I was present when the Shahenshah gave vent to his grief. When waves of sadness and bereavement made him blame his throne for his woes. I lowered my gaze in respect and witnessed his real and deep anguish. It is humbling to see a great ruler acknowledge his inability to deal with a circumstance. He was looking for sustenance outside of himself and I felt he had taken a vital step, but where it would lead him I could not tell.
Then Jodha Begum Sahiba came upon the scene. She did not just stand, neither did she just witness, she bridged the distance between her and him. Standing by him she looked at the burning takht and she also saw a man bravely laying bare his soul. He said he was willing to forego all. No more did he want to associate with the power that has corrupted, that has demanded the loss of everyone he held dear. Something resonated with her. With tears she spoke fortifying words of comfort. Aap kabhi akele nahin hai Shahenshah She was willing to watch him break and not look away till he was strong again to face a new beginning. The new beginning that was yet unknown and so required a faith that anchors the soul. She would validate him in his vulnerable moments in a way that no outsider can. I could bear seeing one heart tested in the fire, but two hearts together strangely tested me.
As he poured out his feelings, I could no longer be there.Just as Begum Sahiba instinctively cradled him in her arms, I backed away and tiptoed out. I leaned against the wall outside, my heart now also lit with a tenderness so fragile. Behind me, at the very pinnacle of power, two people were wrestling with the cruel vagaries of rule and responsibility. But they also had such pliable hearts that could bow and acquire a new strength. Yes, I could understand them, yes, I could see them prevail by the grace of God. Because after the thunder is the calm and then the drenching storm.
The Fake Court Chronicler who has seen much but made sense of little...until now.
sidenote scribbled the next day: These events are part of a series of many that I have had to witness for record keeping purposes. Recent events have come upon the court in such a rush that I have been run ragged and am badly in need of a strong cup of tea. Gulbadan Begum Sahiba is on leave. Which only adds to my workload. But these are special times of change and I must keep my wits about me and record the transition in the mood and tenor of the court. It is not my intent to be overly emotional about matters of state. But the will, emotions and intellect must all co-exist in varying proportions depending on the day and the hour and a romantic imagination may have also played a part. I recorded what I saw. Let readers reach their varied conclusions.
Kumkum Bhagya
Anupamaa
