anupama could not train children iin childhood because of lack of support system

In school also also sabhi ke coordinate be it principal school manager aur teeacher ke coordination se hi student mein discipline install Kar paate hai

@bold I was saying about the same that why anupama couldn’t train her children in childhood. For me kanta is very responsible for nourishing anupama with slave mentality. Agar kanta ne apni beti ko SHERNI banaya hota toh better hota.

Mere domestic helper bahot poor hai par itni strong mentality hai ki akele he khud ke liye kafi and uski Beti ko bhi bold upbringing de rahi hai.

Thik hai anupama ka khud background extremely weak hai so samaj aata hai woh aise kyun rahi sasural mai.

Vanraj and Leela are worst lekin jinko bold parvarish mili ko woh shaitano ka saamna better way se kar sakte hai. Yaha anupama ko kanta ne poor financial structure mai bold parvarish nahi diya jiska fayda anupama ke sasuralwalo ne uthaya.