ArHi: Starlight and Moonshine: #16, Pg 54, 29 July - Page 29

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barsha_dash thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
What a brilliantly written chapter!
I don't want to comment much because I won't be able to describe what I felt. In fact quoting any part would be very difficult.

kiran1992 thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
Read all the chapters in one go...
Wow...Brilliant...
You are so good with words...
How do you come up with these concepts?Loved it...

greenteaholic thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

14: Chitra: The bright one

She is tired. She feels it in the marrow of her bones, in the way her knees tremble while climbing the stairs and every time a young woman's laughter reaches her ears making guilt bubble from the crevices of her skin. She waits, patiently expectantly hoping for a day when her past could be, well, faced directly.

"You are smiling ma," he says walking inside her room. The elderly woman smiles at her son.

"Do you want to go home?" She asks, standing up. She flicks invisible flint from her impeccable business suit. She has always been a classy woman. Minus her taste in men, her son thinks wryly.

He watches his mother spray an expensive perfume around her. He had come to associate the fragrance as mom', lethal' and vaguely nostalgia. "To the lake house?" He wonders out loud.

She shakes her head. "No. Home." She emphasizes for effect.

He freezes. "Can we really?" He whispers. The words sounded like benediction. He waits for his mother to confirm.

Her smile is predatory. It sings for blood, vengeance and revenge. She can see the same wild look in her son's eyes. Yes, it was time. "Make contact and start planning. Use my personal account for expenses."

He nods his head in agreement. He has already made plans. He has been planning for this trip for more than a year and has laid out a web back home. Finally, finally, he would get to go home. To his family, to his roots.

"You are very quiet," his mother observes when she doesn't get a verbal acknowledgment from him. "Do I need to make an appointment with Dr. Thomas this week?"

He falters at his mother's piercing gaze. "It would be wise." He says softly. While many misread his gentleness to timidity, his mother saw his struggle to contain the violence that his mind spun every single moment. She took him to her bosom, sang lullabies and got the best help her money could buy. It was nowhere near enough but it had to do.

"Hey, it's okay." She runs her well-manicured hands in his hair and massages his scalp gently. He closes his eyes and sighs in defeat. The blood in his veins calms down from the storm of emotion bursting through his sub consciousness.

"Thanks ma." He sighs in relief as his knees hit the ground. He presses his face to his mother's stomach and breathes in.

"Come back to me son." He hears her say above him, a distant voice during thunderstorm. The voice starts singing a lullaby from his childhood before the monster destroyed it all. He takes deep breaths, forcing his mind to latch on to singing voice and concentrate on the warm hands on his neck and hair.

"I am fine," he replies hoarsely, submitting to his mother's pull from the dark crevices of his own mind. "I here. Sorry ma," he apologizes.

His mother drops to her knees and holds his face between her palms. "Never apologize. You hear me? Never." There is vehemence in her voice. There is protection.

She holds her son close and a longing pang runs through her spine for the child she couldn't love as she loved her son.

A nervous hope, a fluttering longing and an old abandoned dream surface and fight for air. Her hearts hammer in her chest as memories flood her brain and her son clutches her hard.

They were going home.

vgedin thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Yay!
~Edit~

There is little I can say to match what Meera has just expressed so beautifully - but I will say this - I have rarely felt such fear and empathy at the same time before. Fear of the unknown - because of the violence that bubbles inside a boy and what feels like an impending storm.

Empathy for a mother who made some choices that cannot be easy for anyone to live with. That coupled with a child who is constantly battling his own instincts. Sigh.

My guess is this is Chaya. Now lets see what else the Mata has up her sleeve 😊
Edited by vgedin - 9 years ago
meera30 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
This piece is designed to evoke most of of the Rasas isn't it?

- Beauty with her perfectly manicured nails, impeccable business suit, the classy mother
- Compassion with a half manic son resting against his mother's stomach - her helplessness at her inability to love another child like she loves him
- Fury and Disgust with the words and smiles of blood and vengeance and webs laid out back home
- Horror so gently referenced by the timidness that in fact hides violence of murderous proportion
- Courage of plans to return home where presumable they are not welcome, have had to fight (evidently or sneakily as it may have been) for
- Peace even if ridden with guilt and hidden trouble - a sense that pervades through the meeting of this mother and son

I almost missed Wonder and Laughter. I wondering if my expectation of seeing them play here might be misplaced? no not at all

Wonder is all me
Laughter - all you as you spin the tale and watch us enjoy falling deeper into the maze

Stellar writing. If possible almost as good as the last chapter and that is saying something!

PS: There is also Devotion. But I am trying to not be a creep here :P
Edited by meera30 - 9 years ago
greenteaholic thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: meera30

This piece is designed to evoke most of of the Rasas isn't it?



I hadn't intend it to be this way. The two of them are a lot of things and I crammed much in this update :)
Lily30 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Loved part 14👏
Who is the lady with her son, very mysterious, eager for the next part.
Thank you for the pm😃
Dot_n_Line thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
WOW.
Atleast the issue is well recognized, acknowledged, and treatment isn't refused. He is insecure and fears his own tendencies / capabilities and seems to prefer having it all planned out - to strike first and hard? His aggression is a countermeasure to past fears and insecurities??

More turbulence there is inside, more still you are on the surface, more violent the outburst can be.




Kishmish thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
This chapter was something else RB ... have to read it again ...
Viji79 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Chaya...has another child.
And the child has some violent streaks...and chaya is aware and endorses

And going by history, the son is likely to be Akash.

And I shut my mouth.

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