MaNan FF: The Forbidden Fruit (Chapter 26 on Page 82) (25/05/16) - Page 44

c h a p t e r t w e n t y

Manik didn't know for how long he waited, but he just didn't feel like going back. He was too preoccupied with his thoughts and Navya's words to process anything else. He had his hands on the steering wheel the whole time but his mind was elsewhere. He knew that what he was about to do was wrong in so many levels, but he just couldn't help it.

It's not right, the voice in his head kept on chanting but he tried desperately to shut down all such thoughts. He knew that the voice was right, but he didn't want to be right. He didn't want to risk his possible future happiness in such a way because he knew that Nandini made him happy, and that she could be his future. If that made him selfish, then he was fine with being selfish. At least that way, he would be happy.

But deep down, he knew that he wouldn't ever be happy unless he told her the truth. The guilt would always be there, eating him up, just like it was now. It would take away his peace and it would never, ever let him be happy and content. It didn't matter if her feelings towards him changed because every time he looked at her, he would curse himself for not telling her what she deserved to know. After changing both their lives in such a drastic manner, he knew that he owed it to her to tell her the whole truth; it was her right.

Manik didn't realize how long he sat there, lost in his own thoughts but he realized that it had been about an hour when the passenger door suddenly opened and upon looking, he found Nandini getting in the car. She looked a little tired, but not angry or anything of that sort. He didn't really care because after noticing her, his eyes didn't leave her for a moment. Nandini was completely unaware and clueless but when she didn't feel the car move, or hear him talk, she turned towards him to find him staring. His eyes held a certain longing, desperation, and guilt, which she found all the more peculiar. After some time, she finally decided to speak by asking him, "Are you okay?"

No, he wanted to tell her desperately, I'm not okay; I'm torn. If I tell you the truth, you might leave me just like everyone always has and I'll lose any chance I have left at being happy. If I hide it from you, I'll never be at peace and the guilt won't let me be happy, not even for a second. But he couldn't tell her any of that and knowing that fact sucked.

Instead, he simply said before starting the car, "Yeah, I'm good."

Nyonika raised her head when she heard the bedroom door creak open. Her lips curved into a smirk as soon as she saw his figure enter. She had been waiting for this moment for quite some time now, and she was glad that it was finally here.

Throwing his briefcase carelessly, the man started to walk towards the washroom, completely ignoring her existence. He stretched his arms as a result of the long and tiring business trip. At the moment, all he wanted to do was collapse on his bed.

"Welcome home, Mister Malhotra," Nyonika greeted him in a sickeningly sweet tone and they both knew it was an act. She was definitely up to something, but he could care less at that moment. He kept on walking to his destination, annoyed at his wife.

"Manik isn't home," she informed him, her smirk growing wider.

"Why should I care?" he yawned, and started to turn the door knob.

"He left forever," Nyonika finally said and the man stopped almost immediately. "Do you want to know why?"

The man registered the piece of information, clearly in shock. He was never fond of his son too much, but he hadn't expected the boy to leave his house at such a young age. After careful consideration which he always took while dealing with Nyonika, he simply said, "I'm interested."

With the growing smirk on her face, Nyonika started narrating the story she already had planned out earlier in her mind.

"I think it's going to rain today," Nandini said as she observed the sky from the windows, a smile on her face. "I have always liked the rain, you know," she told him.

Manik simply hummed as she said that, not paying much attention, and it was then that she realized that something was seriously wrong. She looked at him, furrowing her eyebrows, and tried to understand why he was acting so different today. Normally, he was really interested in whatever she said, because he always seemed like he wanted to get to know her more and more. Today, however, he didn't seem to care much, and the lack of attention was getting on her nerves. Clearly, she wasn't used to it at all.

"Are you alright?" she asked him after some time, and it was then that she looked up at her. She seemed a little disappointed, and for some odd reason, he didn't like that look on her face. He didn't want her to be disappointed with him.

He knew that he was slowly starting to realize why that is. He was figuring out the reason but he was afraid of the confrontation with his own self. He didn't want to admit it; it was too risky. He couldn't get attached to her after what he found out recently because now he knew that she would also leave him once she was done.

But Manik knew that it was far too late. She was constantly in his mind every day, every moment. She was invading all his senses and he knew that he couldn't let her go anymore. He didn't want to because he had grown to care about her, and that care was getting too much now. The thought of her leaving him like everyone else always had hurt him, and he didn't want it.

The realization struck, but it was what compelled him to smile at her and respond saying, "I'm fine."

Nandini, however, knew that he wasn't fine, and she would make sure she found out why.

c h a p t e r t w e n t y o n e

It had rained that day, but a bit too much. By the time it was evening, Nandini grew annoyed at the rain for the first time. It was constantly going on and it really didn't have any intention of stopping. By now, the light drizzle turned into a storm. The palm trees at the porch were constantly swaying and she felt the slightest bit of fear. The thunder stroke and she jumped slightly.

She had planned to go outside today, perhaps even dance in the rain, but after seeing the violent mood nature was in, that option was crossed out. She had to settle for just watching a movie indoors but surprisingly for her, she didn't seem to mind it that much. Earlier, being anywhere near Manik would annoy her but now, she guessed she was starting to enjoy his company.

She liked the way he gave her a lot of attention. He always seemed interested in whatever she said, no matter how boring it was to her, and that made her feel really nice. It made her feel... special. She liked that feeling.

"What do you want to watch?" Manik's voice caused her to turn as she saw him coming down the stairs, a few DVDs in his hand. "We don't have too many options here; just a few old movies."

"I'm fine with anything," she said, giving him a light smile, and she was surprised at the fact that she actually meant it. Lately, she was enjoying her time with Manik a lot and although it was a good feeling, she was a bit scared. She didn't want to trust him as of yet, but she could slowly feel herself do exactly that. After all that he'd done, she wasn't even sure if he deserved it anymore. She knew he was making many efforts and what made her frustrated was that they were actually working. She didn't want that, any of that. She wanted to keep on hating him but that just grew harder by each passing second.

She knew that she didn't hate him, but she didn't like him either. At least, she didn't want to. His past actions wouldn't stop replaying in her head. That was exactly why every time when she enjoyed his company or his words, she felt guilty inside. She didn't want that; she wasn't sure if he deserved it.

"I don't know," he said, making faces at the DVD covers, "I don't like any of these choices."

"I'm guessing you don't watch old movies much?" she asked.

"I rarely watch movies," he honestly answered, and she gaped at him immediately.

"Oh my God Manik, are you kidding me?" Nandini, being a big movie bluff, was clearly offended. "You don't watch movies? Geez, what do you even do the whole day? You don't even go to college ever."

"I sing," he answered out of habit and immediately he regretted it. Not many people knew about his passion for music. Only a few of his friends knew, and he liked to keep it that way. Not even his parents had a clue about it but that was because they were never interested in his life.

"You sing?" she asked him curiously, and he tried to cover it up somehow.

"Well, a little, not much. I usually just listen to music, you know. Um, how about this one?" he held up a random DVD but clearly, she wasn't convinced. However, seeing his nervousness, she decided to just let it go.

"If you don't like any of these, then we don't have to watch anything," she suggested, trying to put him at ease. Manik, however, got a little disappointed. He didn't really want to watch a movie for the movie itself, but he wanted to spend more time with Nandini. After what Navya had disclosed to him, he knew their time together was limited. He was happy with her, but his happiness would be short-lived.

"Then... what do we do?"

"We can talk," she cheerfully suggested as she made herself comfortable on the couch. Her chirpiness made him slightly curious, but he decided to accept it instead of pondering over it. After all, now he knew that she would also be leaving him soon.

"How long will it take to be done?" the man asked over the phone, his tone firm and straight to the point.

"By tomorrow morning, probably," the answer came from the other line, "or perhaps tonight."

Getting his answer, he simply hung up, while Nyonika stared at him, clearly pleased with herself. She knew that this was coming, and knowing that she had caused it gave her joy. As sick and twisted as it may be, but she liked having the control and power over other people. It didn't matter who it was; not even if it was her own son.

"You cut him off on the credit card?" she asked him, although she knew the answer. When he didn't answer, she simply said, "That's what he deserves for running off with that girl without even caring for our reputation even once."

"It's not nearly enough," Mister Malhotra said, and Nyonika was completely taken by surprise.

"What else do you want?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. She knew that she was capable of devious plans, but it turned out her husband was starting to learn as well.

"I know he always goes to that old beach house of ours, and I'm guessing he's staying there for now. If he is, then he can get arrested for trespassing."

Nyonika was bewildered. She never imagined her husband to go to this extent but now that he was planning to, she didn't know what to feel. It could've been joy, or perhaps jealousy. She had absolutely no clue.

"I'll make a report about this," was all he said before leaving the room, leaving his wife baffled.

"My parents had a love marriage, you know," Nandini told him with pride. For the past hour, they'd been talking constantly and it surprised him to see her in such a good mood. It was really unlike her, but he liked it. He liked this cheerful side of hers and he wanted to see more of it.

"That's really nice," he honestly said with a smile on his face.

"Thank you," she beamed, clearly very proud. "I think so too. They were madly in love and it always showed. My mama would always just... glow, you know? Whenever papa came home, her face would light up and I felt really, really happy. I would look at them and think that maybe someday, I want something like that for myself."

Although she was very happy, the story of her childhood was depressing Manik bit by bit. He envied it a little because he never had parents like that, and it took Nandini a while to notice. Once she did observe his silence and slightly upset expression, she just felt the need to give his hand a light squeeze. It shocked him for a while, but he was also happy and they both knew that.

"Did your parents never like you?" she slowly asked, not wanting to anger or upset him.

"I guess not," he honestly answered. "At least, they've never showed it, and how else am I supposed to know, really?"

Once Nandini heard those words, she felt a rush of sympathy towards him. She would admit that from whatever she heard, his life was quite depressing. She guessed she pitied him. Although her childhood was not exactly very comfortable, she was blessed with the immense love and affection from her adoptive parents. Their care for her never made her feel like she had anything missing in her life. And then there was Manik; someone who was deprived of love as a child, and most probably even now. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to not have someone who cares for you, someone who loves you. Love, itself, was such a powerful and a beautiful feeling that was capable of anything. The love one gets from their parents is supposed to be unconditional and the purest. However, she had come to realize very recently that it isn't true in the case of everyone.

That realization itself made her feel betrayed with the world. Love always gave one hope and lit up their world when in darkness. Not being able to cherish that feeling ever was a nightmare for her, and she thought that she would never want to be in Manik's place. He was unfortunate, and she sympathized with him, a bit too much. That was exactly what compelled her to take that next step.

She leaned in closer to him, letting her lips brush against his cheek as she gave a light peck on it. It happened so suddenly and she didn't exactly mean for it to. She was so engrossed in her thoughts and feeling so very terrible that she didn't realize what had happened. The depth of her feelings and her sympathy caused her to unknowingly kiss him on the cheek. Clearly, it wasn't something her brain had any idea of. Both of their eyes widened immediately as that was something neither of them were expecting.

Manik immediately turned his head to stare at her in pure and utter shock, and he certainly noticed the slight blush that found its way to her cheeks. She had been surprising him for the whole day and he wouldn't dare say that he didn't like it. In truth, he was completely taken aback, but the fact that she was much more comfortable with him now made him feel a whole lot better. He always wanted her to open up to him and try to trust him. He was glad that she was starting to, and it gave him hope that maybe, just maybe, she would change her mind and stay back. Maybe he was wrong about her; she wasn't like everyone else, she was different.

"What did you just do?" he asked once he processed her actions properly, still very much in shock.

"I'm so sorry," she quickly said, trying to retreat, "I didn't mean to. I don't know what I-"

He held her wrist then, keeping her in place, and that shut her up almost immediately. More than the touch, it was his gaze which held her captive. His intense gaze had her hypnotized and she felt like she couldn't move. Her breath got stuck in her throat and Nandini had absolutely no clue what took over her.

"Its fine," he said ever so slowly, which wasn't helping her feelings in any way, "I liked it."

Nandini couldn't exactly comprehend her state of mind. It was like she caught in a spell; his spell. All she could think of at that moment was his warm breath on hers and the way his voice sounded so deep, so husky, so intense. The proximity was driving her crazy and she didn't mind it one bit. She enjoyed it and that realization scared her. That was exactly why she didn't want to realize it because she knew that she had to stop. She noticed him eyeing her lips and she knew what he wanted, only because she wanted exactly the same thing. But she couldn't... she just couldn't.

I'm supposed to hate him, she thought to herself, but why couldn't she believe that? I do hate him, very much. I don't like him one bit. I despise his very existence. I don't want to be associated with him in any way. This is just... this means nothing. I'm just curious as to what it'd feel like. This means nothing.

She had to convince herself that what she was going to do next was just a result of her raging hormones. Anything other than that would simply be unacceptable. There couldn't be any feelings involved; she knew she couldn't afford that. Feelings were out of the question here. This was just a need, a desire, a thirst left incomplete. That was all it had to be, and it was all that she'd let it ever be.

Once she was satisfied with her decision, she, without any fear, was the first to lean in and touch his lips with her own. It was a quick, soft peck and as he started responding soon, it slowly turned into something much more. She felt their lips move together and it took some time for it to reach a rhythmic motion. His unspoken guidance helped her and she couldn't help but admit that she was feeling giddy inside. It was her first kiss ever, and it felt absolutely wonderful.

Manik got so engrossed in the feeling that at that moment, he had forgotten all his insecurities. He drowned himself in the feeling of her lips against his, and to him it just felt... magical. It was something he'd been thinking of since a few days, but it was just a wish. A wish he thought wouldn't ever come true, but at the very moment when it was, he began to hope for more.

But the ecstasy he got from it stopped when his eyes flew open in shock as he realized what was happening. He moved away immediately and stood up, much to her dismay. She was shocked, and he was completely disgusted.

This was unfair to her and he knew that. She would hate him once she found out the whole truth and she would hate this moment then. It was her sympathy for his childhood that had triggered this and once she found out that his messed up childhood was the reason he married her, she would never look at him the same way again. He didn't want that, and he had to tell her the truth, no matter what.

"There's something I have to tell you first," he slowly started, still a little out of breath and it was then that he realized that there were two things he wanted to confess. He had to tell her the truth, but he also had to tell her that this kiss meant a lot to him. It wasn't just something that occurred in the heat of the moment and he hoped that when he told her that, she'd be glad.

The thunder stroke then and it gave Nandini a rude awakening. She could make a guess as to what he was going to say, and he couldn't do that. This kiss couldn't mean anything to her or him. It had just happened due to their raging hormones and that had to be it. She was determined to make sure that there was nothing more to it.

He sucked in a breath as he closed his eyes, preparing himself for what he was going to say and praying for the luck to get him through this. He knew that he would need a whole lot of luck for this. It wasn't easy for him to confess, but he just had to. He couldn't keep on doing this anymore; he couldn't be selfish any longer.

"Nandini," he slowly started to say and her eyes widened in fear immediately.

"Manik, stop," she quickly cut him off, breathless. "I know what you're going to say."

"Please let me do this," he pleaded, his eyes still closed. He had finally got the amount of courage he required to tell her this and he wouldn't back down now - he couldn't back down now. It was wrong for both of them and he didn't want that. He had done so many wrong things to her in the past and he knew that he had to stop. He had to be fair to both her and himself.

He wanted to be with her, enjoy his time with her, start a new life with her, but he knew he couldn't do any of that unless he told her this. She had to hear it, and he would make sure that she did.

"I think I-"

"Don't," Nandini spoke once again, the dread and fear getting to her. She couldn't hear those words from him; not yet, at least. She was not ready to come to terms with her emotions as of yet. She hadn't even confronted her own self; she hadn't even started realizing what this was. And she knew she couldn't because right now, her purpose was to hate him. It wasn't a choice; it was just something she must to. That was exactly why she couldn't hear him say those words at any cost. It's too soon, she kept on thinking to herself, too soon, too soon, too soon.

"I think I like you," he finally confessed and she knew she'd lost this battle now. "Heck, I might even love you."

Time had stopped then for the both of them as she stared at him in pure and utter shock. She knew he shouldn't have done this, and he knew that this was best for the both of them. None of them realized the depth of those words, but they knew that this would definitely come back to haunt them later in the future.

"That's why I've decided I'm going to tell you this. I have to be selfless for once and let you know the whole truth, because you deserve to," Manik told her, and it was then that he went on to describe it all from the very start. She would hear the whole version of it and he would make sure of that. He would let go of his fears this time and trust her not to leave.

As the thunder stroke once again, she was silent for the rest of the night.

c h a p t e r t w e n t y t w o

When he woke up the next morning, Manik didn't know what to expect once he stepped out of his own room and made his way to the next. She hadn't said a single word last night and it scared him. He guessed that she was thinking it over, and he was ready to give her as much time as she needed.

However, alongside the fear, he also felt that a huge burden got off his chest. Finally confessing about his feelings made him relieved and much more... lighter. It gave him a certain kind of joy he just couldn't explain, and he decided that maybe words wouldn't even do justice to it.

It was not something that could be penned down; it was a feeling. It was a sensation so real and so wonderful that he craved more of it. It was something amazing to him and he liked it very, very much. He had never felt anything like this before.

As he finally reached her room and clasped the door knob in his hand, the joy slowly started to fade. His palms got sweaty and once again, the fear took over. What if she left? He was used to people leaving him all the time and recently, he thought he'd grown immune to it. But now, as the familiar sense of dread and fear clouded over, he realized that he could never get used to it. He would still be hurt, because he had been hoping. He was hoping and trusting her and if she, too, broke this trust, he didn't know what he would do.

Manik shook his head, trying to get rid of those negative thoughts which were in no way helping his condition. Instead, he took a deep breath, and gathered every bit of courage he had to slowly turn that door knob and step in the room that awaited his future.

It was then that his heart got shattered yet again.

The room was empty, the bed was made, and her suitcase was gone. He couldn't see a single trace of her anywhere and he knew that she'd left.

The all too familiar feeling of hurt and betrayal came back to him and this time, he accepted it. He figured it was his fault for trusting and hoping yet again when he'd gone through this same experience so many times. It was futile to ever expect anything from people because all anyone knew was to hurt and disappoint others.

He felt like laughing at his own self at that moment. Why would she even stay back after she got to know of the truth and how selfish he was? Why would she trust him and live with him after what he'd done to her? Why would she ever love him, and why was he foolish enough to think that she even could?

Manik cursed himself for hoping. Hope was something that rewarded a person with the most wonderful feeling once it was complete. But when the hope was proved wrong, it could crush the heart into pieces and break the person completely. That was exactly how Manik felt and he would swear that it was not an exaggeration.

She'd left him, but she left him with heartache, and it wasn't showing any signs of leaving anytime soon.

When Cabir opened his bedroom door after the constant knocking, he was expecting a servant or maybe even his parents. He certainly was not expecting his younger sister stand there with a smirk on her face which, to him, was completely unlike her.

"Hello, Cabir," Nandini greeted him in a polite tone and it seemed all too fake.

"What are you doing here?" were the first words he could utter, and Nandini felt like laughing at his befuddled expression.

"I'm sure you're surprised," she chose to stay. "Well, I guess I should explain."

"Who let you in?"

"My parents," Nandini said with a sense of pride. The way her biological parents had accepted her was something she didn't expect, but it also made her respect them all the more. She felt blessed to have the love and affection of such good people, but she also felt anger towards Cabir and Manik for not letting her realize this sooner.

"Last night, I came upon a revelation that really shocked me, you know," Nandini started to say, and Cabir gulped. He knew what was coming but he was still hoping to be proved wrong. "My dear husband told me the reason he really married me, and I was not expecting it at all."

"I don't have the time for this," Cabir said and turned back, but her words soon stopped him.

"You're gay, aren't you?" She asked to his retreating back and he came to a halt, shutting his eyes. He felt like a thief who'd been caught doing a crime, and he hated that feeling.

Nandini gave him some time to process the words and all she received was silence. Soon, she started to say, "Being gay is not anything that is wrong, Cabir. But destroying a life just to keep a secret of yours? Did you never even think of the fact that we share the same blood?"

"I'm not-"

"I think you have another reason," Nandini pointed out and he knew that she was right. "There's something else here that I don't know about because I refuse to believe that anyone can be this cruel and selfish."

Cabir knew that he couldn't tell her any longer. How could he confess that his petty sibling jealousy was also involved, without sounding even more cruel and selfish? The way his parents were treating Nandini, compared to the way they'd treated him burned his soul. It made him angry and it resulted in him hating his own sister. But he couldn't tell her that because he knew that she wasn't at fault, and that he'd sound like an even worse person. That was exactly why he stood mum and eventually, after some time, Nandini decided to give up, even if it was for a little while.

Manik stomped his foot angrily on the footpath. He'd been trying to withdraw money that he needed from the ATM, but to his luck, today was the day his parents decided to terminate all his credit cards. He was expecting this, but not today. After Nandini had left, all he wanted was to live the rest of the day in solitude, but that was clearly proving to be difficult. Fate had other plans for him, and he was not at all excited to find out what they were.

It was then when he was thinking about fate and its twisted ways that his cell phone beeped and when Manik took it out to see a message from Nyonika, he sighed in exasperation. He was too drained out to deal with her, and he really didn't want to open that text. He did it anyway, hoping he wouldn't regret it and as he read her words, Manik's eyes widened in pure and utter shock.

N: Just a heads up; the police will soon be arriving at our old beach house, in case you're staying there.

At that moment, Manik decided that this was just too much for him. The day had only started and it was already getting so eventful. He wasn't sure if he could survive this for any longer because fate had planned to torture him.

What is she planning? He tried to figure out. Why give me a heads up' after sending the police after me? What is cooking in her sick, twisted mind?

He wanted to try and understand it, but he knew that he didn't have the time. He had to find a place to stay at and almost out of instinct, he automatically started dialing Cabir's number, but soon he stopped.

He was positive that Nandini would return to the Dhawans' residence and that would cause Cabir to find out that his best friend had let out his secret. Manik knew how precious it was to Cabir and right now, he wondered if he would ever want to see him again. What if Cabir started hating him? He knew that he was to be blamed, but he couldn't bear the thought of Cabir being angry at him and never talking to him again. After all, he was the only person who had always been there with Manik no matter what.

He knew that there was a confrontation awaiting him, but right now he didn't have the time for that. He had to look for a place where he could hide, and he had to have contacts. But at this time of need, Manik didn't know who to turn to. He was officially penniless and homeless, and he didn't have a clue as to how he'd survive.

It was then that Manik remembered a certain someone and in pure and utter desperation, he dialed that one number. He couldn't be making a mistake at a time like this and he knew that.

"Hello?" the voice came from the other line and Manik almost sighed in relief.

"Alya," he said, his voice holding a certain desperation and yet, also a bit of joy, "I need your help."