ASHLOK FF - AT FIRST SIGHT Last Chapter - Page 79

Without you I'm like a song that's missing it's melody

How could you be so cruel to take away my life's remedy

A moment with you is worth a life time without you

Please dear lord take me back or show me what to do!

~*AnupamA*~

She didn't have to ask him to come inside, Rashmi and Roshni was all over him. They were pulling him inside. Shlok felt something was definitely wrong. Astha looked distant and she had a blank look. Her body language was totally off. She was not the same person he left less than two weeks before. Hell not the same person he spoke 72 hours before. What has changed. Apparently everything, he was to find out soon enough.

She looked very serious. She asked Shanthi to take the girls to the park. They protested? They wanted to be with their dad. She was in no mood to argue or bargain with them. She just reminded them what they had talked. Shanthi took them out and wss gone the next moment.

She closed the door. And Shlok just hugged her from behind. "Astha, what's going on, why didn't you take my calls? What did I do? Please talk to me" he said turning her towards him them trying to Kiss her. What she did next, made his heart freeze. She moved her face away from his. Indicating him not to kiss her.

He let go of her in an instant. She was prepared for this. She had memorised all that she needed to say to him. But all that was forgotten and went out the window the moment she saw him standing at her her doorstep.

"Astha, what's changed... You don't want me to touch you, kiss you? Just tell me what I did wrong. I'll make it right. Where is my Astha, where is my wife? I don't know you. What have you done with her?" He was losing his mind and his heart was breaking in to smithereens. There was no putting it back together this time around.

She didn't know what to say. She was numb with fear, fear of breaking his heart, fear of her heart betraying her, fear of totally destroying the only person whom she's ever loved, fear of breaking all the promises she made to him, fear of loosing her sanity, fear of being hated by the one person she wants to be loved by. But there's no other way. She needs to do it. She can't make the same mistakes her mother made. So she keeps telling herself.

Shlok shook her holding by the shoulders. She was on earth. Facing the toughest reality. "Dammit, Astha, just tell me what it is. What's going on? Talk to me baby" she looked at him and she was lost in his eyes. He wanted to kiss her, make love to her long and hard. He missed her so much. Instead of showing each other how much they missed being away. What are they doing standing here arguing. The next moment she was being carried off to her room. He kept saying how much he missed her. She the same. Their hands and mouths were moving with such urgency that it was almost too late Before she realised what they were about to do. She had to use all her mental and physical strength to push him off her. He was startled. Looked as if he's just seen a ghost. She said "stop it Shlok, please just leave me and never come back. I can't do this. I can't marry you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I can't do this. I can't do this... Saying she broke down.

He felt as if the ground below him shattered and he was falling into to a abyss. As if the air had been sucked out of his lungs. What is she saying?He couldn't fathom what she was saying?

"No I will not just leave like that. I want to know. I want to know what made you change your mind. I deserve that much. I will not leave until you tell me what it is that I have done that made you take this decision. Answer me dammit! He grabbed her hand made her face him. He was angry and hurt . More angry. She was playing with his life. With their future.

"Nothing happened to me. I just realised things that I should've before. I was soo blinded by emotions that I didn't see things clrearly. I can't marry you Shlok. I can't make the same mistakes as my mother! I will not put my babies lives in danger for my selfish needs. I will not do it. I won't" saying she got out of his hold. And got out of the bed. He was shell shocked. He was trying to comprehend exactly what she was saying, what she implied.

He grabbed her again, there were tears in his eyes, but he looked like s wounded beast, on counter attack. " what are you saying? Are you saying that you don't trust me with our kids? Are you comparing me to that bas***d? Are you saying you're afraid that one day I'd do what that SOB did to you? Tell me Astha... Look me in the eye and tell me? He was hovering over her and with tears running down his cheeks and nostrils flaring. His eyes were spitting fire. If looks could kill, then she'd be dead and gone. She was frighten to say anything. She thought he'd just eat her up. He was scaring her. His hold on her tighten. She was trying to free her hand and get away from his menacing glare. But he was too strong for her to get away so easily.

"Why don't you say it? Look me in the eye and tell me exactly what is it that you're afraid of" he growled again just inches away from her pale face. She could feel his breath on her. It was warm. But she was cold as a icicle. She wished to be dead than see him in this state. Than having to answer to his questions.

"Can you blame me Shlok? I know next to nothing about you. All I know is what you've told me. All I know about is what I've seen for the past month or so. For all I know you could be married with a family" she finally managed to say.

"I've told you everything about me. Every damn thing that happened to me and that's important to us. So now your telling me. Now you have doubts about my honesty and my intensions. You wonder if I'm some sort of sick demented low life, whose only intension is to under the pretext of loving you come and rape our babies like your step father did? Is that what your telling me? Answer me Astha..." He was loosing his composure rapidly.

She couldn't look at him. She was one too frighten. Other being she was afraid if she did he'd see the truth in her eyes.

"I wish I died that day in that street. I wish I never met you Astha. You might as well put a bullet through my head and finish it off. You gave me everything and just like that took it all away in a split second and destroyed it beyond repair. How am I suppose to go on without you? Tell me this is some sick joke you're playing on me Astha! He said trying to hug her.

She pushed him away and screamed at him "this no joke Shlok. Get it to your head. This is real as it gets. I have nothing more to say. Please just leave before the kids comeback. Just forget about us. I have. You should too"

"Just who the hell are you? I don't know you? You're not the same Astha I fell in love with, promised to live the rest of my life with. Promised to never ever leave me, promised to always be by my side. I don't know you. What have you done with my Astha? He was like a predator cornering its prey. He grabbed her by the hands and tighten the grip. Astha winced in pain. Seeing her in pain he gave a wicked grin and tighten the grip even more. "This pain is nothing compared to the pain you caused me"

Seeing him so aggressive scared her. "Shlok, let go of me your hurting me, please! your hurting me" she was in acute physical pain but nothing compared to the pain her heart was feeling.

Shlok snapped out of his trance... Let go of her hands and just walked out. Just like that he was out of her life for ever. She just fell to the floor. Unable to support her weight. She heard the door being slammed shut. With that bang the door to happiness was shut and bolted in her heart. Her life has come to a stand still. She didn't know how she's going to pick up the pieces and carry on. Go on she must. For the sake of her kids. But how? She didn't know.

For once in her life she wanted to live for her. But that was too much to ask for. Her life has been always decided and dictated by others. Things weren't going to change anytime soon. The realisation of never seeing him, never being held by him, never ever feeling his warmth, being touched by him, kissed by him, never seeing his mischievous smile, hearing his tender voice. She just curled into a foetus position and cried until she had passed out.