Vanraj is the love of Anupamaa's Life

there.

i said it.

i've been thinking it, you might have been too.

anupamaa is brainwashed/programmed/wired so hard that i wouldnt be surprised if Vanraj was her handler.

she is possessed by the shahs.

her value comes from being subservient to her family

her and anuj are equals which is why she doesnt feel that same pull

it's frightening to watch the survivor being in the same space as the abuser, over and over and over again

somewhere she doesnt think those 26 years were that bad

she needs intense therapy (maybe some meds) so get past what has happened

would be nice to see her have a good moment without reflecting on how bad Vanraj was to her

she is not in position to move forward, happily with anyone (not even herself) until she has really had time to process walking in on him and kavya

at best her and anuj need to continue to date or just be friends

she is in deficit big time when it comes to trust.

they are not ready to get married

her heart is just not in it and you can tell

anuj will always be 2nd everything - man, home, family

there is a reason why she hasnt told him that she loves him...

cuz deep down her reality is that Voldemort is the love of her life

✌🏽

Dropping a pallu to res

**********

Carefully picking up the pallu making sure it's not still being clutched by others who may or may not have wiped noses with it ;)

“would be nice to see her have a good moment without reflecting on how bad Vanraj was to her”

^This! This is central to the problem I feel. Every emotion she feels is related to her life with Vanraj. Yes, it’s normal to sometimes have a wry or painful thought about the contrast between then and now, but not when every feeling is associated with the past.

A broken relationship like hers is almost akin to the grief of bereavement. Her husband’s betrayal had totally blindsided her. It wasn't just the infidelity itself, it was also to do with the person who he was betraying their marriage with. A faceless stranger is painful enough to deal with, but someone who has been a constant in your life and home, and who you have supported, that is another level of hurt. As is the sheer number of years it had been going on for.

She had been completely invested in that marriage. Every action and thought of hers had her husband at the forefront. Her idea of love and marriage and relationships emanated and ended with Vanraj. So, when something like this shatters, it takes time to absorb and accept. People speak of the 5 stages of grief, but they are not binary, are they. Where has she had the time or, quite frankly, the inclination to stop and introspect.

She has been tied to Vanraj in one way or another, despite the divorce and leaving Shah house. You can argue it is her inherent goodness that makes her keep on helping him and believing he’s changed in his thinking, but is that the only reason? She’s still mentally tied to him at so many levels.

Anuj has professed his love for her, but does she truly love him? She is constantly equating it with a divine love. Almost an abstract, worshipful love. He soothes the parts in her that the past has ravaged. Of course, it will make you soften towards that person. She likes him, is very fond of him. He is a good person. His value set is similar to hers. He is all that Vanraj is not.

But, the crux of the matter is that she still weighs it against her relationship with Vanraj. Right now, at this moment in time, she doesn’t feel for Anuj what she has felt for Vanraj for those 25/26 years. She can’t. Her heart is not cleansed of him. The question is, will it ever? I don’t think so. The threads that tie them together are too tangled and the two holding opposite ends are not even trying to untangle them.

can I have a bit of it too Ruchi😳

Mummy..,mummy …I need a bit of pallu too😭

This cringe is deja vu from days when she lived in the house after divorce returning from resort.

It took months of tortuous episodes for her finally move out.

Now back to the same old point. 😕

She was conditioned to love her husband. She comes from that generation. She was taught that she must love her husband and fulfill all her duties as a wife, DIL etc etc etc. It took her 25 years to come to terms with the fact that he never loved her, that she needs to stand up for her self-respect... If he had really been the love of her life, she would have compromised on everything and never gotten the divorce when Vanraj was literally begging and pleading her to not leave him, he even confessed that he loves her then.... Also at the time, she was diagnosed with cancer and was in the worse situation of her life... she would have never gotten divorce.. Everyone was against the divorce except Samar. So, no I disagree with you.

She might have loved Vanraj in the sense that she was taught to "love" her husband.. she comes from that school of thought. But I doubt she really knew what love is when she was with Vanraj. Over time she realized that it wasn't love, it was just her conditioning... I think she understood what true love is only when she met Anuj and when she understood and realized how much he loved her..

Originally posted by: YoungHeart

She might have loved Vanraj in the sense that she was taught to "love" her husband.. she comes from that school of thought. But I doubt she really knew what love is when she was with Vanraj. Over time she realized that it wasn't love, it was just her conditioning...

I like the perspective.

Originally posted by: SmithaRam

This cringe is deja vu from days when she lived in the house after divorce returning from resort.

It took months of tortuous episodes for her finally move out.

Now back to the same old point. 😕

Originally posted by: YoungHeart

She was conditioned to love her husband. She comes from that generation. She was taught that she must love her husband and fulfill all her duties as a wife, DIL etc etc etc. It took her 25 years to come to terms with the fact that he never loved her, that she needs to stand up for her self-respect... If he had really been the love of her life, she would have compromised on everything and never gotten the divorce when Vanraj was literally begging and pleading her to not leave him, he even confessed that he loves her then.... Also at the time, she was diagnosed with cancer and was in the worse situation of her life... she would have never gotten divorce.. Everyone was against the divorce except Samar. So, no I disagree with you.

She might have loved Vanraj in the sense that she was taught to "love" her husband.. she comes from that school of thought. But I doubt she really knew what love is when she was with Vanraj. Over time she realized that it wasn't love, it was just her conditioning... I think she understood what true love is only when she met Anuj and when she understood and realized how much he loved her..

Originally posted by: YoungHeart

She might have loved Vanraj in the sense that she was taught to "love" her husband.. she comes from that school of thought. But I doubt she really knew what love is when she was with Vanraj. Over time she realized that it wasn't love, it was just her conditioning... I think she understood what true love is only when she met Anuj and when she understood and realized how much he loved her..

I dont think she still understands or knows what love is...Anuj may have given her a sneak peakto the idea of love but she is yet to know what it actually means, she’s way too invested in her ex to even think of her present or future. She will never be able to love Anuj for the right reasons, thats if she ever loves him back, cause at this point she has only accepted the notion of being in love with Anuj, she still has long way to go to feel it or live it IMHO