Rikaara FF: Lost & Found (completed) index pg 1 - Page 17

"aap humse aise kyun maang rahein hai..? She can fight with words but not with request.

"Tumse nahi maangoon to aur kisse mangoon? You are my everthing

Gauri couldn't take anymore.. "aap please aise baatein mat kkijiye She pushed his hands and tried to get up

"Sach hi to keh raha hoon

"kya sach..aap bole nafrat shuru aur aap bole to pyaar bhi shuru.. Meri koi jazbbat nahi hai??

"Hain.. Jisse main bahut tez pahuncha hoon.. Par agar tum mujhe aise hi nazar se dekhegi.. to pata kaisa chalegi tumhe ki, main badal gaya hoon.. Main tumhe bahut pyaar karta hoon, gauri.. Tum meri pehli waali Gauri nahi ho, pata hai mujhe.. Maine apni galti se meri pehli waali Gauri ko miss kardiya.. Yeh saza to jhelna hai mujhe.. Omkaara was sounding remorseful.

"Omkaara ji.. Main aapki umeed nahi badana chahthi hoon.. Maine ek saal mein poori zindagi kho diya.. Bas bachi kuch cheezon ke saath, main aage ki zindagi jeena chahthi hoon..

"Aur ussi zindagi mein, main tumhaari saath dena chahtha hoon.. Pata hai.. mujhe.. tumhaari zindagi mein kitna kuch khoyi ho.. par ab main hoon Gauri tumhaari liye. I promise tumhe wo har khushi wapas doonga

"Main umeed naahi rakhna chahthi hoon ya dena chahthi hoon.. Please mujhe ab jaane dijiye.. She was suddenly feeling suffocated by all this love.. She wasn't used to all this, all these days. She went to the washroom and locked herself up. Why does he have to do this.. When it comes to showing hatred or love, he is blowing her out of her balance. Either he is too much hating her or he is too much in love with her. Gauri was caught within this extremities of his persona and her head was spinning. When she was done with hatred, now he is trying to blow her life out of balance with all this lovey dovey eyes and talks. She closed her eyes.. That voice of his.. She opened the eyes with a startled expression. No she can't lose herself again in this voice. She can't bear to undergo the turmoil she already went through.. Not again..

She is strong enough to resist him at present but was not sure how to resist him if it becomes a daily affair. Now he wants her in his arms for 5 minutes everyday. He is not even shying away from asking such open demand. She was scolding herself for not shutting this request down. She was not sure how she will manage to stand like stone when he is melting in her. Again her life has been revolving around this man's world. Hey Sankarji, aap baar baar mujhe isske saamne phek kyun dete hai..? She was scolding her sankar jee in her heart.

Omkaara on the other hand, was sitting in the bed thinking. Did she feel that he is asking too much and that he is trying to take advantage of her being here? He did promise her with all the might in Shimla. But when she is here roaming in his own room, as his own wife, his promise was fading out. His dormant feelings have become suddenly very active, and he wants more. When he himself is struggling to get to terms with her, she is adamant on working with that Rishabh. Omkaara felt disgusting about thinking another man looking at his wife with the longing that was supposed be only his. She is his. She may be angry at him, that doesn't change the fact that only he has all this rights on her. He decided to wait and watch regarding this issue.

Gauri came out of the washroom with a calm and plain face.

Next day...

Omkaara was driving Gauri to work. He was thoughtful and din't like the idea of her going to work under this man. He was silent all through the way. When the destination arrived, he just wanted to remind her that she should not given up on him, not yet.

"Gauri. Agar tumhe kisi bhi cheez ki zaroorat ho.. mujhe bata dena.. Teek hai? Tum meri biwi ho aur main tumhaara hoon. Tumhaari har wish poori karna meri zimmadhari hain.. Teek hain..

Gauri was wondering why all of a sudden he is talking like this here. She turned to look at the factory and something hit her. Oh.. Ok.. So Mr. Omkaara singh oberoi ko jalan ho rahi hain? Even though she was maintaining her plain face.. She couldn't control her laughter at that particular moment. He will find out if she laughs. She turned her face and was controlling her laughter. Rishabh called at this timely moment. Gauri picked up his call.

"Haan Rishabh ji.. kahiye..

"Haan main aagayi. Andar aane wali hoon.. Kya security ke paas meri temporary id hain.. thank you.. main le lethi hoon Rishab ji..

"Itna enquiry kyun kartha hai.. ek employee ke liye itna concern.. Maine isse pehle nahi dekha hai aise MD.. Omkaara sounded sarcastic.

"Wahi to.. Rishabh sir apni papa ki tharah..

"Bas karo.. yeh Rishab aur uski papa ki gungaan.. Aur phone karte rehna.. teek hai

Omkaara was behaving like a perfect husband. He took care of her small needs and was trying to talk to her about the day's happenings to ease her out of the uncomfortable zone. She was still not opening up fully, but Gauri can't avoid the casual talks. She tried to be normal during those talks but often she would feel him glancing at her and when she turns he would quickly pull away his glance. He did ask her proximity 5 minutes everyday, since she didn't respond to it in any manner, he kind of brushed it aside. Atleast she thought he had.

It was a very sultry day and Gauri wanted to take a bath after returning from work. She washed her hair and was drying it when she felt a piercing feeling. It was her husband who was again into his staring sessions. She was quite used to it by now, and she was continuing to wipe her wet hair. Her phone rang.

It was almost 8 in the evening and Gauri went to pick up the phone. It was Rishabh. She was surprised that he was calling her this late in the evening.

"Rishabh sir, kahiye

He asked her some last minute details since an audit was planned early next morning. He asked her to present early the next day during the audit. They just had general conversation and he had disconnected the call.

Omkaara's irritation skyrocketed. Why does this guy keep calling her as if she is the only employee in the entire unit.

Gauri cut the call and was telling to Omkaara "Mujhe kal subha jaldi jaana hai.. Factory mein audit hain. Rishabh sir ne kaha main jaldi aaon

"Ek baat batoao.. uski paas auditor hain na..?

"Haan hain

"Phir tumhe itni jaldi jaan ne ki kya zaroorat hai?

Gauri was surprised at the irritation in his tone. Did he just get started again? When he threw her as garbage, it was Jeet sir's family which gave her work and daily bread. Why does he have to misunderstand gratefulness again? Gauri got irritated now.

"Logon ko galat samajhna aapki aadat hai.. aap aadat kaise badal sakthe hain?

"ab kisko main galat samajh raha hoon?

"Mujhe nahi apnea apse poochiye

"Main kuch galat nahi samaj raha hoon.. Main bas samajhne ki koshish kar raha hoon ki shayaad wo tum par zaroorat se zyaada interest to nahi dikha raha?

"Nahi dikha rahe hain.. ye aapki vehem hain. Sirf aapko lagta hain aisa.. mujhe nahi lagta

"Haan pata hain.. tumhe kuch nahi lagta. Nafrat jo karthi ho mujhse..

"Maine kab kaha aisa?

"Kehne ki zarrorat bhi hai. Mujhe dekhte hi bhaagne lag jathi ho.. Mein paas aata hoon to aise behave karti ho ki mere nazdeekiyan tumhe bahut taqleef deti hain.. To yeh sab kya pyaar ki wajah se kar rahi ho?

Gauri lost her cool.. "Mujhe naa.. yahan dum ghoot raha hai. Ab maine kya kardiya aap itna gussa ho rahe hain..? Aap meri baat ek baar khaan kholke sun lijiye.. Main aap jaise nahi hoon.. Mujhe nafrat karna nahi aata. Main kisi bhi insaan ko taqleef mein nahi dek sakthi hoon. Main bachpan se aisa hi hoon. Haan, aapne jo kuch bhi kiya, mujhe pasand nahi thi.. isliye maine apni rahon pe zindagi chala rahi thi. Isme aapki kya problem hai? Aap mujhe door bhi nahi rehne dete. Aur paas rakhke bhi samajthe nahi hai ki main hai kaisi..Logon ko taqleef dena, usse daatna, saazish karna, nafrat karna yeh sab ki aadat nahi hai mujhe.. main aapko pehli bhi bata chuki thi, main umeed dena nahi chahthi hoon. Phir bhi aapki pareshaani ho rahi hai? Akhir aapki problem kya hai..?

Omkaara felt guilty for getting angry at her once again. But she isn't understanding the core problem. He gets mad when he sees her talking to this man. Why doesn't she understand that he wants her full attention on him. It's kind of selfish on him to think like that when he should be thinking on how to give her all happiness. But this one thing he can't give her. He can't let her think that he is better compared to him.

"Mere sirf ek problem hai.. Mujhe mera Gauri chahiye. Bas har haal mein. Main tumhe, zindagi ki saari khushi dena chahta hoon. Par tum kisi bhi cheez lene ke liye tayyar nahi ho. phool detha hoon, to drawer pe rakhe chali jaathi ho, Maine 1 ghante design karke tumhaare liye wo jewellery banwakar lekar aaya tha us din, tum ek baar bhi nahi pehni.. Pehenna to door ki baat, tum ache se dekhi hi nahi. Kal ka din yaad hai.. Accidentally main slip hoke tumhe pakad raha tha. Tum to aise react kar rahi thi, jaise ki tumhe ganddhi feeling aati hai mere choone se.. tum keh rahi ho tumhe nafrat karna nahi aati hai, par yeh sab nafrat ki wajah se hi kar rahi ho tum

"Main phirse keh rahi hoon.. mujhe koi nafrat nahi.. bas chot hain..

"Nafrat nahi, to kya sazaa deh rahi ho..? Aise mujhe ignore karke?

"Main aapki biwi banke reh rahi hoon, main kyun aur kaise ignore karoongi aapko?

"Ignore hi to kar rahi ho. Aise chalthi firthi ho, ki main tumhaare liye exist hi nahi karta. Jab Shimla main tum keh rahi thi apni sharthein, mujhe laga tha tumhaari chot ko main deere deere teek kar saktha hoon. Par mujhe nahi lag raha, ab ye possible hain. Tum iss shaadi main nahi rehna chahthi ho naa? Main zabardasthi tumhe apne saath bandhkar rakh raha hoon naa..? Tum doosri mauka nahi dena chahthi ho naa?

"Agar aisi baat hai, main wapas kyun aaongi aapki saath? Main bhi iss rishthe ko ek aur mauka dena chahthi hoon. Par meri dil mein jo chot hain, ab tak teek nahi hua. Main wo saari baatein bhool jaoongi tabi to doosri mauka deh sakthi hoon na..? Mujhe toda aur waqt chahiye..

"Waqt.. Please mujhe bata do, aur kitni waqt lene wali ho? 1 mahina to waise bhi ho chukka hain, phir bhi mujhe ignore hi ignore kar rahi ho.. Parivaar waalon ko bhi ab shak hone laga. Main paas aatha hoon, tum bhagne main saare enery lagi jaathi ho..

"To kya aap ki bahon main rahoon Gauri's words slipped without her control

"Usme galat kya hai. Kya main tumhaara nahi hoon?

"..

"Kya hua. Tumhaari bolti fir bandh hogayi..

"Aap keh rahe the.. aap mujhe sochne ki waqt denge.. ghar aake soch lo.. wo sab.. Phir itna jalbaazi kyun kar rahe hain aap meri Vishay mein?

"Kyunki mujhe tumse door raha nahi jaa raha.. Omkaara's frustration peaked.

"Nafrat karo to meri paas raha nahi jaa raha.. Pyaar karo to mere bina raha nahi jaa raha.. Aap na mujhe pagal karke hi chodenge.. Gauri turned back. Her head was spinning. She is stuck in the whirlpool that he has been spinning from the beginning. When she wants him, he turns his back. When she turns her back, he wants her like anything. Why aren't they in the same page from the beginning? She was too tired to argue also now.

Omkaara was brimming with frustration. Frustration that she is ignoring him royally, frustration that she is not letting him in, Frustration that he is not even able to express his love properly since she is drawing inside everytime he is trying to do something to please her. He clutched his head and turned aside.

No he must think and do something to ease the situation. May be all this family environment is too overwhelming for both of them. May be if both of them were off to some place for one or 2 days it would be better.

"Gauri..

"hmm..

"I feel ki it will be better that we are out of this environment for 1 or 2 days and take time off alone. Hum sort out kar sakthe hain.. I know a beautiful resort in the city outskirts. Hum wahan 2 din rahenge.. toda time out chahiye in sab se.. kya khayal hai tumhaari?

2 din in a resort..Gauri was thinking if she is ready for a 24/7 whirlpool attention. Par how to refuse this. If she refuses, he will again conclude that she is too stubborn and doesnot want this marriage to work. Also she needs a break from this monotonous environment .

"Teek hain, chalthe hain

Omkaara's face brightened up. "Teek hain, main bookings arrange kartha hoon. Aaj raat niklange..

<to be cont>