And Then She Found Me-Chapter 37 PG 58 13/11/17 - Page 8

Khushi could feel herself melting under his gaze. She wanted to tell him everything he wanted to know. But she noticed the worn lines under his eyes. Without thinking she traced the light circle under his eye with her fingers. He watched the curiosity and worry in her eyes.
"No." She said quietly.
"You don't trust me?" He asked slightly wounded at her response.
"No no no." Khushi protested as she gathered her thoughts. She gently released herself from his arms. He didn't want to let go but he would not hold her against her will. 'Think straight.' She told herself wanting to say the right thing for once. "I trust you. I just meant not now. I will tell you but you need to rest." She began to push him back towards the bed.
"Khushi, you were upset yesterday as well and now today..."
"Yesterday was about something else... Look don't worry I am ok now." He folded his arms and stood there like a bolder as she tried to push him but to no avail. She couldn't help but look into his dark caramel eyes. He was looking at her as though he was saying 'if it was me would you let it drop?'
"I know I know. If it was you, I would be picking your brains until you yelled at me to shut up." Arnav stood there stunned 'What the- '
"How did you know what I was thinking?" He asked in disbelief.
"You're eyes, they do a lot of the talking for you." She smiled. As she gave him a final push to it down on the bed. "And given any other day I would be more than happy to tell what, why, where and who but not today. I just want to make sure you are ok. Sleep. Now." He began to get comfortable before he shot back up. "Aare ab kya hua?"
"I have a conference call with foreign delegates in 3 hours." He ran his hand through his hair, a sign of stress she noticed.
"Ok. I'll wake you up in an hour which means you will still have a whole two hours to prep. And if there are any emergencies or if Aman calls I'll let you know." Arnav was pleasantly surprised with her negotiating skills. But this call was important and he had never left any responsibilities on Khushi before, not in regards to his meetings anyway.
"I don't know." He admitted frankly
"I will wake you up 6.30pm sharp. Now please get some rest...for me?" She pleaded.
"Ok but one hour. That's it."
"It's all I am asking for. Oh and if you need anything I have my phone and I will be in the T.V area." She had a quick glance around the room whilst Arnav got comfortable, 'good, no stupid laptop in sight.' She was about to close the doors when she remembered. "Oh Arnav quick question, have you seen my red dupatta? I think I left it by the pool side the other night."
"What? No why would I have your duppatta?" He defended.
"I didn't say you had it...I asked if you had seen it." Puzzled by his reaction Khushi thought it best she left now before he decided not to rest at all.

She had kept the prescription and when Om Prakash had returned from doing some shopping she had asked him to get the medication Arnav required.
"Khushiji." She heard the familiar voice call her from behind as she was on her way to the T.V area.
"Jijaji? When did you get back...sorry I mean how are you?" She asked confused by his presence.
"I am very well now that I have met you." Khushi ignored his discomforting comment. When she had first met Shyam Jha she thought him to be a very kind, pleasant, sweet man. But the sweetness had now become somewhat sickening; something had changed in the way he looked at her. To be honest it gave her the creeps. She had often flirted with Akash for fun prior to her engagement and even now they shared a great friendship. She knew that she could spend a whole day alone with Akash and not once feel uncomfortable. But spending even a few minutes with Shyam in a crowded room was too much. She began to think what Anjali saw in the man.

"I have been here all afternoon Khushi ji."
"Oh...Jiji said everyone was out..." Khushi thought out aloud. 'If he was here why didn't he come when she was shouting for help or when the doctor came.
"Dont worry Khushi your secret s safe with me." He winked.
"Secret what secret?"
"That you snuck in to meet Saalesaab when you thought no one was home." Khushi stood there and thought 'is he for real?'
"Jijaji, I am not a 15 year old school girl who has to sneak around to see her crush. I am a 23 year old woman who has come to meet her fiance. Something both our families are well aware and approve of." She said folding her arms. "And did you not hear me shouting before or hear the doctor come in?"
"Oh no! Why were you shouting Khushi ji and why was the doctor called?! Are you ok? I was in the gym and I had my headphones in. Had I known you were here I would not have been so careless. What happened?" He asked with more concern than was necessary.
"It's ok now, Arnavji was just feeling a little weak but he is fine. Please don't tell Di I promised him she wouldn't find out."
"It is best if Rani Shahiba doesn't know. I will go see Saalesaab."
"Nahi, he's taking rest now. I am to wake him soon, I'll ask him to come see you then." She turned walking away, hoping he would leave too.

"What have you planned now?" He called.
"Just some T.V."
"I am going to the outhouse for a glass of wine, care to join me?"
"No thank you." She hadn't stopped walking as he continued to call to her.
"Well if you need anything let me know."
"I am sure I will manage." She switched the T.V on and turned up the volume. 'Creep.'

Khushi went to check on Arnav and to her delight he was actually doing what he had asked her and was resting. "Another thirty minutes before I wake the beast." She said in a European accent as she walked down the corridor.
"Khushiji who are you talking to?" His voice startled her.
"I-I-I-...You were in the outhouse?" She questioned. Unease evident on her face and in her voice.
"I thought I would come and give my favourite Saalisahiba company." She wanted nothing more than to whack him over the head. To make him sit down and watch Akash and see how a real brother-in-law is suppose to behave. "What's the matter Khushi ji? You look tense. I was only going to ask if you wanted to play a game of cards." He asked innocently. She was scared of refusing him her company for the second time this evening and how that may offend him and affect Anjali. On the other hand she was just scared to give him company. And then Devi Maya answered her prayers as the sound of Anjali and Nani with Akash filled the hallway of the mansion.
"Looks like Di is home, we should ask her if she would like to join us." Taking her chance to escape Khushi sped walked down the stairs.

"Khushi madam, what trouble have you caused today>" Akash teased. She was grateful that her sister had such a wonderful man apart of her life. She went and hugged him. "Woah there." He said steadying them both.
"Thank you Jiju." She said with a big bright smile whilst stepping away.
"Whatever for?" Akash questioned.
"For being you."
Anjali handed prashad to Khushi and then hurried over to her husband was making his way down stairs.
"Rani Sahiba I have an important meeting I must leave." He said with an apologetic smile.
"This is not fair. I just got home." Anjali pouted.
"Please understand that I don't like the thought of leaving you either, I wouldn't be going had it not been important ." Khushi didn't know what to think. Only seconds ago he was happy to play cards with her and now he had to go to a meeting. And that to this late?

"Oh fiddle sticks! I have to wake him up!" Khushi rushed back upstairs she knocked on the door but there was no answer. Assuming he was still asleep she walked in. She was not late as usual he had just been early. She heard the force of the shower from the bathroom. She stepped out onto the poolside, breathing a moment of clarity. She didn't want to go back downstairs and see Shyam lying to Anjali. Or maybe she was reading too much into it. A sudden gust of wind caused her hair to swirl around her head and on her face. Battling with nature she tried to move the hair from her face, accidently poking herself in the eye. "Ouch! Bloody hell."She stumbled back into his room rubbing her sore eye when she knocked into something hard and damp.

"Yawning again are we?" He asked. She could hardly see him through her watery eyes but she could hear the smile in his voice.
"It's not funny...I poked myself in the eye." He sighed knowing on she would be capable of such things.
"You should literally be wrapped in cotton wool. Always tripping, falling...poking yourself in the eye...Here let me have a look." He gently pulled her hand away from her eye and lightly opened it. It was blood shot red with tears streaming down her cheek. Not letting go of her hand he walked to his cupboard and took out a hand towel and gathered it into a ball. He placed it on his mouth and breathed on to it a couple of times before applying the towel to her eye. The warmth of the towel instantly gave Khushi relief from the throbbing pain. She liked the way his hand caressed her cheek as he tried to sooth the ache. She knew he had to have a caring side given Anjali's condition but she didn't expect to see it. He removed the towel and opened her eye again to have a look. He gently blew onto it, lightly rubbing away the moister around her eye.
"My mum always used to do this when I use to hurt myself." He sounded as though he was thinking out loud not intending or her to hear. "Better?" He asked still holding her face in his hand. She merely nodded in response. He removed his hand pulled her close, shaking his wet hair in her face, splashing the water droplets on her face.
"Arnav." She giggled pushing him away. Her hands came into contact with his warm chest. She was stunned at just how warm he was. She expected him to be cold but under her hand and his hard chest she felt the booming of his heart. She jerked her hand away as it hit her that he was in just a towel.

"You're doing it again Gupta."
"Doing what?" A confused and mesmerised Khushi mumbled.
"Checking me out...I think we should do a still life painting session." His chuckle bought her back to her senses.
"Ok let's make this clear...You have no effect on me...in that department ok?" She said trying to level the pitch in her voice. His eyebrow raised and smirk appeared on his lip as he stalked towards her.
"Khushi, Khushi, Khushi." He said in his husky tone. 'Why does he have to say my name like that?' Khushi complained. "We have the rest of our lives to discuss the effects I do and do not have you." He stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers leaving a blazing red streak behind them. "But right now you have to tell me what's wrong. I can't stand not knowing what's going on inside your head." His eyes filled with anguish.
"Arnav, you have a conference in two hours and to be honest once I start talking I'll need more than two hours." She stepped away trying to breathe some air that was not laced with his scent. "I have a plan." She smiled as her eyes sparkled. Arnav rolled his eyes. "It's a good one. Tomorrow, after work come straight to mine. We can drink some wine, I'll cook us a nice meal..."
"Like you cooked the daal yesterday?" He asked.
"Tut! You sure know how to hold a grudge don't you... Just come over ok and I promise I'll answer all your questions. Just let it go for today, please." He saw the flicker of pain in her eyes before she hid it behind her smile. He nodded and she left wishing him good luck for the conference.

Arnav tried to focus on the preparations for the meeting. But in every file in sentence in every word he kept seeing the broken image of a broken Khushi. The girl who was always smiling, singing and dancing almost crumbled before his very eyes, before she gathered herself and wore the mask.

Delhi was scorching the next the day with temperatures being highest recorded for the month. Khushi had opened all the windows and doors to her apartment and was moping the floor with cold water in attempts to cool the place down.
"Sanka devi, I told you to let Shashi babua install air conditioners in here. But no, you wanted to pay for it yourself...Now suffer... Nandkisor!" Buaji had been complaining ever since Khushi had got back from work. She had gone to get the laundry bin from Khushi's room when she saw a white shirt folded on her rocking chair. "Khushi come here...Whose shirt is this?" She asked with suspicion.
"That's mine." Khushi said with a nervous grin snatching Arnav's shirt from her aunts hands.
"But this is a gents shirt...What are you doing with a gents shirt?"
"Uff ho buaji its fashion." She slipped her hands through the sleeves and rolled them up to her elbows. Then she grabbed the two ends and tied a not above her jeans. "See...it's rocking." she said playing the air guitar.
"You look like a clown."
"Tut buaji leave the laundry and go get changed, you have that pooja to go to today." Khushi ushered her aunt out of her room. But stopped and looked at herself in the mirror.

She undid the knot the on shirt. 'It does look good.' She pressed the collar of the shirt to her nose inhaling his scent. She wrapped her arms around herself imagining his embrace. She caught sight of herself in the reflection and burned a brilliant bright red as she giggled. 'What's wrong with me?' She thought. Was it the fact that they had become friends that had made being around him so comfortable so easy? 'Of course it is you fool ...What else could it be?' She asked rhetorically. 'Can't be...No not yet...Not this soon.' She thought. 'But I definitely...like him...a lot.' She admitted to herself, grinning like a mad woman.

***
Buaji had left telling her that she would be attending the jagraan and not returning and until early the next morning. Khushi prepared dinner for the evening and quickly went for a shower. She contemplated on what to wear. "Salwar or jeans? Maybe this dress?" She looked at the clock and saw that it was six thirty. She thought it would be pointless wasting any more time 'not like I he is going to notice.' She put on a pair of denim shorts and a white baggy T-Shirt. She was drying her hair when she heard a knock on the door.

"Do you think it's smart leaving your door open like this." It was more of statement than a question. But his voice sent butterflies a flight in her stomach. She couldn't hid the smile that appeared on her lips.
"Arnav." Beamed Khushi as he walked through the door. 'White shirt. Why did he have to wear a white shirt?' She skipped up to him holding herself back from throwing her arms around him "How have you been? How has your day been? And you took your medication right?" She asked bright eyed.
"I am ok, my day has been fine and for the 100^th time, yes I have taken my medicine." He was surprised with her casual look. It breathed the same freshness that Khushi bought into his life. But the sight of her creamy legs made it hard for him not to whisk her away in his arms. Her wet her fragranced the air around her beckoning him. "Why is so hot in here, turn the AC on." He ordered. 'Careful Khushi, its hot as it is don't say anything that will work him up more.' She thought. She got a bottle of cold water from the fridge and handed it to him.
"I don't have an AC." She said quietly.
"I'll have someone sent over tomorrow." As much as she wanted to, she didn't protest. He removed his jacket and waist coat and loosened the knot of his tie. "Talk." He ordered again before sitting down in what can now only be known as his sofa.
"Ah ah don't get to comfortable come on, get up. Grab the salad bowl and dish of garlic bread please, I've made lasagne. I hope that's ok? " She said as she removed a dish from the oven and covered it with foil.
"How did you know that Italian is my favourite?" Asked Arnav as he gathered the items.
"I didn't." she shrugged. "I made it because Italians my favourite, yum." She placed plates and cutlery into a small willow basket and slung it onto her arm. "This way," she said leading out of the apartment.

"Gupta where are we going?" Arnav asked slightly irritated.
"Surprise." She sang in an opera voice. They took the elevator to the top floor of the building. Arnav thought it was best to just play along and not ask any questions. hough the sight of Khushi closing her eyes shut tight and mumbling something under her breath was quiet entertaining. By the time they had reached the top floor Arnav had sweat beads trailing down from the side of his head. Khushi watched the droplets appear from his hair line and trace his face before teasing his jaw line and down his neck to disappear into his shirt.

"Where to now?" He asked in a tone that made it very obvious that he was not interested. Khushi led him to door at the end of the corridor.
"Khushi, it says no unauthorised access." Arnav pointed to the sign on the door. Khushi dug into her pocket and pull out a key. "Where did you get that from?" He asked. She opened the door which revealed a set of stairs. She jogged up and opened another door before vanishing. "Khushi!" he called after her before following her up the stairs.
"Shhh Stop shouting close the door." Khushi whispered loudly.

The sun was setting on a bustling city, the sky alive with vivid shades of pinks, oranges, reds and a hint of purple. He felt the slight evening cool breeze drift across the place. In the centre of the rooftop were two bean bags and a crate in between them which had been turned upside down. Khushi began to lay out the cutlery onto the crate and then unwrap the lasagne. "The view is amazing." She said. "Why are you standing way over there? Come here." She gestured towards the bean bag opposite her. He walked over and placed the bowl of salad and the dish full of garlic bread on the crate.
"So we left the comfort of your apartment, to come up here, and sit on beanbags?" He said sceptically.
"Look I have only ever had one other friend up here so feel privileged. Besides you wouldn't find this view or this breeze or this sense of being free in my small flat. Ooh I will be back in two seconds." She smirked. Arnav noticed the glint of mischief in her eyes as she got up and ran up to a corner and lifted a piece of material to reveal a blue ice box. She grabbed one handle and dragged it over to where they were sitting. "I come bearing gifts." She said in a manly voice. She sat down and opened the box for Arnav to see that is was full of ice, and beer.
"What the-?" He was shocked, surprised and amused. Khushi giggled.
"I bet you didn't see that one coming." She wiggled her eyebrows at him before taking a bottle and opening it with her teeth and passing it to him. Khushi had a knack of surprising Arnav, something which he had come to terms with. "It's too hot to drink wine." She took a sip out of her own bottle. "When I went to study in Mumbai, I drank a lot of beer. I had a lot of parties. I miss it sometimes. Just being able to be free, doing what you want when you want without answering to anyone. You know?" Arnav didn't mind that she drank or that she use to party. What bugged him was the edge of sadness in her voice as she spoke of happier times.

"Khushi you have to talk to me." He pleaded.
"The food is already going cold. Let's eat first." She smiled.
"Stop it. Stop doing that." He snapped.
"Doing what?" His tone confusing Khushi.
"That, smiling like there nothing is wrong. You may have been able to fool others with it but don't think you can run it past me and get away with it. I don't want to eat and I don't want to drink not until you have told me what the matter is. Otherwise I am leaving.
"No don't go." She quickly protested. She started to fiddle with her top. "You asked me how did I get the keys to the rooftop...Dad owns the building." She said quietly.
"Wait, if Shashi uncle owns the building why do you pay rent.?" A baffled Arnav asked.
"When I told him about moving to Delhi I also told him that I wanted my own place, something that I paid for with my own earnings. If it was left to him he would have bought me a 6 bedroom house with three bathrooms." Arnav listened intently. "The only reason I am in a 2.5 bedroom flat and not a one bedroom flat is because of my art and buaji. So you were right, when you said despite who you are you still allow people like me in your life, you were right." Alarm bells went off in Arnav's head.
"Wait, no, Khushi...I, myself didn't know what I meant by that, I don't even know why I said it?"
"I did. You had everything taken away from you and you had to become a slave to your trade to get to where you are now. You were right I could never walk a mile in your shoes...And now, here you are tied to someone who had it all handed to them on a silver platter only for her to then discard it." She took a large swig from her bottle. "It's just a phase Shashi, you know the kids these days and their claim to independence. She will get over it." She put on a squeaky voice imitating someone. "But it's not like that."
"Khushi you don't have to explain."

"Of course I have to explain Arnav. You have decided to spend the rest of your life with me. I was accusing you of shutting me out but then when have I truly ever let you in?" He could see her pushing back the tears. "You have to know what you are dealing with." She sniffed. Arnav didn't want her to continue but then thought that if she did, and he was able to find out what was causing her this pain, then maybe he could put an end to it. "For the first ten years of my life I lived a very simple life. I watched my parents struggle to pay the bills; I knew the fear of not having a roof over our heads. But that was our life and we made it work and we were happy... One day Babuji gets a big catering order thanks to dad. Umaa and Babuji always wanted to go to Mumbai and now they finally had the chance. This order would change our lives and it did. The clients arranged for air flights for travel. Babuji promised he would be back in a couple of days...that flight never landed in Mumbai. I waited for weeks for them to come back...I held on to the promise. I still do." She got up and walked towards the brick wall at the edge of the roof top. Tears were now flowing but she wiped them away.

"Mum and dad took me in without a second thought. Any mention of my adoption was forbidden. I was never treated any different to Jiji, my wish was and still is their command. I can say proudly that Shashi Gupta is my father. But I know who I am, where I have come from. I am the daughter of a haalwai." Arnav had followed Khushi so that he was standing next to her as she looked up gazing at the stars. He placed his hand on her shoulder.
"Khushi, I ... you don't have to talk about this I was wrong to push you."
"It's ok Arnav, I wanted to share this with you. If tomorrow someone says to you that you are married to a haalwai's daughter I don't want you to be shocked at hearing that. Obviously the guy would have to be an utter fool to challenge you...The truth is having a share in Gupta industries is not my birth right nor have I earned it. How can I ignore the facts and continue living the highlife? I don't take what I have for granted, I know the importance of my family and the love they give me." She sighed before finishing off the bottle.

"I have wanted to tell you this for soo long." The respect Arnav had for Khushi increased ten folds. She held just as much pain as he did yet day in and day out she made sure she was happy. That she was able to make others happy, even if it meant wearing a mask of pretence. He watched a relief washed over her features and then suddenly they were hit by pain again. He held her shoulders and turned her around to face him.
"Khushi?"
"Yesterday, when you...I couldn't help but think the worst...That maybe I am cursed, that I don't deserve you-." He pulled her in for her hug and held her as tight as possible without hurting her.
"Shhh. Don't ever say that. " He said trying to hold back his tears.
"Arnav...I can't lose you." She whispered. The devastation in her voice was enough to make him coil in pain. He took her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. He needed her to see the depth of his emotions when he said to her what he hadn't yet admitted to himself.
"Khushi Kumari Gupta, to say that you are an important part of my life would be an understatement. Leaving you is no longer an option for me."

The world could be ending around them for all they cared. They stood holding on to the only world that now mattered to them. It was not a confession of love or a declaration of passion. It was admittance of one soul to another that they were now tied in a bond that they could not yet name.