Who can best help resolve the issues between the sisters? - Page 6

Originally posted by: SheThought

I know a lot of discussion has already been done after this, but couldn't resist putting my 2 cents on the subject...

Agreed, Mishti didn't consider Kuhu in these instances, but then again, like you mentioned she was preoccupied with her own pain and worries. Even in real life, when we have something on mind, we are not always on our best behavior and often disregard others feelings. Now I am not trying to deny what Mishti did on these occasions was not rude or inconsiderate, but given the circumstances, is it not okay to give her that leeway?

And even if we don't and hold Mishti accountable for her occasional circumstantial rudeness, it in no way comes even close to Kuhu's everyday normal (read rude) behavior with Mishti.

From day 1 of the show, Kuhu has been rude, mean and downright abusive to Mishti almost on a constant basis.

She eased up a bit after the Janamashtami incident due to her own guilt and was also sympathetic towards Mishti for a while when Abir broke up with her and she was away - but that was the extent of it.

Otherwise, she berates Mishti for one thing or another, leaves no opportunity to remind her about how she doesn't belong to the family and that too in the most hurtful inconsiderate manner, equating her with a stray dog or a charity case, lest Mishti forgets! Constant jabs on her looks, calling her behenji, boring and even ugly duckling! Her rude tone and dismissal of Mishti, asking her to hashtag disappear - the list goes on and on...

Kuhu's rudeness to Mishti is so ingrained in the show that barring few who consciously choose to tune it out for the sake of enjoying the show, most others (including Mishti herself and now Abir too!) have been conditioned to think it's just a normal Kuhu-Mishti thing - which is so so unfortunate because it is not okay for anyone to be treated like this!

Mental abuse is a real thing and we have come to take it so lightly in the show

Mishti is strong minded here and takes things in her stride for the most part, otherwise anyone in her place would start to feel inferior, lose confidence and develop sense of worthlessness if they were subjected to such daily taunts and bullying.

Harboring feelings of resentment towards someone and being a bully to them are two different things - and Kuhu definitely forgets that more often than not.

And what Mishti arguably does pales in comparison for me to ever be convinced that it goes both ways...

@Bold

True. Mishti needs to just stop caring and stay out of Kuhu's business. If I was Mishti, I wouldn't waste an ounce of my energy on Kuhu unless she specifically asks for my help. But I guess Mishti will do that on the last day of the show...

@italics - Absolutely. I mentioned it more to say there were instances where Mishti was thoughtless too. I did acknowledge the instances of Kuhu's rudeness would be a much longer list 😊.

@bold - It happens that you tune out people whose opinion doesn't matter to you at all. But Mishti does retaliate sometimes and she also mentions that the way she behaves towards Kuhu is the direct result of how she behaves towards her. Nishant mentions it once. And Abir mentioned it too (I know it was also only once and he apologized almost right away).

What I'm trying to say really is that what someone else does or behaves is not in our control, only how we react to it. That's why I think how Mishti's been dealing with it so far is best. She didn't let it affect her much and managed to do what she wanted.

There may be some measure of comfort for us in knowing everyone knows about her behavior towards Mishti, but don't people already know? They know the two of them never got along. They know Kuhu was immature enough to ask to be married the same time as Mishti and still allowed it. Why give in at that time and allow the question to be put to Mishti? They could have stopped it right there if they had said you want to get married again, then we'll have a separate ceremony. Everyone saw her outburst on holika dahan and tried chastising her holi day for not coming down. None of the comments made ever got through to Kuhu or made her realize she may be wrong and I don't see any concrete action being taken (and don't really know what action can be). If it does come out and Kunal is mad at her, that's one more reason for her to blame Mishti and BB will also turn it around to it being Mishti's fault. That's why I was trying to figure out who might be best to show Kuhu that unless she can stop competing with Mishti and blaming her for her own problems, she won't be able to move on. Having her realize this herself would be least damaging to Mishti as well. And finally, while it's true that she behaves terribly towards Mishti (and now indirectly Abir), Kunal and BB have treated her terribly. I don't think they are in a very strong position to make any comments to her about her bad behavior.

Mishti is very strong, and I think she has had to be, growing up with Kuhu and Jasmeet. It seems to me that very few people's opinions matter to her. Kuhu's is definitely not one of them.

@bold italics - A lot of things are taken lightly in the show - mental abuse, slapping, shoving, spiking drinks, kidnapping...

Absolutely with you on that. She should stay far far away from Kuhu and her affairs, but then show will be over as you say 😆.

Originally posted by: angelfire78

@italics - Absolutely. I mentioned it more to say there were instances where Mishti was thoughtless too. I did acknowledge the instances of Kuhu's rudeness would be a much longer list 😊.

@bold - It happens that you tune out people whose opinion doesn't matter to you at all. But Mishti does retaliate sometimes and she also mentions that the way she behaves towards Kuhu is the direct result of how she behaves towards her. Nishant mentions it once. And Abir mentioned it too (I know it was also only once and he apologized almost right away).

What I'm trying to say really is that what someone else does or behaves is not in our control, only how we react to it. That's why I think how Mishti's been dealing with it so far is best. She didn't let it affect her much and managed to do what she wanted.

There may be some measure of comfort for us in knowing everyone knows about her behavior towards Mishti, but don't people already know? They know the two of them never got along. They know Kuhu was immature enough to ask to be married the same time as Mishti and still allowed it. Why give in at that time and allow the question to be put to Mishti? They could have stopped it right there if they had said you want to get married again, then we'll have a separate ceremony. Everyone saw her outburst on holika dahan and tried chastising her holi day for not coming down. None of the comments made ever got through to Kuhu or made her realize she may be wrong and I don't see any concrete action being taken (and don't really know what action can be). If it does come out and Kunal is mad at her, that's one more reason for her to blame Mishti and BB will also turn it around to it being Mishti's fault. That's why I was trying to figure out who might be best to show Kuhu that unless she can stop competing with Mishti and blaming her for her own problems, she won't be able to move on. Having her realize this herself would be least damaging to Mishti as well. And finally, while it's true that she behaves terribly towards Mishti (and now indirectly Abir), Kunal and BB have treated her terribly. I don't think they are in a very strong position to make any comments to her about her bad behavior.

Mishti is very strong, and I think she has had to be, growing up with Kuhu and Jasmeet. It seems to me that very few people's opinions matter to her. Kuhu's is definitely not one of them.

@bold italics - A lot of things are taken lightly in the show - mental abuse, slapping, shoving, spiking drinks, kidnapping...

Absolutely with you on that. She should stay far far away from Kuhu and her affairs, but then show will be over as you say 😆.

Yeah, Mishti retaliates sometimes, but most times she accepts or ignores the crap coming her way. She does not strongly object to how she is treated. Makes me think she too has subconsciously partly accepted that she doesn't really belong to the family (or that she isn't pretty for that matter) because it is hammered into her head everyday... and that is one the main reasons she accepts these random selfish demands like sharing the mandap!

Ummm...can't seem to recall when Nishant mentioned that, Nannu ka mujhe sachme jyada kuch yaad nahin hai. By Abir mentioning it, you mean calling Kuhu out on her resort outburst on Mishti? That was such a token reaction, and his apology right after... - makes me question if writers will ever take Abir to a state where he stops indulging Kuhu? Few more incidents perhaps if I remain optimistic... par filhal toh I fear they are going to keep flip-floping Abir's character and MishBir relationship to keep this one-sided KuBir bond alive

You really think everyone knows the extent of Kuhu's mistreatment of Mishti? I would rather not... because if they do, it's even more sad that they think it's okay and no one finds it necessary to correct Kuhu?!

Mahs are shown in some lala land and are still made to believe the sisters have immense love and each other's back even after witnessing several ugly instances involving them

BB and even Kunal himself are well aware of the sisters equation as both have used it to their advantage not too long ago... BB of course is fueling the fire while Kunal is conveniently made to forget having that knowledge so that he can join Abir in being oblivious to the extent of dis-functionality and Abir can continue to dismiss Mishti's concerns and keep putting his marriage to the test in the process!

Kunal may remain cool for Abir having spiked coffee by mistake but he is likely to lose it upon knowing that Kuhu did mean for Mishti to have it to be able to do the pooja. I agree, he and BB have done terrible things to Kuhu and are not in a position to call out Kuhu, but when has that ever stopped them from anything or owed her any explanations?! They get a free pass and best treatment from Kuhu because her misplaced anger is just fixated on Mishti... sab Mishti ki wajah se, rest doesn't matter 😳

It is true and Mishti has even pointed it out to her clearly that Kuhu's behavior towards her compels her to behave certain way. Contrary to what some want to believe, Mishti does not have equal share in their dis-functional relationship, in fact, she has to fix very little on her side to make it better. If Kuhu stops mistreating and blaming Mishti and focuses on herself for her happiness, the sisters relationship will automatically get far far better! But again, we are back to the same question - who can get her and eventually them there?

@bold

Agreed and sadly most of it goes unpunished...

But since the rudeness and mistreatment is continuous in the backdrop, it stands out and doesn't let us forget.

Originally posted by: SheThought

Yeah, Mishti retaliates sometimes, but most times she accepts or ignores the crap coming her way. She does not strongly object to how she is treated. Makes me think she too has subconsciously partly accepted that she doesn't really belong to the family (or that she isn't pretty for that matter) because it is hammered into her head everyday... and that is one the main reasons she accepts these random selfish demands like sharing the mandap!

Ummm...can't seem to recall when Nishant mentioned that, Nannu ka mujhe sachme jyada kuch yaad nahin hai. By Abir mentioning it, you mean calling Kuhu out on her resort outburst on Mishti? That was such a token reaction, and his apology right after... - makes me question if writers will ever take Abir to a state where he stops indulging Kuhu? Few more incidents perhaps if I remain optimistic... par filhal toh I fear they are going to keep flip-floping Abir's character and MishBir relationship to keep this one-sided KuBir bond alive

You really think everyone knows the extent of Kuhu's mistreatment of Mishti? I would rather not... because if they do, it's even more sad that they think it's okay and no one finds it necessary to correct Kuhu?!

Mahs are shown in some lala land and are still made to believe the sisters have immense love and each other's back even after witnessing several ugly instances involving them

BB and even Kunal himself are well aware of the sisters equation as both have used it to their advantage not too long ago... BB of course is fueling the fire while Kunal is conveniently made to forget having that knowledge so that he can join Abir in being oblivious to the extent of dis-functionality and Abir can continue to dismiss Mishti's concerns and keep putting his marriage to the test in the process!

Kunal may remain cool for Abir having spiked coffee by mistake but he is likely to lose it upon knowing that Kuhu did mean for Mishti to have it to be able to do the pooja. I agree, he and BB have done terrible things to Kuhu and are not in a position to call out Kuhu, but when has that ever stopped them from anything or owed her any explanations?! They get a free pass and best treatment from Kuhu because her misplaced anger is just fixated on Mishti... sab Mishti ki wajah se, rest doesn't matter 😳

It is true and Mishti has even pointed it out to her clearly that Kuhu's behavior towards her compels her to behave certain way. Contrary to what some want to believe, Mishti does not have equal share in their dis-functional relationship, in fact, she has to fix very little on her side to make it better. If Kuhu stops mistreating and blaming Mishti and focuses on herself for her happiness, the sisters relationship will automatically get far far better! But again, we are back to the same question - who can get her and eventually them there?

@bold

Agreed and sadly most of it goes unpunished...

But since the rudeness and mistreatment is continuous in the backdrop, it stands out and doesn't let us forget.

Yeah, she thinks of them as her family but having to constantly say that and try to get people to believe it can take a toll for sure. And somehow she seems to still think she owes them something just for raising her, and at least Jasmeet and Kuhu seem to think so as well. I've noticed she tries not to put the family in a situation where they have to choose between her happiness and either Kuhu's or Nishant's. That whole thing when she says "ehsaan faramoshi" to BM seems to make it clear that somehow she still has that feeling right?

Yeah Nishant mentioned once, but can't remember when and I don't really like to re-watch that track too much. KuBir bond - it may be possible to have a good bond with your brother-in-law when you hate your sister but if that doesn't soften your stance towards your sister, it will most likely impact the husband-wife bond. Why do you say one-sided though? She also helped Abir na?

Maheshwaris are definitely living in la-la land if they don't understand how Kuhu still feels about Mishti after everything that happened. What Jasmeet is telling Kuhu doesn't help either. Varsha seemed to realize this, and did ask her to stop. But no one in that family has directly addressed this. Just saying you have to get along with each other because it is your sasural doesn't really do anything to resolve the issue.

You're right about BB and Kunal. I know someone else in the thread also mentioned Kunal as a possible person to help resolve the issues. He knows how Kuhu feels about Mishti, but he seems more keen on shutting her up and not getting involved in issues between them. Maybe when he gets his head out of the sand, he'll be able to help.

Yeah, she projects on Mishti and that's why I'm saying having more people blame her is unlikely to help the situation. And I'm with you that that Kuhu will be happier when she stops blaming Mishti, but I feel it will be impossible to get her to that point simply by pointing out her mistakes. It will be interesting to see if they even decide to resolve these issues or just take it a completely different route and forget all of this.

Hi guys

I have a few points to add on here. Not completely related to the post but related to Mishti and Kuhu nonetheless. Will write in the evening.

i think nishant calls out kuhu when she asks nishant why he is marrying mishti, as he half life spoiled just she woke up next to her for some years and you want your life to become boring make her as wife...

so nishant calls out kuhu and says she is would be wife and you dont have a right to say anything to her...

nsihant even comments of kuhu's curly her and calls jelly girl... how much she says she is fashionista, modern or anything bit for nishant she will remain jelly only... i think its like boring or not upto the mark...

for me sisters issue can be solved when they start trust each other or when kuhu stops interfering with mishti in their sasuraal...

kuhu is not even leaving a chance for mishti to make a place... she always in mode of meri lime light chali jayegi if mishti is a 1% chance... kuhu have to be at peace or take resposibility of her actions and on her life, for her blaming others wont give the pleasure like she get blaming mishti... kuhu want to be good infront others especially by blaming mishti, so she will never question MAH nor BB nor kunal... she just blames mishti as she came into her life and her home warna ye sab nahi hota...

coming to mishti, im mad at makers, what did she even do to go trough this mental pressure, how much we have to see mishti's demean and mental abuse of her, just to say NO is a girl right they bought unnecessary shaadi drama...

just to show if u a person adopted even by head of family, she has to face the warmth of other family members, just because they dont like her... to make her feel worst muhbholi, ehsaan , aur kya kuch nahi kehte... how long this issues will go on?

is it a child problem if her parents or family left her? did she made any mistake to make her live like this...

i just love BM-BP parvarish, till now mishti is not effected by kuhu or jas words warna mishti kya hota sirf makers jaane...

i hope abir gets what he is doing, esply towrads mishti, i can understand he want to protect her from BB but he is pressuring mishti same like others and not even listening to her, he is giving importance to all other relations except their relation...

i hope they wont butcher abir's character to an extent where we cant even relate him...

Originally posted by: ruhi19

i think nishant calls out kuhu when she asks nishant why he is marrying mishti, as he half life spoiled just she woke up next to her for some years and you want your life to become boring make her as wife...

so nishant calls out kuhu and says she is would be wife and you dont have a right to say anything to her...

nsihant even comments of kuhu's curly her and calls jelly girl... how much she says she is fashionista, modern or anything bit for nishant she will remain jelly only... i think its like boring or not upto the mark...

for me sisters issue can be solved when they start trust each other or when kuhu stops interfering with mishti in their sasuraal...

kuhu is not even leaving a chance for mishti to make a place... she always in mode of meri lime light chali jayegi if mishti is a 1% chance... kuhu have to be at peace or take resposibility of her actions and on her life, for her blaming others wont give the pleasure like she get blaming mishti... kuhu want to be good infront others especially by blaming mishti, so she will never question MAH nor BB nor kunal... she just blames mishti as she came into her life and her home warna ye sab nahi hota...

coming to mishti, im mad at makers, what did she even do to go trough this mental pressure, how much we have to see mishti's demean and mental abuse of her, just to say NO is a girl right they bought unnecessary shaadi drama...

just to show if u a person adopted even by head of family, she has to face the warmth of other family members, just because they dont like her... to make her feel worst muhbholi, ehsaan , aur kya kuch nahi kehte... how long this issues will go on?

is it a child problem if her parents or family left her? did she made any mistake to make her live like this...

i just love BM-BP parvarish, till now mishti is not effected by kuhu or jas words warna mishti kya hota sirf makers jaane...

i hope abir gets what he is doing, esply towrads mishti, i can understand he want to protect her from BB but he is pressuring mishti same like others and not even listening to her, he is giving importance to all other relations except their relation...

i hope they wont butcher abir's character to an extent where we cant even relate him...

Thanks Ruhi. I know he said something and remember thinking - finally! but couldn't remember when. Anyway, the feeling was short-lived after the track went sideways 😕

Trust - I don't know yaar. Given all the history, it will be difficult. The way I see it, both of them are very insecure in their position in their sasural. Mishti because Meenu hates her and Kuhu because Meenu keeps saying she is not her saas. Insecurity and dislike are an unlikely base for any kind of trust.

Agree that Kuhu will be happy if she moves on from blaming Mishti and focuses on her own life.

I think all that torture seems about normal for what ITV FLs go through. What I like is how it hasn't really led her to be a grin and bear anything type of person.

Although it started as girl having a right to choose and say no and all that, we have moved on from there na?

People (not just those who are adopted) do face this kind of difficulty. It can make you bitter or you move on and don't let it affect you.

It's definitely not the child's fault and I really can't see why they keep harping on this home-breaker tag as if she caused her parents' break-up. If she did by just existing, can't that be said for Abir and Kunal as well? In that sense, I find Meenu to be the worst hypocrite. The same for the way she reacted to Kuhu not being Varsha's daughter, especially when she of all people knew it was the same for Kunal. Anyway, Meenu's hypocrisy is probably for a different thread altogether.

Jas is obviously very angry with her now because of Nishant and that obviously affects whatever she is saying to Mishti now. Mishti is also bearing the brunt of her anger with BP for forcing NishMish rishta since she isn't able to say anything to him directly. At least in this her anger is justified and should be acknowledged by the elders na? She's been saying from the beginning about Abir and Mishti and finally when it came out her son was hurt. She doesn't know he was acting like he drank, so she's worried about that as well. Abir was the only one who apologized to her. (Did Mishti? I don't really remember now.) It's sad that whatever she is teaching Kuhu is actually harmful to Kuhu as well. This is also probably for a different thread.

Abir yes, he really needs to listen, hear, and understand what Mishti is saying. I hope they show that.

Originally posted by: angelfire78

Thanks Ruhi. I know he said something and remember thinking - finally! but couldn't remember when. Anyway, the feeling was short-lived after the track went sideways 😕

Trust - I don't know yaar. Given all the history, it will be difficult. The way I see it, both of them are very insecure in their position in their sasural. Mishti because Meenu hates her and Kuhu because Meenu keeps saying she is not her saas. Insecurity and dislike are an unlikely base for any kind of trust.

Agree that Kuhu will be happy if she moves on from blaming Mishti and focuses on her own life.

I think all that torture seems about normal for what ITV FLs go through. What I like is how it hasn't really led her to be a grin and bear anything type of person.

Although it started as girl having a right to choose and say no and all that, we have moved on from there na?

People (not just those who are adopted) do face this kind of difficulty. It can make you bitter or you move on and don't let it affect you.

It's definitely not the child's fault and I really can't see why they keep harping on this home-breaker tag as if she caused her parents' break-up. If she did by just existing, can't that be said for Abir and Kunal as well? In that sense, I find Meenu to be the worst hypocrite. The same for the way she reacted to Kuhu not being Varsha's daughter, especially when she of all people knew it was the same for Kunal. Anyway, Meenu's hypocrisy is probably for a different thread altogether.

Jas is obviously very angry with her now because of Nishant and that obviously affects whatever she is saying to Mishti now. Mishti is also bearing the brunt of her anger with BP for forcing NishMish rishta since she isn't able to say anything to him directly. At least in this her anger is justified and should be acknowledged by the elders na? She's been saying from the beginning about Abir and Mishti and finally when it came out her son was hurt. She doesn't know he was acting like he drank, so she's worried about that as well. Abir was the only one who apologized to her. (Did Mishti? I don't really remember now.) It's sad that whatever she is teaching Kuhu is actually harmful to Kuhu as well. This is also probably for a different thread.

Abir yes, he really needs to listen, hear, and understand what Mishti is saying. I hope they show that.

so u r saying, the behaviour of kuhu is because of meenu saying kuhu as parul ki bahu but for me, it is because of mishti and mishti getting SPL bahu tag, getting khandani necklaces, etc( i may be wrong but for me kuhu is more affected by mishti getting ornaments than, see on first rasoi kuhu didnt even said a thing about mishti's cooking skills until and unless meenu spoke about haar, so for me kuhu just need RJV bahu name and all materialistic things, if she is being called by parul bahu that wont effect her if she receives all materialistic things, so her insecurity is of mishti getting everything than parul ki bahu tag)

All ITV FL go trough so much but here from past 271 epi, ek hi baat se chala raha hain "SAB MISHTI KI WAJAH SE" will they ever come out of that or ever they want to address this issue or not?

yes we have moved ON from girl has a right to say NO but after leap again they bought the same thing just increase drama... always they have to choose between their children, which i really hate, mishti kitna bhi kare they will never satisfy...esply jas and kuhu...

home breaker tag not only for mishti or abir or kunal, it applies to kuhu too, she is the child from extra marital affair, if mishti is a home breaker as her parents are divorced because of her then kuhu also same, she is breaker of varsha's home but she is accepted by everyone, same as abir and kunal, but mishti never accepted by MAH totally... except BM-BP, no one accepted mishti whole heartedly...

see, mishti and abir apologise to jas on the night of nishmish shaadi, where abir comes to meet her and they both apologise to her...

jas i can understand her pain but never support her, she knows mishbir can never be seperated, so she asked her son to cancel wedding, because like meenu, jas to cant bear a girl rejecting her son that too mishti... its clear from jas conversation with nishant(in initial days of his marriage), jas is irritated with mishti as she didnt say YES to nishant immediately when BP asked Mishti, most of indian mother's cant accept that her son being rejected by a girl...

the convo with varsha too... more than nannu's heart break for jas, she is irritated with the fact, mishti ne nannu ko mandap pe chod diya and mishti ko koyi kuch nahi kahega, i mean seriously, if your son rejects then u wont even sympathise mishti but mishti ne kiya tho bawal machana hain... it makes ,me to think will she ever think of her own son happiness or her personal ego is important to her?

the way jas instigating kuhu, is not good for anyone, but it can be happen when kuhu realise this...

lets see, if show resumes what can be the scenario...