And Then She Found Me-Chapter 37 PG 58 13/11/17 - Page 14

"May I join you?" He asked as the sky began to adorn itself in with the night jewels. He was standing at the top of the stairs that led to the terrace dressed in his work out zip up hoody, vest and sweats.
"Like you even have to ask." Payal smiled, making space on the swing for him to join her.
"What's this?" He asked picking up the book as he sat beside her, rocking his heel back, gently letting the swing rock back and forth. "Ah, Phantom of the Opera. It's a classic. One of my favourites."
"Khushi gave this and whole bunch of other literary classics. She's not a big fan of modern literature. She says the authors' of today always miss what the classic ones would never let slip. Detail." Another thing they have in common he thought. He too hated modern novels. Every time he walked into the book store there seemed to be an ongoing war with a boy named Harry and booked called Twilight. But that wasn't the reason he wanted to speak to her.
"Payal, I am going to ask you something and I want you to tell me the truth."
"I would never lie to you bhaiya."
"No that's ...that's not what I meant. What I am trying to say is that I don't want you to answer me as though you are answering your brother-in-law, I want you to answer me as a friend." His tone reflected the sincerity of his tone. She was free to tell him what was on her mind. "Are you happy? Here, in this house, with us?" He honestly didn't know what her answer would be and a part of him was not prepared for the worst. In six months Payal made herself a part of everyone's life as though she had always been there. For him she was not different to Di or Akash. His need to protect and provide were just as instinctive for her as they were for them.

"I've been in Delhi for 6 months now, never had to leave home before then. It's a beautiful city, I have grown to love it." She said in her polite voice. "But I miss my streets and my friends...And mum and dad, I think about them every day." The sadness in her tone had crept up into her eyes as she whipped away the tears to show him her smile. "But I would never go back Arnav," she said his name assuring him that she was telling the truth. "This is my home now. My family. The thought of leaving all you crushes me, I could never do it." He believed her. He saw the love she had for his family in her eyes.
"And Aksash? He is treating you well?" He asked hesitantly.
"Yes very well," she laughed slightly confused by his questions. "But what has bought all this on?"
"I am sorry I know it was wrong of me to eavesdrop. But earlier in the week I heard you talk to Khushi... You mentioned something about a fight and then her saying something about the men in this family being difficult. I know my brother to be kind natured but I couldn't not worry." Payal began to giggle as she shook her head. "Payal I don't want you to just brush this off thinking I would side with Akash. Or that you need to make some sort of silent sacrifice for the happiness of the family. Because that is not true. I will side with who is right and punish who is wrong be it my own brother. I made a promise to your father I won't break it." Payal placed her hand on Arnav's shoulder to calm his rising temper with the situation. She stopped laughing but her smile stayed in place as she spoke.
" I was trying to explain to Khushi that every couple has fights but not talking to one another would not solve matter...but watching you two today...You'll figure it out in your own time in your own way...But to answer your question yes I am very happy and your brother is the most wonderful thing that could ever have happened to me. I mean it." He nodded acknowledging her response. "Beside how could ever think about leaving when my sister will be soon joining me as a part of this family." She said excitedly.

"I am glad one of us is excited." He said in a tiered tone.
"Oh come on Arnav don't think you can fool me."
"I have no idea what you are talking about...You want to play a game of teen paati?" He asked leaning over for the deck of cards from the nearby coffee table. Payal turned to face him and crossed her legs on the swing as Arnav handed out the cards.
"She is a little mad." Payal said. Arnav raised his eyebrow questioningly. "Ok completely mad but she's not all bad. In fact she is a more mature for her age than people give her credit for."
"I would like to say that I can't argue with that. But you did see her little display of immaturity downstairs right?" Arnav knew Khushi was wiser beyond her years. He had seen it in the way she dealt with bad situations, they way she had dealt with him at times.
"And what your about little green monster." She teased.
"What do you mean?"
"Didn't you ask Akash to book that cow on purpose to wind up Khushi?"
"Payal, I won't make any compromises with my business to get back your little sister."
"You hate Lisa, especially after last time when she walked out of the shoot. You told Akash to make sure she never got another contract. Admit it na, you were jealous." She chirped before she complained "You win."
"Payal I think your forgetting that you are actually talking to your Jethji." He said in a serious tone hoping to avoid further ribbing whilst concentrating on handing out the fresh set of cards.
"You remember very well on my first day in this house you promised me I would always find a friend in you, that you would always be the older brother I never had. So bhaiya this is me being the younger sister you never had."

"As if having one Gupta in the household wasn't bad enough I've gone ahead and agreed to marry another one. I loaded a gun which was facing towards me." He mumbled loud enough for Payal to hear. She playfully punched his shoulder. "You know I thought you told Khushi about how many relationships I had. And I wasn't mad at you but I ended up telling her at the wrong time and in the wrong place."
"What? Why? I didn't, I wouldn't have told her because I trusted you to tell her in your own time." She was confused again by his conversation. He remembered how easily he had told Payal about his past before his family sent the proposal for Khushi. It was only with her consent would the engagement gone ahead. He needed for someone from Khushi's family to know the truth as he was not yet ready to tell Khushi himself. But he didn't want to feel as though he was hiding anything.
"I know, but I am also aware of the fact that women talk. It's ok though she took it much better than I expected."

"She chooses to be mature only when it's absolute necessity. But most of the time she prefers to be bindas...Vaise...I must say it was quite entertaining watching you both being jealous." Payal giggled.
"I was not jealous." He quickly defended.
"Lisa?" She reminded him.
"She started it, what was with the whole Eshwaar business?" Payal's giggles turned into full on laughter as Arnav watched his beloved sister-in-law shake her head in disbelief. "Unbelievable." He placed his revealed is cards wanting to complete the game and call it a night.
"Arnav I know you're not very spiritual but I at least expected you to understand who she was talking about." Payal finally spoke, catching her breath. Arnav Looked at her with a puzzled expression. "She was on about God. Bhagwaan, Eshwaar, same thing." She pointed out.
"Oh." 'Damn' Thought Arnav. What she had said started to make a lot more sense to him now that Payal had put things into perspective.
"You win again." Payal said as she saw his hand of cards.
"I always win...But it always sounds better when it comes from someone else." He said with his usually tone of arrogance whilst getting up to leave.

"What's this brother? You seem to enjoy the company of your new sister more than your old brother. Leaving so soon?" Akash was walking towards the swing his eyes fixed on his glowing wife. Arnav had always found love sick couples quite sickening and selfish. Every second of every minute of their lives would revolve around each and their little world. But Arnav could had began to realise it wasn't something you could just fight off. It's not as though Akash went out deliberately looking for love, it found him. Like Khushi had found Arnav.
"What kind of bother would I be if I kept my brother away from the reason he now breaths." Arnav said quiet enough just so Akash could hear him. "Oh by the way she is much stronger than she looks. Trust me." He warned Akash remembering the pain from the slap in the back he received.
"But Bhai-?"
"Trust me Akash,just don't do anything that would lead her to getting violent. Not even by accident."

"What are you two whispering about?" A curious Payal asked.
"Business as always." Arnav was quick to reply as he gently pushed Akash towards Payal.
"So you are going to cancel Lisa for the fall shoot, right?" Payal asked, ever fighting Khushi's corner.
"Bhai, she's going to be hard to get hold off. Apparently she is in some rehab centre in Vienna for her, well to put in simple words, her anger management."
"No I still want Lisa for the season."
"Khushi is not going to happy about this Bhiaya, don't say I didn't warn you." Payal advised.
"Let's just say I like it when her little green monster comes out to play."

***

Khushi sat in her rocking chair strumming the strings of her guitar without any accord. She kept thinking about how she had behaved and how she kept behaving every time he bought up Lisa. She wasn't fond of the woman after the disaster with her fur coat but she had never felt like this. The need to wring the women's neck was not something she had felt at all. 'All because of Arnav.' She couldn't help all the change had recently bought up in her. How she had so easily let her guard down around him. She let him stay over and then slept over at his. She allowed herself to get drunk around him and almost kiss him in the same night. She couldn't help but feel for him. All these feelings were new to her. She was caring for him, comfortable with him. The thought of being held in his arms gave her warmth and security.

But she couldn't deny the change she saw in him. A change she never expected to see. But how far would this change go. She knew he didn't believe in love. He had toldher countless times. Would love from one person be enough for them both? She didn't want to think about it but how was she going to fight the fact. That maybe, just maybe she was falling in love with the man she once called a monster. Was she ready to lose her to heart to a man that may never truely be hers.

**

Khushi couldn't remember where the day had gone. All she kept thinking about was the evening ahead. She had been to these parties before with her parents and never looked forward to them. But today for the first time to she would be attending as Arnav Singh Raizada's would be wife. She felt a sense of pressure that was not there in the past. She was too wound up to risk making a phone call to him. She doubted that he would be able to calm her nerves. In fact, the thought of him conjured the scenerio playing in her mind from last night and right now she wanted to be able to think straight. She would let the evening play out. She would just go with the flow.

She looked at the gown that hung by her dressing table. She hated the fact that she had to use her credit card to buy it. It would take forever for her to pay it off. She finished applying last of her makeup and changed into the dress. The house rang phone and her hands began to shake as she put on her earring at the thought of who it may be. She could hear her aunt answer the phone.
"Oh thitaliya, Arnav bitwa is waiting downstairs for you."
"I'll be done in two minutes." Khushi rushed to grab her shoes. She glanced at her watch. 'Of course Laad Governor had to be 10 minutes early!' She ran down the three flights of stairs and thought it was best that she didn't put on her heels until she reach downstairs. She got to the entrance of her apartment and was sliding her small kitten heeled sandals on.

***

"What the- What is this girl doing?" Arnav had swapped his usual white 4x4 for a sleek black Audi RS convertible. He stepped out of the car to get a better look at Khushi. And then he saw her. Her hair tied up in a loose bun with curls sweeping across her face, her plump red lips, her pink blushed cheeks. She was wearing an emerald green gown with a black long coat. She looked up at him, seeing his mesmerised stare the pink of cheeks grew a little deeper. She slowly made her way towards him. He wanted time to stop. He wanted to see her like this forever. He wanted enough time to capture this image of her to last him a life time. He opened the passenger door unable to tear away his eyes from her beauty.

Neither of them had spoken a word. Not even a hello. Khushi kept stealing glances of Arnav from the corner of her eyes. He was wearing a black suit with a white shirt and black tie. This was not the first time she was seeing him suit, he practically lived in the thing. 'It's the white shirt' she thought to herself, ' always a sucker for guys in white shirts.' She couldn't deny that she had never met a more handsome man than Arnav Singh Raizada. The thought of his name made her stomach jump.

Today was the first time that she would be stepping out, officially, as his fiance. She would have to meet and greet the potential investors, there would be a show of just how perfect they are together and how strong their bond is. She knew the role she had to play, she just had to make sure she didn't get it confused with reality.

"Tum teek ho?" Arnav finally spoke looking out of his windscreen.
"Hmmm." She answered too nervous to speak. What she couldn't figure out if she was nervous about the way she felt for him or attending the party.
"You don't sound ok."
"I am fine."
"Are you still mad about yesterday? Look, me booking Lisa is strictly business-."
"Oh get over yourself Raizada." She snapped at the sound of his former flames name.

***

Khushi dress. This is what the fuss is all about!

"Arnav I just need a couple of minutes please." She said, again not looking back at him. He let his hand slide off her shoulder and watched her as she glided through the crowd.

Khushi found herself alone in the powder room of the grand hotel but even alone she found no peace. She was pacing the length of the room often thinking out aloud. Everything was happening so fast it all seemed like a huge blur. A blur of emotions she couldn't decipher. She actually didn't know how she felt. She took a hand towel and ran it under the cold water before patting the damp cloth on the back of her neck. "Ok Khushi, just think logically, this isn't rocket science, you are not trying to solve global warming issues. You are just trying to figure out you. And since you've been your own best friend for the past 22 years that cannot be hard! Ok first things first." She picked up her mobile and began to dial the familiar number.
"Kannan here, I can't get to the phone right now...or I am just avoiding your calls...Anyway you can try a leave a message after the tone but I can't promise I will call back."
"Dammit Kannan!" She cut the call throwing her phone against the marble countertop. "It's ok Khushi you've got this ... just calm down." She sat down on the small sofa tapping her foot as she sorted through her thoughts.

She had wanted them to become friends. It was the least she could expect from, he owed her that much. But this friendship was meant to make things easier for them. They would both know where they stand with each other. But the feelings she had for him where they just for a good friend? No doubt he had a physical effect on her. She was attracted to him but was there more to this crush? How could she have let the line between friendship and the next step become distort? How, in such a short time, could they go from being friends to lovers?
"No no we are not lovers. He is not my lover. He is incapable of love." She had begun pacing the room again as she thought out aloud and froze at the words which had just left her lips. "Incapable of love...?" How could she believe that?

Khushi stared at her reflection in the mirror. Could she go ahead with marrying Arnav knowing she was stomping all over someone else's broken heart? But could she leave Arnav now? One week ago it would have been an easy choice. But one week had changed her life.

***

Khushi knew she couldn't hide in there forever. She plucked up her courage and walked out to join the party which by now was in full swing. The music could just about be heard over all the laughing and chit chatting of the guest. She was only able to walk a couple of meters through the crowd before a guest caught her attention to congratulate her on her engagement. Many of them women gushing of how beautiful they look together. And how handsome Arnav looked always. She shared glances with them at him to find that he was always looking at her.

He was just glad that she was there. He did not doubt the success of the party nor felt the pressure of pleasing the guest. He did feel his nerves shaken slightly when she walked away from him after their dance. How she didn't stop even after he called her name. He felt she would have left. But she was here, doing exactly what she promised him. As a friend she was standing by him and as his fiance she did her best at playing the part. He watched her as she stole glances towards him, with each look they shared reassurance washed through him.

Finding her without her date Payal and Akash gave Khushi some company. As much as she tried to keep hold of conversationwith them she was focused on the couple engaging in a heated a discussion. They were on their own in the dimly light corner on the other side of the room. She was able to catch glimpses of them through the moving crowd. The jewels on her dress caught the light every now and then forcing Khushi to watch them.
"Khushi, will you do me the honour of giving me this dance." Akash asked whilst bowing to her. Diverting her attention she instinctively smiled a big warm smile.
"It's about time you paid some attention to your sister-in-law Jiju." She teased.
"I must say you look beautiful tonight." Akash said as he twirled her onto the dance floor.
"Loh, don't I look beautiful everyday?"
"What with your jeans covered in paint? I don't think so."
"Oh ho Jiju if you ever decided to take your eyes off my Jiji maybe you will notice that they are only covered in paint sometimes."
"I see, so my eyes are on your Jiji, like your eyes are on my bhai?" He teased but Khushi didn't hear him as the woman's glistening jewels caught her attention once again. Khushi felt a slight blow to heart as she saw him place his hand on her shoulder. Her gaze met Khushi's and she instantly jerked her shoulder away from his touched. He followed the women in the red dresses gaze to see the flutter of green fabric as he watched the woman of his thoughts leave.

Arnav was storming past people, not looking back at the devastation he caused to the guest he ignored as he focused on following the emerald green. But she seemed on a her mission of her own.
"Khushi, stop, listen to me...Khushi ...Khushi!" He grabbed her hand and pulled her around to face him.
"What's wrong?" His eyes riddled with concern.
"Arnav I just want to be alone." She said trying to free herself from his grip.
"I am sorry about the whole Lisa thing. Look I won't book her-."
"NO. Why should you change your mind because of me? This is your business not mine. Why do I care? Why do you care that I care?!" She babbled at lightning speed.
"What the- Gupta why are you acting like this?" She pushed him away.
"I don't know! I don't know why or how or...why! This isn't me this isn't who I am! I am not a jealous person. Why do I feel like this? I don't know and I am scared. I am scared that I am going to want more from you that I am expecting more from you and that's not fair on you. And not fair on me...So much of me has changed in the past couple of weeks and it is freaking me out...I am scared of being close to you because I can't be...I won't be able to handle..." the heartbreak she thought. She couldn't be another Lavanya.
"ASR?" The sound of her voice confirmed all of Khushi's fears.

"I have to go."But Arnav grabbed her arms again and pulled her in towards him. Her back crashed against his front.
"Don't." His voice begged her. The whisper in her ears sent shivers down her spine as the words made her heart race.
"Let me go Arnav." She peeled his hands from her arms and he didn't fight back as he heard the double meaning in her words. He watched as she walked away. He felt like he had just awakened from a beautiful dream. Not wanting to believe it was over.
"ASR is everything ok?"

***

Khushi took a taxi back to her apartment hoping that being away from him would bring some clarity. But he was everywhere. She could feel his presence within every space of her apartment. She imagined him lounging on the sofa. She heard him call her name from the kitchen. She felt his presence in the art room and her bedroom reminded her of the countless sleepless nights she had thinking about him. He was everywhere. She knew what she had to do. She knew she would be in trouble for doing it but she didn't care.

She changed out her gown and wrote a note to her aunt for when she got up in the morning. Before leaving she paused and said a little prayer to her Devi Maiya in her mandhir and took a deep breath of resolution before she left her apartment.

She went down to the parking lot and uncovered the engagement gift she had received. Though Kannan had not attended he knew exactly what to gift her in order to cheer her up. She zipped up her leather jacket and tied her hair into neat plait before putting on her helmet. It was the second time she was riding her bike as she had been forbidden by both her family and Raizada's. She climbed onto her Ducati 1098 and turned the key to roar the engine to life. The mere sound of the purring red speed machine bought a smile of pleasure to her lips.

She hit the late night traffic with speed as she zip zapped in and out of the cars, leaving the blaring car horns behind her. As she left the city boundaries she began to ride the bike they way it was built to be ridden. She kept accelerating until she hit the highway. No amount of phone calls conversations would give her the comfort she need. 'Just a couple more hours.' She drove off into the night. 'Just a couple of hours and I will be home.'

***

As the morning sun embraced the land as Khushi reached the gates of her destination. She dismounted off her bike and quietly crept through the large white doors into the court yard.
"Khushi?" The warmth in her mother's voice pulled Khushi further from the cold morning shadows.
"Maa." She wrapped her arms tightly around her mother like her life depended on it.
"Khushi what are you doing here? This early? You didn't even call to say you where coming...Is Arnav betta with you?" Her mother looked over her shoulder to see if anyone followed behind her.
"Nahi, I've come on my own and if I had called you then how would this be a surprise?" She beamed wanting to forget that his name was mentioned. She wrapped her arm around her mother again. "I missed you maa."

***

Arnav paced his bedroom as he kept dialling Khushi's mobile number. He had been trying to call her since she left the party but there was no answer. He had left countless voice mails and text messages but was yet to receive a simple reply. All he was after was a simple "I am ok."

"Hello, you've reached Khushi here. Leave a message after the beep...Beeep...*giggles* ok no seriously leave a message after the beep...this one is the real one...here it comes...now-BEEP."

"GUPTA! Is this is your idea of a joke? I will make you regret the day you met me...ANSWER YOUR GODDAMN PHONE!"

"Hello, you've reached Khushi here. Leave a message after the beep...Beeep...*giggles* ok no seriously leave a message after the beep...this one is the real one...here it comes...now-BEEP."

"Khushi, I am sorry I shouted in the last message...I am worried about you...call me."

"You are ok?!" Garima argued as she watched Khushi bake the second cake. "You only start baking like this when there is something bothering you...Khushi, are you not going to tell your Maa what is bothering you so much?" Khushi wanted to tell her everything but was scared of how she may react.
"Maa there is nothing to tell you, I am baking because it has been months since you have had one of my cakes and since I was in the kitchen anyway I thought I could make one for your social club."Garima let it drop knowing Khushi would tell her eventually in her own tim.
"Have you called Arnav to let him know you have reached here safely...God only knows how he must be worried about you on that death trap."
"OUCH!" Khushi yelped as she burnt her skin above her elbow on the oven door. "TUT. If just mentioning that Laad Governors name could do this, imagine what would happen if he was actually here!" It felt good to finally vent some anger.
"Shush. You shouldn't speak of him like that he is going to be your husband." Garima led Khushi to the sink to run her arm under the cold water.
"I am not too sure about that." Khushi Said quietly.
"What? Khushi what are you saying?" Garima asked in a raised voice. "Is that why you are here? Did you fall out with him? Please tell me you didn't make any rash decisions." She held her by the shoulders seeking some reassurance from her daughter.
"I haven't decided anything yet." Khushi admitted. Garima sat Khushi down at the kitchen table as she fetched the first aid box. She sat down and began to apply some ointment to the burn.
"Khushi you have to tell me what is going on?"
"I don't think I can marry him..."She said in a whisper.
"But why? You have to have a reason." But there was only silence from Khushi.

***

Arnav left one last message on Khushi's voicemail before making his way downstairs to leave for work.

"Yes Bua, I will tell everyone...Didnt she say why...Ok...No...Yes...Bye." Payal put the phone down and was making her way to Anjali's room when she saw Arnav coming down the stairs.

"Oh, Bhaiya, before you leave Buaji just rang to tell me to let everyone at home not to worry about Khushi. She is visiting my parents in Lucknow-"

"What the hell...How long is she staying there?"

"She didn't say, she left a note for Buaji this morning...Her bike is also missing but that explains how she got there so quick." Arnav couldn't help but to dial her number again in one last attempt to get hold of her.

"She has forgotten her mobile at home." Payal said quietly as she saw the frustration boil under Arnav's cool exterior.

"That's it." His voice was full of controlled anger.

"Your father told me not to say anything to you. I thought it was always best to tell you from the start...I guess I was right."
"Tell me what Maa?"
"Why he gave his consent to this marriage." Khushi looked at her expectantly as Garima cleared way the first aid box. "The one thing all good parents have in common is that we worry for the future of their children. I think that me and your father can say that we are good parents...Atleast we have tried."
"Maa you guys are the best."
"Then know what we do for you we do for your best. Nothing worries your father more than the thought of you and Payal being left to grow old alone, or with the wrong man or family...He worried about you the most, Payal always fought for what she wanted but you...You my dear don't even fight for what is rightly yours if it means fighting against your own." She cupped Khushi's face in her hand. "You are our treasure, trust me when I say that I wouldn't want to part with you for any one less worthy of you...And Arnav...He will look after you, care for you, give you security and be your strength beta...Do you remember a month before Payal's wedding her father-in-law had to go away for business?" Khushi nodded, unable to speak as she absorbed her mother's wise words. " Your farther and I were really worried. There was still so much to do and he wasn't going to be back until the day before the wedding. The thought of something horribly going wrong kept occurring to us. But Arnav spoke to your father everyday going over every detail he had finalised to make sure we were in the loop, to offer us his help if we ever needed it. And that day when he took your father to the golf course... The things you said to him-."
"It was three days before the wedding and we still had plenty of customs to complete and he just took dad away-."
"To promise him that no matter what he would always look out for Payal like a younger sister. He would ensure her happiness and security and peace of mind. To make sure that his family gave her enough love and support not to miss us. And in return he asked you father to never treat him as an outsider. To voice any concerns and complaint to him without any hesitation. That he was as much a part of this family as we were a part of his." Tears were running down Khushi's cheeks. She remembered how stress free her father was during the time of the wedding and she had thought it was all down to her expert planning. But it had been him all along. In the back ground, quietly a tightening the ropes with the arrangements and bonds forming between the two families.
"Khushi, I know he is hot tempered but his heart is pure. And that's what matters the most...Would you rather have a husband who is sweet to you and brings you flowers everyday and never argues with you but lies to you and doesn't care for you and your family?" She shook her head to her mother question.
"You are going to be very happy with him...I can just see it...plus you sister is waiting for you to join her...I doubt even god himself would be able to find you a better suitor." She pulled Khushi in for a hug. "But the choice is yours beta. If you cannot go through with this then we will not force you." Khushi buried her face into her mother's hair as she did when she was a child. She had wanted to come home to shut of the emotions she had for him. But that seemed hard now more than ever.

***
The sun was setting over the beautiful country hills. Khushi had spent the day with her mother and though there was a lengthy discussion about Arnav she felt refreshed to able to speak to someone out of the box.
"Khushi your father has just rang and he has booked a table for us at your favourite restaurant and wants us to be ready when he gets home."
"What's rong with what I am wearing?"
"Khushi, its is the first time you have come home since your engagement...You are not going to be seen in jeans n your first dinner out. You're now accountable for two families' reputation...Go get ready properly." Khushi unwilling went to her room and her large walk in wardrobe to decide what to wear for the evening outing.

The red dress on the far end of the rail kept catching Khushi's eye. As though it was screaming at her to be worn. She stomped over to the dress and yanked the hanger off the rail, rolled it up into a ball and stuffed into a bottom drawer. Then without a second thought she pulled out the trusted little black off the shoulder dress and headed for the shower.

Khushi had managed to get shampoo in her eyes whilst in the shower. She had wrapped the towel around her and stepped into the room hoping that her eyes would sting less once she was out of the steam filled room.
"Don't you ever, ever do this to me again, do you understand or do I have to make myself more clear?"Hs voice was low but deadly. She could see the conflict in his eyes between rage and concern. He was holding her by her arms close against him. Khushi felt overwhelmed. She was glad he was there but then not. She wanted to hold him but part of her wanted to run miles away from him.

"I have to get changed." Fresh tears stung her eyes. He released his grip and faced away from her the instant he realised she was in a vulnerable state. She stood motionless watching him with his back to her standing in her bedroom. She felt her heart ache as true realisation of her feelings for the man finally hit home. Seeing him there in all his glory left no need for further dwelling on the matter.

"I am sorry." He said in a quiet voice and closed the door behind him as he left the room.

"How do you like my surprise?"Shashi greeted his daughter as Khushi ran into his arms. Khushi was using all her strength to hold back her tears.
"I missed you dad. So so soo much!" She released her arms from around his neck and placed a kiss on his cheek.
"I missed you to my little guddiya...Now tell me what better surprise than to have Arnav join us for dinner tonight?" Khushi looked over to Arnav. His lips almost formed into a small smile but his tiered eyes were still full of distress.

***

Dinner went pleasantly well. Though there were awkward silences and glances shared between the two. Arnav was finding it hard to stay mad at her. He didn't want to argue with her. He couldn't take his eyes off her. He had never before been drawn to such a simple beauty. A beauty that seemed to intensify with each passing day. But more than her stunning physical beauty he was drawn to the woman he was seeing as a whole being. She was right when she had said that she had changed. But he could only see it a plus or was that because of his selfish pleasure.

"Shall we leave the children to it Mr Gupta?"Garima said hinting towards Arnav as he gazed at an unknowing Khushi.
"I was just about to ask if you like to join me for a walk."
"Well we will join you." Khushi said.
"You haven't even had desert yet." Garima pointed out
"I am full and he isn't allowed sugar." Khushi concluded.
"I think your parents would like some time alone." Arnav suggested.
"They have been alone for the past four months." Khushi argued.
"Uncle, don't worry I'll get her home safe." Arnav said getting up as her parents did and sitting back down once they had left. Khushi sat back in her chair arms folded.

A whole 10 minutes went by and neither of them had said a word. Khushi was looking at everything and anything but him and he was looking only at her forgetting any and everything.
"You are going to have to talk eventually." Arnav prompted.
"There was a plan in place. It was all suppose to go according to plan." Khushi said no longer wanting to keep her thoughts from him.
"What the- You keep going on about this plan. What plan?"Arnav asked perplexed.
"It was simple, we were somehow going to get through this engagement, though I hoped we would be married by the end of the year. And then a couple of weeks after I would make some excuse of further studies or whatever and move back to Lucknow. I would come to visit every other weekend and you would occasionally come down, tough at the time I wasn't going to hold my breath on the later. But that way we could continue to have a successful marriage like most the people in our society do. By staying away from each other." Khushi explained in her usually animated fashion.
"Right and where's the part when you consult me about all this." Quiet annoyed at her suggestion of staying away from each other.
"There was no need to consult you Arnav. It was foolproof plan not you yourself would have been able to flaw it or see any objections to it." And she was right a couple of month ago this would have been the perfect solution for them both.
"Well what's changed? The plan now seems flawed." Arnav challenged.
"No. The plan is perfect. It's the players that have changed."
"I don't think so."
"Then riddle me this Arnav Singh Raizada, what are you doing here?" She didn't say his name with attitude or with any intention to rile him up. She said to remind him exactly who he was. And how insignificant this meeting would be to someone like him. Arnav didn't say another word.
"I would like to go home." She got up when he noticed the burn on her arm. He took hold of her hand.
"What happened." He asked examining the burn himself.
"I was baking cakes today-."
"What with your elbows?!" He cut in annoyed at her for not being careful. "It was garden gloves for me but for you I and going to have to get you a fire mans suit."Khushi pulled her hand from his.
"I said I want to go home."

***

The drive back to Gupta Mansion was spent in silence. Their time together had passed alot faster than Khushi hoped. Unlike the previous times when she had wanted time to stop because they were having fun, today she wanted time to stop because it would be the last time she could call him her's. The last time she felt her heart being whole.
"Khushi, I want you to come back home." She was fighting back the tears for the third time that day, feeling all the energy being drained from her as she braced her heart for the breaking it was going to receive.

"You should go home Arnav." She stepped out of the car before he could open the door for her.
"Not without you."
"Arnav stop it. We can't do this ...I mean I can't do this... not to you. All this time I just kept thinking about myself about how hard things have been for me how I have changed but never once thought about how hard this must all be for you how you have changed more than anyone had ever thought...I believe that if you love someone then you should never want to change them...and that's why I am letting you go...I don't ever want you to ever have to change Arnav, you are perfect...In your own imperfect way. I know you won't go back on your word, I know you can't break this engagement off. And as much as I want to keep you to myself I can't be selfish with you." She had said it. She had told him in more than those three infamous words how much he meant to her. If his happiness meant being away from her then she was more than happy to step away knowing her heart somewhere he was content.

Arnav watched her as she climbed the step to her home. He had never expected this from her. She was cutting him lose of all expectation. Her words bought a revelation in him.
"Khushi wait." But she continue to carry her heavy heart up the stairs.
"Khushi it was always you. Can't you see that." He wasn't even thinking before the words left his lips. He just knew it felt right. She stopped and turned t look at him

"It was you from the moment we met." He made his way up the stairs towards her. "Change can be a good thing...I changed because I wanted to...Because I know you deserve better...After everything I put you through you still put my happiness before your own...Who wouldn't want to change for a woman like that." Khushi couldn't hold back her tears any longer as she felt love from his eyes mending her broken heart. "Khushi you are everything I will ever want...When you left last night...it was the worst night of my life and I don't want to live like that...I am madly, deeply truly in lo-...I lov.." He stumbled backwards drawing sharp shallow breaths as he loosened his tie.

"Arnav...Arnav whats wrong?" Khushi put her arm around him and sat him down on the step. She helped him loosen his tie and unbutton the top buttons of his shirt and he continued to draw in deep breaths, his eyes wide.
"You have taken your medicine today?" She asked and he nodded. She felt his cold hands and saw the shock in his eyes. "I think you are having panic attack, put your head between your legs and take deep long breaths...you're going to be ok everything is just fine Arnav. I am right here." She rubbed his back soothingly as he drew in deep breaths.

"I...Have...Never said...This...To...Anyone." He said in between breaths looking up at her.
"What about when you were younger...How about to your parents?" He shook his head. "Ok, Di?"
"No." He gasped.
"Not even a little puppy." She knew it was a long shot but what harm could it do.
"Gupta...Why...I...Hate puppies." He answered slightly frustrated regardless of his condition.
"Of course you do my Laad Governor." She sat down on the floor in front of him and looked him the eyes. "I trust you." She took his hand and placed it over her drumming heart. "Can you feel that?"

Arnav was slightly confused to begin with but as he focused he could feel the gentle tremor under her soft skin. He looked back up at her in amazement.
"Khushi are you ok?" He asked concerned about her well being.
"I am fine." She smiled as she placed her hand over his steadying beat. "And it seems so are you." Arnav smiled realising what she had just done for him.

"I don't need to hear the three little words from you Arnav." She got up taking his hand into hers helping him up as well. "I know you probably dont want to hear them from me either...But I think you need to. You should be told everyday just how special you really are. Infact I intend on telling the entire world." She wrapped her hand around his neck as her lifter her off the ground by placing his tight grip around her tiny waist. She placed a light kiss on his cheek up to his ear. "Hello world, I hope you are paying attention." She giggled as she spoke into his ear. "I love you, Arnav Singh Raizada."