ArHi: Starlight and Moonshine: #16, Pg 54, 29 July - Page 20

Originally posted by: -Loki-

And sometimes, victory comes at so great a cost that it is close to failure.

I say, what's the point in depending completely on validation from others, especially when it is proven that people you are seeking it from are fickle. As it is, there are way too many opinions, too many perspectives, too many different ideals and by making external validation your salve there's little or no control over emotional stability in this extreme vacillation - adored one day, ignored the next.

Is it worth changing oneself to stay relevant? To whom? For What? How long?

Shouldn't we try to balance this with self-validation? Doing our own thing. Celebrate yourself.

We cannot live in that kind of isolation - at least not all of us can. Validation is necessary for personal growth, to learn, to understand society better and evolve as a better human being. Validation simply doesn't mean "hey you did your job great". It means "I saw what you did there. here is my problem with it" This kind of acknowledgment and peer validation goes long way in a person's life.

Do I have to be relevant? I will not be able to do my job if I don't keep up with technology. I will not be relevant to my friends if I don't involve in their lives a little. Its a two way street. Arnav and Khushi here are lamenting about the one way relationships they seem to have with the society.

Originally posted by: greenteaholic

We will always be relevant to those who matter.

Your critiquing is fantastic. If I and everyone else on this thread were to plainly ignore you and just don't care for the words you've got to say, you find yourself questioning your: language, technique, thought process etc. Assume this in a larger real world context. Its more complex and the impact is even more powerful.

We need validation for our presence wherever we are. Of course my parents care. Of course my best friend cares. But they don't exist in this environment that I am in. Validation from peers is what one expects for relevance.

It was exploring validation and relevance in a world that is set outside our comfort zones that doesn't involve the people we live with or have relationships with.

Thanks!

Originally posted by: greenteaholic

We cannot live in that kind of isolation - at least not all of us can. Validation is necessary for personal growth, to learn, to understand society better and evolve as a better human being. Validation simply doesn't mean "hey you did your job great". It means "I saw what you did there. here is my problem with it" This kind of acknowledgment and peer validation goes long way in a person's life.

Do I have to be relevant? I will not be able to do my job if I don't keep up with technology. I will not be relevant to my friends if I don't involve in their lives a little. Its a two way street. Arnav and Khushi here are lamenting about the one way relationships they seem to have with the society.

Originally posted by: -Loki-

We most definitely do not live on individual islands. Agreed.

We need to keep up with rapidly changing times. Agreed. We ought to give and take. Agreed.

But, do we want to stay relevant by just making popular (easy) decisions? Should we feign failure or downplay capabilities to stay relevant with peers? Or be relevant by complying / conforming to a powerhouse or a majority at the expense of compromising on one's values? What happens to YOU in this process of trying to stay relevant?

@bold: I change. I may not always comply or conform. But I do try to understand the world a little bit better. There are no absolute values in this world. If I want to get rid of biases and bigotry, by listening. Also, relevance doesn't always mean popular or easy decisions though I do agree there is a great deal of negative connotation attached to it.

Originally posted by: Nivedita137

Ah, a light I wasn't seeing it in, until now. (Perhaps the light it is meant to be seen in)

Thanks for that! :)

Then again, your words put thoughts that had me steering in another direction.

Feel free to skip this entirely if you wish; this is just me - rambling.

Yes, we seek validation outside the world in which we matter.

Like or Hate - if those tags are attached to you, that's proof enough for relevance, isn't it? What we can't tolerate is indifference or complete ignorance. To peel that label away, we change. A change, may be in small or big ways. It changes what you are and what you will be tomorrow.

Change that improves you, may not be subject to as much introspection as one, where you look into a mirror and find that the person staring back, isn't you. A person you don't like.

What happens when you lose yourself, whole or part, as a result of that change? Is it easy to find your old self back?

And the conversion continues in my head. Food platter of thought now as I wait for the next one. Thanks! :)

Like or Hate is two broadest classifications. There are many more things in between.

What if my old self was racist? What if my old self had no knowledge of the world?

09: Ashlesha: The embracer

"Unsurprisingly the victims had their names changed after moving back here." Satya talks as he walks into the lab, Arnav in tow. "Can we ever get an open and shut case for once please?" He asks, looking up at the invisible God who decidedly stays out of Satya's way.

Khushi watches the two men comfortably walking around the lab. Satya flops on what he calls his favorite chair and opens a very large bag of chips. "You two do know that this is my actual work place and not a place you can hang out."

Satya's mature response is to cram a handful of chips into his mouth and chew loudly. "He got yelled at by DCP. He is feeling a combination of sadness, irritation, annoyance and disgust for lot of people. So here we are." Satya answers with muffled words and jabbing his thumb in Arnav's direction.

"Why are you eating chips in my lab? We get bodies and samples with contagious diseases, you know?" She replies ignoring Satya's not-so-subtle insinuation.

Satya waves his hand. "Dr. Venkat gave us a lot of shots. Since we are two very dedicated police officers who actually visit the lab themselves instead of ordering around like the rest of our department."

Khushi rolls her eyes. "You come here to steal my food and drinks, work in a quiet place and watch movies on my laptop."

Satya crams more chips into his mouth.

"Children." Arnav finally speaks. A hint of smile has taken off some edge but the tension still remains in his shoulders. "Khushi, you hate us being here so much and that's why there is now a two-seat sofa in your lab, huh?"

"Whatever." Khushi grumbles. She goes back to labelling test tubes and finishing her report. "Who are the victims then?" She asks after few moments of stretched silence filled only with crunching sound made by Satya's chewing.

"They migrated to the west almost thirty years ago. They lived in the same city but have different addresses. Mrs. Inder has a son who has been missing for half a decade." Arnav answers.

"What about Mr. Chandra? No family back in the West?" Khushi asks.

"Our embassy found a lot of inconsistent reports on Mr. Chandra. He was off the grid for few years and he resurfaced couple of years before he migrated back. I am still getting bits and pieces of information." Arnav rubs his forehead.

"Bureaucratic problems?" Khushi asks, sympathetically.

Arnav nods in response while Satya lets out a string of curses under his breath. "Information is coming in slowly because this isn't the top priority."

"Murder isn't top priority?" Khushi's voice holds judgment.

"Murder of two ordinary people isn't high priority." Satya snarls. "It's been three weeks since Payal gave us directions. We are still stuck in some age old paper work problem instead of, you know, getting off their asses, picking up the phone and make a f**king call."

"Satya." Arnav puts order when he says the name.

"I am buying more. Either of you want something to eat?" Satya asks Khushi and Arnav.

"I could eat. Whatever you choose is fine." Arnav says softly. Khushi echoes him.

The lab falls quiet after Satya's departure. "Satya is one of the most capable officers in his cadre. He is intelligent, street smart and has crazy talent in pursuing things."

"He lacks diplomacy though," Khushi elaborates. "He'll get there one day." The confidence in her voice makes Arnav's lips curve in a smile.

"Did you ask your mother?" Arnav asks, picking up the old conversation thread. "Does she remember seeing Mrs. Inder?"

"She says it's a familiar face but doesn't know the name. She said she remembers seeing Mrs. Inder with my mom." Khushi replies. At Arnav's confused look she adds, "Garima and Shashi are Payal's parents. My mom was Shashi's cousin. They don't know who my dad is or was. They adopted me when I was a baby after my mother died."

"What is it?" He asks seeing Khushi frown.

"My parents knew my mom and my dad grew up with her. Yet they don't seem to have any evidence of collective memories. My dad has photos of his childhood and there isn't a single one with my mom in it. There is absolutely no physical evidence that my mom existed except in my DNA."

Arnav looks thoughtful. "It isn't outside the realm of possibility Khushi. Adoptive parents try to shield their child from getting hurt. And after meeting your parents several times, I doubt they had any ulterior motive."

Khushi's face is expressionless. In that moment he sees the detachment she is exercising to see her own life as an observer. "I don't think they have any malcontent towards me Arnav. They love me as much as they love Payal and I them. This isn't about love and affection. This is about the truth. They aren't shielding me from the pain of my mom's passing. I think they don't want me to find more about mom."

Arnav raises from the sofa. "What are you saying?"

Khushi shrugs. "I am not so sure anymore."

Res

Kahin mrs inder khushi ki maa to nahi

Is it okay to find romance in simple conversation and lowered walls? In the midst of a murder investigation, when existential dilemmas plague the protagonists? Ah - I have rarely felt this relieved to be the reader and not a story wheel cog