Who can best help resolve the issues between the sisters? - Page 5

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Posted: 5 years ago
#41

Originally posted by: tumhiho

Hello hello, I’m backkkk! 😎
No one called me here but I can’t help myself, when I read yall’s conversation I had to insert myself in there lol. Everyone in this forum already knows how geeky I am when it comes to MishKu😆

Hope y’all have fun reading the essay that I wrote 👍🏼I sincerely apologize for the length oh my god, I didn’t realize it was this long

@priyapak- I understand everything you’re saying and I somewhat agree also but here’s how I see the situation. I am not trying to change your POV btw, this is just how I feel about everything.

One thing about Kuhu- from the beginning itself she has always felt second place to Mishti. She has always felt like everyone validates Mishti for her emotions while she is discarded. You can check the episode where Kuhu confronts Mishti after Kuhu is rejected by Meenu. She says it to her face that, ‘every time you’re upset, it’s pain but when it’s me, it’s my tantrum’ meaning she has never felt that her emotions were valued in her own house.

Like when they agreed to get Mishti married to Kunal (I still can’t believe they did that) it was like another punch in the gut for her after the rejection from Meenakshi. The One thing she thought was going to be just hers, was ‘stolen’ from under her feet. See, that’s how she sees it. She sees it as Mishti stealing everything she has. Exactly how Kuhu thought Mishti was stealing her attention and toys when Mishti came into the house.

Mishti wants to ‘help/fix’ others because she takes blame for everything. From childhood, she was blamed for her parents separation. That is a traumatic experience for any kid. So she feels like she has to be in the forefront of helping everyone so that she doesn’t get blamed for any problem. She also feels somewhat debt towards Bade Papa and Badi Ma because they took her in. It comes from her insecurity of being abandoned once. I suspect she has PTSD of being abandoned. Abir just messed up big time btw

She has also been blamed by Kuhu herself as well as jasmeet and Meenu.

Kuhu blames Mishti because her frustration is misplaced. She has seen from the beginning that every time it’s her function- Mishti steals the show. Some examples- during Sangeet when Mishti danced and everyone praises her, and on her Mehandi when Ananya said she wants to give sweets to Mishti first because she has planned the surprise- at that time Kuhu even told Kunal that even my own sister cares more for Mishti than me. (I’ve been rewatching the show 😆)

It is a bruise she has had from childhood. It won’t go away until she/ someone else addresses it.

I’ll give you a real life example. My sister still talks about how when we were kids, someone gave me a toy and didn’t give her one. Along with other experiences, She used to blame me and make me feel horrible because she felt like I stole her ‘spot’. Even though, she should’ve felt distain for the person doing the partiality, she hated me because I was always around her. I was the reason for her feeling less than. That’s how a kid thinks, they are not mature enough to know any better.

That’s exactly what Kuhu is doing.

I’m not justifying everything she did, I’m saying she was a kid and a kid doesn’t know how to process their emotions and don’t know how to express their feelings (especially feelings of neglect and resentment) and where to direct it. Even when she got older, more incidents happened where they were pitted against each other and she just kept blaming her for all her troubles.

About sportscar thing- here’s my outlook on that- she saw a handsome guy in a red shinning car and she immediately felt attraction, he was like the Prince Charming she was waiting for. Yes, it was just infatuation at first.

I agree Kuhu was first physically attracted to him but then she got to know him better and fell in love with the way he was treating her. There’s a dialogue that Kuhu has after both sisters get busted by the parents for going to swetha’s party where Kuhu says, “He wants to meet with me, he wants to be my friend even after Mishti rejected him. He doesn’t care about what’s happening between the families”. She was already smitten with the guy and even after her sister rejected him, he was willing to be around her this was a huge thing for her. She didn’t know he was faking.

Just imagine, shes felt rejected by her family, when a guy comes along and looks into her eyes and says he wants to be with her- she fell for it.
I do agree her ways were a bit extreme and she shouldn’t have went to that level but she was in love with Kunal and he was supporting her and she felt like that’s all she needed.

Kuhu really just wanted a family where she was valued and accepted. She got that with the Rajvansh family, even though she didn’t get the love from Kunal- she got it from his family. This is why she hesitates Mishti coming into that space. It was a home where there was no Mishti to steal her ‘spotlight’ as she calls it.

She really does need to work on it, I don’t disagree. She needs to look inside herself and feel self-worth and accept herself so that she can feel accepted by those around her.
Kuhu feels like Mishti is out to get her. It’s just something she has fixed into her head, she needs to change that. And people like Meenu and Jasmeet who keep repeating it does not help either.

We are human beings and it is a fact that we get influenced by others words and actions. Especially when we have felt like the said person has been a threat. Kuhu has seen Mishti as a threat from the beginning.

I’m not trying to change your point of view, just wanted to put out there how I see the sisters.

It’s a very complicated relationship, both are not saints. There is no right and wrong here, it’s like when two people mess up and you just try to find who is less at fault. Everyone in the whole show has made multiple mistakes and is still making. We are all just in love with certain characters because we see ourselves in them.

I am also not biased towards one or the other. If anything, I relate more to Mishti having been blamed for something I have no control over 🤣but then I tried to look at it from Kuhu’s perspective and that’s what you just read in my essay. I cannot believe I wrote all that

I got a little carried away also as you can see and I write like a preschooler don’t mind 😂

Thanks. Responding to bolded portions below

Her bruise is not given by Mishti - all the so called lack of attention is not instigated by Mishti - some people are charismatic and get all the attention - even without seeking it - Kuhu has to appreciate all the good things she has and not fixate on Mishti. Kuhu herself sacrifices her happiness - because she does not want to be just happy - she wants to be happier than Mishti...and you cannot let your happiness be at the hands of others.


She fell in love with Kunal why? - because even tho her sister rejected him he still condescendingly was willing to be with her? The girl has serious insecurity issues. Where is her sense of self worth? Did she even pause to consider all of Kunal's devious measures to keep Abir and Mishti apart. Seriously you would be in love with a man who is setting up your sister in trouble and with your help to send fake emails behind the back of his own brother who he claims to love. I would have run a mile. Instead she throws Mishti under the bus for someone she knows for a limited period of time. Even when Kunal does all those tantrums before their first marriage (at dress shop etc. ) Kuhu had to realize Kunal was not being fair to Mishti. Still she chooses to take Kunal's side.,,so she can marry him...not the side of the right. She deserves all she is getting.

Like I said in an earlier post - I can understand why Kuhu is messed up - I do - I can see how she views everything - but it does not change the fact that she is wrong and she is hurting her sister's life selfishly. She needs to take stock of her life - realize her mistakes and correct them. I usually don't react much - but the way Kuhu has been treating Mishti - is very vamp like and even though the writers try to redeem her here and there - she's doing a lot of harm that is crossing the line.

Thanks for your thoughts..esp about your sister - it makes me understand Kuhu but not condone her :)

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Posted: 5 years ago
#42

Originally posted by: angelfire78


Richu tell me which preschool you go to. I want to enroll my son so he learns how to write 🤣.


Seriously, stop selling yourself short. And of course you can join us here. It started as something else and now we're full on discussing relationship between the sisters and I absolutely love all the posts I've read so far. Here we are seeing the same people and the same scenes and our minds and the experiences we've had make us see and feel things so differently. All this discussion is helping me crystalize in my mind why I feel a certain way and hopefully I'm able to articulate that. And the last post I made took me longer and made me think deeper because sometimes I couldn't seem to explain why I felt a certain way (thanks priyapak). I identify strongly with Mishti but still can't seem to feel Kuhu is a vamp and can't always understand or articulate why. So all this helps.


I'm only going to address one point you made and see what your reasoning is because it has always bothered me. Why does Kuhu feel that way when Mishti dances at the Sangeet? Everyone was dancing, including her mother and grandmother. So why does she suddenly feel bad when Mishti does?


I wanted to work on my story now and got distracted and came here. I will go through your post in detail and see if I have other questions/comments. In the meantime, tell your preschool teachers they are doing an excellent job 😆.

I think because Kuhu obsesses over Mishti - rather than enjoying her own life and the blessings she has received....she wants to make sure Mishti never over shadows her or gets more than her. As long as everyone is chanting abt her Kuhuness all is well. Extreme example of insecurity well portrayed. That's why even on her wedding day - after all the drama - she gets her man and the mandap and is still upset that Mishti upstaged her...what was she secretly hoping for - that they ran out of time for Mishti's wedding? She resents that she could not take a selfie post her marriage with no thought for Mishti - after her sis gave her the mandap. She foccused more on Mishti than Kunal on her wedding day. If that does not highlight Kuhu's issues - what does?

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Posted: 5 years ago
#43

Originally posted by: NamrataRa

Why there is so much fuss if a girl falls for a boy at first sight.Abir also got attracted to Misti at first meet.It is not that Kuhu is materialistic .Her father is also rich & can afford a sports car. She fell for an handsome boy who was just driving a fancy car.

Regarding Mishku issues to be solved,I think only kunal can help w/o being biased .He should explain her with love.In real life during such situation one brother stays separately.I don't want Abir should go as Meenu will continue to manipulate kuhu / kunal.So it is better or rather high time kunal should stay separately with kuhu & parul.It will be good for Parul also she can live with self respect in her son's house than RV where she will always be reminded as other women by Meenu/Nidhi.

Hi - I've nothing against love at first sight...my issue with Kuku is that their love story has not been justified till it makes sense for me. If Kuhu is not materialistic - why is she treating Parul shabbily and Meenu with sickeningly sweet behavior? Silver jhumka rebuff and eager to get diamonds from Meenu? If not materialistic what is that?

Completely agree with you on bolded. How Kunal can tolerate his mother being treated this way is beyond me. Wait till Kunal does this and see how Kuhu will react to moving away from Rajvansh mansion.

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Posted: 5 years ago
#44

Originally posted by: priyapak

Thanks. Responding to bolded portions below

Her bruise is not given by Mishti - all the so called lack of attention is not instigated by Mishti - some people are charismatic and get all the attention - even without seeking it - Kuhu has to appreciate all the good things she has and not fixate on Mishti. Kuhu herself sacrifices her happiness - because she does not want to be just happy - she wants to be happier than Mishti...and you cannot let your happiness be at the hands of others.


She fell in love with Kunal why? - because even tho her sister rejected him he still condescendingly was willing to be with her? The girl has serious insecurity issues. Where is her sense of self worth? Did she even pause to consider all of Kunal's devious measures to keep Abir and Mishti apart. Seriously you would be in love with a man who is setting up your sister in trouble and with your help to send fake emails behind the back of his own brother who he claims to love. I would have run a mile. Instead she throws Mishti under the bus for someone she knows for a limited period of time. Even when Kunal does all those tantrums before their first marriage (at dress shop etc. ) Kuhu had to realize Kunal was not being fair to Mishti. Still she chooses to take Kunal's side.,,so she can marry him...not the side of the right. She deserves all she is getting.

Like I said in an earlier post - I can understand why Kuhu is messed up - I do - I can see how she views everything - but it does not change the fact that she is wrong and she is hurting her sister's life selfishly. She needs to take stock of her life - realize her mistakes and correct them. I usually don't react much - but the way Kuhu has been treating Mishti - is very vamp like and even though the writers try to redeem her here and there - she's doing a lot of harm that is crossing the line.

Thanks for your thoughts..esp about your sister - it makes me understand Kuhu but not condone her :)

I’m sorry if my post came across as if I was trying to condone her behavior. I was not. I was trying to give you my outlook on it.

It’s a matter of differing opinions. I just choose to see her differently. I see her as a broken girl which is why I sympathize with her. I don’t condone or promote anything she does. But I also can’t seem to see her as a villain because I feel bad for her.

I know you’ll say how can you sympathize with somebody who brought it upon themselves but that’s just how I look at things. I was in a lot of therapy and I learned that one way to forgive someone is to humanize them. You try to understand their feelings and then it becomes easier to process and forgive that person.


Many things Kuhu did were unforgivable, they should’ve addressed many of it from the get-go. But they dragged it to now which made us feel a disconnect with her character and actions.


Everything she did before her wedding to get Kunal was wrong and I realize that. I never defended any of her actions.


About Kunal and Kuhu, that’s not what I meant. I just see their characters differently and I connect to it differently. I see two damaged and vulnerable people who don’t know how to express their feelings and everyone around them just seem to take advantage of their feelings sometimes. And somehow; Kuhu felt like Kunal understood her and loved her for her. The way he was willing to still meet with her made her feel like he only cares about being with her. It made her feel loved and not a second option. Which how she was feeling in her house. (Sorry if I’m repeating myself)



It’s easy to dislike Kuhu, even I disliked her very much. But The fake shaadi, divorce all of that made me look at her in a different light.

I know it doesn’t justify what she did but, she had felt guilty during the whole fake email, going behind Mishti’s back. She even tried to talk Kunal out of it. But Kunal was angry about her rejecting him and fed venom to Kuhu about Mishti.



I don’t want to seem like I’m giving her a pass for everything she did and that’s not my intention.



Uff, I feel like I’m going around in circles, and I’m sorry If I am. Like Daya said, I don’t really know how to explain why I feel a certain way. It’s just a feeling. Even when I was watching the show, I would feel bad for Kuhu.

I actually felt bad for both Mishti and Kuhu. At first it was just Mishti who I connected with then slowly I understood Kuhu’s perspective but that’s not excusing her behavior. Even Kunal’s behavior. Both were wrong.

She definitely needs counseling because your happiness shouldn’t be based on if someone else is happier. And she’s always competing with Mishti in that sense.

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Posted: 5 years ago
#45

Originally posted by: priyapak


Thanks for responding. So to address the bolded portions. While the Kunal Mishti relationship was on - Kuhu had given her consent for the relationship - but was still enamoured of Kunal. For example she accepted the bracelet from him and was loathe to mention it to Mishti - she went to work for Red Pear knowing she was rejected and that Mishti also had applied for the job. There is s line in one of the later episodes where Mishti questions Kuhu on this - on how she was justified in pursuing Kunal when he was was spoken for Mishti. I'm watching the show again and will remember to point out the specifics for you. I cannot completely remember each incident as well.

Some questions for you :)

1. So what did Mishti do to Kuhu? ...that was of Mishti's own doing .... not the rest of the family. How the family reacted to Mishti's adoption is not something to blame Mishti for? It's probably a lifetime of sulking over such imagined slights that cause the Maheshwari's to regard Kuhu's reactions as immature, akin to tantrums - example her bday being forgotten, the doll given to Mishti, teacher writing Mishti's name on Kuhu's notebook. I do understand how an immature insecure child can develop such dislike for Mishti - absolutely. Kuhu having a reason for how she is does not absolve her - it does make me understand why she is that way and it is nothing related to Mishti - maybe rather the family - over whom Mishti has no intentional sway. A smarter person would probably get it - but Kuhu who touts herself on how great she is - is actually quite insecure and unsure of herself and has thus become perfect ammunition for Meenakshi.

2. So why is she trying so hard to impress Meenakshi? She is not her MIL and has rubbed it in on more than one occasion, Kuhu flatters her, tells her she considers her true main saas, wows on her wedding day to ensure Mishti Meenu's relationship stays bad, badmouths Mishti. It's not like she actually likes Meenakshi. In the latest episodes she shows zero regard for Meenakshi - in terms of going home from their honeymoon - so its then all an act - no? Let me ask a diff way. If Meenakshi was not powerful - do you think Kuhu would care so much for her?

3. not a question. I cannot even buy into the Kuku romance - i just don't feel it - maybe because I can't see the love or the relationship is so eclipsed by the stronger love story or maybe there is no chemistry between these 2. Even Kunal and Mishti have better chemistry. You know when i started watching the series - I thought Mishti was miscast and almost girl like. I did not expect Misbir chemistry to develop the way it has...so much for my first instincts - I really enjoy their scenes now. (Tho - I still squirm when I watch Mishti's crying scenes - she does not cry well - Kuhu does a better job of it)

4. Mishti intentionally kept Abir at a distance for a while - so as to not jeopardize Kuhu's relationship. She knew accepting Abir would jeopardise Kuku relationship - so she kept dodging Abir's advances. That is sacrificial. She also did not willingly share with Abir what Meenakshi made her do (reveal Kuhu's parenatge) and was quite prepared to leave to Mumbai and risk her own relationship.

5. Abir chose Kunal over Mishti when he broke up with her. This is after Bade papa asked him - what he would do if he had to choose - when Abir came to ask for Mishti's hand. Again during the last few episodes - Abir chose to go home with Kunal than stay back with Mishti. Post marriage I cannot relate much to Abir. He compared Mishti to Meenakshi twice - that she always wants to fight, how he can think that is beyond me...how much more Mishti has to do to get his trust? Disappointing - I guess the storyline has to progress.

Regarding Kuhu - I realize she is not a bad person - but how can someone be so blind and stupid? She must know that Mishti is not a bad person. Like I said earlier - I understand why she is this way - but that does not absolve her. She needs a big jhatka - Kunal finding out about all her misdeeds to date, something for her to wake up and see the world as it truly is - not what she imagines it to be. And yes...she needs to get Jasmeet out of her life.

thanks for the chance to discuss my observations. it is a pleasure debating with someone who can respond rationally. I usually shy away from sharing my views for fear of offending fans and invoking their wrath!


Yeah, let me know. I remember she accepted the bracelet but I thought it was more of an apology bracelet on his behalf. She definitely liked that he gave her that and found him attractive but hadn't really fallen in love or anything, but it was during the courtship phase when things could have gone either way and she threw the bracelet away Mishku goddhana day. So for me personally it was not a big deal. Their relationship afterwards was aided and abetted by MishBir and Kunal's lies. The italicized part, please tell me when you find it. Would love to watch and see when and why that was said. And finally, if I have to fault Kuhu for falling for Kunal, I would have to do the same with Abir falling for Mishti, and I choose not to blame either 😊. You can't control how you feel, but you can control how you behave with respect to those feelings, and I found both Kuhu and Abir behaved appropriately at that time.


OK, I have to say before I begin answering that I absolutely love this exchange, and hope you do too 😃.


1. All the things you mentioned that happened when they were children Mishti didn't do, but the dislike it created in Kuhu for Mishti just made her reaction to the general disagreements and fights between sisters worse. As children, my cousin and I were both asked to sing when we visited people, and she would sing right away. I was more shy and self-conscious and would not. Most people would say "look at her, she is singing, why can't you?" Obviously my cousin had no control over what they said, but I would fight with her later asking "why do you have to sing as soon as people ask?" 😆 We had (still have) a great relationship otherwise, and we can still laugh about that now, but I can imagine sisters who don't have the same relationship and this kind of thing would be blown out of proportion. That's why Kuhu believes Mishti is out to steal her limelight. Meenu is cleverly using her insecurity in this regard and exacerbating it. Of course Kuhu is responsible for what she does. The reason I started this thread was to figure out who could help put out the fire (of jealousy and insecurity) burning inside Kuhu rather than stoke it up further the way Meenu is doing, because it can go either way.


I also have a not-so-great but not-so-bad relationship with a cousin I grew up with (joint family). Her dad was my favorite person and I was his. She grew up knowing I was closer to her dad than she was. As an adult, I feel terrible for her, but I also know I was not to blame. I understand her behavior towards me better too. That's why I think Mishti is willing to let a lot of the bitterness Kuhu shows towards her go. But finally, yes, for Kuhu to be happy she should stop being affected by anything that happens to Mishti. We can definitely agree on that.


2. Meenu was the one who told her to fight for her marriage when she was ready to give up. I agree she should also remember all that Meenu had done before (manipulating Kunal to lie to her and all that), but after that happened she's been living in that house with no direct issues for 3 months. She knows she is more mother to Kunal than Parul (he says that to her himself) and she can sympathize because her mother is not the one who gave birth to her either. She is startled and shocked when Meenu says Parul is her saas. She tries to calm Meenu down after she had to withstand the shock of having Kunal announce suddenly that Parul was his mother - I see that as empathizing with Meenu rather than trying to flatter her. Actually, Kuhu was quite nice towards Parul as well all this time, even before she knew she was Kunal's mom so I don't think she was thinking about power and wealth. She's only thinking about it now in comparison to Mishti and that comes from the lifelong race competition she has going on in her mind with Mishti.


I thought Jasmeet was the one who said it was in her favor to keep relations between Meenu and Mishti bad and she agreed? In any case, she has already spoken to Meenu about her dislike for Mishti. She is the only one Kuhu directly talked to and said she is not sure about staying married to Kunal if she has to put up with Mishti in the house (or words to that effect), and Meenu encouraged her not to give up her rights. Badmouthing Mishti: I assume you're talking about what she said mahashivratri time? I'm willing to make some allowances for a terrified person. Actually, I found everything she did at the time in character for a person terrified about the consequences of what they had done - thinking about putting the sleeping pills in, deciding not to do it, dithering about saying anything, then worrying about what happened, in jitters about who might have been affected, glad no one was seemingly affected, terrified that Abir was, trying to blame Mishti. I had hoped though that she would speak to Varsha, but then Jasmeet got to her and once again filled her ears with wrong advice. I absolutely hated that she let Parul be blamed.


3. I guess that just depends on what you like. I know some people find more chemistry between kuku than mishbir. I find some vms and posts in the kuku AT that help me connect with them more. I feel for both of them when they cry, but in general I'm a person who laughs, cries, feels embarrassed, amused and everything when I'm watching a show/movie/book that I can connect with 😆 so I don't know if I'm that discerning.


4. I don't remember it this way. I thought initially she was still trying to be sure of what she was feeling. Are you talking about after Meenu threatened her when she was ready to propose to Abir? If yes, she was thinking more about the whole family, I think not just Kuhu. She didn't really have a relationship with Abir she was risking. At that point she was only giving up a possibility, so it doesn't have the feel of a self-sacrifice to me, especially after the haldi incident where she hurt her whole family. She could have told Abir but again I'll give the benefit of the doubt to a person who was in stress and confused.


5. He did choose Kunal over Mishti during breakup, but yaar he hadn't had any time to deal with the fact that someone who he's been idolizing all his life had feet of clay. Then he learnt Kunal was Parul maasi's son and then had his mother threaten to throw Parul and Kunal out if he married Mishti. He had so little time to decide what to do. He made the wrong decision, obviously, but how could he not prioritize his brother at that time? He was not married to Mishti. And after he makes a decision, it is difficult to get him to change it (he is very like his mom that way).


After marriage, yeah I have no idea what to make of the dialogue where he says "toh kya main apne bhai ko akela jane doon?" Don't think there are any children here that can't handle being alone - whether Mishti or Kunal. The only reasoning I can think of is that he was thinking about what Meenu might do but that still doesn't explain that line 😆.


OK, fights immediately post-marriage can happen for a variety of very silly reasons. All I can think of is that it is part and parcel of two people adjusting in a new relationship. I don't think at all that he doesn't trust her. Each is just trying to get the other person to follow their method of doing things 😊 and Abir is very stubborn. His stubbornness exceeds Mishti's I feel. They're going to have some nice takkars 😆.


Which brings me to his comparing her to Meenu (did he do it twice? I thought only once at the resort). He says Mishti is like his mom in a specific way "sab ko galat aur khud ko sahi prove karna chahti ho". He is not saying she is wrong, just pointing out his frustration with what he thinks she is trying to do. I don't agree with him that that is what she is doing, and after hearing what Kuhu said about her I don't understand why he's thinking this way. But it's his biggest issue with his mom and if he thinks his wife is doing the same, he will point it out. Regarding her always wanting to fight (this was holi time right?), I think it was more about her way of dealing with situations. Mishti is confrontational when she doesn't think something is right.


About Kuhu - I'm not sure a jhatka is the right way for her to change her behavior. It seems more likely to me to permanently reinforce her feeling of being a victim. Self-realization and somehow understanding that Mishti has only as much importance in her life as she gives her is likely to have a more positive impact. And yes, she should definitely stop letting Jasmeet and Meenu influence her thinking.


This took me a while to think about, and I found myself going back and forth on some things, but I hope I made sense 😊. Likewise about debating!

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Posted: 5 years ago
#46

Originally posted by: priyapak

I think because Kuhu obsesses over Mishti - rather than enjoying her own life and the blessings she has received....she wants to make sure Mishti never over shadows her or gets more than her. As long as everyone is chanting abt her Kuhuness all is well. Extreme example of insecurity well portrayed. That's why even on her wedding day - after all the drama - she gets her man and the mandap and is still upset that Mishti upstaged her...what was she secretly hoping for - that they ran out of time for Mishti's wedding? She resents that she could not take a selfie post her marriage with no thought for Mishti - after her sis gave her the mandap. She foccused more on Mishti than Kunal on her wedding day. If that does not highlight Kuhu's issues - what does?


Yes Kuhu's insecurities are very well portrayed. I also feel she could have waited on the wedding, and she seemed to be doing it to get back at Mishti for imagined wrongs. But her wedding itself went off ok, it was only spoiled for her afterwards when she saw everyone run off to see Mishti's, and it definitely highlights how you can't be happy until you're no longer comparing yourself to someone else.


Based on everything we've said so far, we are agreed on Kuhu's issues but putting a bad spin on all her actions and viewing her actions with everyone else with the same lens as how she treats Mishti seems to me to be a stretch, and similar to what I feel Kuhu does with Mishti. Also, in general, I prefer Mishti's method of ignoring unless it directly harms and addressing it when it does.

Edited by angelfire78 - 5 years ago
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Posted: 5 years ago
#47

Originally posted by: priyapak

Hi - I've nothing against love at first sight...my issue with Kuku is that their love story has not been justified till it makes sense for me. If Kuhu is not materialistic - why is she treating Parul shabbily and Meenu with sickeningly sweet behavior? Silver jhumka rebuff and eager to get diamonds from Meenu? If not materialistic what is that?

Completely agree with you on bolded. How Kunal can tolerate his mother being treated this way is beyond me. Wait till Kunal does this and see how Kuhu will react to moving away from Rajvansh mansion.

Kuhu has always been no filter girl if it is related to fashion.At resort also she openly gave criticism to a stranger. If she doesn't like silver earrings that means she doesn't.She was always good to Meenu.Once she said sorry 5 times to her for accidental bump when she was not even knowing the birth truth . She feels her relation with kunal is secure if she is good to her as kunal worships Meenu.

I don't know why writers are showing now that she is not liking parul bec she was the first person to tell kunal to accept her gradually.She touched her feet when she was going for padphera(no one told her to do) in her 1st marriage. Also she was ready to take her suggestions for Neha's wedding event.

If KuKu moves out from RV it will be testing time for both.We will know whether Kuhu's love for him is superficial or true . Writers can explore it.They have trust issues & Kunal is also obsessed with RV status.Misti will also stop interfering in Kuhu's life.

Edited by NamrataRa - 5 years ago
ruhi19 thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#48

Originally posted by: tumhiho

Hahha!!! Thank you Daya, I swear I was so nervous about posting it. My heart started pounding 😂😂 And also a convent school in Kerala, I guess the nuns did a good job 😂😂😂

Coming to why Kuhu felt uneasy about Mishti dancing at her Sangeet. She has had the same experience over and over again, her sitting and watching while Mishti performs and steals the show- example: the night at the nigh club, the pilot episode etc. Maybe she was also upset because she was not called to dance along? If it was a girls group dance then why wasn’t she involved, she’s the bride after all . Mishti wasn’t thinking like that, she just wanted to do something special. But since Kuhu already has inferiority complex when it comes to Mishti, it bothers her further.

There’s a scene afterwards where Kuhu seems to be mad at Mishti. Abir comes there and asks what they are whispering about. Kuhu says “Mishti’s ghoomar took all the attention”. Like it’s my Sangeet, and she’s here dancing and being the center of attention. That’s how a person with insecurity thinks.

I’ve had many personal experiences when I would win competitions and my sister looked like she wanted to rip my head off. I know it’s not possible to live our life according to what another person wants, but if we know they have a problem we should be considerate towards that right? That’s how I see Kuhu’s character. She needs some help realizing she doesn’t have to see everything as a competition between her and Mishti.

Can’t wait to read your story!!! I love both of them :)

B: as far as i remember, mishti msgs kuhu to meet her and kuhu comes and taunts mishti as stole her lime light on her sangeet, but mishti says to listen to jas, as jas complaining no one did punjabi dance on sangeet and no one cares about her, so kuhu says till now she didnt perform and i will perform on punjabi song, then abir over hears their convo and asks them issue but mishti or kuhu(i dont remember exactly) says its MAH family family matter but abir says now its his family too as kuhu is being married to kunal and he dont want to any memeber to unhappy...
ruhi19 thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#49

read discussions in this thread and i just want to say one thing...


kuhu is thinking she can be happy if she hurts mishti but she can never be happy if she hurts or do anything to demean mishti... kuhu's happiness lies in her growth and her self acceptance of things...


mishti consider kuhu as family and thats the reason she involves in everything related to kuhu, more over kuhu and jas rant on ehsaan they did to her, so she want to take off that tag, so she goes extreme and when she cant take it, she will find a way or say NO or express her feelings.


mishti character is not the one who want to do everything for browniee points but kuhu does everything for brwoniee points(there are many less incidents where kuhu didnt do anything for browniee points)


mishti dont take credit which she really should take (esply in abir's father case where she did everything to get abir free from his baba's intentions, she bought his father with out knowing because she just want abir's happiness and then when she doubted him she did what ever she can do), mishti believes in building person to person relations than being favourite to them(abir-meenu relation, she can make abir to dance on her tunes but she distanced herself so that abir and meenu can come close, as mishti knows how they both love each other but they just issues due to their father)


kuhu takes the credit what ever she does even if it is a small thing and keeps everyone in her favour ,she just does everything for her personal rappo with person but never thought of building person relationship with other person...

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Posted: 5 years ago
#50

Originally posted by: angelfire78


I agree that in general Mishti is mature, caring and wants to keep peace (only to an extent though) and Kuhu is insecure and rude (to Mishti specifically), but Kuhu has also been shown to be mature.


There have been instances where it struck me that when Mishti really gets involved in something, she doesn't consider Kuhu either - I vividly remember Kuhu's face in the episode where Mishti sings jeete hain chal and saathiya mere. It's true for the first one Mishti was really hurt and second she was lost in Abir (and believe me, I enjoyed it 😊) but they had come to sing/dance together and she simply forgot? To change something like that last minute is just not done. So it's not just Kuhu who is thoughtless. The other instance that strikes me more recently is when Kuhu calls her to ask where she is on her birthday, Mishti is quite rude to her. Again, this is not meant to excuse Kuhu's behavior towards Mishti but just to make the point that it goes both ways. I know there are many more instances when Kuhu is rude and thoughtless also, and the list may be longer. I just wanted to say it is not entirely one-sided.


True, Mishti should stop interfering in Kuhu's life and Kuhu should stop blaming Mishti for all her problems, but I don't see either happening anytime soon unless they totally decide to change what they show us after the break 😆.



I know a lot of discussion has already been done after this, but couldn't resist putting my 2 cents on the subject...


Agreed, Mishti didn't consider Kuhu in these instances, but then again, like you mentioned she was preoccupied with her own pain and worries. Even in real life, when we have something on mind, we are not always on our best behavior and often disregard others feelings. Now I am not trying to deny what Mishti did on these occasions was not rude or inconsiderate, but given the circumstances, is it not okay to give her that leeway?

And even if we don't and hold Mishti accountable for her occasional circumstantial rudeness, it in no way comes even close to Kuhu's everyday normal (read rude) behavior with Mishti.


From day 1 of the show, Kuhu has been rude, mean and downright abusive to Mishti almost on a constant basis.

She eased up a bit after the Janamashtami incident due to her own guilt and was also sympathetic towards Mishti for a while when Abir broke up with her and she was away - but that was the extent of it.

Otherwise, she berates Mishti for one thing or another, leaves no opportunity to remind her about how she doesn't belong to the family and that too in the most hurtful inconsiderate manner, equating her with a stray dog or a charity case, lest Mishti forgets! Constant jabs on her looks, calling her behenji, boring and even ugly duckling! Her rude tone and dismissal of Mishti, asking her to hashtag disappear - the list goes on and on...


Kuhu's rudeness to Mishti is so ingrained in the show that barring few who consciously choose to tune it out for the sake of enjoying the show, most others (including Mishti herself and now Abir too!) have been conditioned to think it's just a normal Kuhu-Mishti thing - which is so so unfortunate because it is not okay for anyone to be treated like this!

Mental abuse is a real thing and we have come to take it so lightly in the show

Mishti is strong minded here and takes things in her stride for the most part, otherwise anyone in her place would start to feel inferior, lose confidence and develop sense of worthlessness if they were subjected to such daily taunts and bullying.


Harboring feelings of resentment towards someone and being a bully to them are two different things - and Kuhu definitely forgets that more often than not.

And what Mishti arguably does pales in comparison for me to ever be convinced that it goes both ways...


@Bold

True. Mishti needs to just stop caring and stay out of Kuhu's business. If I was Mishti, I wouldn't waste an ounce of my energy on Kuhu unless she specifically asks for my help. But I guess Mishti will do that on the last day of the show...

Edited by SheThought - 5 years ago

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