Who can best help resolve the issues between the sisters? - Page 2

hey daya such an interesting topic i hope you know me,.... little inactive now but thought of giving my thoughts in this interesting topic,,.,,,

actually my opinion is different but not possible too... bcoz meenu is my choice... 😆 it might seem weird but she has that capacity in her and most importantly the girls open upto her and listen to her too.... i dont know this weird thought came to me after reading your question... 😆 they both have this respect and also this comfort to talk with meenu,... maybe i know its like being greedy or over expectation but she can help them indirectly by doing something which she thinks is gonna create problem...

Hi Daya ,

Interesting take and much needed solution right now as I perceive this equation of girls as the biggest threat for their relationships at this point .

Perhaps , My view can come across as inclined to a particular character but I wanted to highlight few instances here where we were shown about the genuine efforts mishti taken from her side keeping aside the differences both had .

1. During Kuhu and kunal's marriage , she was forced to undergo unwanted trauma , insults at the cost of her own self respect . Her feelings were brutally killed in the process of keeping her away from abir . But if you recall , she had an easy choice to share it with Abir and get it done but what made her take that pain is " She cared for Kuhu and her happiness , She kept her life at stake to get kuhu her love of life keeping her own emotions at bay . For me , its utmost care and love once could've shown to anyone , let alone the one with whom we share a strained & complicated relationship . That too by getting ready to sacrifice someone like Abir who was more than an angel to her .

2. She even requested kuhu in a scene to start their relationship afresh - That definitely serves as an step from her side to balance her relationship with kuhu .

Also , we have seen her sacrificing small small things to make kuhu happy and feel special - Her concern and care for kuhu came out as her over indulgence at sometimes but for me its an way of showing our love towards a person - To show them that they matters to us .

So according to me , if keeping their current differences aside , if at all kuhu makes an advance from her side too considering the fact that they both are stuck together for life and they have no other way to have a happily ever after life with their respective spouses unless they clear their differences and maintain a bond without hatred , jealousy etc

Hope we get to see at least the kind of bond kuhu and mishti shared during breakup - divorce drama . 👍🏼

No one can resolve their issues, they themselves are not capable of doing it(ek baar Jo man me aa gaya so aa gaya), and trust me when I am saying this, what kuhu and mishti can actually do is keep quiet, have patience, and never ever point out each other's mistakes. Avoid should be their mantra, a third person can just raise the level of jealousy, insecurity, hatred, etc, they have for each other (of course unintentionally). Because chahe ya na chahe koi teesra kisi ek ke taraf partial zarur hoga.

Originally posted by: LetThereBeLight

hey daya such an interesting topic i hope you know me,.... little inactive now but thought of giving my thoughts in this interesting topic,,.,,,

actually my opinion is different but not possible too... bcoz meenu is my choice... 😆 it might seem weird but she has that capacity in her and most importantly the girls open upto her and listen to her too.... i dont know this weird thought came to me after reading your question... 😆 they both have this respect and also this comfort to talk with meenu,... maybe i know its like being greedy or over expectation but she can help them indirectly by doing something which she thinks is gonna create problem...

Of course Diya! Your updates and the whole thread kept me going through the break-up 😆.

This is a great idea and would definitely work. If she knows what would push Kuhu over the edge, then she would definitely know how to pull her back. It's unfortunate that's not her goal.

Indirectly might still happen, the way her plans pushed the couples together, it could push these two together as well.

Originally posted by: Shaju1717

Hi Daya ,

Interesting take and much needed solution right now as I perceive this equation of girls as the biggest threat for their relationships at this point .

Perhaps , My view can come across as inclined to a particular character but I wanted to highlight few instances here where we were shown about the genuine efforts mishti taken from her side keeping aside the differences both had .

1. During Kuhu and kunal's marriage , she was forced to undergo unwanted trauma , insults at the cost of her own self respect . Her feelings were brutally killed in the process of keeping her away from abir . But if you recall , she had an easy choice to share it with Abir and get it done but what made her take that pain is " She cared for Kuhu and her happiness , She kept her life at stake to get kuhu her love of life keeping her own emotions at bay . For me , its utmost care and love once could've shown to anyone , let alone the one with whom we share a strained & complicated relationship . That too by getting ready to sacrifice someone like Abir who was more than an angel to her .

2. She even requested kuhu in a scene to start their relationship afresh - That definitely serves as an step from her side to balance her relationship with kuhu .

Also , we have seen her sacrificing small small things to make kuhu happy and feel special - Her concern and care for kuhu came out as her over indulgence at sometimes but for me its an way of showing our love towards a person - To show them that they matters to us .

So according to me , if keeping their current differences aside , if at all kuhu makes an advance from her side too considering the fact that they both are stuck together for life and they have no other way to have a happily ever after life with their respective spouses unless they clear their differences and maintain a bond without hatred , jealousy etc

Hope we get to see at least the kind of bond kuhu and mishti shared during breakup - divorce drama . 👍🏼

It is in Mishti's nature to keep trying. Abir also said the same when he told Meenu to stay away from the wedding. As you pointed out, there are so many instances. I am reminded of the saying "If you don't like someone, the way he holds his spoon will make you furious; if you do like him, he can turn his plate over in your lap and you won't mind." That's what it is for Kuhu - she's ready to forgive Meenu and Kunal so much, and so readily, but not ready to forgive Mishti even for things she is not responsible for.

Anything Mishti does (including standing up for her in front of Kunal when he handed her the divorce papers?!) is not acceptable, even if it is for her benefit. If she couldn't accept that, then how will she accept whatever Mishti said on her haldi was not on purpose (did they ever discuss this?). If I get started listing, then my premise (that they should try to get along), will be shattered and I'll find myself telling Mishti to please walk away for her good health .

Mishti doesn't take everything lying down though, I like that she can still try to give Kuhu what she says she wants and also do what she wants, so much better than if they showed her as always sacrificing.

Mishti took the first step after marriage, yes. I think though that Kuhu was also ready to try. Unfortunately, the trigger for both of them is very short, probably because of their history and Meenu, Jasmeet, and the current situation with Parul and Kunal worsening Kuhu's insecurities. Mishti is also concerned about Meenu and trying to prove to her she is the right bahu (why Mishti why ). That's why it didn't last even for a day.

Kuhu needs to talk to someone who would listen without dismissing her (regardless of how her complaints sound - some are valid and some are just ) and then maybe she would be in a position to listen to what they have to say and think rationally. Sometimes you just want someone to listen without judging.

I agree that Kuhu should be the one to take the next step forward, but I hope at that time Mishti is ready to reciprocate because things can get worse otherwise. If she wasn't so keen on staying together and not getting called home-breaker, the best solution would be for them to just stay apart but we know that's not going to happen!

Sorry, I do write a lot. I had more, but I'll save it for now 😆.

Originally posted by: ViSions

No one can resolve their issues, they themselves are not capable of doing it(ek baar Jo man me aa gaya so aa gaya), and trust me when I am saying this, what kuhu and mishti can actually do is keep quiet, have patience, and never ever point out each other's mistakes. Avoid should be their mantra, a third person can just raise the level of jealousy, insecurity, hatred, etc, they have for each other (of course unintentionally). Because chahe ya na chahe koi teesra kisi ek ke taraf partial zarur hoga.

It's true, it's difficult to get over some things.

@italics - I'm not sure this will work with Meenu around. How she kept trying to have Mishti bring out that Kuhu spiked the drink! If they both avoid pointing out the other's mistakes, I'm sure that could also be used.

Also, avoiding pointing out mistakes will work for the small stuff and it can be ignored but if they don't deal with it at least between themselves, the possibilities of a huge blow-up are huge. Resentment builds.

Originally posted by: tumhiho

Both because there was so much Abir and Mishti should’ve talked about before their wedding. I may be alone in this and that’s okay too but I felt like everything was so fast. None of their issues were resolved, they never had a proper conversation about their breakup. Mishti and Abir hiding things from each other is a big problem in their relationship even though I know they say it’s to protect each other. It doesn’t do anything but damage their relationship when truth comes out. And they keep doing exactly that even after marriage😂

Kunal and Kuhu because Kunal was forgiven way too easily and I just didn’t get it. They should’ve at least just dated or stayed friends for a while before remarrying like that. I know divorce was on the cards but they could’ve done a #timeout and just gave some time to figure things out. They both agreed the first marriage was not a real one. Again with my wishful thinking.

Lol you may be right I’m on a mission to end this show by getting rid of all the problems.

Well her main goal seems to be to show that Mishti is not able to keep her family together. The one thing that Mishti fears also is that she will break the family apart, so I guess they are aiming for something like that.

Exactly 😹 I don’t get why would Meenu even think for a second that Abir will divorce Mishti? She knows Abir pretty well, she knows he will only do what he thinks is right. He will move out if things get bad in the house.

From the pills dream sequence she had, she was trying to prove that both the girls are not fit to be bahus of her house. But since they are already bahus why is she still adamant? Yeah I don’t get it either, the more I think about it the more empty my brain gets. She’s too smart for the likes of me it seems😂

P.S: It’s very late here and these are my late night ramblings, please excuse the nonsense

Oh yeah, there's so much to talk about and any secrets between them is only likely to make things worse.

Definitely with you about Kunal and Kuhu.

@italics - me too 😆

Originally posted by: angelfire78

❤️

It's true, it's difficult to get over some things.

@italics - I'm not sure this will work with Meenu around. How she kept trying to have Mishti bring out that Kuhu spiked the drink! If they both avoid pointing out the other's mistakes, I'm sure that could also be used.

Also, avoiding pointing out mistakes will work for the small stuff and it can be ignored but if they don't deal with it at least between themselves, the possibilities of a huge blow-up are huge. Resentment builds.

This is the reason I am saying that the disease killing their relationship is incurable and needs prevention, which in their case is avoidance.

Even if someone from the family takes charge of resolving issues between them, both the sisters will continue to believe what they already have in their minds for each other. Some counselling from the most neutral person around may help for some days but soon the unbreakable mountain of opinions will take control of their minds and actions.

@bold - Family can always help in damage control. 😉

p.s. I know my opinions are a little weird, lekin ab jo hai yhi hai..😊😊❤️

Originally posted by: ViSions

Our mind tends to give less value to those things which disapprove our belief and gives more value to things that strengthen our belief and this is how our opinion about someone gets rigid. Just to give you an example, In the case of kuhu and mishti, kuhu overvalues words of Jasmeet, which we know are always against Mishti. This overvaluing thing confirms kuhu's opinions for Mishti.

This is the reason I am saying that the disease killing their relationship is incurable and needs prevention, which in their case is avoidance.

Even if someone from the family takes charge of resolving issues between them, both the sisters will continue to believe what they already have in their minds for each other. Some counselling from the most neutral person around may help for some days but soon the unbreakable mountain of opinions will take control of their minds and actions.

@bold - Family can always help in damage control. 😉

p.s. I know my opinions are a little weird, lekin ab jo hai yhi hai..😊😊❤️

What you say is so true. We also only tend to gravitate towards to people and opinions that mirror ours -it's the very basis for all the advertising on facebook and the like 😆.

I'm just not sure their issues are incurable though. Maybe a breakthrough is hard, but I keep hoping it is possible (maybe unrealistically). I just wish counselling by a third person will help them talk to each other and try to understand where the other person is coming from.

I started writing that they should just try not to interfere in each other's lives, but realize that is impossible in their current situation. Their lives are completely intertwined again.

@italics - true 😊

@bold - I find all opinions in the forum very interesting, so thank you for sharing 😊 I have my own opinions and reasons for them, but love to see why other people think the way they do.

Daya, your topic reminds me of the movie Pataakha!

Spoiler Alert: Not sure if you have seen it, but the movie is about two sisters who could not see eye to eye and fought about almost every single thing. They elope with two seemingly very different guys only to end up in the same house as they turn out to be brothers and then when they decide to live separately to maintain peace, the sisters go through life altering changes because they could no longer fight with each other😆

The sisters there were generally similar and they had the same kind of issues with each other, so there was still a possibility of a middle ground. Someone could show them a mirror and there was a chance they would understand...

In our show however, the sisters are generally good people, love their families and want to keep them happy, but that's about as much similarity as you can find between them. Otherwise they are fundamentally just very different in their style, thinking, nature, approach to each other (let me help you even when you don't ask me v/s all my problems exist because of you), problem handling (this is wrong, let me tackle it head-on v/s it doesn't matter since family is happy unless the problem is you), their acceptance of each other (can I be accepted as family v/s wish you were/are not part of my life/family), extent of issue with the other (I will leave you alone if you leave me alone v/s I can't leave you alone as long as you are in my life), their basic idea of little joys in life...

I feel that they are just too different, especially when it comes to each other, to come to any middle ground at present. Distance would surely help, but won't completely eliminate the bitterness.

Abir might be able to help, but he will be torn between the sisters and is likely to lose his objectivity at some point or may stop if it ends up hurting Mishti and damaging his marriage in the process.

Parul is at the best vantage point to understand the issues between the sisters. She has kind of faced and been through somewhat similar issues with Benba as her pseudo-sister and learnt to make it work. And she also posses the wisdom that is required to convey her ideas without hurting the other person.

But overall, I feel it might take a life altering event for one, for the other to realize and change her viewpoint... till then, family can try to mend the relationship but it won't go far!