Vanraj is the love of Anupamaa's Life - Page 5

Originally posted by: Km181

@bold: this is my current state too..cursing myself at times to why did i even start and how do i now break away this emotional attachment.

Damn, I swear, i was never ever this invested emotionally in any ITV before, hell i never had time for anything ITV in my life before Corona and this WFH...

I hate Corona for this reason too, if it wasn't for Corona, i would have never started with Anupama for sure.

For the record, i understand if Anupama faces same issues as myself in breaking away from Vanraj and Shah family ....

there is huge difference ... ACKNOWLEDGEMENT from my side and DELUSION on her side..

I try and fail and will keep trying till i succeed or makers fix...

But for Anupama, its perfect, her X-patidev, X-saas, her X-parivar is Perfect ...

And Sadly for Anuj, his love, his Anupama is perfect. Dude love is blind when will you open your eyes and accept this fact. No wonder it stayed for 26 years because you never knew or loved the real person Anupama. And no wonder, you are stooping so low to keep her happy, like giving Vanraj another chance at cost of Mukku. You too, my man are obsessed with her.

Ali, this is the answer to your question - How did Anuj loved Anu for 26 years... because it's actually not love, it's some obsession, strong desire to possess, to have her in his life. Its different fact that being gentleman, he will treat her well once he gets her.

Vanraj also harbours same feelings, he wants to possess, to own Anupama. Difference being, once he gets her he will not treat her well.

Two kids fighting for a toy they need desperately, one will put her on display in his doll house and other will prick needles and break her. And Anupama is the perfect Doll here, she hasnt showed any human or mortal feelings so far either, she is maahan devi, selfless types, works 24/7, has no memories, no self respect.

Originally posted by: Fighter03

Well thats quite unrealistic.

Unrequited love may be considered valid, but having feelings for someone whom you have never even talked to is more of a teenage crush or infatuation. It should have resolved over time.

To continue that infatuation for 26 years is something I can’t fit into a normal emotional phenomenon.

You’re right, it could be projection. He probably identified Anupama’s moral values- simplicity, sacrifice, righteousness- and recognised them as same as his own, or maybe his mother’s. And hence he made a strong projection of his own values on to her and continued to desire her all his life.

Now, however, the traits he displays are more of actual love. Fighting for her, standing up for her, valuing her happiness above all, wanting to build something with her- thats long term love. Maybe his unresolved infatuation bloomed into love when he actually got to know her.

Again, we don’t understand love in medical science other than its a complex release of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine affecting certain areas of the brain.

We definitely can’t expect makers of a daily soap to understand even logic, let alone psychiatry or psychology! 😆🤪

Originally posted by: BaAZiGar0

thanks for sharing that. it gives me hope that one day i will get over bae. 😆 so…can an infatuation hold you back in life to that extent? was he so lost in his fantasy world with her that it held him back from getting married? like the fantasy was better than the reality? sorry to grill you…

The marriage topic - I don't think he was lost in his fantasy. I think it is more to do with his love for her. Maybe (just going by a few real life experiences) for him getting married to someone else knowing the love for her wouldn't have done justice to him or the other person. So why spoil 2 lives and the numerous families involved? Like he mentioned in the mandir scene that he has had his fair share of "fun", so probably he realised this long back that no matter who he is with, he will never be able to do justice to their love for him. For him, he has only known love for one person.

I agree, maybe this "fantasy" of unrequited love was better than the reality of being married to the "wrong" person, but again, it was a choice he was willing to make, rather made. I know it is kinda hard to digest, but maybe this is what true love is all about.

PS - don't get over bae naa...think about those hot biceps, seena, jawline, adam's apples and above all, that love! Now that's fantasy 😆

Originally posted by: BaAZiGar0

thanks for sharing that. it gives me hope that one day i will get over bae. 😆 so…can an infatuation hold you back in life to that extent? was he so lost in his fantasy world with her that it held him back from getting married? like the fantasy was better than the reality? sorry to grill you…

It can hold you back if you allow it to.
If its a two sided relationship it requires efforts and perseverance to maintain the spark.

But if its unrequited love or infatuation, again it requires efforts to push it aside. It benefits no one, least of all the lover.

Some people who are able to compartmentalise the feelings though can keep loving without letting it affect their daily lives. Which is what Anuj did I suppose. But that requires discipline.

Some people try hard to forget, break all contact, and they are successful in moving on. Some people compartmentalise. Some people though keep dwelling on the same feelings and let it affect their personality and behaviour which is toxic.

In words of Albus Dumbledore- It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.