Raising kids - Actions have consequences

Actions have consequences

I am not sure why Anupamaa is a helicopter parent (parents who help school aged students with tasks they're capable of doing alone and she is doing this to her grown adult children, Why??

Are most mom in India like Anupamaa? When will Children adult then? No you can't be making tea, coffee for your kids on demand, do their laundry, they can figure it out - again this pertains to task they can do themselves with proper resources.

How about creating a balanced lifestyle by making concrete rules and consequences yet allowing her children to make their own life choices??

Young children need to be taught that their actions have consequences. Yes they definitely need to be guided in the right direction, we should be willing to help, provide resources but not do it for them. It starts at a young age.

Eg. If my teenager forgets to take water bottle after several reminders, will I run to school to give it? NO.

I know there are plenty of water fountains at school so they won't die of thirst, if I run and go give, they know mommy will always come, it'll become a habit, when will they adult?

So one day they don't have it, they'll never forget it next time, same thing with homework, cell phone, musical instrument, projects, school ID, lunch box etc etc... That list is never ending, nope it is their responsibility to take it, I gave plenty of reminders, advise to pack it previous night etc if you don't take it it's not my problem that you forgot it. Their actions have consequences

Mind you this is not for young kids who are just learning, this is more of teenage and older kids who know actions/consequences.

I always tell my work teams, my kids, "An emergency on their part or lack of preparedness on their part is not an emergency on my part"

Have I still helped them out, yes on many occasions, that's what moms do, haven't let them out hanging, but we take each one as a learning opportunity and move on.

If you forget to pay mortgage or water or any bill, you had plenty of time, reminders, but you forgot, what are the consequences? you have to pay hefty late fee and guess what you'll never miss a payment again.

Anupama wants to do it all for everyone, why? Does she not think her kids can do it? At this rate they'll never adult 🙂 which we see in the show, even her ex-husband is a Big man child who needs to be served his food in a plate or pickup his plate after dinner 😡

She has to learn to be part of their support system not do it, she shouldn't raise kintosh's baby, should not serve hand and foot to everyone's wishes (coffee tea, smoothie, protein shake), burger day, me fatafat Kar deti hun, but why? toshu kicked out of the house it's the consequence of his actions, not her problem. Why run to Shah house at any little issue, let them figure it out!

If she has given them these values, then trust their choices, Advise when asked but until then let them figure it out.

Our job as parents is to raise kids into adults who know how to make good choices, be responsible, be dependable, and take accountability for their actions.

Originally posted by: V_ka_attitude

Actions have consequences

I am not sure why Anupamaa is a helicopter parent (parents who help school aged students with tasks they're capable of doing alone and she is doing this to her grown adult children, Why??

Are most parents in India like Anupamaa? When will Children adult then? No you can't be making tea, coffee for your kids on demand, do their laundry, they can figure it out - again this pertains to task they can do themselves with proper resources.

How about creating a balanced lifestyle by making concrete rules and consequences yet allowing her children to make their own life choices??

Young children need to be taught that their actions have consequences. Yes they definitely need to be guided in the right direction, we should be willing to help, provide resources but not do it for them. It starts at a young age.

Eg. If my teenager forgets to take water bottle after several reminders, will I run to school to give it? NO.

I know there are plenty of water fountains at school so they won't die of thirst, if I run and go give, they know mommy will always come, it'll become a habit, when will they adult?

So one day they don't have it, they'll never forget it next time, same thing with homework, cell phone, musical instrument, projects, school ID, lunch box etc etc... That list is never ending, nope it is their responsibility to take it, I gave plenty of reminders, advise to pack it previous night etc if you don't take it it's not my problem that you forgot it. Their actions have consequences

Mind you this is not for young kids who are just learning, this is more of teenage and older kids who know actions/consequences.

I always tell my work teams, my kids, "An emergency on their part or lack of preparedness on their part is not an emergency on my part"

Have I still helped them out, yes on many occasions, that's what moms do, haven't let them out hanging, but we take each one as a learning opportunity and move on.

If you forget to pay mortgage or water or any bill, you had plenty of time, reminders, but you forgot, what are the consequences? you have to pay hefty late fee and guess what you'll never miss a payment again.

Anupama wants to do it all for everyone, why? Does she not think her kids can do it? At this rate they'll never adult 🙂 which we see in the show, even her ex-husband is a Big man child who needs to be served his food in a plate or pickup his plate after dinner 😡

She has to learn to be part of their support system not do it, she shouldn't raise kintosh's baby, should not serve hand and foot to everyone's wishes (coffee tea, smoothie, protein shake), burger day, me fatafat Kar deti hun, but why?

Our job as parents is to raise kids into adults who know how to make good choices, be responsible, be dependable, and take accountability for their actions.

Lovely message Vaibs. 😊

Agree accountability sometimes needs to be taught.

Sometimes parents forget their kids are not like them. They may have learnt those responsibilities due to their upbringing and circumstances example, rural area versus urban life.

However if they are not upbringing their children in the circumstances, how do they expect their children to learn 🤔 😅 as each generation faces different areas of learning on this world

Best way is to have a friendship and open dialogue with your children. Understand their frustration and acknowledge that you may also learn from them 👍🏼

Originally posted by: DJ_3

Lovely message Vaibs. 😊

Agree accountability sometimes needs to be taught.

Sometimes parents forget their kids are not like them. They may have learnt those responsibilities due to their upbringing and circumstances example, rural area versus urban life.

However if they are not upbringing their children in the circumstances, how do they expect their children to learn 🤔 😅 as each generation faces different arwas of learning on this world

Best way is to have a friendship and open dialogue with your children. Understand their frustration and acknowledge that you may also learn from them 👍🏼

Absolutely, today's world is totally different then what it was just 15 yrs ago forget 50yr ago, parenting should change too.

Like you said, open dialogue, open communication is one of the important keys in raising adults.

No one should be taken for granted, children or parents.

It's a two way street , you can't bark orders like Vanraj does and expect everything to be done and neither be a Anupamaa where she does everything at the expense of her health and sanity.

One thing is for sure we learn from the serial - all things not to do hahahaha

Don't bark orders, don't be abusive, don't be submissive, don't shout, don't disrespect, the louder you are doesn't make you right, don't run and do everything for everyone, don't sit idle, don't interfere in others issues, don't cheat, don't lie..etc etc etc...

At this rate we can write a novel out of this....

anupama is too over bearing a mother

she must let her kids be independent in life

she must let them fall and get up and learn on own

Anupama can drop and pick kids from school but anything else is bad

If vanraj and Baa are responsible for pakhi and toshu spoiling and samar under confidence anupam also has equal blame

Its not enough to give birth to kids and give them eery comfort you have to teach values right and wrong etc

Originally posted by: V_ka_attitude

Actions have consequences

I am not sure why Anupamaa is a helicopter parent (parents who help school aged students with tasks they're capable of doing alone and she is doing this to her grown adult children, Why??

Are most mom in India like Anupamaa? When will Children adult then? No you can't be making tea, coffee for your kids on demand, do their laundry, they can figure it out - again this pertains to task they can do themselves with proper resources.

How about creating a balanced lifestyle by making concrete rules and consequences yet allowing her children to make their own life choices??

Young children need to be taught that their actions have consequences. Yes they definitely need to be guided in the right direction, we should be willing to help, provide resources but not do it for them. It starts at a young age.

Eg. If my teenager forgets to take water bottle after several reminders, will I run to school to give it? NO.

I know there are plenty of water fountains at school so they won't die of thirst, if I run and go give, they know mommy will always come, it'll become a habit, when will they adult?

So one day they don't have it, they'll never forget it next time, same thing with homework, cell phone, musical instrument, projects, school ID, lunch box etc etc... That list is never ending, nope it is their responsibility to take it, I gave plenty of reminders, advise to pack it previous night etc if you don't take it it's not my problem that you forgot it. Their actions have consequences

Mind you this is not for young kids who are just learning, this is more of teenage and older kids who know actions/consequences.

I always tell my work teams, my kids, "An emergency on their part or lack of preparedness on their part is not an emergency on my part"

Have I still helped them out, yes on many occasions, that's what moms do, haven't let them out hanging, but we take each one as a learning opportunity and move on.

If you forget to pay mortgage or water or any bill, you had plenty of time, reminders, but you forgot, what are the consequences? you have to pay hefty late fee and guess what you'll never miss a payment again.

Anupama wants to do it all for everyone, why? Does she not think her kids can do it? At this rate they'll never adult 🙂 which we see in the show, even her ex-husband is a Big man child who needs to be served his food in a plate or pickup his plate after dinner 😡

She has to learn to be part of their support system not do it, she shouldn't raise kintosh's baby, should not serve hand and foot to everyone's wishes (coffee tea, smoothie, protein shake), burger day, me fatafat Kar deti hun, but why? toshu kicked out of the house it's the consequence of his actions, not her problem. Why run to Shah house at any little issue, let them figure it out!

If she has given them these values, then trust their choices, Advise when asked but until then let them figure it out.

Our job as parents is to raise kids into adults who know how to make good choices, be responsible, be dependable, and take accountability for their actions.

don't you get the real point by now ?😆 They can do work by themselves but Fir anupama ,I mean rupali Ganguly ka screen space aur footage chala jaayega. Both SP and RG have more than required screen space.

Anupama wants to make everyone handicap that’s why she never say NO .

Nikkame bacche 100% handicap tab ho jate hai when mother never say no means no.

Apni Jay jaykar karane ke liye she never uses line that no means no.

Anupama has made being a mother her whole identity in worst way possible. Not because she loves her children too much. But because she is insecure. She knows once her children learn to do things independently, she won't have anything to do and she will become useless in her own eyes. Now all her children are a mess, look at accha beta samar, who gave up a good job opportunity in London when his family was in dire need of money, just because he couldn't live away from mommy.

Is it easy for mother to give teach their own work all alone to three children when she has no support system of husband

To give proper teaching daily to children mother need atleat 2 hr to train ur children .to train their children mother required time

But anupama could not even has 5 minutes to teach children because her schedule was very hectic because vanraj baa ek kaam nahi uthate they

Chota se chote kaam bhi vanraj aur baa nahi karte they want anupama should do it .

Anupama has no time to sit . She keep running from one to room for 18 hrs a vanraj and baa didn't any work

When anupama has no time to sit and moreover she don't have support system because of tha she don't get time to teach children right from childhood

Originally posted by: V_ka_attitude

Actions have consequences

I am not sure why Anupamaa is a helicopter parent (parents who help school aged students with tasks they're capable of doing alone and she is doing this to her grown adult children, Why??

Are most mom in India like Anupamaa? When will Children adult then? No you can't be making tea, coffee for your kids on demand, do their laundry, they can figure it out - again this pertains to task they can do themselves with proper resources.

Are most moms in India like Anupama? I am also curious to know. Are kids mollycoddled like it is being depicted? I hope not. I know we should not be generalizing, but what is the observation in your close family/friends circles?

My kid is 4 year old, and there are things he can do independently like dressing down/up, washing hands, brush. It’s a result of long training given since childhood.

Now in summer i had my parents and in-laws coming here. And for every little thing related to my kid, they’d ALL direct the questions to either me or my spouse or would scold us, not explaining or giving chance to the kid to learn next time. They didn’t learn in 3 months and now they left. 😆 So I dont know about this generation, but the prev. generation was pretty much helicopter parents.

Thanks for the term, I didn’t know this type has a name.